Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: iknowiwillbeok (43219)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Spouses/Partners of Sex Addicts 4
TooManyYears
♀ Member
Member # 26108
Default  Posted: 5:07 AM, January 12th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, I haven't been here for a few weeks (lots of personal drama related to my FOO and boundaries I am trying to set with them; basically boils down to probably no contact for the time being, as they can't respect my boundaries).

Things are going slightly better at home, but I find myself really confused sometimes, which I suppose is natural considering all the upheaval and changes in our lives since September. My H has only had 2 relapses (that I am aware of) and seems to be working his 12 step program and therapy. He has a sponsor and is reaching out to the other guys.

His sponsor and wife are very active in Recovering Couples Anonymous, and my H thought it would be a great idea for the 2 of us. We went to a meeting on Saturday night, and I was very overwhelmed. He was pretty comfortable with the 12 step format and 3 guys from his group were there with their wives. All the other spouses seemed comfortable and in their own recoveries. Me, I was a basket case. I couldn't talk, ended up feeling intimidated, and crying. I just felt so out of place. I have never been to a 12 step meeting (no cosa in my area) and most of the other spouses/partners were in recovery for their own addictions or in groups related to their spouses addictions (al-anon, etc).

I am going to try this again, but as bad as that sounds, I sometimes feel like we are going in different directions. He is pouring lots of time and energy into recovery. I am seeing a therapist every other week, and supposed to start a therapy group in a couple of weeks. However, I am dealing with a bunch of FOO crap and we are still dealing with legal stuff. I have been trying to sleep (HA!), exercise, and take bubble baths. I just feel like my whole life is falling apart. He is getting better and things are still crappy for me. He tries to be supportive about all the stress, but how can he possibly understand all that I feel like I am carrying?

In some odd dysfunctional way (yes, I know it sounds wrong to even say this), it was easier to just maintain status quo in all my relationships, and not make these changes. It wasn't that I was happy, because I was not, but it was easier and familiar. Make sense? I know that if I persevere eventually I will be happier and have less stress, but in the meantime, pushing through all this crap is tough.

I guess it was just a vent. Oh, and also wondering if any of you have done RCA?


Me- 40
H, rSA- 46
2 young adult children
Married 21 years
Last D-day 9/19/09 (Many before this)

Posts: 496 | Registered: Nov 2009
PixieDust
♀ Member
Member # 21842
Default  Posted: 8:57 PM, January 13th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well we have our first counseling appointment next week. WH hasnt done anything else except set up that appointment. He went to 1 SAA meeting before Christmas, and thats it. :(

One positive thing, though... I mentioned once that at some point in order for us to move past this, he is going to have share with me all the things he has kept from me over the years. And this time, instead of denying that there WAS anything else, he just said..."I know." that was a week or 2 ago. This evening, I mentioned it to him again, that he would have to come clean on all things he hadnt told me, and that he and his CSAT could decide when to have the disclosure session. And once again, he agreed that it would have to happen. :) So I feel its a good sign that even if he cant share with me those things right now, just admitting that there are things to share, it a huge step for him.

Pixiedust

[This message edited by PixieDust at 8:58 PM, January 13th (Wednesday)]


Me(38): FWW/BW
Him(33): FBH/WH
Married: 6 years
DD(2), DS (8mo)DS in heaven
Status: Learning a bunch of new letters: SA, SAA, CSAT and COSA. How fun.

Posts: 150 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Texas
scaredyKat
♀ Member
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, January 13th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey TooMany, I am sorry that you are here. I haven't yet been to a "couples" meeting, but I go REGULARLY to my s-anon meeting. If there isn't a COSA look for S-anon, the principles are the same. They have literally saved my sanity. The "sisters" I have there are fast friends. You may feel more comfortable in that setting. There are also online meetings that you can attend if distance is a problem.

It is a tough road, this. We are trauma victims, not necessarily co-addicts. And many people, therapists, spouses and lots of others, just don't GET that.


