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Just Found Out     Print Topic    
User Topic: Honey, they always affair down
DancinOnThinIce
♀ New Member
Member # 29873
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump again.


Me: BW
Him: WH
OW
Kids: 3 DD
D Day: 9/23/10
Status: R

I've never been good at sharing. ~ me


Posts: 31 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: dancinonthinice
strongerdaybyday
♀ Member
Member # 40264
Default  Posted: 10:40 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

New member here! Boy was that something I needed to read! and it's true. He's begging for me to forgive and told her to f*ck off and that I was irreplaceable. She said, "I can change your mind" he said, "no, no you can't"

Thanks for this!!


Me-BW Him - WH
Married 6 years, together 13+ years
D-Day Summer 2013
children-3
If it is what it is then what is it?

**If I edit I'm correcting a typo!**


Posts: 380 | Registered: Aug 2013
undonelife
♀ Member
Member # 38421
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Guess I'm not there yet. I feel he affaired up. She is 20 years younger. Skinny. Beautiful long hair. Has a nursing degree. I'm none of those those things. I'm 54 overweight thinning hair. They had a lot in common in the medical field & working for the same business. They texted all night and all day about work , life, kids, sex. 12,000 text +/- in 3 months. She was good in bed and always there anytime night or day for him in any possible way she could be. I can't compare. I don't really want to compare anyway. He's an ugly 52 year old man but she "loved" him anyway. Aside from her being a lying sack of shit & a weird egg for falling for an old man she's way more than me. Still working to get at the "he affaired down" place. I 180'd him & was happy without him & he hightailed it back to me. He's working hard to repair but I wish we had just gone our separate ways.


Me: BS 53 Him: WH 51
M: 28 years
DDay 11/25/12 TT 9/9/13
OW:20 yrs younger McOW
Kids: 2 teens

Posts: 186 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Dark Hell
purplejacket4
♀ Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 10:40 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Undone life:

OW has to be incredibly broken and without values to have an affair with someone twenty years older who is married with children. I know because my mother did that. She had big time daddy issues. On the surface she may have appeared better but underneath the superficial layer she was broken.


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2153 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
strongerdaybyday
♀ Member
Member # 40264
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with purplejacket - the OW for my WH has daddy issues as well - apparently, he was never around.


Me-BW Him - WH
Married 6 years, together 13+ years
D-Day Summer 2013
children-3
If it is what it is then what is it?

**If I edit I'm correcting a typo!**


Posts: 380 | Registered: Aug 2013
TS68
♀ Member
Member # 40211
Default  Posted: 10:48 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i appreciate this, but it does not make me feel any better because i dont care about her... i care about the fact that my husband does not love me anymore



Married 20 years

Posts: 180 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Midwest
strongerdaybyday
♀ Member
Member # 40264
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TS68 - did he say this to you? if he did i'm so sorry. if he didn't please know that an affair isn't about love, it's about selfishness and self-gratification. My WH says that "I never loved her. It was about sex, and someone that didn't argue with me."

At the time my WH cheated we were both stressed and arguing and he stupidly confided in her. She tried her hardest to break up our marriage because her son needs a father and our 3 children will "get over it". After he finally got his sense back he created a NC agreement with me regarding her. That's when she really ramped up her attempts to contact me to tell me her side of the story and that "I deserved the truth" when in reality she was pissed at him and was trying to hurt him.


Me-BW Him - WH
Married 6 years, together 13+ years
D-Day Summer 2013
children-3
If it is what it is then what is it?

**If I edit I'm correcting a typo!**


Posts: 380 | Registered: Aug 2013
phoenixrivers
♂ Member
Member # 38314
Default  Posted: 12:17 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I stand corrected:

Me: Ph.D.

OM: maintenance man, user and
drug addict

Not enough gumption (either of them) to find someone outside of work environment where they won't jeopardize their jobs.


Me: xBetrayedBF (xBBF)
Her: xWaywardGF (xWGF)
TT: 12/21/12
Splitsville: 1/6/13
DDay: 7/20/13
In active reconcilliation
"Nobody knows anybody...not that well." Tom Reagan, "Miller's Crossing"

Posts: 136 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: New Orleans, LA
emotionalgirl
♀ Member
Member # 40184
Default  Posted: 11:45 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

*BUMP*

Someone bumped this a few days after I came to SI, and even though I have never seen the OW, it made me feel tons better...bumping it for all the new folks. It is worth the read!

By the way....a million thanks to deathbybetrayal for the initial post.


