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Just Found Out     Print Topic    
User Topic: Honey, they always affair down
fumotheroftwo
♀ Member
Member # 25815
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, January 12th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Because this deserves to be on the very top and first page.....


Me BS : 46 yrs old
Him WS: 47 yrs old
Married: 20 yrs
2 children ages 16 & 12
D Day 8/29/2009
Currently on R but struggling.

Posts: 95 | Registered: Oct 2009
ladystyx41
♀ New Member
Member # 27066
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, January 12th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is my first post & after reading your post, deathbybetrayal you have made my day! This is soooo true. The OW in my situation tried to make me feel like the low esteem, heartless, manipulative, (insert any negative adjective you can imagine)person. In the past year she has lost custody of her child over this, lost her rented house (that both her & WS signed lease on), tried to commit suicide 3 times, has done everything in her power to make me look & feel horrible. Ironically after reading your post I honestly believe she was feeling this way about herself & used me as the scapegoat for the horrible feelings she felt about herself! Yuk one messed up scanky, broad!

[This message edited by ladystyx41 at 9:34 AM, January 12th (Tuesday)]


BS 47
WS 49
married 25 years
EA 1998(WS doesnt admit it was A)
EMA 2004 or 2005 to ?
possible other A
Actual D-day Dec. 2008
Still confused on what to do!

Posts: 34 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: missouri
WheredoIgonow
♀ Member
Member # 27130
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, January 12th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are right own. It was devasting when I found out. My usual high self esteem was shattered.

The more I found out - the more I see what you said. She was on her third divorce when she sunk her claws in desparation into my WH - and he ate it up. She was pressuring him to move in with her after just 4 months. He almost did.

What kind of person would pressure a married man of 25 years with young children - after just 4 months?? Oh yeah, the low end of the weak minded. A broken thrice-divorced woman. Wow.

He's learning now too - that maybe she wasn't so great.

Thank you.


Me; BS (55)
Him: WS (57)
Married 30 years
DD-29, DS-27, DS-19, DS-17
OW#1 - PA - 4 1/2 years. He said she didn't mean anything to him. I think the EA fizzled out with them over time. Then came OW#2. Divorced 3 times and was desperate and needy.

Posts: 633 | Registered: Jan 2010
Illinoisgirl
♀ Member
Member # 25686
Default  Posted: 6:07 AM, January 14th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Married 12 years, together 18
WH - Recovering alcoholic
Me - Recovering wife
Reconciling?
D-Day 9-27-09
3 great kids - 12, 10 & 8

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt


Posts: 339 | Registered: Sep 2009
StunnedNShocked
♀ Member
Member # 26987
Default  Posted: 8:11 AM, January 14th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumped again


BS (me) 40
WS 38
DDay 11/27/09
Wading deep into the R waters and feeling relieved the roller coaster seems to have evened out some.

Posts: 492 | Registered: Dec 2009
acalsup
♂ Member
Member # 26748
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, January 14th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Married OM was 18 years older than me. WW wasn't physically attracted, but he fed her ego and she let him. she had a PA in hopes finding the physical attraction, she was addicted to the EA and thought if the EA was so good, the PA would be too. WW traded down many levels, like so many others on this board.


Me (H, BS) 39
W 38
Together 20 years
Married 15 years
D 10 yrs
EA started 12/07
EA firm 9/08
PA 11/08 12/08
D-Day 2/15/09
Second D-day on untruths 8/15/09

