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Things that every WS needs to know

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kaylee711 posted 8/11/2014 05:16 AM

As a BS, I'm having the hardest time with the confusion aspect - you hit the nail right on the head - even though my happy-sad-angy-happy-super angry-sleepy-forgetfulness is way off the charts, I am comforted to know that there's no shame as BS feeling this:


CONFUSION: They’re disoriented. They can’t think straight. They become impatient, disorganized and forgetful. More frequently than usual they go to a room to retrieve something, but once they get there they can’t remember what it was. This is very upsetting to them. Bear with them. Be gentle and be helpful. Help them find their misplaced purse or locate their lost keys. Know that they will eventually come out of the fog. Also be aware that their confusion, as with other states listed here, may be set off or magnified by certain “triggers.” (Note: Read more about “triggers” below.)

Headunderwater posted 8/12/2014 15:07 PM

Thank you for posting this even if it wasn't as reassuring as I thought. after reading this it actually became more apparent to me that R may not be an option for me and my WS. reading through these thing they all seem like great advice and things that would go a long way into healing us but unfortunately they are not things that I could see my wife actually doing...

sarahstar posted 8/15/2014 04:59 AM

thankyou for posting this

remorsefulww posted 8/16/2014 10:06 AM

Bump

SisterMilkshake posted 8/21/2014 19:06 PM

bump

trying22 posted 8/22/2014 10:25 AM

As the BS this post validated what I'm feeling and made me feel less crazy. Ps I loved that at one post said do not call them 'crazy' or 'irrational'. It's so true I hate these words because he has no idea the pain I feel. He can try to understand and relate but in the end he really can't.. And I'm not crazy and it hurts to hear him call me that.. I start to believe him and think that I'm somehow fucked up in my thinking and the problem is me..

SisterMilkshake posted 9/5/2014 14:35 PM

bump

AceKnight posted 9/7/2014 10:01 AM

My BS showed this post to me last night, and I have just printed it out as a guide to help me with any attempt at R that can possibly happen.

I feel extremely hopeless at times because I cannot get things perfectly right when it needs to be perfect.

Thanks for being willing to share what hope there is!

Sparkle0504 posted 9/17/2014 04:29 AM

Bump

5454real posted 9/19/2014 23:15 PM

bump

SisterMilkshake posted 10/12/2014 09:51 AM

👊 bump

RKT429SS posted 10/17/2014 18:49 PM

.

BtraydWife posted 11/14/2014 10:03 AM

Bump

Regret44 posted 11/14/2014 10:06 AM

Timely. Thanks.

Macsecond posted 12/9/2014 15:44 PM

bump

sarahstar posted 12/9/2014 18:25 PM

bumping as well

singingtheblues posted 12/9/2014 19:43 PM

Giving this the bump... Exactly the refresher this WH needed...

rwhitephd posted 12/13/2014 14:58 PM

I am so glad I printed this out. Also printed How To Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair. Been pouring over both...so many thanks for posting this!!!

SisterMilkshake posted 1/4/2015 10:07 AM

*bump* for Mr. and Mrs. Incarnate.

Incarnate posted 1/5/2015 07:36 AM

Copied original post in its entirety and sent it to my wife... she doesn't take suggestion well at all. We'll see what happens. -hopeful-

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