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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Spouses/Partners of Sex Addicts 4
SI Staff
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Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, July 19th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, July 19th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I filled 3 so here we are!

Everyone, please go back to SPOSA 3 and make sure you read all the posts on page 50 (and before if you need to catch up) before you move over here.

Also, watchingU the last post of that thread is for you. Well, it's for everyone really but it addresses the things you brought up.

ETA: I wanted to REPOST he new member's post here so it won't get missed.

ky_197220
New Member
Member # 24728
Posted: 9:32 AM, July 19th (Sunday), 2009

Can anyone refer me to a good definition of a SA. I'm beginning to think that may be my WS big issue along with childhood physical, emotional & sexual abuse. While snooping I've discovered he set up a match.com account while also seeing the OW and visited a porn site daily. The match.com account is what freaks me out the most.

As weird as it might sound I am wondering if having the babies triggered him since they were abused at a young age. The crying bothered him more than what was normal. It's also about the same time he really started to detach himself from me, them and eventually other people. I would appreciate the input of anyone who has some experience with this. It's not an excuse for what he has done to us but when I think of him and his sibling as young kids and what they were forced to do I just want to cry for him.

[This message edited by 7yrsbetrayed at 1:44 PM, July 19th (Sunday)]


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, July 19th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ky_197220
Welcome to the club that no one wants to join. With just the little bit of info you provided I think you're on the right path. If you think he's SA you're probably right.

List of resources for Spouses/Partners of SA
This is the advice and list of resources I give to all members newly dealing with a possible or confirmed SA (sex addict) partner. This is all good advice even if you don't stay together. If you don't educate yourself about SA and codependency you're very likely to end up with another addict partner.

I am not a professional, I cannot diagnose your husband. However, I am the spouse of a rSA (recovering Sex Addict) and I have 10 years of experience living with that (about 7 of which were spent not knowing about the sex addiction but knowing something was "off.") The observations I make and the advice I give are based on my experience. Read my profile.
~~
Educate yourself about sexual addiction.
First and foremost you should read, "Mending a Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts" by Stefanie Carnes. Read this book, whether you stay or not. This should be one of the very first things you do. READ THIS BOOK. (This is the absolute best book I've ever read for spouses of SA. I cannot say enough good things about this book. I would have given anything for this book to have been available when I found out 3+ years ago, because at the time, there was nothing!) NOTE: It is currently out of print they are doing another printing and it's supposed to be available soon. Keep searching Amazon for it!

While you're waiting for "MaSH" to be reprinted. READ:
"Deceived: Facing Sexual Betrayal, Lies and Secrets by Claudia Black PhD

~~~~
His best hope for recovery is for him to seek treatment with a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) Here is a resource to find CSATs by zip code:
http://www.iitap.com/find_csat.cfm

You might also want to start on that website to find a good therapist for yourself. He has to work his recovery on his own and even if he doesn't get help you'll need counseling to recover from the trauma of being married to a sex addict. And believe me, it IS a trauma. You need to find counselors who are experts on SA otherwise you're in for a world of confusion and pain. (This is my opinion based on experience)
~~~~
Online resources:
http://www.sexhelp.com
This is Dr Patrick Carnes' website. He is *the* expert on SA.

http://www.sa.org
Sexaholics Anonymous
If your husband faces his sex addiction and seeks treatment he'll most likely be directed to a 12-Step group. This is the one I recommend. If you look at their site you'll also find information for yourself that may be helpful. (I personally recommend SA not SAA because SAA is too lax in their definition of healthy sexual behavior. This is my opinion.)

http://www.recoverynation.com is an excellent online community with online recovery workshops for both the SA and the spouse. (This should not replace seeing a CSAT (see below) and going to SA meetings (see above) for the sex addict but is a great addition to those things.)

http://www.candeocan.com This is an excellent source of information. They focus on what they call "porn addiction" however, there is no such thing, it is ALL sex addiction. The info on their site is so good that I still recommend it with the explanation that "porn" addiction is in fact "sex" addiction.
~~~~
To fully understand SA you both need to do some reading. If he doesn't face his addiction you should still do the reading to help yourself and decide what you want. I don't advise women to stay with SAs who are not in recovery and who are not sober.

For You:
"Don't Call It Love: Recovery From Sexual Addiction" by Patrick Carnes (I recommend you read this after you've read "Mending a Shattered Heart" but not before.)

For the SA:
"Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction" by Patrick Carnes
(I don't recommend you read this book, but it would be an excellent read for your husband to start if he's willing to face his addiction, while you read "Mending a Shattered Heart")

Most SAs have a serious porn habit, this book "Porn Nation" by Michael Leahy, would be a good book for the SA. Mr. Leahy is a recovering sex addict who had a serious porn addiction that cost him pretty much everything before he finally hit bottom. (I don't recommend that wives read this book at first. It's too triggery for "just found outs")
~~~~
You might also find this post really helpful. It's about setting healthy boundaries with your spouse.
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=256949&HL=10198
This is going to be vital for you going forward. You cannot force him to seek treatment and you cannot control him but you do have a right to set boundaries to keep yourself safe.