Posts: 62 | Registered: Dec 2009
Tryin2010
♀ Member
Member # 27216
Default  Posted: 12:55 AM, January 17th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you so much for this - I printed it, and all the replies to date. You have no idea how much this post helped me! And yes, she is younger, but no where nicer looking about 75lbs more than me, extremely needy, a slut (she meets men in parking lots off of the internet - where she found my H) and all in all trash. And yes, he admitted it was an ego boost to him, but how much of an ego boost can it be or has he just not realized that he chose the bottom of the heap? I hope he will come to realize it soon, he is back here, and has had NC even though she's been trying all kinds of ways - and even through his family. He says he tries to think of the 'bad stuff' but he wishes he would have left at a low point instead of things going 'fine' how could they have been going fine? He lived with her 3 months, complained that she wasn't smart, had no mind of her own, would even say when they went out to eat, she'd always have what ever he was having, watched stupid tv shows that bored him to tears and in those 3 months, walked out on her 4 times and threatened more than that. So why is he so defensive about her? He says because he takes it as an insult that "HIS CHOICE" was not a good one. He didn't even ask her to move in with him, she tossed her kids, pets and home and just did it. The same way she abandoned her life to drive an hour to take her clothes off and 'do' him at the drop of a hat or less several times a week. I don't get it. And with all she is putting me through with tampering with things to drive me crazy, and keep in touch with his relatives, he trys to tell me 'try to understand' she's probably hurt and not real smart.... UGH!! Makes me crazy!!!!!!!!! And he wishes under different circumstances we all could have been friends!!???? OH PULEEEEEZEE


Mom of 5 - yours mine and ours
Together 16 years
His A 9 months before I found out on 5/09 and locked him out
Reconciliation 9/09
Still 'Tryin' to move on
Therapy weekly!

Posts: 113 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: New York
Ketta
♀ Member
Member # 26744
Default  Posted: 1:05 AM, January 17th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That was beautiful DB!

Thank you, for making one of those bad days, not feel so bad.


BS=Me (27)
WS=Him (25)
M 3 yrs, 2 kids
Multiple EA's
1 known PA??
D Day 9/13/09
Working on R, but still not sure.

Posts: 100 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: The South
wiserinsocal
♂ Member
Member # 18487
Default  Posted: 1:20 AM, January 17th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please add to this thread one very simple thought...It happens to be the WW who fits this bill as well...many a BH here who feel very much the same way when turned around.

Peace to ALL here who seek it.
W


"It's the intangibles that are fragile"- WiserinSoCal

"The Main things are the plain things, and the Plain things are the main things" - Alistair Begg

Every one needs to believe in something, or they will fall for anything...


Posts: 1802 | Registered: Mar 2008
deathbybetrayal
♀ Member
Member # 22478
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, January 17th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh wiser - I know it's so often true with either sex.


There are just so many BW's here - guess I tend to relate a little more to their pain. But, it has to be just as disgusting and disheartening for a BH to see how low their WW will go in order to make themselves "feel better."

Courage and strength to all BSs today!

DBB


Married 10 years at DDay
Me: 53 Him: 52 - Desperately trying to unfuck the donkey.
DDay: July 16, 2008
FWH Epiphany: Aug.23, 2008 NC: Aug. 28, 2008

Posts: 5624 | Registered: Jan 2009
quirkina
♀ Member
Member # 22119
Default  Posted: 10:56 PM, January 18th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Agree....My IC said "well water finds its own level--and maybe he has found his.

OW is a "dancer" who gives her phone number out to married men with KISA issues and then has to listen to them whine to her 24/7 while she pumps up their pathetic egos. My fantasy is to watch my WH face when he finds out that he is not her only.


Posts: 402 | Registered: Dec 2008
Plum
♀ New Member
Member # 27283
Default  Posted: 4:21 AM, January 19th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is my first post. I read this and I dont feel any better.

Reason: Why should be have to belittle the OW when we should never have been cheated on...

[This message edited by Plum at 9:05 AM, January 20th (Wednesday)]


BS: Me (33)
WS: Him (33)
M: 7 years, 3 kids
EA: 2006 - 2010
DDay: 7 January 2010
OW: Whore co-worker
Reconciling: 22 Jan '10

Posts: 33 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: South Africa
newyear
♀ Member
Member # 22713
Default  Posted: 7:59 AM, January 19th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

deathbybetrayal:

Thanks for that post. That makes me feel better.

My FWH used the same prostitute during his overseas business trips. A 30 year younger person than me. That really hurts.

I still wonder why WS would do such things to the ones they love??

Have a beautiful day.


