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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affair Thread XV
SI Staff
Moderator
Member # 10
Default  Posted: 7:03 PM, May 6th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 7:23 PM, May 6th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

New Digs...who wants to decorate?


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 7:25 PM, May 6th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay...now that I have that part out of the way....


I came on and saw LTA was full and I remember when I was a newbie and the panic I felt the first time LTA was full and I didn't know what to do. Newbies, just go to general and ask for a mod and tell them LTA is full and <voila> new thread.

Okay, where were we...


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, May 6th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ooh......my first time

but now i will get confused on who posted what....my brain has been like scrambled fried eggs....

so you will all forgive if i forget, my kids never forgive me you will won't you?

unfortunately i do remember that we all seem to be in alot of pain

i feel like someone should burst out in song.....

the sun will come out...tomorrow....

except here in the northeast or in my house thats not in the forecast


much ((((((HUGS))))))


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, May 6th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll leave the decorating to someone else as my mood is "Paint it Black".

No advice for anyone... just empathy and {{{LTA tribe}}}

Thanks for the supportive messages on the last pages of our previous 'home'. I'm glad that some of us are experiencing good things and are thoughtful to share with those still struggling.


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
hurt789
♀ Member
Member # 20937
Default  Posted: 6:05 AM, May 7th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

on my way out the door to work )(ugh!!)
wanted to say hi and i hope everyones day is just a little better than before!


BS 40
WS 43
MARRIED 20
TOGATHER 22
1 PERFECT DAUGHTER
DDAY7/13/08
LTA - ALWAYS


Posts: 240 | Registered: Sep 2008
kalamity
♀ Member
Member # 21802
Default  Posted: 5:23 PM, May 7th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just bought some lovely Laura Ashley pastel impressionist upholstery fabric for cushions - and I'll bring a bottle of merlot.


When it feels like your life is falling apart, perhaps it is falling in place.

BS(me)-56
WS-59: LTA (22+ years)
MOW-54: H's old girlfriend
D-day 08/11/08 (3 days before 25th anniversary)
Working hard on R


Posts: 104 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Nebraska
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, May 7th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i've got the xanax, the kleenex and the dartboard....


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 10:10 PM, May 7th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

eerily quiet on this board tonite....

had an odd day....it was a sybil kind of day......

i am glad its almost over, although tomorrow may be an instant replay of today, i am so tired of always waiting for x to happen so that i can get to y...i think its time to jump straight to y....

jumping to y when the man has to stay, is so much easier said then done

i would love to a live a life that is much easier done then said......it might be exciting....

hope the quiet means good news for all....or at the very least some peace....

(((((TRIBE)))))


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
Lost Heart2
♀ Member
Member # 21793
Default  Posted: 2:26 AM, May 8th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

New home! Hey Hey!!!

Laura Ashley..
With that, I am thinking a white clapboard house alongside a river. A long wraparound verandah with wicker furniture where we can watch the sunset and listen to the birdsong and just chat.

***
Miracle,
Sweetie, I am sure you must get tired of hearing this, but these are way early days for you, so go easy on yourself. At your stage, I was barely conherent...

***
Any song proposals to initiate our home?


LTA BS

Dday#1 02.06.06
Dday#2 28.11.06


Mind what you love. Mind how you are loved.


Posts: 471 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: London, UK
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 5:08 AM, May 8th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would propose the following song as I think we all need it;

The Beatles
"Here Comes the Sun"

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right
It's all right


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
brooke4
♀ Member
Member # 13581
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, May 8th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Not sure this song is too meaningful, but it always makes me laugh, so I think we definitely need it in the new house.

I'm sure this is my twisted sense of humor showing but I love everything about it. The awful production of the video, Joey's hideous jeans, the old men with the violins, the dancers at the end, but somehow the sincerity under the irony..

