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Helpful Books for WSes
Bumping for CrushedHim.
This gets bumped because I wanted to add another book.
The Ten Things to Do When Your Life DFalls Apart by Daphne Rose Kingma.
Inpsirational and instructional. Which are they way that good books should be. A good mixture of homilies for self healing for both the WS and the BS.
Bumping for a new member.
What a wonderful thread! This should be a permanent bump on the Wayward side! Any chance of getting this added to the Healing Library so it is always readily available?
Thank you to everyone for the input. I have read some and will add others to my list.
Where did you get audio version, I have major attention issues and have a hard time reading, but have had great luck with audio books. I would love to get this.
Bump for nohonor.
I know that I am not the only WS who has issues with the fights in our marriage. It’s not just arguments over the A but at times, it seems like all disagreements turn into arguments which ten escalate into fights and it seems that they just don’t end until she storms off and I sit there in stony silence wondering what the fuck?
ihurtforher - One thing that I struggle with is that when we have an argument, often times we both get angry and end up saying things that we later regret. I would like to quell these situations before they escalate, but it is difficult when we start to get into an emotion overload.
Well, I found a book recently that promises a way to defuse the situation and turn the fight back into a discussion by encouraging you to deal with the “true underlying” cause of the hurt and anger and fear that these fights reveal about you.
Talk to Me Like I’m Someone You Love: Relationship Repair in a Flash by Nancy Dreyfus.
I’m only one chapter into the book but not unlike other books like 5 love languages, this one too seems to be one of those “aha” books that make sense from the moment that you pick it up. Yesterday as we argued over the Christmas decorations, the advice from chapter one is what allowed me to defuse the situation with ease and get us back on track. Can’t wait to read the whole damn book.
[This message edited by HUFI-PUFI at 12:57 PM, December 17th (Friday)]
Bump for new SIers.
Highly, highly recommend When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron.
It was time to bump this back to the front where it might be read again and the wisdom in it shared once more. BUMP!
I'd like to add a recommendation for new, remorseful WS.
I just finished reading How To Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair by Linda MacDonald.
It's great for those who really don't like to read. Only about 100 pages. A WS doesn't get the impression that the book is trying to psychoanalyze them somehow (which is admittedly why I haven't read some of the other recommendations). It gets straight to the point: THIS is what you need to do to have the best chance of repairing your M. THIS is what your BS needs. THIS is the best way to handle a certain situation.
I found it very helpful because it also lists some "predetermining factors". It listed a few things that it never occurred to me as being such. So it can also be the source of "aha" moments as well.
(Thank you to GeauxTiger for the recommendation. My H saw it on his thread and decided to check it out. )
This book helped me understand myself...how my behaviors stemmed from my irrational thinking and what caused the wrong or what I'd consider in hindsight "insane" thinking...
Power of Now by Ekart Tolle
[This message edited by Nowna at 11:02 AM, March 19th (Saturday)]