PM me anytime.
7

(the bonus of posting this for ky_197220 is that we can direct people to "the first page of SPOSA 4" instead of linking to my journal (which is confusing for some) and posting this again. I will not post this list again within the thread, I'll just point people to page 1)

[This message edited by 7yrsbetrayed at 2:04 PM, July 27th (Monday)]


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
1 day at a time
♀ New Member
Member # 24787
Happy  Posted: 2:25 PM, July 19th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ky_197220

Please take 7's advice. I have already learned a lot by reading her posts. I have purchased the books she has recommended and am trying very hard to set boundaries as recommended. I cannot believe the strength that I feel since first finding this site last week. It really helps to know you're not alone. I am actually excited because I have my first S-Anon meeting tomorrow night.

My WH was also sexually, emotionally and physically abused as a child - by both of his parents really. It becomes very difficult for me to separate the pain that I know he is going through (recently recovered memories) from the pain that he is causing to our family.

It has become glaringly apparent to me over this weekend that my WH is choosing his addiction over recovery at this time. Unfortunately, that is going to make my boundary setting all the more difficult. We have a joint counseling session with both of our counselors on Wednesday and I am hoping to get some good advice.


Posts: 29 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Philadelphia
ky_197220
♀ Member
Member # 24728
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, July 19th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the advice. I will check those out.

The thing that I realize though is I don't think he will ever face his issues or admit he has them. That realization has made today really tough because I know what I have to do and I was really hoping for an R. I think he has been playing both sides of the fence with OW and me. Now I also find out he has met an old high school girlfriend for lunch once or twice.

Is there any hope for someone who is SA with abuse issues? Was it hard for your spouse to admit their problem?


BS with beautiful b/g twins

Status - happily divorced.


Posts: 156 | Registered: Jul 2009
1 day at a time
♀ New Member
Member # 24787
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, July 19th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

According to both of our counselors, there is hope for someone who is SA with abuse issues. In fact, I think most SAs have a history of abuse of some kind.

I had previously had suspicion of some sexual dysfunction (never suspected affairs though) in my WH but he did not admit to or face any of his issues until after he started counseling which was about 6 weeks after I found out about his affair. Is your WH in counseling? Mine refused to go initally but went for the sake of my son who was taking our separation very hard. It took one visit for the counselor to recognize that my husband had some pretty big issues and she asked him to return alone. He has been in counseling since October on and off, but steadily since May. It was in May that he finally admitted that he was abused as a child and also admitted that he has little or no control over his sexual acting out. He has just been referred to Sexaholics anonymous.

Unfortunately, even though my WH admits to his problems, he is still continuing to act out. I don't think he's hit his "bottom" yet, which is what his IC thinks he needs to do before he is truly ready for recovery.

If your WH is not in counseling, I think that is the first step.


Posts: 29 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Philadelphia
flowermom
♀ Member
Member # 23950
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, July 19th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is quite an exclusive club. I have read so many posts that I could have written myself. This is so sad- we think our lives and problems are unique and then we get shoved into a world we never knew existed. We are betrayed, hurt, confused and angry. The raw emotionality diminishes over time, we forgive and unfortunately for most of us, the cycle repeats itself. The imperfection in those we love is beyond our grasp. Our vulnerability is frightening. The very people who were supposed to love and cherish us are abusing us emotionally, sexually and spiritually. For our own protection, we wall ourselves off, and are forced to choose ourselves over our partner. For most of us, this is new territory. We learn, we heal. Never will we be caught again. We plan, for it will probably come back harder and meaner than ever. For those who are making it- you have beaten the odds, and life is better than before. For the rest of us, we plan and increase our security. Until its over.


