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Newest Member: 2ndtimernd (45746)

Just Found Out     Print Topic    
User Topic: Honey, they always affair down
fullofanger
♀ Member
Member # 34162
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, March 30th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I needed to read this again. Mow is such a disgusting skank........
I feel better now, thank you.

Posts: 132 | Registered: Dec 2011
BEM817
♀ Member
Member # 35104
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, April 13th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Had to bump this one again. It was food for my soul in the first few days following DDay


Married 14 years, together for 20
BS Me - 42
WS Husband - 43
Two Kids 8 & 9
DDay 3/15/12 8 month EA. PA for 5 of those months.

Posts: 164 | Registered: Mar 2012
standinghere
♂ Member
Member # 34689
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, April 13th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sri624 posted this in another line. I couldn't think of any better place to put this. She really hit it on the head.

but she turned out to be just as pathetic as the entire affair was

That is a great way to put it.

It is pathetic, in every case that I've ever known of, and in my WS's and her AP's case as well. He was pathetic in several ways, the only thing he had going for him was a large penis and the fact that he didn't have much work so he had the time to fool around during the daytime.

My brother and his AP were pathetic in so many ways as well.

As were my SIL's and their AP's.

Pathetic behavior by people acting pathetic and not dealing with their life issues in a constructive manner. It doesn't matter if the WS or the AP is a doctor, lawyer, banker, preacher, nurse, stay at home parent, pilot, model, physical therapist, logger, drunkard, bum, saint, coworker, professor, president, governor, heiress, construction worker, soldier, sailor, tinker, or spy. They are all acting pathetic, and not dealing with life's issues in an honorable manner.


BH - Me - Late 30's (now late 40's)
WW - Her - Late 30's (now late 40's)
4 Children
Her - Love of my life...still is.
Reconciled - Partly...she can't get over it.
Her - Thunderstruck by what she did.

Posts: 1026 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: USA
ICrossMyHeart
♀ New Member
Member # 35266
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, April 13th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That they do. I've never heard it said better then that. Thank you for that


Me: BS-40
WS-39
2children
Married almost 15yrs, cat lasted longer then our marriage. Been together bout 20 years
DD-Multi EA's July11/Jan12
DD-Sept11 Supposed only PA in 2008

Posts: 41 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: cen cali
DixieDiamondfly
♀ Member
Member # 34830
Default  Posted: 11:58 PM, April 13th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow! Thank you so much for this. I know it was written several years ago, but wow! I sure needed to read this tonight.


BS: Me, 53 yrs. young
WS: Him, 56 yo
KIDS: 29 yo son, 27 yo son, 22 yo daughter...and three wonderful grandsons
Married 31 yrs.
D-Day #1: 2/8/12
D-Day #2: 7/16/2012
Beginning R

Posts: 126 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Gulf Coast
hurting7897
♀ Member
Member # 34761
Default  Posted: 12:39 AM, April 14th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That was amazing. Thank you!!!


Married 20 years
Me-BS-51
Him-FWH-46 "healing4us2"
2 kids, DD 12 and DS 16
D-day #1 Jan. 30,2012
D-day #2 April 12, 2012
D-day #3 April 15, 2012
June 24, 2012--Decided to R.
January 21, 2014-Forgave him! Life is sweet!

Posts: 226 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: united states
broken <3
♀ Member
Member # 35098
Default  Posted: 12:48 AM, April 14th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank god I just read this!! Thank you thank you!!


Me - BS mother of 15 month old identical twin girls (conceived during HB)
Him - serial cheater
R? Still not sure if this is a deal breaker...

Posts: 459 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: West coast Canada
newnormal
♀ Member
Member # 21925
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, April 17th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


BS 43 (me)
FWH 48
D-day 9/07

Dont retreat, reload.
"Pull that knife out of your back - and sever the fuel line to that bus you got thrown under" Bufffalo


Posts: 1033 | Registered: Dec 2008
NeedMoreTime
♀ Member
Member # 33677
Default  Posted: 3:52 AM, April 18th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read this in the midst of DDays 2 & 3, but I was too raw to really appreciate it at the time.

Now, a heartfelt "thank you." WH had an online/sexting A when we were only dating. Three months after we were married, he had a ONS (he still says no sex...please explain, then, where the fuck I got chlymadia from) with someone he met on a plane to come visit me while we were both active duty and had separate duty stations. Then he goes TDY for training, and as I'm still fighting for the truth about the ONS, he carries on an EA with an old fling and is driving to her house to have sex when I call.

The sexting A, the girl was active duty as well; she was married and when WH got orders to our current station (3 hours from her station), asked him to drive up there to have a threesome with her and her H. Told him he wouldn't have to pay for a hotel, he could sleep on their couch

ONS knew he was married, knew we were only not living together bc I was active duty and only had 2 months left on my orders/enlistment so they didn't move me with him. Still she gave him her number and invited him to sleep at her apartment after they met up to bar hop. Her apartment that she shared with FIVE roommates to be able to afford the rent

OW3 did not finish HS, lost custody of her son to her baby daddy (and in Texas, that's really saying something), got fired from her job at the gas station, and has a good 50 pounds on me. Did I forget to mention that she has a man face?

The only thing any of them have that I don't? Two have red hair (a fetish of WH's). They all have a lack of respect for marriage, and they all are stupid enough to carry on with a man who obviously has no respect for them.

I am educated, very attractive (so my friends tell me, and I used to believe), funny, a great mother, and a loving and faithful wife. They can't compete with me.

