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User Topic: Long Term Affair Thread X V I
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, February 10th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

iwantamiracle... That "fixaholic" thing...

Once we have experienced brokenness in our own relationships, we are more likely to convey empathy and compassion toward others in similar situations...

i am standing now, raising my right hand....."i am a fixaholic and i get a fix when i help fix for others...."



[This message edited by trynhard at 12:10 PM, February 10th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 2636 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
brokenheart09
♀ Member
Member # 25338
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, February 10th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH's problem with this site (or anyone I talk to about this) is he thinks we should be able to work out any issues we have without involving other people. He is a pretty private person and believes that any ideas I have about reconciliation are not my own, but someone else's and that I don't have a thought or opinion of my own. It's very frustrating because sometimes I don't have a solid thought or opinion about something and I need someone else to bounce things off of and help me to sort things out. He takes personal offense to it and then shuts down not listening to anything I have to say after that.

I don't feel like he is doing everything he can to make things better. Whenever I express a sadness or question, he says he feels like I am judging him and he throws anything I did wrong in my past back in my face! Even things that didn't involve him, but he knows because I *used* to share everything with him (pretty painful things). I'm sick of being attacked when I have a bad day and I express that to him. I'm sick of having to be the one who "talks him down" and makes up with him even though I was the one who had the initial issue with him. It has been this way our whole relationship and I just don't think he knows how to really be sorry for anything....

I feel very much like I am going through the motions of life, but my soul is dying. I miss real love and intimacy and right now, he repulses me so much that I don't even want it from him.

[This message edited by brokenheart09 at 12:24 PM, February 10th (Wednesday)]


Me BS (33)
Him WH (35)
5 year LTA
DD:2/Twin sons: 8 months
DDay: 8/22/09 (his) & 9/8/09 (from her)
R: still deciding...

Posts: 78 | Registered: Aug 2009
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, February 10th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

brokenheart09...
WH's problem with this site (or anyone I talk to about this) is he thinks we should be able to work out any issues we have without involving other people.

Your H is wrong... Period. My wife thought the same... It is common for Waywards to think this. He has huge issues. HUGE! His disposition is to CHEAT. You cannot control what he does or does not do.

I don't feel like he is doing everything he can to make things better.
Of course you don't.. because he is not! He has done horrible things and if cannot see what all he has done… it is a lost cause.

soul is dying
It is hard for me to read this and I tear up. You feel what you feel…

It really is up to YOU brokenheart... You are not in a healthy relationship. You guys need HELP because you do not know how to talk to each other without attacking, accusing, criticizing, disrespecting... each other. How are you ever going to get that loving feeling back and live happy if you cannot talk to each other?

It is ok to take control of your life… take some risk right now in life! Make some new boundaries to make yourself happy!!! I will only be married to someone who affirms me, who believes in marriage, who spends quality time with me, who COMMUNICATES and LISTENs easily and well, who approaches Conflict constructively as a learning experience, mutually satisfying sexual relationship, open to change, COMMITMENT AND FAITHFULNESS, a sense of play and humor, deep sense of TRUST, have friends that support marriage, able to forgive… Make sure he know everyone of these new boundaries and if not… the have the courage to seek happiness!

Have the courage to tell him that both of you need to learn new ways to achieve these boundaries…. THAT MEANS HELP!

I took control of my life. I told my wife I was going to IC... and wanted her to get help too but that is her decision. I told my wife I wanted to sign up to Rertrouville to help us.. she said no at first... I said I needed help to recover from this. I needed the help. She said Ok.. and it was a life changing experience for us.

This is from my my Journal about the Saturday... 11 months after dday...

August 2009 -T and I are at Retrouvaille in August 2009 at the weekend retreat. It was a very moving, emotional day. I knew T was not really interested in going and my pain was still very high, everyday. I wanted her to say so much to me but it was never enough. (she never)There was never enough grief, never enough hurt, never enough sorrow. Even though I made a decision to forgive, I was far from it. I wanted this to be the beginning but feared our end was near. As we came into our room, my anger and need to say some very hurtful things entered my mind. I started to give her more of my pain when all the sudden a bird flew into the window. It made a tremendous crash. At that very moment, I knew I must stop, it was time to stop. The Birds are angles.

Even after all the relationship training I've had... it's not easy!
The story of the bird is for another time...

