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Newest Member: SadDadOf3 (46038)

Just Found Out     Print Topic    
User Topic: Honey, they always affair down
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, November 11th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumpin this as well. Definately the case in my situation as well. Not even in the same League, she admits that having the upperhand may have been a factor....


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1936 | Registered: Nov 2010
ejms
♀ Member
Member # 29369
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, November 11th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This was great thanks!!! I was always comparing us and what did she have that i didn't. The best comment came from a bartender where we frequent and where the OW showed up one night the young female bartender pulled my WH aside and said to him "i'm sorry but I just don't get it, what did you see in her" meaning OW. Surprisingly WH told me all about it.

Posts: 107 | Registered: Aug 2010
AttemptStrength
♀ Member
Member # 27947
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, November 15th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


BS me
WS him x2 A's
1 autistic DS

I'd never have spent the money on a wedding dress if I knew I was just going to a costume party.


Posts: 1992 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: Wisconsin
gunnisonbrown
♀ Member
Member # 30115
Default  Posted: 5:52 PM, November 15th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you SO much for posting this. The OW in our situation was also much less attractive (at least as far as I'm concerned). I've been wondering why, when WH has a fairly attractive wife, he would be compelled risk the end of our marriage to be with such an unattractive person. You've summed it all up...and I feel so much better about it.

PS...love the "desperately trying to unfuck the donkey" comment in your signature. I'm going to use that!


ME - BS - 46
WH - 51
Together 28 years, married 25 years
Two teenage sons
D-Day #1 - 10/29/10


Posts: 233 | Registered: Nov 2010
3boysmom
♀ Member
Member # 29953
Default  Posted: 3:07 PM, November 17th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The OW in our situation is God awful ugly and has no morals or ethics. She is disgusting and a disgrace to the human race. He affaired way, way down.


BS (Me) 44 STBX WH 40 two boys, 5 and 6 (plus my 20 year old son)
D-Day Oct 6, 2010 (EA)
D-Day #2 Nov 13, 2010 (found out about PA)
Moved on, and moved out 9 months later

Posts: 452 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: Michigan
whatdoto
♀ Member
Member # 28555
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, November 17th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I saw the OW for the first time up close today. WH and I went to lunch and I took him back to work. We werein my truck and I told WH to sit right there, don't get out. I looked over at the OW, looked at WH, and said "WH, she's ugly!". He boughed his head and said "thanks". I said "well, I just don't understand why people in this A situation chose the people they do".

[This message edited by whatdoto at 4:19 PM, November 17th (Wednesday)]


"If your ideal image of yourself is in the future, it's going to stay there".

Posts: 1187 | Registered: May 2010 | From: Texas
butterfly30
♀ Member
Member # 29356
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, November 18th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This post gives me new insight and courage to love myself no matter what.

My WH was so blinded by her beauty "inside and outside" that nothing else mattered. Years later he is finally coming to the realization that the pretty shiny apple is rotten to the core.


Posts: 65 | Registered: Aug 2010
sudra
♀ Member
Member # 30143
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, November 18th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I saw this post weeks ago and thought, well, my WH's OW was quite attractive, so it didn't apply.
However,I have now realized, I am attractive AND of much better character.
This physically attractive OW decided her own marriage was on the rocks and contacted my husband to try to line his up as her next husband.
Did she wait until she was separated/divorced to conact my husband? No.
Did she back off when she realize my husband was married with a son still at home? No.
This OW simply has "nothing to recommend her" as Jane Austen would say.
Yes, my husband definiately affaired down.
Thanks for the post.


Me (BW) (55), Him(SAWH) (58)
Married 22 years, 1 son (19), 1 stepdaughter (27)
DDay #1 January 2004
DDay #2 7-27-2010 7 month EA/PA (became "engaged" to OW before he told me he wanted a divorce)
Working on R

Posts: 1541 | Registered: Nov 2010
brokenpromise
♀ Member
Member # 28859
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, November 20th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumping this one - I know it helps me every time I read it


BW- Me 60 FWS - 65
M 43 years
DD June 9, 2010
On and off LTA with dept secretary
But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal Matt 6:20

Posts: 414 | Registered: Jun 2010
Trailrider
♀ Member
Member # 23977
Default  Posted: 6:21 PM, November 20th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My xwh did, she is a inverted chin, hair down to her ass, ugly crumpled mouth, disgusting short bitch from hell....how he ever fell for her is beyond me.


BS me: 48
WH: 46
M.24 years. together 25
3 kids, ages 21,18,12
EA #1 1/08-7/08
PA #2 8/08-3/09
Broke NC several times
D day 9/13/08
D day 12/14/08
D day 3/30/08
D day, 12/14/09
Taking one last shot at making this work. So far so good.

Posts: 179 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Minnesota
j_b1125
♀ Member
Member # 29075
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, November 20th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW is 7 years older than WH and NOT attractive at all. I have been feeling pretty low about myself through this. I have always had super low self-esteem to begin with. This helped me start to think about things a little differently.