Me-BS-59
HIM-SAFWH-63
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 2928 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
twokids
♀ Member
Member # 23266
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, January 15th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TMY -thanks for sharing about your experience with a couples meeting. I'm sorry it was so rough for you, and I think you showed a lot of courage to attend in the first place.

We have our first one tonight. I'm nervous but have promised myself it's just one hour and if things don't work out we needn't go back.


Me: BS, 56
Him: WH, 50
5+ DDAYS; 10+ OW
Two sons, 16 & 18
M 19 yrs - detaching to divorce
In-house Separation since 7/2012

Posts: 393 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: California
ArialRose
♀ Member
Member # 24735
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, January 15th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am new to this topic. Several people in another post of mine suggested my FWS may be SA. I did some research and at this point do not see it. He did look at porn and craigslist personals but when he looked at the personals, he seemed to be looking at all of them even the ones that had nothing to do with men.
I am not trying to defend him but that is how I saw it, like being curious...I too have looked at them for the same reason.

I have a key logger and have not seen any inappropriate browsing (as defined by me and communicated to him) in a month or two, after I told him I was uncomfortable with it (had to tell him twice).

Prior to A we had very infrequent sexual contact(months at a time without). I relied on self pleasure to replace it. During that time, I was not interested in sex with him for various reasons and he not with me as he was detaching form our M and intimacy-we both were.

My questions are-how is preoccupation with sex defined? Excessive masturbation? After A we engaged in HB...usually me initiating.

I am still preoccupied with sex and have engaged in self pleasure on a regular basis. He does not seem as interested in the same frequency as I and I will take matters in my own hands so to speak.

This is not something we share and I have never considered going outside of our M to obtain sex. Is my self stimulation interfering with my sexual relationship with my FWS....I don't know. Would it be better if I refrained until he was willing? Would my inability/unwillingness to refrain from self stimulation indicate I am SA?

I know this forum is for Spouses/Partners of Sex Addicts but I am worried I may be the one that is a SA instead of FWS. Any thoughts or help is appreciated.



ArialRose-BS
in our 40's
M 28 years, together 30 years
3 DSs (adult)
D-Day: 3/23/09, Major TT 2/10/10 5/24/10,10/30/10, & 12/12/10.
Inappropriate online conversations on my part- 10/2011

FOR FUCKS SAKE!


Posts: 2165 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: arialrose
lost2chaos
♀ Member
Member # 25794
Default  Posted: 3:58 PM, January 15th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello all!

I am finally coming up for air around here. We got through Christmas, got our house ready for rentors, got packed, moved and moved to a new city. The last 2 weeks, I have battled surgery, sickness and adjusting everyone in the house into new routines and school (5 previously homeschooled kids were put into public school and mom and dad returned to school as well).

On Christmas Eve, I was forced to Plan B WH, or our version of the 180. While he's maintained sobriety, he had, imo, become a dry drunk. He was sober but he was no working for recovery and consequently was not working on R either.

I disengaged. Probably the hardest thing I have ever done. I'm truly not co-dependent. But, I LOVE this man. I love deeply. Not expressing that love was devestating for me. But, I did it anyway.

Through all of this, we had 3 conversations where he made nasty accusations against me and I refused to rise to the battle. Each time, I would clearly and calmly explain my position, my desire for true intimacy and my boundary that I will not engage in this M nor intimacy alone any longer. Each time, he swore he got it. But, his behaviors remained the same.

This last weekend, he said he got it. And, his behaviors changed somewhat. He did at least quit making vile accusations against me and start showing me some consideration and respect again. On Tuesday, we had another hashing out (he seems to be found of these) and he seems to have trully gotten it this time.

I say seems because well....3 days is nothing especially in this journey. But, for the last 3 days he has been fully engaged and actively seeking intimacy with me. After feeling so agonizingly alone and abandoned in the last month, I find myself actually WANTING to come home and spend time with him.