WH 62--hired the same prostitute during his overseas business trips to Shanghai, China in 6/08 & 12/08
BW 59
M 38 yr
2 daughters 29 & 27--Both are M
DDay 7/08--Took him 6 months to defogged and admitted the A
12/08 --Working very hard on the R

Posts: 1555 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Midwest
courage17
♀ New Member
Member # 27171
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, January 19th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OH MY! wow! this is brilliant. OW here is oh my gosh - low. deals drugs- gave my H pills- looks? im not a beauty queen but next to her- i am. OW is how i found out. he threatened to turn her in to police for tellin. i needed this too! thank you!


WH 38
BW 34
M 3 yrs together 6
Dday EA Aug 12 2009
Dday PA Nov 7 2009
If the one that loves you is not supportive of who you are, what you need, and helping you heal from damage they did, then where is the love?

Posts: 46 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: TN
courage17
♀ New Member
Member # 27171
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, January 19th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OH MY! wow! this is brilliant. OW here is oh my gosh - low. deals drugs- gave my H pills- looks? im not a beauty queen but next to her- i am. OW is how i found out. he threatened to turn her in to police for tellin. i needed this too! thank you!


WH 38
BW 34
M 3 yrs together 6
Dday EA Aug 12 2009
Dday PA Nov 7 2009
If the one that loves you is not supportive of who you are, what you need, and helping you heal from damage they did, then where is the love?

Posts: 46 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: TN
Amandilla
♀ Member
Member # 20347
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, January 19th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks! I copied that to a word to save for my files! Im considering sending it to OW!


Me: BW:47
HIM:WS:39 in treatment for SA
Married 16 years
several ONS
internet flirting
1 year long distance E/PA
1 beautiful son
DD1 7/14/08 False R
DD2 8/9/08 OW exposed False R which ended A. Thanks Jen!
Our new love story in progress

Posts: 503 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: East Coast
timewilltellUK
♀ Member
Member # 21760
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, January 20th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumping this one up for painpaingoaway!


Me - BS 36
Him - WS 35
D-Day 23rd October 2008
Together 7 years
DD 1 - 12
DD 2 - 5

The Truth Hurts and Lies Worse
I try to hold on, but it hurts too much. I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay. - James Morrison


Posts: 228 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: timewilltellUK
TwistedUp
♀ Member
Member # 27294
Default  Posted: 8:38 AM, January 20th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I needed to read/hear this desperately.

Thank you very much for taking the time to break it down. Though I know you are right, it's tough to remember.

Love & Light to all.


Me: 37
fWH: 39- Almost a ONS, but I caught him red-handed.
D-Day: July 2009.
In active and so far successful R.

Posts: 114 | Registered: Jan 2010
appleofmyeyes
♀ Member
Member # 25708
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, January 20th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you....better then my IC, gosh I guess I need a new one

One was more successful and younger then me, one was better at sex then me, one was prettier then me.

He is still here with his tail between his legs.


Posts: 74 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: OC
sullymeishadomi
♀ Member
Member # 16305
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, January 20th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know....even tho my wh is finished with her (I think I finally have that confirmation), I truely want to take Deathbybetrayal's original post and a)send it to his xwhore and b) publish it in the local paper dedicated to all involved (to give strength to bs's; explain to ow what their realities are; ws...you're damd lucky to have us....

My husband....well, he says the stupidest crap sometimes. Or he will try and compliment me and it comes out like pure crap, but he said the other night (and a few times before) that if she is so much better than I, then why is he here? Like DBB wrote, she might be thinner and have a better body (I turned into Orca...ooopps here comes the fisher man with his harpoon ....sorry, if I can't laugh at myself, then life is too sour) but she couldn't keep him. NOt with her money, her illicet photos and videos (which she did out of luv ), her fake generosity (bbf's mom even warned me it was fake)...she just couldn't keep him. Or if it was she who dumped him, she couldn't have him all to herself. Either way, she wasn't woman enough.


People tell you exactly who they are...why expect them to be what they are not ....will be divorcing the selfish creep.

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