SurvivingInfidelity.com® > Wayward Side
Things that every WS needs to know
As a BS, I'm having the hardest time with the confusion aspect - you hit the nail right on the head - even though my happy-sad-angy-happy-super angry-sleepy-forgetfulness is way off the charts, I am comforted to know that there's no shame as BS feeling this:
CONFUSION: They’re disoriented. They can’t think straight. They become impatient, disorganized and forgetful. More frequently than usual they go to a room to retrieve something, but once they get there they can’t remember what it was. This is very upsetting to them. Bear with them. Be gentle and be helpful. Help them find their misplaced purse or locate their lost keys. Know that they will eventually come out of the fog. Also be aware that their confusion, as with other states listed here, may be set off or magnified by certain “triggers.” (Note: Read more about “triggers” below.)
Thank you for posting this even if it wasn't as reassuring as I thought. after reading this it actually became more apparent to me that R may not be an option for me and my WS. reading through these thing they all seem like great advice and things that would go a long way into healing us but unfortunately they are not things that I could see my wife actually doing...
thankyou for posting this
As the BS this post validated what I'm feeling and made me feel less crazy. Ps I loved that at one post said do not call them 'crazy' or 'irrational'. It's so true I hate these words because he has no idea the pain I feel. He can try to understand and relate but in the end he really can't.. And I'm not crazy and it hurts to hear him call me that.. I start to believe him and think that I'm somehow fucked up in my thinking and the problem is me..
My BS showed this post to me last night, and I have just printed it out as a guide to help me with any attempt at R that can possibly happen.
I feel extremely hopeless at times because I cannot get things perfectly right when it needs to be perfect.
Thanks for being willing to share what hope there is!
bumping as well
Giving this the bump... Exactly the refresher this WH needed...
I am so glad I printed this out. Also printed How To Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair. Been pouring over both...so many thanks for posting this!!!
*bump* for Mr. and Mrs. Incarnate.
Copied original post in its entirety and sent it to my wife... she doesn't take suggestion well at all. We'll see what happens. -hopeful-
bump to put it up top