He had stopped his 12 step in December. Sadly, his reasons were legit. We were in the process of moving. The membership of the group became extremely weak on the sobriety segment and WH actually became the senior member by sobriety dates...um, note the date of d-day in my signature, 3 months sobriety and the senior member bothered even him. But, ultimately, it was the disturbing behaviors of another group member that WH could not take any longer. A particular member began struggling to maintain 24 hours of sobriety and thus his own sponsor began requiring him to check in with other group members daily. After a week of having to listen to this man relate to WH about all the lust he was feeling for girls the same age as our own pre-teen dd, WH had enough.

He tried online but didn't find he was participating nor taking anything from the meetings. Supposedly, he has identified a group in our new city and will be attending again next Saturday. I'm waiting to see that happen. Additionally, he has supposedly begun seeking out IC through our university mental health program. Again, I'll believe it when I see it.

However, it does appear that in the last week, he has begun to move out of the sidetracked place he let himself go and might be heading back to true recovery again. Time will tell. But, I'll take wanting to be around him again for the moment. That alone is a HUGE step for us now.

As for myself, I'm back in college full-time, pre-med. I've navigated issues with several of my children's schooling. One child is now fully situated. The others now have the wheels in motion at least, and I'll continue to follow up. I'm learning how to be a student again. And, we're close to securing a tenant for our previous home so we can close that chapter and move forward.

What is most amazing to me now is that I finally feel free. For the last several months, I felt trapped in my house. Even there I did not feel safe because I was constantly reminded of what he had done. But, leaving my house was pure torture. I know moving has not taken away everything I have to face and heal from. But, I finally feel in control of myself again. I feel like I can say when and where I face these issues, rather than constantly being attacked when I didn't feel safe nor strong in facing things.

I know that I am a strong and capable woman again. And, I'm focusing on taking care of ME and my children.

Now, if I could just find a SA spousal support group in this city, I'd be set. I've searched everything I know and I've run out of ideas. I cannot find anything other than Celebrate Recovery. And, I'm just not convinced that CR is the right fit for my needs. I can find Al-Anon and I know that's not a good fit. It was bad enough to watch jaws drop when I spoke in my SA spousal support group. I just don't feel comfortable nor safe attending a support group where NO ONE is going to understand what I've experienced.

Any ideas on where and how to find a support group geared towards SA that I haven't already tried? Tried SA, SAA, COSA and a couple of websites for SA specifically but cannot find anything.


BW33, fWH33 (alongroadback),and 8 children.
D-day#1 9/23/09 D-day#2 10/3/09
Sobriety 9/23, R-1/12/10 the work begins...??

Posts: 286 | Registered: Oct 2009
JustWow
♀ Member
Member # 19636
Default  Posted: 6:06 AM, January 17th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lost2chaos

Any ideas on where and how to find a support group geared towards SA that I haven't already tried? Tried SA, SAA, COSA and a couple of websites for SA specifically but cannot find anything.

How about through a CSAT? We're starting in a couple's group, and I'm starting in a partner's group in March through my H's CSAT. It isn't free or cheap for that matter, but it is cheaper than D attorney's or the wear and tear on the soul of doing nothing?


BW - Reconciling

edited for typos (I always have to!)


Posts: 3557 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Midwest
2br02b
♀ Member
Member # 19664
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, January 17th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TooManyYears,
You asked:
wondering if any of you have done RCA?

My husband and I did RCA and got our 1 year chip. It did help with communication and can be a valuable resource. My only problem with it is that I am not in "recovery". I have nothing to recover from, I need to heal.

lost2chaos,

Any ideas on where and how to find a support group geared towards SA that I haven't already tried? Tried SA, SAA, COSA and a couple of websites for SA specifically but cannot find anything.


You might look into the Partner's Workshop at wwww.recoverynation.com. They also have a couples workshop. It is health based recovery so there's no co-addict or co-dependent label.


