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Just Found Out     Print Topic    
User Topic: Honey, they always affair down
♂ Member
Member # 42430
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can see why this post has 44 pages of replies to it... PURE GOLD, BABY! 3 weeks after DDay, this has done more to restore my self esteem and get my mind on what I want. Brilliant post, truly.

Posts: 218 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Colorado
♀ New Member
Member # 42438
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is spot on!!

Posts: 7 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
♀ Member
Member # 41951
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The OW in my case was a broken woman incapable of having a meaningful relationship with anybody. WS was as used as she was. She is a very ugly individual, especially inside. She dumped WH as soon as she found another f**k.
I however, have my pride, morals and self esteem still intact.
Thanks for the reminder, after an emotionally tough day, I can still feel like a winner.

" He paved paradise and put up a parking lot"
BS - me
WS- him
married 26 years, together since kids
D- Day Jan 4 2014
PMA- starting this moment
R - in MC. WH is in IC

Posts: 148 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York
♀ Member
Member # 42406
Default  Posted: 3:14 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A lot of the time these women are just totally desperate for a man. That was the case with the OW in my case. Any man who is gainfully employed is a target.

Posts: 55 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Washington
♀ Member
Member # 23549
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, February 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I feel like I'm in a parallel universe... everything looks the same... but something's just not right...

Posts: 1257 | Registered: Apr 2009
♀ Member
Member # 42437
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, February 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

this post totally needs to always be permanently plastered like a sticky at the top of the newbie/just found out forum

so true in so many ways I am truly in a better mental place having read this after a hard weekend

(OW showed up at our home sat nite trying to introduce herself to my kids 6,8,10 and talk to my WH who finally had the courage to ignore her for a week)

OMG did he affair down

"The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."

"The darkest night is dispelled by the humblest of flames."

Posts: 554 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Maryland
♀ Member
Member # 38790
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, February 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been on here for a while. This is the first time I have seen this thread. I am at the point where I really pity the OW. But, if I was a newbie and still totally pissed at the OW...I would send her a copy of what we know the OW to be.

But, don't worry ladies. They know every day what they are. They must be miserable everyday of their lives if they are willing to be easy for a married man.

Not only did our fWH affair down...the OW lives her own self-induced KARMA every time she wakes up and continues to destroy herself. She has no self-esteem. No self-confidence. No self-worth. No moral values. No integrity. It can't get much worse than that. That must be Hell.

Me-BW 40
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends since 1993
Married 2004 with 2 toddlers
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.

Posts: 1421 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: PA
♀ Member
Member # 30498
Default  Posted: 1:29 AM, February 27th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are 3 OW that I am aware of with some major flirtations thrown in amongst them. Two were definitely PA, the other (OW3) I am not sure about but my GOD the women was hideous (I wish it was appropriate on SI to post pictures but obviously I can't). OW1 was my dearest friend and next-door neighbor of 15 years, PA had been going on for 5 years. After much counseling and healing it is obvious to me that both ex H and OW1 are sociopaths. OW2 who my ex is now living with (along with her 3 kids) is a very odd looking woman to put it kindly. Hardly someone you would risk your marriage for but who am I to judge anymore .

Last month my eldest son got married and Sir Shagalot brought OW2 to the wedding. I was inundated with people coming up to me, people I had never met, saying "WTF!". She basically looks like a guy with a very pronounced jaw. Even my kids have asked their father what he sees in her. Apparently the answer was "looks aren't everything". Well yes this is true. I guess ugly and sociopathic must be the new trend in couple matching.

Let it be said that I have yet to hear of an AP who isn't a complete train wreck. Even 3 years past D-Day I am still perplexed by this.


[This message edited by Ellejay at 1:30 AM, February 27th (Thursday)]

Married 25 years now divorced.
D-Day: 20/11/10
Me: 48.5 plus 10% GST
Him: mental age 6 (apologies to all 6 year olds)
Betrayal: Who cares anymore?

Posts: 1102 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Adelaide, South Australia
♀ Member
Member # 32943
Default  Posted: 5:21 PM, March 8th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me: BS, 40's.

