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Honey, they always affair down

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fullofanger posted 3/30/2012 19:36 PM

I needed to read this again. Mow is such a disgusting skank........
I feel better now, thank you.

BEM817 posted 4/13/2012 19:27 PM

Had to bump this one again. It was food for my soul in the first few days following DDay

standinghere posted 4/13/2012 19:34 PM

Sri624 posted this in another line. I couldn't think of any better place to put this. She really hit it on the head.

but she turned out to be just as pathetic as the entire affair was

That is a great way to put it.

It is pathetic, in every case that I've ever known of, and in my WS's and her AP's case as well. He was pathetic in several ways, the only thing he had going for him was a large penis and the fact that he didn't have much work so he had the time to fool around during the daytime.

My brother and his AP were pathetic in so many ways as well.

As were my SIL's and their AP's.

Pathetic behavior by people acting pathetic and not dealing with their life issues in a constructive manner. It doesn't matter if the WS or the AP is a doctor, lawyer, banker, preacher, nurse, stay at home parent, pilot, model, physical therapist, logger, drunkard, bum, saint, coworker, professor, president, governor, heiress, construction worker, soldier, sailor, tinker, or spy. They are all acting pathetic, and not dealing with life's issues in an honorable manner.

ICrossMyHeart posted 4/13/2012 19:42 PM

That they do. I've never heard it said better then that. Thank you for that

DixieDiamondfly posted 4/13/2012 23:58 PM

Wow! Thank you so much for this. I know it was written several years ago, but wow! I sure needed to read this tonight.

hurting7897 posted 4/14/2012 00:39 AM

That was amazing. Thank you!!!

broken <3 posted 4/14/2012 00:48 AM

Thank god I just read this!! Thank you thank you!!

newnormal posted 4/17/2012 12:31 PM


NeedMoreTime posted 4/18/2012 03:52 AM

I read this in the midst of DDays 2 & 3, but I was too raw to really appreciate it at the time.

Now, a heartfelt "thank you." WH had an online/sexting A when we were only dating. Three months after we were married, he had a ONS (he still says no sex...please explain, then, where the fuck I got chlymadia from) with someone he met on a plane to come visit me while we were both active duty and had separate duty stations. Then he goes TDY for training, and as I'm still fighting for the truth about the ONS, he carries on an EA with an old fling and is driving to her house to have sex when I call.

The sexting A, the girl was active duty as well; she was married and when WH got orders to our current station (3 hours from her station), asked him to drive up there to have a threesome with her and her H. Told him he wouldn't have to pay for a hotel, he could sleep on their couch

ONS knew he was married, knew we were only not living together bc I was active duty and only had 2 months left on my orders/enlistment so they didn't move me with him. Still she gave him her number and invited him to sleep at her apartment after they met up to bar hop. Her apartment that she shared with FIVE roommates to be able to afford the rent

OW3 did not finish HS, lost custody of her son to her baby daddy (and in Texas, that's really saying something), got fired from her job at the gas station, and has a good 50 pounds on me. Did I forget to mention that she has a man face?

The only thing any of them have that I don't? Two have red hair (a fetish of WH's). They all have a lack of respect for marriage, and they all are stupid enough to carry on with a man who obviously has no respect for them.

I am educated, very attractive (so my friends tell me, and I used to believe), funny, a great mother, and a loving and faithful wife. They can't compete with me.

My mind knows this...but today, my heart really needed the reminder.

Downrightpissed posted 4/18/2012 06:21 AM

Wow! That was probably the most awesome post I have read on here. I am a newbie..only 4 months out and what u said brought my self esteem up 10 notches, The other woman in my case is just that..Not attracticve at all. Almost made me feel worse as to why he would go for that..but your right..she looked up to him..probably did things and said things that boosted his ego. But in reality, she is a low life home wrecker that has no morals, or self esteem. He is fighting for me, and easily dumped her in the trash where she belongs , which I know is killing her because she tried so hard to get him to leave me. So thank you for giving this newbie a new way of looking at my situation and the self esteem boost to get through another day!!

LonelyHusband posted 4/18/2012 09:00 AM

It's taken me a while to grasp this.

I thought for a long time that the concept "they always affair down" was simply the BS's circling the wagons and defending their already battered self confidence.

However, with the clarity of a little time I've come to realise that "they always affair down" is true. It has to be true, and for a very simple reason. If the affair partner had the same moral and ethical boundaries as the BS then they would tell the WS to F*ck off because they would not be prepared to get involved with a married person. In order to have an affair, you have to find someone with crap morals and personal standards.

so yeah, they always affair down.

[This message edited by LonelyHusband at 9:00 AM, April 18th (Wednesday)]

standinghere posted 4/21/2012 01:45 AM


traditoperanni posted 4/21/2012 10:38 AM

Wow, this is so true. Just last night I asked my wh why did you pick on the pathetic
losers? they all had self esteem issues(except for one-she was the ex-escort he had affair with. She was just plain manipulative and self absorbed.) The most recent is my age (62) never been married, never had children,
just clung on to my wh for the past ten years. He said he tried to end it many times
but she threatened suicide. I said "So?" He also said she was so crazy he was afraid she would contact me.
Of course, I take everything he says with a grain of salt.

Maddy66 posted 4/22/2012 00:45 AM

Could not have read this at a better time...after 2 years of being accused of being crazy and jealous ...when the facts were right there...i really needed this ...Thank you ..thank you..for your words..they brought me back to my's time i take back my life..

Lostllama posted 4/26/2012 20:01 PM

BS Only

[This message edited by Deeply Scared at 4:20 PM, May 9th (Wednesday)]

Junco posted 4/26/2012 21:31 PM

What’s is attractive about the OW is that they are the sickest, the weakest, the most injured of the pack. The insecure WH, wanting to feel strong and powerful, scans the herd for the easiest to kill.

Wow, you know my WH?

You are so right, they do look for the weak, the lost, the fragile, and then leave them worse off than they were. Truly, looking at it this way, I feel a bit sorry for both WH and OW: neither of them would be in this predicament if they had a grain for someone other than themselves...


Edie posted 5/4/2012 14:25 PM

Bumpety bump

BEM817 posted 5/14/2012 10:49 AM

Had to bump this one again. 6 weeks past dday and I still reread it from time to time...

isthisforreal posted 5/14/2012 11:27 AM

And the only thing that could make this topic better is if we could post the LOSERS pics here! I have a freaking doozy that would make you all

nordicbabe posted 5/14/2012 13:45 PM

I have a hard time believing he affaired down. She's 20 years younger, at least 20 pounds lighter, at least 20 centimeters shorter and generally a big ball of sunshine and happiness.

So I hate her.

suckstobeme posted 5/14/2012 15:52 PM


He did. You wil see. Sometimes it takes a little more time to see how ugly the AP is on the inside when he or she is not horrible looking.

Trust us though, she's hideous. You will get snippets of her personality as time goes on and this post and mantra will become more and more clear.

Looks don't matter. I know they do in the beginning because that's all we usually have to go on. But they don't matter as time goes on. Her morals are obviously shitty. She is projecting sunshine and roses because her private life is fucked up. Her personality could be bitchy, clingy, crazy, possessive, nasty, controlling, all the things that we are not because we gave real love.

Don't worry. Her real colors will shine through and then your stbxwh will be kicking himself in the ass for the authentic love that he ditched.

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