[This message edited by trynhard at 1:31 PM, February 10th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 2636 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 1:27 PM, February 10th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

broken.

I think that one of the best things about this place is the fact that you can bounce your thoughts, fears and questions off of others. It helps to hear other ideas about things. It is also a good release to just write your thoughts. It is hard to go through this alone. I know that for a fact.

I do not know how I would have delt with this had my WW not been remorseful about the A. She is very remorseful and ashamed.

Your WH thinks that you should be able to work out these issues without involving others? That is pretty ironic considering his involving OW in your life is a major issue. I too am a private person. He should have done like me and other non wayward spouses. He should have kept his privates, private!

tryn.

The hand in the sand is cool. I did like the dog picture. I felt the same way, but I did not have a lap to sit on. The lost money was not as bad as hearing the winner he-ha, and crow about his betting skills. Of course I have not and would not ever do that to him.

Your raised hand pictures are great. The last one is a little disturbing.

A lion among lions! Thanks.

Booger Bear.

Thank you for those nice words. Between you and tryn I am getting a real ego boost today. I had a bad day yesterday, not A related, so this helps. Are you all prepared for school?

miracle.

I'm not sure if there really is a cure for fixaholics. I thought it sounded good though. If a fixaholic tries to fix herself, would this just be adding to the problem? You get your fix, fixing yourself, so would you be like a dog chasing her tail?

Hugs to the tribe.


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 1:30 PM, February 10th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tryn, the pain of infidelity runs deep because it is something that is a choice. A child doesn’t choose to die. Death is a consequence of life, expected or otherwise. If my H had died, I truly believe I would have grieved greatly, but the thought of him dying and then finding out about MOW would have been the worst, the absolute worst thing to happen in my life and it does fill me with horror at how I would NOT have coped. His death as a faithful husband and all those good qualities I had attributed to him is almost preferable to what he did. I know in that case he would not have wanted to DO it to me. He chose infidelity and MOW over me. And that is so hard to live with. His death would not have caused a complete collapse in self esteem or sexual and body confidence. But I can compare what he did to a death. My GP gave me a leaflet on bereavement when I went to see him a couple of weeks after dday. He said to view it as a death – the loss of my marriage as it was – and to seek counselling to help with the bereavement process.

Getting fired is not personal. In the same way as the killings in The Godfather are not “personal” – it’s business. It might feel personal, the act behind it might be personal, but the bottom line is you were employed on a business level and you would never have been there if you weren’t simply earning a living. Very few of us go to work simply because we enjoy it and would do it anyway even if we weren’t getting paid.

I love your hand in the sand. The great thing about SI (and esp us here in LTA) is that there is always someone to give you a hand!


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, February 10th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Done it again - missed a page!!

I'm always behind.....

Broken, I'll catch up with your posting later. Well, gotta get dinner. BB tmw. Have a nice evening everyone (it's 7.30 here in the uk).

Tsk. What a dummy!


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, February 10th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

old dipstick... I guess you need to be careful when you raise your hand!!

UKgirl.. It is hard to describe pain... I compare it to death of a child in those ways because I think if I lost my child... I might think... did I protect him enough.. did I expose him to something to cause cancer, why didn't I take care... what did i do wrong, the you have the hate for the one who murdered your child... cause the death.. you hate cancer.. you think about it daily for months and months... I might cry missing him... wonder what it would be like day after day who he would be... what you would say to him, what you would teach him... You are right, no sexual hurt feelings in any of my comparisons... This comparison is to show the deep thought... oh well...

I know this.. is does fade with time.

[This message edited by trynhard at 2:04 PM, February 10th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 2636 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, February 10th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Done it again - missed a page!!

I'm always behind.....

Broken, I'll catch up with your posting later. Well, gotta get dinner. BB tmw. Have a nice evening everyone (it's 8pm here in the uk).

Tsk. What a dummy! ETA ..... oh never mind!!!

[This message edited by UKgirl at 2:03 PM, February 10th (Wednesday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, February 10th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UKgirl.

You are not a dummy. You managed to do a double post but have them seperated by tryn's post. I do not think I have seen that before, so I'm guessing that takes some talent.

You are right about this place. Everyone is so nice and always ready to lend a hand.

tryn.

I guess you need to be careful where your butt is when others are raising their hands/thumbs. Maybe that hand/thumb is a wannabe urologist.


