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Just Found Out     Print Topic    
User Topic: Honey, they always affair down
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumped for imshockedandhurt

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 5542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Europe
♀ Member
Member # 38604
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I loved it so much, I posted it on HER Facebook wall... Lol, I can't see her profile anymore so I'm guessing that she's probably finally blocked me 100%. F'n cow. I hope many got to read it before she deleted it.

ME - BS 50, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 26,16, 15 and 13
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

Posts: 475 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Texas
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

cher, If she was to google the text, she would come straight here.

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 5542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Europe
♀ Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, that's some powerful stuff. But, what about the OW my WS lied to?? They had no idea he was married, had kids, or even knew his real age.

Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, April 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5378 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
♀ Member
Member # 27947
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


BS me
WS him x2 A's
1 autistic DS

I'd never have spent the money on a wedding dress if I knew I was just going to a costume party.

Posts: 1992 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: Wisconsin
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 3:06 AM, May 7th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some may call me a prude but......

Just after she found out she was pregnant to her boyfriend with her second child OW3's daughter posted this on her FB

OW3 "liked" her post.

She and the boyfriend then went on to discuss whether she deserved "cunnilingus" for the meal she had just cooked and whether he was entitled to a BJ in return.

All publicly on FB!!!

Maybe there is something wrong with me but I would curl up in a ball of shame if my daughter did that.

(BTW 60 yr old OW3 gave FWH a BJ each time they met. They would lie in bed, chat for a while and then she would say "Well there are better things I could be doing with my mouth" and then get to work EVERY TIME!!!)

By my standards he definitely affaired down.

Married 33yrs Me BW 59Yrs Him FWH 61yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA 16+ years).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2772 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
♀ New Member
Member # 39168
Default  Posted: 5:33 AM, May 7th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh I love this! I havemsdeva copy and I sent it to OW via email ( she replied she agreed but she wasn't trash - I told her no she was dirtier than trash!) then FB to all her friends and family telling them who I was lol ! Felt good at the time

Posts: 25 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Australia
♀ Member
Member # 38977
Default  Posted: 6:55 AM, May 7th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well what happens if the OW is also married ?

Posts: 92 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ Member
Member # 32858
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I always have loved this thread. SO true!!

Posts: 62 | Registered: Jul 2011
New Member
Member # 39498
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is so H left me for my best friend who has slept with everyone at work and in town..she is cronically depressed and cold person who has a bad childhood with a father who took her to his whores house as he H has been with her one year now,,they both look like shit and he says he is so unhappy...he has ruined my life as well as his own...he has called me all me gifts, money and saying he wants us back,,but as he never left her and never leaves her side(they don't trust eachother) they sit at home friends...he has cheated 4 times in the 11 years we were together.she is nummbr 5..but thes other women were unaware he was married...this one knew

Posts: 6 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Sweden
♀ Member
Member # 39377
Default  Posted: 12:02 AM, June 10th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Saving a copy of this awesomeness!

Posts: 70 | Registered: May 2013
Getting to Happy
♀ Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, June 19th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumped for Phoebesma and other newbies in pain and confusion.

WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.

Posts: 1254 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
♀ Member
Member # 39551
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, June 19th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is awesome, I love you.

Its even more of a zinger in my case because my WH had an EA that he begged for and destroyed himself for to be a PA (actually he wanted to live with her forever and ever blah blah blah) and she wouldn't go there. She stayed strong for her marriage and her son. Then he now, a year later, has thoughts of how she wasn't good enough for him.

I think I'm the only one on SI that admires the OW somewhat. Should she have flirted? No. Should she have pumped him all up? No. But I don't think he was truly "affairing down". Would I love to smack her for toying with him and causing him enormous work trouble? Yeah. I don't understand how she gets to be totally unaccountable there but oh well. Karma can deal with her. Meanwhile I'm enjoying the fact that he couldn't even get this right.

