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Just Found Out     Print Topic    
User Topic: Honey, they always affair down
sadeyes2011
♀ New Member
Member # 30612
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, January 9th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

THANK YOU! i needed that! I know that i am a successful woman who went to college, works at a university and just was asked if i wanted a promotion. OW is in a basically non-existent job, has no future, has 3 kids herself (we have one and one on the way) WH constantly told me that he felt sorry for her, etc. I felt exactly what you wrote but with it being so fresh it is hard to get complete peace and understanding, so this helped so much! I know i am better than her and she was someone who would listen to him and take all of his bad parts and ignore them for her own selfish satisfaction. OW was looking for someone to give her the self esteem as her husband just left her, because she was not a good wife, etc.

I AM BETTER! SHE IS SCUM!


Me 34
WS 37
DDay 12/28/10 with me 20 weeks pregnant
1 daughter and 3 year old son
18 month PA

Posts: 11 | Registered: Jan 2011
letmego
♀ Member
Member # 30381
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, January 13th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


As of Oct, 2010:
BW(me) 35; WH 36; employee OW 21 Together 18 years, married 9 (onlies..until OW)
DD 3, DS 7;
D-day 7/2010
D Final Nov 30, 2011

Posts: 650 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: FL
Spilledmilk
♀ Member
Member # 30625
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, January 13th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YES! I LOVE THIS POST!

The OW in my case is such a scumbag. She has no job anymore after losing her fast food cashier gig. I'd be surprised if she actually graduated from high school, judging from her literacy level. She has two kids under 4 with two different guys, neither of which she was in a relationship with at the time of conceptions. She dumps those kids off on anyone who will take them, and is hated by many a former babysitter for not paying for their care. Her home is dirty inside and out. She is known around town as being a skank and has been investigated several times for mistreating her kids. Her face is squinched-looking and ugly, her eyes are beady, and her ears are like Dumbo's. I am told that her vagina smells like bad cheese, although obviously, I don't care to verify that one.

She is two years younger than me, though. LOL.

[This message edited by Spilledmilk at 11:54 AM, January 13th (Thursday)]


Me-BS-29
Him-WH-29
2 kids
He had a 5 month A- DDay July 2010
Currently in R

Posts: 315 | Registered: Jan 2011
prariegirl
♀ Member
Member # 30787
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, January 13th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for this. I really needed to hear that!


Me: BS 39
Him: WH 38
Together 19 years, married for 13
Kids: 9 & 6
D-day: 1/9/11 - 18 month EA/PA
D-Day2: 3/7/11 - lots of EA and cyber affairs and a ONS.

Posts: 109 | Registered: Jan 2011
EveryPurpose
♀ Member
Member # 29875
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, January 13th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read this early on after my Dday and I look at it time to time. Thanks for keeping it going. It kept me going in the early days.
They do always affair down. Early on it isn't easy to see this because you think there is something wrong with you but that could not be further from the truth!


DD April 20, 2010

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven ECC 3:1
I am happy to say I am stonger and better than ever. "I am not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be."


Posts: 84 | Registered: Oct 2010
his_loss
♀ Member
Member # 30423
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, January 13th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Spilledmilk, I think you described the OW in our situation. Except yours had a job.


I have found my balls and you can bet your sweet ass I'm going to use them.

Logic + reality = the path to freedom.


Posts: 316 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Leading a life of quiet desperation
hurttothebone
♀ Member
Member # 30767
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, January 13th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am very new here. Saw this topic mentioned in a few other posts. So I hunted it down. Now I am glad I did. The OW in my case is a "recovering" Crack head. She went to rehab, because he didn't want to be with a crack head, it's ok if she does pills, booze or pot, but no crack. In his words, at least they have something in common. He is a pill head and now she is too. Ever seen a crack head? It ain't pretty.
D-Day 1-10-11
WH-53-him
BS-46-me
together 7 years, married 5. Pain daily

[This message edited by hurttothebone at 7:51 PM, January 13th (Thursday)]


Posts: 111 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: PA
gunnisonbrown
♀ Member
Member # 30115
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, January 13th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I SO wish there was a OW forum on SI. The the OW needs to see how she is perceived by everyone else, even our WH's!!

Bump! Bump! Bump!!


ME - BS - 46
WH - 51
Together 28 years, married 25 years
Two teenage sons
D-Day #1 - 10/29/10


Posts: 233 | Registered: Nov 2010
SadSpouse
♀ Member
Member # 13133
Default  Posted: 10:35 PM, January 13th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WOW, I really did need this tonight.

She is skinny and blond....I'll never be a blond. Not even close.

She IS older than me though.

And she is just a piece of shit.


Everything happens for a reason......we may not know why at the moment, but God has a reason.

Posts: 128 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Midwest
shocknraw
♀ New Member
Member # 30821
Default  Posted: 12:34 AM, January 14th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just copied and pasted this in an email to my WH. It is completely true about the OW. Thank you.


BS: 52
WS: 48
Married 10 years
No kids
DDay 12/15/2010, anniversary of him asking me to marry him in 2000. How ironic.

