I was not looking for anything earth shattering about this woman, but boy did I get my monies worth from my PI. Apparently she used to work at a local strip club!! This explains why a woman with a masters degree in accounting and a decent job, is working every Saturday night at a bar right next door to another strip club. She obviously has a thing for strip clubs.
Now for the jaw dropping part. The PI was able to give me the Ow's "baby daddy's" name. I took the name and did my own online search. Just curious. Damn!! This guy has his entire body covered in tattoos and piercings. He also has pics of himself doing something called "body suspension". For those who have no idea what that is...like myself..until now. This guy had 5 huge steel hooks (looks like fish hooks) put thru the upper part of his back/shoulder area, and he was suspended from a tree to just hang in mid air. These pics almost made me sick.
Now...for the absolute clincher....the father of the ow's baby was charged last month with indecent liberties with a child/under 6yrs of age, and put under 1.6 million bond!! This is the element that the ow lives around!! My wh is a cop!! I think he has completely lost his damn mind!
I no longer worry about my self esteem when it comes to this complete piece of trash. The title of this thread is soo true.
[This message edited by Sas! at 8:27 AM, November 5th (Saturday)]
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, however, if faced with courage, need not be live
Thanks for bumping this.
John 3:17 - For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.
Why is she the bottom of the pack anymore than he is? He definitely used her to boost his self esteem, but she did the same to him. She adored him and looked up to him like god, but she knows I'm better than her in EVERYTHING but got him to "fall in love" with her so quickly nonetheless. I'm sure that was an ego booster too.
It would have been nice to truly believe this, please convince me :)
[This message edited by wtf2 at 11:45 AM, November 21st (Monday)]
OW: 45, married 22 yrs w/2 kids
She adored him and looked up to him like god, but she knows I'm better than her in EVERYTHING but got him to "fall in love" with her so quickly nonetheless. I'm sure that was an ego booster too.
Your H did most likely was 'in lust' and 'in love' with the amphetamine high of the A and the OW's handmaiden adoration, not the OW herself.
Dbb's original post wording is very similar to your observations above:
"The self assured, the strong, the healthy will not do as those women want nothing to do with a married man. Our wayward husbands, needy and looking for someone to boost his ego, must look for someone beneath them, someone who will look up to him, someone who will make him feel superior, if only temporarily. What better way for an insecure person to feel powerful, and admired, than to pick the least of the bunch? The fact is … they always trade down. If she happens to be prettier, or thinner – it’s just pure luck that the wrapping is worth more than the gift inside. What’s inside, is no match for you. You’re beautiful, and faithful, strong and possibly the mother of his children. The truth is, the OW could be anyone, anyone slow enough to be caught and willing to accept what little our husbands had to offer."
I still think my H is a POS, and the joke is on him, because I will be smiling at him all day today, and he'll think I'm being all nice and loving, when in fact, I'll be thinking of this post.
wondering whether to give it to him to read later tonight.... ????
You should know that everyone thinks I'm an idiot for what I've done. They always say things like "why would you leave the perfect girl for her? " and "you downgraded".
So, even if YOU cannot see it in the beginning due to the trauma of the A, they all really do AFFAIR DOWN!!!
[This message edited by letmego at 7:19 PM, December 4th (Sunday)]
As a result of reading this thread, I decided to search for some of those "OW" forums.
I wouldn't recommend it close to DDay, but it was a real eye opener.
The justifications they use are amazing, and the "support" they give each other ("honey, it is not YOUR fault. It is something missing in his marriage"), the lies they swallow ("my poor MM has not gotten sex from his wife in 8 years. How can his wife expect him to live like that?") are incredible.
My favourite though was the one who said, "My MM so badly wants to leave his wife but she knows about us and told him that if he leaves, he will never see his children again. What kind of woman stays with a man who doesn't want her?" yes, because here at JFO we all know that the BS has the power to make it so that the WS can't see their children again, right?
I will be the first to admit that before DDay I was naive, but I believed what I did based on vows taken and 16 years of shared history. The level of stupidity needed to be an AP proves that indeed, they do always affair down.