Me 51
Him 53 (and SA)
D-Day#1 9/19/1981
D-Day#2 11/23/2008
D-Day#3 - 6/6/09 (Actually D-Day!) - full disclosure given.
Forgiveness - 8/30/09
Married 29 years
2 adult children
Reconciling
2BR02B - that is the question.

Posts: 81 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Phoenix, AZ
Stop
♂ Member
Member # 23564
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, January 19th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do any of you have any insight about the incidence of WS, addict, acting out turning into an emotional affair?

Does this change the game? If it has happened to you, how did you deal with it?

My WW is into phone sex with several people, she habituates a porn site, (this is where it all started about 1 yr ago)and maintains contact with several on the internet. Web cam and all the tools. She has met at least two of them the one that she meets the most is the one that seems to be emotional but idk about the others. She is also a gambling addict so some of her trips are to casinos but I don't really know who she meets, if any , on those trips.

The primary one is married. He early on expressed that he intended to stay married to his wife. He travels in his work and sends her plane tickets to join him.

When confronted she flat lies in the face of the evidence, has no apparent shame,denies any association with these guys even in the face of undeniability, blames me for anything and everything that constitutes bad behavior, and becomes verbally abusive when questioned. I'm sure many of you know the drill.

I have been working on me for several months and really quit spying on her but sometimes her behavior and information she accidentally exposes cannot be ignored.

Your thoughts?


Me: Recovering codependent BH
Her: Long term gambling addict, unadmitted,unrepentant,practicing sex addict.
I didn't cause it, I can't control it, I can't fix it.
"Healing starts when you start taking care of yourself and let go of

Posts: 90 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: Midwest
renee21
♀ Member
Member # 27088
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, January 19th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Too Many,

My WH first A was LTA and it was both PA and EA...very much so. There is an OC as a result of that relationship. Can a SA have an EA...I think they can but I also think that they may even act outside of the M and the EA.

I am still in the learning process of understanding his SA...so hopefully one of the ladies here can offer more advice...


BW(me) 36
WH-36 SA
Three kids 18, 16 and 9
Married 18 years.
Multiple D-Days, multiple OW and an OC
12/19/03,5/13/2004,12/5/2009, 2/20/2014
I am no longer a guest on the Jerry Springer Show.

Posts: 1257 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Florida
JustWow
♀ Member
Member # 19636
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, January 19th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H concocted emotional ties to justify his sexual behavior, to normalize it, to make himself believe he was "normal". Was it truly emotional? I really don't think so. He had a lot harder time dealing with his loss of his fake self-image than he did with the loss of the OW. He never shed a tear over her.


BW - Reconciling

edited for typos (I always have to!)


Posts: 3557 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Midwest
renee21
♀ Member
Member # 27088
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, January 19th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A question...because they are SA...are we supposed to accept it if they have a relapse and equate it to the addiction?

I have to admit I am scared he will fall off the wagon and do it again....my dad was an alcoholic and he fell off the wagon alot...


BW(me) 36
WH-36 SA
Three kids 18, 16 and 9
Married 18 years.
Multiple D-Days, multiple OW and an OC
12/19/03,5/13/2004,12/5/2009, 2/20/2014
I am no longer a guest on the Jerry Springer Show.

Posts: 1257 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Florida
JustWow
♀ Member
Member # 19636
Default  Posted: 3:10 PM, January 19th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Relapses are NOT a foregone conclusion, and even if they were, it does not mean YOU have to accept them.

Since H has been with his CSAT (10 months now) he has been sober, with no lapses, relapses, slips or whatever else you want to call them. Is that forever? No. Does it prove anything? Not necessarily.

It proves he can be sober if he wants to, I guess. And it shows he can be sober through one of the most stressful periods of his life (nothing like getting a cancer diagnosis in the middle of infidelity recovery and trying to achieve sexual sobriety).