Me-BS WHSA, 3 wonderful kids, all grown.
Denial is not just a river in Egypt

Posts: 570 | Registered: May 2009 | From: South
1 day at a time
♀ New Member
Member # 24787
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, July 19th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Part of what has given me my new found strength has been finding others out there who are in my situation. I have read so many posts that describe bits and pieces of my life. While it is very sad knowing there are so many emotionally and sexually dysfunctional people out there, it is comforting to know there is a place to go for those of us who have woken up and found ourselves in this situation.

Posts: 29 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Philadelphia
ky_197220
♀ Member
Member # 24728
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, July 19th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He went to one MC session with me. He totally has a wall up and didn't really admit to anything. It was hard enough to get him to admit to OW. Who knows if he will show up again for MC and I am committed to doing 180 for my own sanity at this time so I am not reminding him.

To be honest I'm not sure if I even have the strength to deal with this and I'm so disgusted by his actions sexual and non-sexual. I love him very much but I am so damaged by the way I have been treated the last year or so by him. I have not been treated with any love by him. I am ready to file for D until I start thinking of the kids and the darn fact that I do love him.

Why and how were you able to stay?


BS with beautiful b/g twins

Status - happily divorced.


Posts: 156 | Registered: Jul 2009
1 day at a time
♀ New Member
Member # 24787
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, July 19th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I'm not sure if I am staying or not. Temporarily, at least, I believe we are going to separate. I have had a horrible year of emotional abuse.

After I found about the A, I tried to do everything possible to save my marriage. Like you, every time I thought about my kids, I just wanted to cry. It made me so sad.

According to IC, WH really just began therapy in May (in reality it was Oct). She says this because she feels that is when he really started to crack. Up until that time, he was still hiding a lot of things.

I just don't think a person can be married to a SA who is not truly willing to seek recovery. My SAWH is in therapy for several different things at once and right now he is focusing on his childhood sexual abuse. Unfortunately, he is still sexually acting out and even though he has now been to two SA group meetings, I don't think he is going to take any real steps towards SA recovery.

So, I am left with a difficult decision that is becoming easier since joining this board. I am going to choose to not have any relationship with my WH until he shows some signs of recovery. My WH still has a relationship with OW and I can no longer allow myself to be a part of that. I am waiting for our joint counseling on Wednesday to see what our ICs think is the best way to proceed. I want their opinions on whether they think my WH is stable enough to be able to share custody of our children. He is a complete emotional and psychological wreck. Although I feel absolutely terrible for what happened to him as a child, I can no longer tolerate the abuse he is perpetrating on me and our children.

If you would like to R with your WH, I would strongly suggest to at least give counseling a try. But I think that MC is pretty useless for you at this time. You both would benefit greater from IC first. I have heard this from my own counselor as well as read it on a number of posts on this website and that seems to be the general consensus. You must fix "you" before you can fix "we". If your husband refuses this, you should really consider it just for yourself.


Posts: 29 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Philadelphia
ky_197220
♀ Member
Member # 24728
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, July 19th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1 day at a time- Thanks for sharing and your insight. SI has been a great resource to not feeling so alone. I agree that IC would be better but I don't see it happening for him at this point. I had started it before D-Day because I was very depressed, angry and anxious and didn't know what was wrong with me. (Now it's a little clearer.)

Doing what is best for the kids is everything. I know none of this is my fault but I feel a sense of guilt when I look at my babies that I chose this person to be their father since there is a real possibility he might chose not to have any involvement with them. I feel like I failed them in someway.


BS with beautiful b/g twins

Status - happily divorced.


Posts: 156 | Registered: Jul 2009
1 day at a time
♀ New Member
Member # 24787
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, July 19th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can actually feel your pain while reading your words because I feel the same pain myself. Pain, confusion, anger, frustration, you name it. It's a constant roller coaster of emotions. It is so hard to try to go about "normal" daily living without the situation affecting you and your family. My children have been so negatively impacted by this. Whereas I used to want to remain in the relationship for the sake of the children, I am now beginning to see that it would probably be best to end the relationship for the sake of the kids. This is a very unhealthy way to live for all of us right now. We have the added impact of living in a small community and the OW lives only 2 blocks away. The entire neighborhood knows the situation and my older son has had to hear things from his friends about his father and the OW.

I just found out yesterday that my WH took the OWs kids to a baseball game last Saturday instead of taking his own children. He got the tickets at his SA meeting. Obviously, he learned nothing while there. He told me he was going with a male friend of his, but instead he took her 3 kids and didn't come home until the middle of the night. He told me he and his buddy stopped for a few beers. If our children found this out they would be devastated and there is great likelihood that they will find out because of the closeness of the neighborhood. Hearing this information completely broke my heart. Not for myself but for my kids. I now think my WH is not worthy of our children. They deserve better than him.