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 3:14 PM, February 10th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello LTA family...
I've skimmed the last few days as I've not been online the past week.

My s-i-l passed away from cervical cancer metastic disease early Friday morning (Feb 5).

Saturday/6th was the 40th anniversary of our first date and we were to be out of town. Our spaniel has been at the kennel since last Monday as we stayed at my s-i-l's home along with my m-i-l who has been here since beginning of October.

Sunday/7th was the 3rd antiversary of D-day! We made it through the day with only brief mention of the day's significance as we were busy dealing with details of FWH's sister's passing and supporting his mom.

We are home as of last evg and I am very tired. Fibro flare in full force from exertion & stress of past weeks.
I haven't had a chance to read PFM's post mentioned by UKgirl but I'm sure hugs are needed so {{{IWAM}}}.

Hang in there everyone.


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
kalamity
♀ Member
Member # 21802
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, February 10th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((dip)) If I could figure out how to put in those little faces one would be laughing so hard snot would be coming out of its nose!

((miracle)) It is often difficult to take a step forward when the weight of it all pulls you back. Try to imagine the whole thing as a big puffy marshmallow with a rope attached to you. Imagine that marshmallow trying to pull you away from your center of peace, against your strength and determination – laughable!

((Sailaway)) Do you enjoy spending time with your WS? This was a key element for me. Even after all the A crap, my FWH is the person I most enjoy spending time with. He has a great sense of humor and a keen wit, is very gracious and chivalrous, and sexy as hell. Just sayin’… And I agree with everyone else that it is untrue that you weren’t supportive enough. You do still need to establish boundaries and standards, not just for his relationships with others, but for his relationship with you as well.

((booger)) UKG is right – you need to do something for yourself on the antiversary. What is fulfilling to you? Do something that fulfills you that day.

((LTA)) I don’t often feel comfortable giving specific advice to people, but sometimes I think others might benefit from my experience, so I pop in once in awhile to share something that I feel was valuable on my journey in the hopes that someone else might find value in it also.

FWH and I had another wonderful conversation about several things.
1) He does not have self-love. He is now 56 years old and has never had that love for himself that settles into the bones. I cannot imagine the emptiness of that. Above anything else, I would wish that for him. But how does one achieve something that is generally fundamental to development in the first 6 years of life? And especially now, after this? There is a challenge.
2) I asked him if he ever thought (during the A) that he didn’t want to be the person he was. He said that when he realized the relationship was not appropriate (and that was LONG after I would have considered it inappropriate), he thought that “this” wasn’t how he wanted to live, and did eventually think that he didn’t want to be that person. Of course he didn’t end the A because he “didn’t want to hurt her.” I’ve come to understand how a person who is not a thinker [very intelligent, but not a philosopher by any stretch of the imagination], acts only out of immediacy without seeing the big picture, which would be my devastation over his behavior and possibly the end of our relationship. He went directly from a home with controlling parents to the military and never learned to “choose” his own behavior, thus never learned to think about the consequences. Sad lesson to learn at this stage in life.
3) After I made a comment about him being misguided, he responded that he feels he lived his entire life before d-day without guidance (the inner kind). He is now working very hard to build a great set of core values (where in the hell were his parents?!?!), and exploring his own spirituality. One of the things that he said he never understood was how my faith guided me in every moment of my life. He wants that kind of guidance.

Listened to a little of Beth Moore’s show on INSP this morning. She was talking about not letting other people trash your confidence; sometimes a relationship just needs to be trashed, but more often than not, you should save the relationship and just not let the person trash your confidence any longer. Great message – easier said than done though! In the same vein, one of my recent daily devotionals was about identifying grief as grief and separating it from anger. The point made was that when a loved one discovers something about himself that is life-altering, he experiences the death of the person he was (the vision of that person at the very least). We experience grief for the loss of that person as well, but often mistake our grief for anger. This only adds to that person’s sense of loss. As someone who loves that person, we have the opportunity to help them instead of hurt them. I just thought that fit well into our situation.

Sorry about being so verbose. As dip said, I’ll admit, it helps me see things a little more clearly.

Have a lovely heart day everyone!


When it feels like your life is falling apart, perhaps it is falling in place.

BS(me)-56
WS-59: LTA (22+ years)
MOW-54: H's old girlfriend
D-day 08/11/08 (3 days before 25th anniversary)
Working hard on R


Posts: 104 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Nebraska
kalamity
♀ Member
Member # 21802
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, February 10th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((lostsoul))) You are in my prayers!


