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Honey, they always affair down

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myalterego posted 7/19/2011 15:39 PM

wow, just wow.

The OP just hit home. I'm tempted to forward this to my WH. Or the OW. But that won't accomplish anything except make me feel better for a moment. And feeling better for a moment isn't what I need. Because its like a high that goes away and leaves you at a new low. Instead, I will keep my equilibrium and strength and smile when I think of this.

beachbrenda posted 7/19/2011 16:00 PM

I guess I needed to read this again today. The problem I am having is this: I don't need to hear these words from others in my shoes. I need to hear these words from my own WH and I don't think I'll ever get them. He has ended the A (well, she ended actually, but he is no longer interested). He tells me all the time that he will never do this again. He tells me that he will work on our R and M. He tells me that I need to heal and he will do whatever he can to help me heal. BUT he won't talk badly about OW/xBF. And THAT kills me!!!

I truly can't understand what he saw in her. I know the woman--better than even he did. Okay, I never fucked her, but I know her heart, I know how she thinks, I know what lies she had to tell herself and him and me to keep this bullshit up for almost a year!!! I grew up with that c*** for God's sake! AND I just want to hear from him that she is a skanky, mother-fucking, piece of shit, whore faced bitch! (or something along those lines... ) But he doesn't speak ill of her and that just bites.

I want him to hate her as much as I do. I want him to tell me that she is NOTHING compared to me. I want to hear from him that chosing her--or anyone for that matter--over me was stupid and selfish and fruitless. I want to hear how amazing I am for trying R after he fucked up so badly. I want, I want, I want...

Sorry for the rant... and BTW, now I know what 'bump' means. Thanks!

2yrs+recovering posted 7/19/2011 16:50 PM

I want him to hate her as much as I do

This was always very important to me. I actually made my WH say it.

He should hate her if only because her actions hurt me. This does not discount what he did. WH should do what makes you feel better!

Amazonia posted 7/19/2011 18:14 PM

Another AMEN here!

My STBXH's cumdumpster is everything you said - especially trash!!

MyUnbearablePain posted 7/19/2011 21:23 PM

This post is great! I have been struggling to understand how my WH could possibly downgrade as extreme as he did. This homewrecking bitch is so freaking ugly, you wouldn't even believe it.

One of the most common comments I've heard about her is that she looks like a man! She has an ugly face, double chins, a dumpy body best described by one of my friends as a "squatty dumptruck" and a haircut that looks like she stuck her finger in an electrical socket. It is so hard to wrap my mind around this extreme downgrade, so I'm finding this post really helpful.

I do agree that the OW is often a predator. In fact I just described her this way today to my WH before I read this post. She was a "friend" who was there to comfort him and help him de-stress when we were having problems.

More like a pathetic and trashy predator who saw an opportunity to get with a MM while he was not thinking straight. Talk about low class and no morals. Not that I'm saying my WH wasn't to blame too- he definitely was. But if this skank was actually a friend to him, she would've encouraged him to work on his marriage and not help him be unfaithful and possibly ruin his marriage.

mmrichet posted 7/19/2011 21:45 PM

You should really feel so proud that your words truely hit home for somany of us!!
Thank you again,cause I needed to read that tonight..

frustrated6 posted 7/20/2011 07:04 AM

so glad I found this post this morning Very well put

Rise_Above posted 7/21/2011 08:48 AM

this_sucks posted 7/21/2011 13:09 PM

My wife definately went to the bottom of the barrel to find hers. When they met almost 3 years ago she had left me and met him then when she found out he was still sleeping around she wanted to come back to me and I let her without knowing about him.

Last summer he was in an accident and his married sister, that knows my wife is with me called her to say he might not make it (too bad he did) and she knew he would want her to come see him, when he woke up from coma he gave her a I want you back letter.

So this year we had decided I was going to move out to get pain meds straightened out (2 back surgeries lots of pain) she says she contacted him to get him back for cheating on her 3 years ago, I guess because I wouldnt be home, it gave her something to do.

Anyway I have one year till retirement from Military, him 30 years old, thinks he can be a singer, lives with mom, no car, no job, loves to smoke pot, and drive around back roads drinking bear.

Jrazz posted 7/21/2011 14:23 PM

Long live this post!!!! I'm always glad to see it again.

Angry_and_Hurt posted 7/21/2011 16:15 PM

I have to say that reading this post makes me feel so much better.

Thank you for the great post and keeping it alive.

A little self esteem boost never hurt anyone

momtobdestroyed posted 7/22/2011 02:20 AM

i reread this again,and i must say this single post has been one of the most healing things i have ever read. it saved my self esteem and helped me look at myself with respect and honor. thank you for this gift!

fragilehwc posted 7/25/2011 11:48 AM

goodness, this fits ww to a "T". OW has been in ER four times in the last 3 months, has a tumor and a drain in head for tumor. and because of tumor had to have gastric bypass one year ago and has had a hernia because of it. she looks 45 but is only 32.
Me have been told i look 30yo but a i am 43yo. no joke. thanks to never smoking no to drugs. yes i am 280 lbs,have hypothyroidism, light asthma,and a history of depression. however i've never been to ER until about three years ago for an abcess in my lower leg. otherwise i am healthy.

Edie posted 8/8/2011 14:49 PM


Cee64D posted 8/13/2011 20:27 PM

Jrazz posted 8/20/2011 13:32 PM

Bumppetty Bump Bump!

Take2 posted 8/23/2011 22:50 PM


katieboo posted 8/24/2011 00:34 AM

Very, very true. The most recent OW sent me an email telling me she just took my WH out for a "test drive." She told me "You are insecure and not attractive so get a tummy tuck and wear some makeup...Maybe that would help." I am insecure but not unattractive. She is very unattractive however, but think she's very hot. I also do NOT need a tummy tuck as my stomach is the one thing I take pride in and I wear makeup everyday- it's just natural and not in bright blues, greens and whore looking like hers. I didn't respond to her email but want so badly to tell her "You are the woman who screwed my husband in a hotel bathroom while your two children were sleeping in the beds...You win the mother of the year award!" I mean seriously, what kind of trash does that. (Yes, I include my WH in that statement. Even to this day that part of the A is what bugs me the most) She is trash, she makes everything about her....when my WH told her no more she told him he wouldn't be able to stay away. She resorted to saying she was pregnant. She is desperate and all I can do is pray that someday she gets what she deserves.

Cee64D posted 8/25/2011 20:07 PM

surviving101 posted 8/27/2011 21:05 PM

Thank you... you have made it so much clearer... GOD BLESS YOU.

debi9kids posted 8/27/2011 21:22 PM

Oh wow.
Today is my D-Day and my husband isn't home. He's at work, because of the hurricane, in another state where OW lives and although we are doing great 1 year later, I still was feeling SO low.
Incredibly low.

And much as ALL of the comments seem to agree, this is perfection.
OW was SUCH a downgrade from me and I just couldn't understand it and allowed it to wreck havoc on my low, low self-esteem (basically feeling that if he could go with her, what must he really think of me...)

I will also agree though that OW is a predator. She is a re-peat offender, with ours being the 3rd marriage she has tried to destroy. (the other 2 she was successful)

Sorry, I'm being so long-winded.
Thank you! Sincerely.
Thank you.

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