I think the only way my situation can improve at this point is for me to end things. I just can't be a part of this anymore. I have half-heartedly tried to end things in the past and I always have taken him back telling myself that he is in counseling and trying to get help. But he is obviously not ready and may never be ready to take the necessary steps for recovery.

I need to concentrate on the health and well-being of myself and my children and stop living a life of constant worrying about where WH is and who he is with and what he is doing. It's just way too stressful.


Posts: 29 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Philadelphia
Eternaloptimist
♀ Member
Member # 15029
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, July 19th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm still on holiday but logged in and read many, many posts. I'm sorry to see so many newcomers -- sorry that you need to be here, but glad that you found us. As usual, 7yrs, JustWow, 1Forward, NA and others have offered their blend of wisdom and compassion -- to all the newcomers, these women are an incredible resource. Please take their advice to heart and you'll find yourself further along the path to healing than you thought you could ever be.

To answer KY's question about how we can stay: I don't think I could if my husband wasn't in recovery. I was lucky ( ) in the sense that my husband confessed his SA to me about four months AFTER he had already found an SA counsellor and been seriously examining his life and actions. So he already had his recovery under way, which made his promises of "change" a whole lot more credible.
I also have three kids...and I was seeing changes that, although I confess the SA stuff still trips me up when I think of it, made him the husband I had always wanted. He had been so emotionally detached...more and more as years went on. Now he's "there" with us. Not just physically, but emotionally. We still struggle about things. He still has trouble dealing with his anxiety and hasn't learned very well how to replace his old "acting out" behaviours with healthier coping skills...but he's trying hard.
I still have a lot of trouble with intimacy with him. But we're working with an MC who deals with SA so that's looking better, too.


Me: BS
Him: WS, SA
Married: 12 years
Three kids: 9-year-old D, 7-year-old S, 5-year-old D
D-Day #1: December 11, 2006 (LTA)
D-Day #2: June 17, 2007 (found out about SA)

Posts: 656 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Toronto
whatnowaz
♀ Member
Member # 24543
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, July 19th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1 Day and KY_ sorry I chose to abbreviate....I feel so sad for both of you, and yet I am in the same exact boat! I wonder everyday..."Am I just really, really strong, or very weak?" I dont know how I have stayed all of these years, except the fact that I love my children and him. I know exact the pain you are in and wish so much I had good advice. My WH does such a good job of masking it all, going on like everything is just fine and we are this one big happy family. Yes, he's in IC but, I just dont have much hope that after 16 years of this, that he CAN change. I really feel one day I will walk away...maybe when my kids are older???


ME(BS)-33
HIM(WH)SA(not officially Dx)-41
Married 8 years
together 15
D-day too many to remember
most recent 6-16-09
kids 4,12,14

They say "Love conquers all" Well, I am afraid they are WRONG!


Posts: 174 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: arizona
watchingU
♀ Member
Member # 22144
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, July 20th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I married my H when I was 17. I was just a kid and didn't know squat about life. Found out quickly that his family had major abuse, molestation and criminal issues. Also found out within 1 month that I was pregnant. By the time my DD was born, I knew I was trapped. I had no family to support me getting out. But the reason I stayed was to have total control over my DD life/whereabouts. I KNEW she would be molested if WH family had any visitation without me being there. Today, at age 38 she says that the emotional abuse of her dad ignoring her all these years took a big toll on her (his secret life left she and I with not much attention from him. I just thought he was emotionally backward.) BUT, she says she knows that if I had divorced him, her life would definitely been much worse. I was able to provide a safe and secure home for her. She has seen the effects of this abuse and molestation on her paternal cousins etc. As of today, she has no contact whatsoever with her paternal family. ALL of them (and there are a lot of them) have severe addiction, abuse and criminal issues. So sometimes, divorcing for the sake of the kids is not a good idea either. You have to take your personal situation into consideration.


BW me 60(naive until 3/30/07 Dday)
WH 60(PA w/SIL PA with neighbor, 100's of EAs,chat rooms, M 1969
Multiple Ddays over the past 4 yrs (about prior infidelities, not new ones) My Gut says WH Has cheated thruout M

Posts: 520 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: South
1 day at a time
♀ New Member
Member # 24787
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, July 20th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My IC said something to me last week that is similar to what
Watching U
said. She said my husband is going to do the things he does whether he lives in the home or not. So I have to decide whether it is better for the kids to have him around and doing these things or to not have him around. Either way, his behavior is not going to change unless he wants it to.