Posts: 1871 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: West Coast
♂ New Member
Member # 41564
Default  Posted: 6:11 AM, March 9th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good Stuff,

Unless your WW, was the OW in the affair....what does that say about a husband's wife, that had an affair with a MM?

I've asked her, "How is it, you held me to one standard, but you let this individual use you, as an object?" How could you say, "I love you to a man that was cheating on his wife? In fact, you knew he had a history of multiple affairs and he even went so far as to laugh at it?" How did you feel knowing you were just one of his mistresses? And this was a man, you gambled with our life and marriage over?

Posts: 25 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: United States
♀ Member
Member # 42296
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, March 9th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have read this so many times in a row I've lost count. Love this.

Me: BW 28
Him: WH 28
DDay: 1/17/14

Posts: 68 | Registered: Feb 2014
♀ Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, March 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BUMP! Love this post!

Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 32
WBF: 29
Together 8 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...

Posts: 797 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4319 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
♀ Member
Member # 42758
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, March 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love this! OW is an alcoholic (per her STBXH) and leaves her kids 5 and 3 year old kids unsupervised while she goes picks up WH to take her to her house (we live across the street from one another until her house sells, so he doesn't drive there, bc apparently they are not seeing each other....yeah right!)

Kids: DD7
DDay: 12/31/2013
Married 15 years

You can't rationalize irrational behavior.

Posts: 137 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: North Carolina
♀ Member
Member # 42192
Default  Posted: 9:10 AM, March 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I saw this quote of FB today (I dont know how to insert a pic into the thread)

"most people mess up something good,
looking for something better only to end up with something worse"

I have to hold onto this tonight tonight. My self esteem is at a bit of a low ATM. OW is about 14 years younger than me, (I think skinnier) and hasnt had 6 babies ...

On any given day you have the power to say "my story is not going to end like this"
Me 41 BS
Him 41 WH
6 kids...7 weeks, 5,7,9,11&13
D day jan 29th 2014

Posts: 536 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Land down under
♀ New Member
Member # 42921
Default  Posted: 12:16 PM, March 27th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I want to bump this thread. I don't have self-esteem issues related to the OW per se, as she is a hot mess and I'm not. However, she is almost 14 years younger than me and that makes me feel depressed at times. Two things helped:

1. I compared pictures of myself at the same age with pictures of her. No problems there.

2. She has a partial plate from falling down and knocking her front teeth out when she was drunk (she is 31).

I won't list all the other things that are wrong with her here, as I feel like it's shooting fish in a barrel.

They're not Ms. Right, they're Ms. Right Now.

Posts: 16 | Registered: Mar 2014
New Member
Member # 42850
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All I can say is AWESOME and THANK YOU!!!!


Posts: 7 | Registered: Mar 2014
♀ Member
Member # 39476
Default  Posted: 5:40 AM, April 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I turned on the television this morning and the cable defaults to a particular channel. This morning @5:30 AM, one of those television judges, Paternity Court, summed up AP...

"He has a GF/W/SO and you are nothing but the sidepiece willing to do anything so that you can become the GF/W/SO".

ME Doing Better
WH Trying As Best He Can
Married 24 years
Status: Working towards friendship
D Day #1 - 2007 My gut told me
D Day #2 - 2010 His D told me
D Day #3 - 1/11/2013 OW Confirmed
LTA 7 years

Both feet pointed forward; positive

Posts: 508 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Inner Peace
♀ Member
Member # 38958
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, April 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


BW (me)42
WH 44
3 daughters, 1 son
Married 10 years, together 13
DDay 3/14/2013, four year PA
In R
"Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to the way they used to be."

Posts: 438 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Canada
♀ New Member
Member # 43008
Default  Posted: 3:52 AM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think I'll have to come back and read this again and again. It's killing me comparing myself to her.

Me-BS 38
Him- WH 41
5 kids ages 18,17,16, 8, and 1 (& one little boy in Heaven)
He had a ONS 4/1/14 D-day 4/3/14
Working to R

Posts: 19 | Registered: Apr 2014
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