Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Depressed4ever (43230)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affair Thread XV
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, June 11th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds really great, HS. Just one request then, that you'll let me know if you ever decide to take a day trip to NY. Deal???


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, June 11th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Deal. Let us know as soon as you hear about the baby!


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, June 11th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let us know as soon as you hear about the baby!

You can count on it! Well better get back to pacing the floor - this waiting around long distance is KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, June 11th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

fnf....yay....keep us posted

suitey...still praying for you.....

my compuer has crashed, i am on a borrwoed laptop...will try to check in later.....

still worried about suitey...been thinking about her all day...her post in general was quite sad and somewhat alarming......she believes she does not matter, that no one cares that she does not fit in anywhere....it was a really sad goodbye and rather final and very reaching, if i make any sense.......


watched dr phil today from the other day, i had taped it, of course i cried, of course i could relate, of course it still hurts......
watching these men lie, outright lie, and they really believe that they will be believed....go figure!!!! but then again i am married to a man just like that!!!!

later (((((TRIBE)))))


((((((SUITEY))))))


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, June 11th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My DIL is in the hospital now and is 5 cm. dilated as of 4:30 this afternoon. I should have some news by the morning. Life is good!!!!


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 5:31 PM, June 11th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ooooooh! That is so exciting. We want pics, too!!

BTW, all you UK people, my H is over there right now. Maybe he should have done a GTG with you guys so you could beat the crap outta him!


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 5:38 PM, June 11th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HS - can you send him over to the hospital to check on my babies?
FYI, my DIL is having a water birth. Wild, at least to me. My son just text'd me and said she is entering the water now. This is so damn hard being so far away.

ETA - HS - I knew you'd appreciate this but I'm sopping up the wine and getting all teary eyed waiting to hear the news!

[This message edited by forgivenotforget at 5:40 PM, June 11th (Thursday)]


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, June 11th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I could ask him but he might be a little sleepy!!

I am "sipping" wine and shredding visa bills (no, I am not trying to hide the evidence). I save financial records of all kinds for waaaaaay to long. These are old bills stored in banker boxes in the attic from the 1990s. A little triggery but, fortunately, no new info. Also had insurance records going back to the 90s. Will one of you please come clean out my house?!!!

All those years of working full time with two little ones and no husband (the visa bills confirm that). In one month he was in Amsterdam for 10 days and then New Orleans for a week (the "lungs and liver tour") then when he finally was home multiple "client dinners" which meant he and his team out eating steaks and getting drunk. And, no, the OW never were treated to that!!! Anyway, all of those years I justed boxed all of the records up after tax time and stuck them in the attic. As part of my purge, I am going through the house room by room, closet by closet, drawer by drawer and getting rid of everything I/we don't need.

Back to "sipping" and shredding.


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, June 11th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HS - I love days like that. I am the ultimate hoarder and have papers that go way back. I told my H that if I die first, he'll have a great bonfire. I still have rough drafts and papers I wrote from my college days. I pity my children if I die before I get through the stuff stored in my attic.
BTW, still waiting for news.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 7:49 PM, June 11th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

IT'S A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7 lbs. 4 oz. 3.360 kilos for our London friends

[This message edited by forgivenotforget at 8:23 PM, June 11th (Thursday)]


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, June 11th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations, granny!

Now you have one of each right?


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, June 11th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations, granny!

I am so happy for you. What a nice thing to have a new life brought into the world. I am making wishes now that she have a blessed life.


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, June 11th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And a proud granny I am. Yep, a grandson and a granddaugher. I am feeling blessed! My son is a great man and his wife is a sweetheart. She will be well loved of that I am sure.
Thanks for sharing this special event with me. It's means more than I can say.
happy


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 11:28 PM, June 11th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FNF- CONGRATULATIONS!!! What a beautiful thing healthy babies are :)

I am heading out for vacation and won't be back until the first part of July. Wish me luck on traveling with FWH and two kids- we're DRIVING about 3,000 miles. Hmmmmm.... Seriously, I'm hoping this bonding time will be good for our family. And here's hoping that FWH leaves the darn computer at home. I'm praying about that!

The issue about forgiveness and the OW- well, that's a heavy topic and my getting-ready-for-vacation and coping-with-kid's-end-of-year-school-"stuff" brain is already on vacation. That OW topic isn't going anywhere, so I expect a lively chat about it when I get back.