1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R

Posts: 373 | Registered: Aug 2013
Girlietoo
♀ Member
Member # 38719
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The OW in our sitch is younger, skinner, and Engineer in Training...certainly seems to have a lot more going for her than I do.

However, I have something she doesn't have. Self respect and dignity. I would never stand for some old guy giving me 30mins of his time in the front seat of the car and then washing up to go home to his wife. She begged him to come see her "for coffee" she sent him half naked pictures... all to lure him to her. And he wouldn't go. That certainly proves that young and skinny didn't get her what she wanted.

Oh! My husband is an asshole for doing what he did. I don't blame her for corrupting him or anything of the sort. In fact, I feel as though he used and took advantage of a very nieve young woman who clearly has sexual issues.


Me- 40
Him- 47
March 9, 2013- the day my heart died

Posts: 247 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Canada
Broken6
♀ Member
Member # 40347
Default  Posted: 9:43 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump. I love this post and I copied to a word doc so I could read it often. It makes me feel better about a lousy situation. My WH was on my computer and found it. He made a snide comment. Doesn't make it any less true.


The grass isn't greener on the other side, it is greener where you water it.

Posts: 58 | Registered: Aug 2013
Blackhair
♀ Member
Member # 39451
Default  Posted: 10:25 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump! Love to read it again!


M: 10 years
DD:5 DS Twin: 2 yrs old
DDay: Earlier 2013, WS flew/met many times with a Philippine girl found online (20 yrs younger)
SA finalized 6 months after DD. divorcing...
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 175 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
Blackhair
♀ Member
Member # 39451
Default  Posted: 6:59 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump again!

[This message edited by Blackhair at 7:00 AM, September 7th (Saturday)]


M: 10 years
DD:5 DS Twin: 2 yrs old
DDay: Earlier 2013, WS flew/met many times with a Philippine girl found online (20 yrs younger)
SA finalized 6 months after DD. divorcing...
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 175 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
Broken6
♀ Member
Member # 40347
Default  Posted: 3:36 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So it doesn't go to page 2, bump it again. It really is uplifting. It cements what we all think, the OP is a bottom-feeder.


The grass isn't greener on the other side, it is greener where you water it.

Posts: 58 | Registered: Aug 2013
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I try to believe this and it makes sense, but he gave up 20 years of M for OW and a host of other things...ruined his life for her...still I believe a shred of this idea because it helps to explain the kind of person who wouldn't send him packing.

What it does is make me so sad for the person he's become, if this is the case...how did I ever think I knew him?


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2204 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Edie
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very glad to return and see that this has not fallen off into archive freefall yet and that it is being kept and bumped.


Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 5059 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
heartbrokeninaz
♀ Member
Member # 40779
Happy  Posted: 7:28 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great post! It is true 100% Even my spouse told me this about his PA. He chose her because he knew she would. Not that she was attractive, not smart, not even a person you can have a conversation with. We all need this reminder every day.


BW 40 (me)
WH 40
DDay 1 07/31/13 ONS with horseface
DDay 2 05/09/14 inappropriate texts
with another OW
One last shot

Posts: 195 | Registered: Sep 2013
MJane
♀ Member
Member # 40571
Default  Posted: 7:47 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for this - I was thinking the other day (as I cried at wedding photos) that while it kills me how he deceived me all these months how the hell could OW live being on beck & call for a lunch time sex session or when I was out of town - never being in public place, never introducing him to friends - what sort of a crappy existence would that be & what kind of a person wants that life knowing he is going home to an unsuspecting wife (he "no longer loves"!) - and the minute she forced the issue on my doorstep she got dropped - what kind of a woman takes that crap? I just don't want to feel I am as bad by keeping a H who showed deep disrespect and disloyalty...that is where the conflict comes in

Posts: 250 | Registered: Sep 2013
MJane
♀ Member
Member # 40571
Default  Posted: 7:49 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

strongerbytheday - my OW also wanted to "tell me the truth" to be fair to me (!!) Fair would be to keep clear of a married man with a pregnant wife....she wanted my life in every way - my home, my son, my H - and let me know she'd touched them all - sick

Posts: 250 | Registered: Sep 2013
suposd2btheonly1
♀ Member
Member # 40753
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Coming up on two months since my life took a turn for the worse and I'm so thankful I read this. Your post gave me a whole new way of thinking. Thank you so very much


Me: BW 31
Him: WH 30
OW: 22yo whore who is still planning her wedding
Married 3yrs, together 5
4 kids, all boys 14, 11, 4 and 8mos...I hope like hell they don't hurt someone the way he hurt their mama
Dday: August 9, 2013
S, until his head

Posts: 206 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
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