As I sit back and try and compose myself and my future this is one of the things I think of - it wasn't her, not this time, but there will be more because of all the things you said here - he's broken, unless he gets "fixed" I don't even want him, I can survive him, I just have to try and make the best decisions first for my son and then for me during a very emotional time.

Posts: 557 | Registered: Jun 2013
♀ Member
Member # 39570
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, June 19th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love this. This is very true in my case, each and every single time. WH even admits this.

Me: BS, Him: WH
8/08: EA with former neighbor
1/13: EA/Sexting with Coworker #1
6/13: Sexting with Coworker #2

Posts: 132 | Registered: Jun 2013
♀ New Member
Member # 39559
DOH!  Posted: 6:22 AM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was talking with a customer at the bar about affairs a few days ago and he said, "If my wife is going to cheat on me, she could at least have the good sense to make it with Brad Pitt, or someone actually worth hurting me for."
I feel much the same way about WS's choice. Really? That chick with all the tatts who's dressed like a street-walker. Has 3 children by different father's and dropped out of high school. She doesn't even have a car. Her friends have to go pick her up. And she is supposed to be in promotions. How do you make a living when you have to depend on everyone else to get to work?
"She's actually a really cool person at the concerts and stuff.", WS said.
"What? When she's not being a home-wrecker?"
Before she had confronted me and told me what was going on, forcing him to tell the truth, I had seen their correspondences. "You got what you wanted from me and now you're ignoring me. I'm not like your stupid stripper girlfriend. I can see what is going on. No wonder I have such a low self-esteem and issues with me."
I thought to myself that you've got to have a low self-esteem to be pursuing a man who is in a relationship. If he is, in fact, going to end it, let him handle his business before you go pounding your dirty, blown out vag all over him.
Really? You wanted to have sex with that? Stretch marks, c-sections scars? Compared to the 100 lb center-fold you've got at home?
He always has attracted the lowest the of the low. Case and point, his ex was a crack-head.

Posts: 10 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: New Jersey
♀ Member
Member # 39734
Default  Posted: 4:51 PM, July 5th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

THIS is what brought me to this site. I found it during a google search while looking for help. I have printed it out and read it every day!

Married 8yrs
Together 11 1/2
Me~ 3 kids, 21,17,14
Him~no kids
A with a mutual "friend" for 2+yrs
He confessed 9/9/12
A was over 2/12
7/13~ Happier than we have been in yrs!

Posts: 240 | Registered: Jul 2013
♂ Member
Member # 22306
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, July 5th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FWW hooked up with an MOM that was about 100lbs overweight and looked like Shrek. Go figure.

Edited to add that I still hate all shrek movies.

[This message edited by tooanalytical at 7:35 PM, July 5th (Friday)]

Me BH 44
FWW 44
Married 21 years
D-Day Apr 29, 2008
Children: 19,17,14
EA/PA - 1 year
Status: R

Posts: 313 | Registered: Jan 2009
♀ Member
Member # 38805
Default  Posted: 7:46 PM, July 5th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When my husband told his two friends who he'd cheated on me with, one laughed in disbelief and the other said, "If you were going to cheat on her, you could have cheated on her with someone better".

Posts: 309 | Registered: Mar 2013
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, July 5th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I believe in this sentiment, yes.

But, OW in the case of STBX is walking off into the sunset with him and he is leaving a 20 year marriage, home he built, daughter and unborn child...all for this ...person.

Yet, I believe in the message of the original post here too, especially from the one brief interaction I had with her before I cut it off. She was ready to fight me tooth and nail for a cheating liar, while his wife is at home pregnant...and you know, OW knows he cheated on her with me, but I can't handle the pain he dishes out anymore.

I think I could write for many days on this part of the subject, but think this is true, too Edie.

And this "great catch" that STBX will pay and pay and pay, with money she won't get, until he is retirement age! He boasted of this house we built and she won't get that either, though she "got him".

He is NPD/PA/SA and she...a fool.

Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

Posts: 2631 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
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