You need to decide what is healthy and acceptable FOR YOU. If he cannot manage his recovery well enough for you to have a healthy relationship with him, then by no means do you have to accept it.

Set your own boundaries, don't let anyone else tell you what they should or should not be.


BW - Reconciling

edited for typos (I always have to!)


Posts: 3557 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Midwest
IRN2006
♀ Member
Member # 23717
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, January 19th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A question...because they are SA...are we supposed to accept it if they have a relapse and equate it to the addiction?

You don't have to accept it if you don't want to.

I don't have boundaries for slips because my husband never has had one, yet. He'll be sober for 3 years this spring. I imagine some day he likely will (we hopefully have 45-50 years of life left), and we'll handle that when we get there.

As for relapse, which I define as a return to daily acting out or escalation of the addiction, the marriage is Done. As in, I file the next day I find out about the relapse.

I love my husband, but one recovery is enough for me in this lifetime. I don't have it in me for another one. Also for some reason, I personally have very black and white thinking about addiction.

My husband is aware of my boundary.

[This message edited by IRN2006 at 3:19 PM, January 19th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 1295 | Registered: Apr 2009
ScribblingMum
♀ Member
Member # 20097
Default  Posted: 12:53 AM, January 20th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lost,

There ARE S-Anon phone meetings if you can't find any local meetings...

Also, IF I couldn't find anything else, I'd attend Al-Anon as ONE of your resources for support. Eventually, you might find others who are dealing w/ their spouse's SA--espec. if there are no local SA/S-anon type meetings in your area. Once you get a sponsor & get to know others, you'd be surprised at the similarities of any addiction...

MOSTLY, any 12 Step Anon helps you learn to let go/accept Reality/It IS what it IS, work on yourself/help you not obsess on the addict, etc. I'd really give it a shot...:)

Also, you can get a long-distance phone sponsor...try & attend S-anon conferences in different cities, etc...maybe call their central office for more info--have hope!

[This message edited by ScribblingMum at 12:55 AM, January 20th (Wednesday)]


~ScribblingMum~
D-D 1: 12/23/06 - Porn (dd bust him on-line)
D-D 2: 4-25-08 - Massage P.'s(new act. in pretend recov.)
D-D 3:9-9-08 Caught call m. girl
D-Day 4: 6/30/09 -: free MP g.f./prost.
D-Day 5: 1-10-10: new mp prost's.
~DONE!


Posts: 1529 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: S .CALIF.
renee21
♀ Member
Member # 27088
Default  Posted: 7:21 AM, January 20th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for the responses...I did write up a list of boundaries and consequences for him yesterday. He said he was okay with any boundary I gave him and they were very much like the ones that they discuss in his SA group meeting. So he seems to understand them. I do believe he is a SA but right now my heart just can't accept that it was the addiction that drove him to sleep with someone 4 times. She was in our home and he slept with her here....it stopped for a month and they found some place else to have sex three other times....to me that is premeditated...not just something took over me and the opportunity was there....I just can't wrap my mind around it...

I go to my first IC session today and hopefully it will prove to be helpful because I feel so much anger and pain right now it hurts to breathe. I flipped out of him last night when I found out how long the thing went on...she was in our house around my children for that long.....I screamed and cried, smashed all the stuff on the kitchen bar. I told him that I hate him and her. I told him he had better have bail money ready because if I see her, she is done. I went completely insane last night.

At this point I don't even know if I want to give him a chance to prove he can be sober. I am so destroyed.


BW(me) 36
WH-36 SA
Three kids 18, 16 and 9
Married 18 years.
Multiple D-Days, multiple OW and an OC
12/19/03,5/13/2004,12/5/2009, 2/20/2014
I am no longer a guest on the Jerry Springer Show.