When it feels like your life is falling apart, perhaps it is falling in place.

BS(me)-56
WS-59: LTA (22+ years)
MOW-54: H's old girlfriend
D-day 08/11/08 (3 days before 25th anniversary)
Working hard on R


Posts: 104 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Nebraska
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 4:33 PM, February 10th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lostsuol.

Sorry for your loss. You have had a stress filled week. I know you are tired. I hope you get some rest. That will help you feel a little better.


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 5:14 PM, February 10th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

kalamity.

Thank you. Snot coming out of the little faces nose. I do feel like I have accomplished something today.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I do not think we can ever get too much information about all this A stuff.

It makes me sad to see all of the BSs have to suffer so much because of the WS lack of self esteem. We get punished because of childhood issues that our WSs have. I'm sure that childhood SAB is a huge factor in my W's personality disorder.

I'm glad that you agree with me about how much it helps to just write these things. Since I am a married man, some days I find that not much I say is agreed with.

Hugs to the tribe.


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, February 10th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((lostsoul)))))

i am so sorry for your loss....it was a long long road....i hope it was peaceful..


tryn: love the hand pictures, had to really really stare at the one with the hands up the ass.....took me a few minutes to figure out that it was an ass.. ...

dip:

If a fixaholic tries to fix herself, would this just be adding to the problem? You get your fix, fixing yourself, so would you be like a dog chasing her tail?

probably chasing a chopped off tail at that..


broken:


He is a pretty private person and It's very frustrating because sometimes I don't have a solid thought or opinion about something and I need someone else to bounce things off of and help me to sort things out

so he is private, this is an anonymous site...privacy is not an issue...now the next 2 sentences disturb me..

believes that any ideas I have about reconciliation are not my own, but someone else's and that I don't have a thought or opinion of my own.

and then you contradict your own feelings, second guessing yourself...

It's very frustrating because sometimes I don't have a solid thought or opinion about something and I need someone else to bounce things off of and help me to sort things out

i think you have let this man have way way too much control over you in so many ways, you are second guessing yourself, you do have your own thoughts, you do have your own opinions and you not only have them but listen closely...YOU ARE ENTITLED TO THEM....do not let this man talk you into thinking that you do not have a mind of your own,...time to stand up for yourself......

my ws used to try this on me, and even his family would get in on the act, i am now watching my sil struggle with this too.....he cannot control his own mind and thoughts and obviously his actions so he is trying to control yours.....he is also projecting his own insecurities onto you....if he could negate your negative feelings and thoughts concerning him he not only gains control but "wins"...it is a struggle for power...he is losing his power over you pure and simple...


tryn;

Even after all the relationship training I've had... it's not easy!

no tryn, its not easy, sometimes you have to really work for what really matters....and you my friend are working hard, very hard...

dip:

I had a bad day yesterday,

do you want to share?...and more importantly is today better?

kalamity: methinks i will have a few nightmares tonite about marshmallow men..

He is now working very hard to build a great set of core values (where in the hell were his parents?!?!), and exploring his own spirituality. One of the things that he said he never understood was how my faith guided me in every moment of my life. He wants that kind of guidance.

pfm's parents too were and are very controlling...also never taught the man the basics of human decency or to think on his own, to learn how to cope and to be able to make his own "good" choices.....

not always an easy task but a necessary one, one i am now struggling with with my ds16....pfm's way of parenting and mine have collided at the expense of this child....hopefully though i am catching it early enough to fix it...

and i think it is great that your ws is working on himself for himself...it really is the best way for him to work on the marriage...he needs to heal himself before he can help heal your marriage....they go hand in hand


btw kalamity is always good to hear from you

I don’t often feel comfortable giving specific advice to people, but sometimes I think others might benefit from my experience, so I pop in once in awhile to share something that I feel was valuable on my journey in the hopes that someone else might find value in it also.

i am glad you do choose to pop in....


ukgirl:

My GP gave me a leaflet on bereavement when I went to see him a couple of weeks after dday. He said to view it as a death – the loss of my marriage as it was – and to seek counselling to help with the bereavement process.

is it a death, it is the death of the marriage the way you had viewed it....that relationship as it was no longer exists and now either a new one is put in its place or the entire relationship is put to rest....and either way a new relationship will now be birthed...and it will either be a positive one that help both heal or it will be one of pain and anger....

and yes the person i was died that day, the innocence i had proudly possessed about my marriage and the man i believed i was married to was destroyed...i am now a new me, my core values though did not die, my principals did not die, my basic nature did not die but did suffer, my innocence died, my thought of who i was to this man died, my beliefs of this man died...so many deaths within the whole dynamic...


dip:

Since I am a married man, some days I find that not much I say is agreed with.

hey, that goes 2 ways buddy!!!