Hugs to all,
HB


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 12:41 AM, June 12th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congrats FnF aka Gramma! a precious granddaughter.

We are waiting for grandson #2 who is due in less than 4 wks. Email from our dd said '6 more working days Mom' so she is counting down. On Sunday she didn't know what she'd do with a month off but now she's ready to be at home... nesting.

Who did I read is in NY? I am across the lake in Canada til Wed. So near yet so far for a GTG!

Have to get some sleep but wide awake, brain won't shut down. Guess I'm a little triggery being back where the A started although OW isn't here.

Take care as the wkend approaches and life prevents dropping in to SI for a while.

{{{LTA}}}

I haven't been on SI


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 2:41 AM, June 12th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just switched on andÖÖ. CONGRATULATIONS on the news!! A nice weight. We still do lbís and ozís for babies with kgís for the hospital records. Itís all a mix up with metric and imperial. We talk about miles to the gallon on a car and buy petrol in litres. Itís still pints of beer (568ml), unless buying by the bottle (330 or 440ml). But with babies itís the old weights together with how many inches long, ounces of milk, etc. It can be confusing!

Bet you canít wait for that flight to get over here! Has DS sent you a photo to be going on with? Wonderful news and makes everything right with the world.

So, she gotta name? Or are we calling her Baby fnf?

LS, Are you miffed youíre still twiddling your thumbs?? Not long though, >>>sigh<<<

HB, have a great time and hereís hoping this brings you closer together after this last episode. (((HB)))

Have a great day everyone!

[This message edited by UKgirl at 2:41 AM, June 12th (Friday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, June 12th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But I have young kids whose lives I don't want to see destroyed by their father's dysfunction

hb....forgive me i do not remember the ages of your children......but this statement screamed at me and i wanted to address it from 2 points of view...

first....if your children ae young it would be alot less detrimental to them to begin anew, had i learned about pfm's lta's 10 years ago i would have chosen the route of throwing his ass out, as a child from a home where the dad was gone early on, its much easier growing up with dad gone, its just feels normal

second....being the parent of teenagers, i feel stuck...especially one of them who would take this hard enough to change him and the changes might be catastrophic...this child already has such a wounded sense of self thatnks to pfm that he has so much healing that needs to be done, healing that would serve better if he did not have to deal with pfm's infidelity on top of pfm's dysfunction as a dad.....and thanks to pfm's announcement a couple of months ago to his children on the degree of disconnection he had from them, he now has to show them so much different.....my kids were lucky in that i had done so much damage control over the years between their dad and them they really never realized just how disconnected he was.....we ALL Chalked it up to just working too damned hard and of course his f'ed up family.....but making his announcement to the kids kind of put a new spin on it, that and they see that he has hurt their mom deeply by his lies and his priority issues especially with his foo......anyway i am rambling, i am now stuck because the teen years are the most volatile years when everything is hunky dory.....

make sure that you work it out in your head where your kids are concerned for both now at this young age and later when they are teens......

its a really lousy feeling being stuck......but at least i know that i am doing everything possible for my kids future.....it makes no sense for all of us to be miserable, but someday they will grow up and i won't have to be "stuck" anymore...

oh and your writings on forgiveness are inspiring, i plan on copying it.

[This message edited by iwantamiracle at 9:20 AM, June 12th (Friday)]


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, June 12th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why is it that when I get close to acceptance I retreat

this one screamed at me too...

i feel like this all the damn time, i wish i knew why?

letting go and accepting when i do feel it, (because like you it comes and goes) anyways when i feel it it really feels good, very freeing, then i trigger and i feel like i am back a square one, or should i say square 2 with the RAGE.....

i am so damned angry that he did this, that he married me knowing that she was there, and not dealing with her, his parents, hell for dealing with HIMSELF.....that now i am "STUCK" with him as he was and is....


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, June 12th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

fnf....congratualtions grandma....a girl...they have the BEST clothes for girls......good news is always a joy to hear.....


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, June 12th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh and i am a new yorker here.....

hugs to all

i think i finally caught up, hence all the separate posts.....and i went in order of date to not get confused...confusion seems to be a way of life these day

[This message edited by iwantamiracle at 9:47 AM, June 12th (Friday)]


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.