Posts: 1257 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Florida
JustWow
♀ Member
Member # 19636
Default  Posted: 11:06 AM, January 20th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

renee-

SA isn't about only acting on impulse - many SA's have an acting out "ritual", where the whole process is about getting their fix. Think of an alcoholic, they plan and look for opportunites to drink, plan for contingencies when it is going to be difficult to drink openly to drink on the QT. Being an addict does not necessarily mean impulsive, sometimes these folks are incredibly deliberate in planning to get their next fix.

Have you read any of Patrick Carnes' SA books? They may help you to see better what SA is and what it isn't.

-JW


BW - Reconciling

edited for typos (I always have to!)


Posts: 3557 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Midwest
IRN2006
♀ Member
Member # 23717
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, January 20th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Renee-

There are lots of things about my husband self-medicating with sex that I simply couldn't wrap my head around. Starting, with the thing in which he chose to self medicate with. Why sex of all things? Why not drugs, alcohol, workaholism, or gambling? Why choose addiction to self medicate? Why not go out for a jog or do a crossword puzzle.

I'm a self-injurer, so I think I get a little of the urge to act out when you can't deal with emotions. But, even then, I'd never turn to addiction as my poor coping mechanism.

I know this isn't always wildly popular. But I found the most inner peace when I stopped trying to wrap my head around things that I simply could not understand or get. IOW, I simply let go. Because, for me, I found trying to understand was an exercise in wasted energy.

For some reason, I was able to do the loving detachment thing from my husband from the get go. Since my husband's addiction started a decade before we were even dating, I knew this wasn't about me. It was never about trying to hurt me intentionally or unintentionally. I also knew that this was first and foremost my husband's problem and he had to fix it himself and do the work to repair the marriage. (Well, we both have to work on the marriage.)


Posts: 1295 | Registered: Apr 2009
renee21
♀ Member
Member # 27088
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, January 20th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the input....

I just need to learn to let it go and understand I can't understand it...

I think I am a fairly logical person..I analyze and pick apart things for a living...so it's my nature to try to understand...but I have to let this one go...


BW(me) 36
WH-36 SA
Three kids 18, 16 and 9
Married 18 years.
Multiple D-Days, multiple OW and an OC
12/19/03,5/13/2004,12/5/2009, 2/20/2014
I am no longer a guest on the Jerry Springer Show.

Posts: 1257 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Florida
houseofcards09
♂ Member
Member # 26400
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, January 20th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hello...sad to be here, you should know my story. Wife has had 8 affairs in our four and a half years of marriage...the first began two months after we got married during her first deployment in the navy. The affairs happened as such:
- OM #1 (first affair, long term 4.5 years EA and PA. slept with him all of first deployment, stayed in touch through the duration of our marriage, was the last person she slept with when he flew out to meet her on a business trip)
- OM #2 (threatened to tell the everyone on the ship if she did not have sex with him. engaged in both sexual intercourse and oral sex)
- OM #3 (attempted intercourse, wife was not aroused enough for penetration, cried, and ended)
- OM #4 (flirtation underway on second deployment led to sexual intercourse...3 to 5 times)
- OM #5 (had sexual intercourse with him 10 days before leaving for her second deployment, sexual intercourse continued throughout second deployment)
- OM #6 (current coworker, swears to have never reciprocated kissing nor engaged in sexual intercourse, but went down his pants and vice versa. Initial reasoning "being lonely" during her week long business trips. even fooled around with him two days after OM #1 left from visiting her on one of her business trips)
- OM #7 and #8 (random men on deployment, kissing and fondling)

Wife came clean (unwillingly) about OM #1 and #5 shortly after D-Day. Found out about the other six last night. I do not believe she had an EA with anyone other than OM #1. She has maintained NC for a month, I think at this point she's pretty disgusted with him. Spoke with our MC today, she believes my wife is a sex addict. I am beyond crushed. Any words/guidance/literature would be helpful.


Initial D-Day: 11/8/09
Subsequent D-Days: About 6 Big "Oh Shits", can't remember the exact dates

Posts: 59 | Registered: Dec 2009
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.