My mind knows this...but today, my heart really needed the reminder.


BW

Multiple D-days, 2/4/11, 10/21/11, 10/27/2011, 11/28/11
Trying R...going well.

How can our wounds become scars if the bleeding doesn't stop?


Posts: 133 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Wyoming
Downrightpissed
♀ New Member
Member # 35347
Default  Posted: 6:21 AM, April 18th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow! That was probably the most awesome post I have read on here. I am a newbie..only 4 months out and what u said brought my self esteem up 10 notches, The other woman in my case is just that..Not attracticve at all. Almost made me feel worse as to why he would go for that..but your right..she looked up to him..probably did things and said things that boosted his ego. But in reality, she is a low life home wrecker that has no morals, or self esteem. He is fighting for me, and easily dumped her in the trash where she belongs , which I know is killing her because she tried so hard to get him to leave me. So thank you for giving this newbie a new way of looking at my situation and the self esteem boost to get through another day!!


Me. BS. 40
WH - 41 PA 4 years
DDAY 12/7/11
Married 16 years
3 kids, 15,12 and 9
Currently trying to R

Posts: 42 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
LonelyHusband
♂ Member
Member # 34145
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, April 18th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's taken me a while to grasp this.

I thought for a long time that the concept "they always affair down" was simply the BS's circling the wagons and defending their already battered self confidence.

However, with the clarity of a little time I've come to realise that "they always affair down" is true. It has to be true, and for a very simple reason. If the affair partner had the same moral and ethical boundaries as the BS then they would tell the WS to F*ck off because they would not be prepared to get involved with a married person. In order to have an affair, you have to find someone with crap morals and personal standards.

so yeah, they always affair down.

[This message edited by LonelyHusband at 9:00 AM, April 18th (Wednesday)]


BS ( me) 41
fWS (OktoberMest) 35
D day #1 29/10/2011, D day #2 15/112011, D day #3 15/03/2012
Reconciling.
“It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”, is inadequate consolation when you vacuum up a child's hamster'

Posts: 1290 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: UK
standinghere
♂ Member
Member # 34689
Default  Posted: 1:45 AM, April 21st (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


BH - Me - Late 30's (now late 40's)
WW - Her - Late 30's (now late 40's)
4 Children
Her - Love of my life...still is.
Reconciled - Partly...she can't get over it.
Her - Thunderstruck by what she did.

Posts: 1026 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: USA
traditoperanni
♀ Member
Member # 32660
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, April 21st (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, this is so true. Just last night I asked my wh why did you pick on the pathetic
losers? they all had self esteem issues(except for one-she was the ex-escort he had affair with. She was just plain manipulative and self absorbed.) The most recent is my age (62) never been married, never had children,
just clung on to my wh for the past ten years. He said he tried to end it many times
but she threatened suicide. I said "So?" He also said she was so crazy he was afraid she would contact me.
Of course, I take everything he says with a grain of salt.


Me- BS (63)
Him-WS (63)
M- 42 yrs
dday#1 11/09, Dday #2 10/11 and many since
P.A.'s - too many to count
LTA's too many to count (one for 37 yrs)
escorts etc- way too many to count.
Broken heart- too many times to count.
R- Getting bet

Posts: 430 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
Maddy66
♀ New Member
Member # 35408
Default  Posted: 12:45 AM, April 22nd (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Could not have read this at a better time...after 2 years of being accused of being crazy and jealous ...when the facts were right there...i really needed this ...Thank you ..thank you..for your words..they brought me back to my sanity..it's time i take back my life..

Posts: 2 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Canada
Lostllama
♂ New Member
Member # 34956
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, April 26th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BS Only

[This message edited by Deeply Scared at 4:20 PM, May 9th (Wednesday)]


~LL

Posts: 17 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: lostllama
Junco
♀ Member
Member # 35269
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, April 26th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What’s is attractive about the OW is that they are the sickest, the weakest, the most injured of the pack. The insecure WH, wanting to feel strong and powerful, scans the herd for the easiest to kill.

Wow, you know my WH?

You are so right, they do look for the weak, the lost, the fragile, and then leave them worse off than they were. Truly, looking at it this way, I feel a bit sorry for both WH and OW: neither of them would be in this predicament if they had a grain of...sense...self-respect...morals...love for someone other than themselves...

Junco


"Pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living." -Mother Jones

Posts: 256 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: MD
Edie
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, May 4th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumpety bump


Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 5147 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
BEM817
♀ Member
Member # 35104
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, May 14th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Had to bump this one again. 6 weeks past dday and I still reread it from time to time...


Married 14 years, together for 20
BS Me - 42
WS Husband - 43
Two Kids 8 & 9
DDay 3/15/12 8 month EA. PA for 5 of those months.

Posts: 164 | Registered: Mar 2012
isthisforreal
♀ Member
Member # 30926
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, May 14th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And the only thing that could make this topic better is if we could post the LOSERS pics here! I have a freaking doozy that would make you all


BW me 47
WH him 52
married 24 years
DD 9/15/10
3 incredible teenage daughters
"it only hurts when I breathe"

Posts: 256 | Registered: Jan 2011
nordicbabe
♀ Member
Member # 35419
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, May 14th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a hard time believing he affaired down. She's 20 years younger, at least 20 pounds lighter, at least 20 centimeters shorter and generally a big ball of sunshine and happiness.

So I hate her.


Posts: 1468 | Registered: Apr 2012
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