Posts: 4 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Washington
Spilledmilk
♀ Member
Member # 30625
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, January 14th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I SO wish there was a OW forum on SI. The the OW needs to see how she is perceived by everyone else, even our WH's!!

Don't worry- they lurk here. They know. There are other forums for OWs- I started reading them after DDay to get an idea of what type of person I was dealing with. I actually found them comforting- these women (there didn't seem to be many men there) are messed-up, period. Not happy, sexy vamps- sad, lonely, pathetic, desperate women. Really- the OP hit it out of the park with this post- it's totally accurate.

Seriously- Are we allowed to post pictures? That would be fun, huh?!

I'm guessing we're not, or someone would've done it already.... am I right?

'Cause if we can post pictures, I think it would make this thread super-funny and I'd be happy to go first!!! (How 'bout it, mod(s)?)


Me-BS-29
Him-WH-29
2 kids
He had a 5 month A- DDay July 2010
Currently in R

Posts: 315 | Registered: Jan 2011
hurttothebone
♀ Member
Member # 30767
Default  Posted: 3:44 PM, January 15th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have come here and read this a few times. So I wanted to bump it for some of the newbies.

Posts: 111 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: PA
LuckyCat
♀ Member
Member # 30750
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, January 15th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On top of being unattractive, the OW is a bisexual, alcoholic, gold digger. She has no morals and formulated a plan to take her husband for his money, then leave him to raise her children with my WSO. Secretly, he found the suggestion appalling and profoundly f*ed up. He considered her mentally unstable and trashy. While he may not have disagreed with her ideas outright, choosing to laugh them off, I know my WSO well enough to trust him when he says he had no interest in raising her children by other men. Particularly not in the manner she was describing. According to my WSO, she actually smelled...terribly...at points while they were intimate. He volunteered this detail recently. I didn't ask and never expected to hear such a thing. He practically whispered it, he was so embarrassed. He said it was her general body odor, and not limited to private parts. Nice. He always hated the way she dressed. She had absolutely zero style. He found her socially embarrassing. She was pretentious and crass. The way she talked about herself around friends and strangers made him wince and want to hide.

I, too, wish we could post pictures...comparison photos! But, Christ, I think we would be libel or something.

I do hope the OWs lurk and get an eyeful of reality. What our WS thought afterward, but how they also perceived them all along.

[This message edited by LuckyCat at 4:08 PM, January 15th (Saturday)]


Me- BGF (32 yo)
Him- WSO (31 yo)
D-Day November 14, 2009
*Working Through It*

Posts: 129 | Registered: Jan 2011
beyondpain6107
♀ Member
Member # 15120
Default  Posted: 6:42 PM, January 16th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

in EVERY case I know this is true.

OW who is now his wife, looks like a man. Everyone thinks she is a lesbian, and a manly one at that. She had 4 affairs in her first marriage.

There are other things about her, but I don't have enough time to list it all

Goes to show affairs are NOT about the BS


Me-BS(then 35)
Divorced 2008
Married 15 years
D-Day 6/01/07
D-Day #2 7/25/07 - I'm so stupid for believing
Dday #3 2/19/08 False R - Was good for a while
D 7/16/08
2 Children S-17 D-14

Praising God everyday for setting me free.


Posts: 971 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Texas
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, January 18th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BUMP


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9952 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
hurttothebone
♀ Member
Member # 30767
Default  Posted: 3:58 PM, January 18th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump. Newbies need this.

Posts: 111 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: PA
AIHAH
♀ Member
Member # 19040
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, January 18th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is my favorite. If you can't laugh today at it, then you will in the future...


Giving my best one day at a time and so is my FWH. :)
AIHAH

Posts: 860 | Registered: Apr 2008
girlsbird
♀ Member
Member # 30877
Default  Posted: 5:05 PM, January 18th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As a newbie I want to Thank You for this. and oh baby did he ever "Affair Down" This "IT" (her nickname in my home) is so low she needs a step ladder to kiss the belly of a snake!


D-Day 10/28/10..almost admission 7/10 Reconciled. I was the betrayed

Posts: 1203 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: arizona
Hit_By_A_Hammer
♀ Member
Member # 30849
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, January 18th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

that was fascinating. When I first found out (by looking at her facebook page - nice!) I was bemused. She came across as shallow and boring, and judging by the photos she chose to put up on her profile, a fat, pug-faced troll.

Not that I'm saying I'd rather he'd chosen supermodels with Oxbridge PhDs, but that?! I wouldn't have cleaned the floor with her.


BS (me) 33, WH 33,1 son aged 5
OW 1 - sex twice, autumn 2000
OW 2 - not quite sex, Nov 2000
OW 3 - sex 4 times, c. 2003
OW 4 - sex on holiday, 2006, again, 2007
OW 5 - brief sexual relationship, 2008
OW 6 - sex once, c.2008
OW 7 - sex x 2, 2009/10

Posts: 482 | Registered: Jan 2011
hurttothebone
♀ Member
Member # 30767
Default  Posted: 8:36 PM, January 20th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Newbies need this. I know I still read it often. Thanks for the post. BUMP BUMP BUMP

Posts: 111 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: PA
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