Me: BS, 34
Him: STBXH, 33
2 Sons: 3 years & 2 years
Together Almost 7 years, Married almost 5 years
D Day's 7/11/10 (EA), 11/7/10 (PA), 3/6/11, 4/13/11
Divorcing

Posts: 116 | Registered: Jul 2010
LovingASoldier
♀ Member
Member # 30195
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, November 24th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This actually makes me a feel a bit down. As much as I try to see it this way, I don't think it was the case.

She's 10 years younger than him. She isn't horrible looking, not stunning but not ugly. She's a little chubby, but no chubbier than me. But the one thing I don't understand is that she's french, she can type english well, but I guess having a face to face conversation is difficult. He hates french, that I really don't get. He told her he was single with no children. She found out about me and told him she wouldn't see him again. They ran into each other again and picked up with they left off because he told her he left me. In a way, I see how that makes her low because I definitely wouldn't go back to someone I spent one night with after finding out they lied to me from the very start. And then again, when she found out that we were still together and he had lied about leaving me she told him to fuck off. Then 2 days later started texting him and saying she wanted to be with him because "something special happened between them".

She's low for and trashy with no morals for wanting to stick around and be the person to help break up a family. But she didn't initially get involved with him knowing that, and I think by the time she found out she was in too deep with him.

Even now she still tries to contact him now and then, and I told H that he needed to realize what she was trying to do and what kind of person she is. His response "I do, but she is a good person overall" I wish he would just throw her under the bus and show me that he thinks she is worthless. But he doesn't...

[This message edited by LovingASoldier at 1:20 PM, November 24th (Wednesday)]


Me: 28, BS
Him: 32, fWS
Us: 4 year old son, 1 year old daughter, in R.

Posts: 468 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Nova Scotia
Junebug0525
♀ Member
Member # 29142
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, November 24th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's great. My ex's co-worker told him when he first started seeing her that "you're supposed to trade up, not down". Everyone that's ever met her has told me "I don't get it, she's nothing compared to you." Makes me feel all warm and tingly inside. At least now I can shop for a higher-end model than what I had before!


Me: BS
Him: WXH DDay-11/22/2009~ D~ 10/25/10
OWhore: Co-worker (7 years younger)
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." AND THEY DID!!!

Posts: 1146 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Maryland
heart_in_a_blend
♀ Member
Member # 24191
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, November 24th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband is always commenting on these celebs that have EA/PA, texting thousands of messages. He says, why would they do this when their wives are so beautiful?

I just look at him and say, "what makes you any different"?

This tells me all I need to know about this man I've been married to for 38 years.

How sad to be such a dumbass.


In life, much of what one grieves one never had.

Posts: 3036 | Registered: May 2009
brokenpromise
♀ Member
Member # 28859
Default  Posted: 11:05 PM, December 3rd (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

giving this a bump - always a good read


BW- Me 60 FWS - 65
M 43 years
DD June 9, 2010
On and off LTA with dept secretary
But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal Matt 6:20

Posts: 414 | Registered: Jun 2010
brokenpromise
♀ Member
Member # 28859
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumpity bump


BW- Me 60 FWS - 65
M 43 years
DD June 9, 2010
On and off LTA with dept secretary
But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal Matt 6:20

Posts: 414 | Registered: Jun 2010
Muchstrongernow
Member
Member # 30169
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lucky for my man he did !!

At least I knew it wasn't a physical attraction

She only had 1 thing to offer, and according to the e mails I read, She didn't even do that well!!!!
How sad, A "friendship" ended and the 1 night of sex wasn't even a good memory for him....

UNFUCK THE DONKEY, gotta love that


hard work pays off.... so does the emotional hard work.... happy me.... worry less, do more

Posts: 165 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: a good place
brokenpromise
♀ Member
Member # 28859
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, December 17th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumping this up for those in need


BW- Me 60 FWS - 65
M 43 years
DD June 9, 2010
On and off LTA with dept secretary
But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal Matt 6:20

Posts: 414 | Registered: Jun 2010
horseluvr
♀ Member
Member # 30097
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, December 17th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey Trailrider--I think our WH were seeing the same skankasaurus--I love this post. Thank you for brightening my day DBB!!!!

[This message edited by horseluvr at 3:22 PM, December 17th (Friday)]


BS me WS him...3 great kids
DD 10-09 OW younger but doesnt look it,face looks like a dried up cow pie..note to c**tface:sunscreen

Posts: 2015 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: central calif
samsmom113
♀ Member
Member # 30337
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, December 17th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

what about when he still chooses her over me?


Me(BS): 28
DS: 2.5
DDay 1: 10/11/10 DDay 2: 12/1/10
False R, DS and I moved out 12/1/10
D 7/6/11
Who knew life could be so wonderful

Posts: 260 | Registered: Dec 2010
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