My biggest issue right now is that I do not feel he is stable enough to have a relationship with my children. Yes, part of me is bitter about his relationship with the OW and her children. But, he has shown time and time again that our children's feelings are pretty irrelevant to him. He has parked in front of OWs house when he knows I have to drive right by there when I pick up the kids from school. WTF does he expect his kids to think??? They immediately recognized it and they know OWs house because they know her and her kids. Kids from her street have text messaged my son saying that his dad is in the house with her. It's awful. He has repeatedly told my kids that he is moving out and moving on with OW. Yet, a few days later he acts like it never happened (bipolar)to them. And to me, he acts like it meant nothing, just his craziness talking, he loves me, blah, blah, blah.

I have decided that I need to end this relationship and now he wants 50% custody.

Do I have a right to ask his IC and my IC (in joint meeting on Wed) whether they think he should have them 50% of the time. I think his IC knows better than anyone what his frame of mind is and I know from speaking with her that she is concerned about his actions.


Posts: 29 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Philadelphia
whatnowaz
♀ Member
Member # 24543
Default  Posted: 1:27 PM, July 20th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1 Day at a time~ Im so sorry you and the ids have to go through this. It's so sad when a WS puts his own needs before his children. I havent experienced that so much. I mean all SA put their own addiction before everyon and their feelings. But, for him to not care if your kids see him at OW house...that is just so sad. Yeah, the truth is all of us have a little bit of a different story, although very similar. You have to do whats best for you and the kids, for your own personal situation. I just wish you the best. Im going out today to buy "mending a shattered heart" I think that is the name. I will scroll through my PM's to see.


ME(BS)-33
HIM(WH)SA(not officially Dx)-41
Married 8 years
together 15
D-day too many to remember
most recent 6-16-09
kids 4,12,14

They say "Love conquers all" Well, I am afraid they are WRONG!


Posts: 174 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: arizona
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, July 20th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1 day at a time
Do I have a right to ask his IC and my IC (in joint meeting on Wed) whether they think he should have them 50% of the time. I think his IC knows better than anyone what his frame of mind is and I know from speaking with her that she is concerned about his actions.
Of course you have the right to ask. I don't know if they can help you. I don't know what the law is where you live. I don't know if mental healthy problems are grounds for asking for sole custody and/or supervised visits. You might be better off asking a divorce lawyer.

whatnowaz


Im going out today to buy "mending a shattered heart" I think that is the name.
Yes, it is "Mending a Shattered Heart" by Stefanie Carnes, however, you may want to call bookstores and verify they carry it before you go looking for it. Women are having a hard time finding it locally. Most have had to order it from Amazon or Gentle Path Press.


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
flowermom
♀ Member
Member # 23950
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, July 20th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So many of us are in this boat- I feel like I have found a thousand friends. I have learned so much, about SA and its effects on people. Because of my experiences here, I am now pointed in a direction that is healthy for me, and will ultimately help me achieve happiness and peace.
I learned
This is not my fault
SA's do not change unless they accept fully their problems and admit them. Even with the acceptance, there is a good chance they will not stay sober. Recovery is never finished, but many are able to achieve long lasting freedom from acting out. BUT THEY MUST ACCEPT THEIR PROBLEMS. lack of acceptance, unwillingness to dig deep into their problems,or refusing to get with a program is the recipe for divorce. They will act out again. We are conditioned to stick with these people even at great risk to ourselves. The risk of physical violence, emotional and verbal abuse, and STD's is very high. Yet, we stay. By the time we realize what is happening, much of our strength has been eroded by the constant upset and abuse of our SA spouses. Digging into a well of strength that has run almost dry is not going to yield much. That is why this group is so important. We give each other strength to do what we must.


Me-BS WHSA, 3 wonderful kids, all grown.
Denial is not just a river in Egypt

Posts: 570 | Registered: May 2009 | From: South
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
DOH!  Posted: 6:30 PM, July 20th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think I've officially lost my mind.

I'm giving some serious thought to trying to get a bachelor's degree so that I can get a master's degree... so that I can become a counselor and specialize in treating wives of SAs.

I didn't go to a 4 year college. When I was 29 I went back to school and got an Associate of Applied Science degree in graphic design. So I'd be starting at zero going for a BA.

I'm almost 42 years old. I've got a 5 year old. We're flat broke.

Yep, I've lost my mind. Somebody slap me.


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
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