(((tribe)))


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
booger bear
♀ Member
Member # 26584
Content  Posted: 1:12 AM, February 11th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

dip I am not ready for school ... I have all my materials and my scrubs ... ect ...

but "me" no I am not xlose to ready yet ... I am a nervous wreck ... I can do the school work no prob, just all the life changing that has me reeling ...


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18711 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 8:27 AM, February 11th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

booger:

why are you not ready for school?...what changes do you fear?...or what changes are you afraid will not happen?


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
brokenheart09
♀ Member
Member # 25338
Default  Posted: 9:41 AM, February 11th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How do I gain back the power? I feel so helpless... He makes me feel even more confused than I already am. I can never tell him how I feel about anything because we ALWAYS end up in a fight. He gets defensive and we end up brawling! However, if I keep my feelings bottled up, I feel sick to my stomach. It's like he's doing everything he can to get me to leave. Last night he resorted to just not talking to me at all. WTF? He really makes me feel like I am the one with the problem and if I can't just live in the moment of him trying to make this work, then I am the one that is living in the past and not letting go. He told me he would never beg or plead for me to stay and if I needed that, then I may as well just leave because he needs to be able to look himself in the mirror everyday and begging is just not *him*. Do I need begging or am I just angry that he is standing his ground on not compromising? I don't know if I can live this way forever...


Me BS (33)
Him WH (35)
5 year LTA
DD:2/Twin sons: 8 months
DDay: 8/22/09 (his) & 9/8/09 (from her)
R: still deciding...

Posts: 78 | Registered: Aug 2009
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, February 11th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

broken.

I doubt you want begging or pleading. A little show of remorse would be nice. He wants to be able to look himself in the mirror, so he does not want to beg? Is he able to look himself in the mirror after having the LTA?

He is trying to blameshift big time. If this does not work out it was because you are not trying. If you leave he will be thinking that he tried but you did not. That makes him not guilty.

Does he almost always see things as black and white, right or wrong, with no compromise?

Do not keep your feelings bottled up. Come here as often as you can. You have many friends here. People that really do care and want to hear what you say. It will help.

If I am reading him right, you are going to have a hard time winning a argument with him. It would be best at this time to try and stay out of any argument with him.

Booger.

If you mean that what has you reeling are things not school related, I think that you will find that school will help direct your thoughts away from those issues.

miracle.

It took you a few minutes to notice the ass in that pic. I noticed it right away.

I had a bad day because I got word that a old man I am fond of is very sick. He has less than a 50/50 chance of making it. He has shown a little improvement. He is a tough old guy so who knows. He may pull through.

Hugs to the tribe.


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 11:07 AM, February 11th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My excuse is I had a frozen screen and the little timer was whirring. So I gave up and shut it all down. That’s my answer to everything – shut down! I wonder what I can use that talent for?

He is a pretty private person and believes that any ideas I have about reconciliation are not my own, but someone else's and that I don't have a thought or opinion of my own.
Broken, if you were buying a car and you’d never bought one before, you’d be daft to not seek advice. If you were planning a wedding with your best friend, you’d be daft not to seek advice. If you found a lump in your breast, you’d be downright stupid to not seek advice. You take on board all advice available out there and come up with your own decisions as to which way to go. Infidelity is no different. You’ve not experienced it before, you need advice. And then you take that advice and use it to your best advantage. Yes, it is a private matter. But that doesn’t mean you have to go through it all on your own. And his response is one of the WS just wanting it all to just go away. It doesn’t.

Lostsuol, sounds a difficult time altogether for you right now. Guess the dday anntiversary took a few steps back this year. I’m sorry that it was replaced by something so sad. I hope your family is holding together at this traumatic time. Big hugs sister. (((((((LS)))))))

Gotta go for DS4’s piano. BBL to catch up on the rest of the page. Before someone takes us to page 39!!


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

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