OK. Maybe it's just me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4H9yZBjgSI


Me: BS, 40, Him: WS 41
Married: 15 years
3 children
D-Day: 10/2005

Posts: 1483 | Registered: Feb 2007
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 8:27 AM, May 8th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

woohoo....i was asked out n a date today...and it FEELS GREAT....

i was honest and told my husband and he started in with a million questions, none of which i answered save but 1, he wanted to know what i was going to do, i answered that i was very tempted but nothing right this minute

everytime he asked another question i told him that i was not going to tell him anything more, unlike him, i will not lie, and then i said well maybe i'll just give you the answer i told you to give me when you didn't want to answer anything...so i answered a few times that i don't know how to answer that...

what a self esteem booster,


oh and i did tell him that i was not the persuer like he was, i was persued....what a rush....

he started crying on the phone because he is in a panic, so i just told him to have a wonderful day and hung up.....

being asked out was a super cool feeling

telling my wh about was even better

i hope everyone else here has a wonderful day, i will check in later......

as always

(((((TRIBE)))))


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, May 8th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HS - Love the song. It's perfect for us!
LH - Ah, a summer cottage on the water - now that's one way to find some inner peace.
I thought we might want to have a little pet to cuddle so I'm linking this site. I kind of like the name Frisky. Anyone else want to bring a pet along?
http://www.terrificpets.com/dogs_for_sale/viewad.asp?adid=93837
Miracle - wow, that must have been a lift. And your H's reaction, perfect. Just be careful (sorry, but I would be remiss if I didn't say that).
ETA - Here's my song contribution - Now we haven't decided to kick these men to the curb but I do think we have to know that we will survive and they have to know it too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBR2G-iI3-I
to the tribe

[This message edited by forgivenotforget at 8:54 AM, May 8th (Friday)]


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
megT
♀ Member
Member # 13879
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, May 8th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok. I want to know if I belong.

What is the definition of LTA? How many months or years are considered LTA?

Are those that post reconcilling or divorcing?

What is shared here?

Seems like the questions are too general; but, I would like to know the temperment.

ETA: clarify

[This message edited by megT at 10:06 AM, May 8th (Friday)]


DJP - Don't judge the past... Don't waste God's graces given today on the future. Live in the moment.

Posts: 472 | Registered: Mar 2007
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, May 8th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

did you ws have a long term affair?

thats who we are, our ws's have had long term affairs,

mine had 2 of them simultaneously....he's as they say in the wizard of oz....a horse of many colors


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
kalamity
♀ Member
Member # 21802
Default  Posted: 10:37 AM, May 8th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Miracle: What I wouldn't give to be asked for a date!!! Congratulations. I can appreciate making your H squirm a little also.

Meg: I'm not sure where the line is between a STA and a LTA. Don't be intimidated by those of us dealing with 20 years or more. The A for some here was much shorter. There is alot of banter here that is just intended to offer emotional support to each other, but there have also been some very specific questions and answers. It seems to me that most of us are R, but I've noticed a few D as well.

Bring it on, sweetie. We're ready for anything, because this is an awesome tribe!


When it feels like your life is falling apart, perhaps it is falling in place.

BS(me)-56
WS-59: LTA (22+ years)
MOW-54: H's old girlfriend
D-day 08/11/08 (3 days before 25th anniversary)
Working hard on R


Posts: 104 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Nebraska
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 11:23 AM, May 8th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MegT-

The typical definition of an LTA is 2 years or longer. However, I am concerned for you as your profile says R'd but now you are here. Is everything okay? Did you find out more from the past or did another bomb drop on you?

We are here to help.

(((MegT))


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, May 8th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hey tribe, i posted about my being asked for date in general....its gotten quite a heated reponse.....i find it rather interesting, almost like a debate of sorts...

gotta go do some errands, i will check in again later


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, May 8th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

its gotten quite a heated reponse

understatement of the century!!!

You know DS has stopped everyone from posting until you go back in there and post! Holeeee Sheeeet, girl!


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
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