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Just Found Out     Print Topic    
User Topic: Honey, they always affair down
♀ Member
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 7:25 AM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A lot of the time these women are just totally desperate for a man.

This was absolutely the case in my situation.

My God, she was actually pitiful the way she'd keep reaching out, desperately trying to contact him each time we'd block yet another avenue she'd used. First we blocked her from being able to text or call him on his cell phone after she kept texting him. Then, we blocked her from his email account after she resorted to email when she couldn't call or text anymore. We then blocked her from Facebook when she started contacting him through THAT source. She then began calling him at work and started skulking in the shadows in places she knew he'd be.

If it weren't so pitifully and feebly pathetic, I'd laugh at her sorrowful fat ass.

Oh, what the hell. I'll laugh anyway.

Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 4473 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 42863
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, April 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This thread is exactly what I needed to read today. I spent the first two weeks trying to figure out what she had that I didn't. The only things I came up with were more free time and a willingness to engage in degrading sex acts. This gives me more perspective.

When she would not stop rubbing my face in the sordid details of thier LTA, I labled her as a malicious bitch. Now I think maybe she is just pathetic and broken, and those letters were her attempt to make herself seem more important than she was. WH dropped her within 24 hrs of being caught, and has not looked back. She thought she was special, and it turns out that she could have been anybody with the right body parts and no self respect.

Me: 47 WH: 48
Married 22 years, 4 kids
DDay: 3/5/14, 7 yr LTA plus rising ONS body count
Status: currently riding the coaster from hell

Posts: 107 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Virginia
♀ Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 32
WBF: 29
Together 8 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...

Posts: 796 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
♀ Member
Member # 40264
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

More often than not, itís you heís fighting for; it's you he's sorry for; itís you heís trying to be a better man for. Regain your strength. Retake your rightful place.

Betrayal hurts, I know. Boy, do I know. But remember, when they find someone weak enough to have an affair with, they always affair down.

9 months out - going back and forth RE: divorce but THIS is what I needed today.

Me-BW Him - WH
Married 6 years, together 15 years
3 awesome and beautiful children
OC discovered on Dday - born in 2005
D-Day Summer 2013

working towards D...I can't pretend anymore

**If I edit I'm correcting a typo!**

Posts: 509 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
♂ Member
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 10:30 AM, April 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Such a good thread

You can't fix crazy. All you can do is document it

Posts: 781 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, April 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for this reminder.

Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 2014, 1 yr. later than I should have
Psalms 27:14 Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 2575 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ New Member
Member # 43206
Default  Posted: 2:35 AM, April 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Inspired by these words, read it to my husband who had a EA. He even agreed. Thank you

Posts: 7 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Australia
♀ Member
Member # 42956
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumping the thread for new users.

Posts: 184 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: United States
♀ Member
Member # 43334
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So true! Thank you for this.

Me: BW(46)
Him: WH (46)
D-Day #1 March 2002- 1 year EA then 4 month PA with co worker
D-Day #2 March 2012 - EA with different co-worker

It's funny how sometimes the people you'd take a bullet for,are the ones behind the trigger.

Posts: 60 | Registered: May 2014 | From: New England
♀ Member
Member # 40264
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BUMP - cause sometimes us BS's need to remember this

Me-BW Him - WH
Married 6 years, together 15 years
3 awesome and beautiful children
OC discovered on Dday - born in 2005
D-Day Summer 2013

working towards D...I can't pretend anymore

**If I edit I'm correcting a typo!**

Posts: 509 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
♀ Member
Member # 43523
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a self esteem boost!!! These words literally made me shout out loud as I was reading them "Thats right! You know it! Preach it!" I'm so glad I read this today, I needed it, today, tomorrow and always!!!!

How did I end up here?
me 45
WH 47
married 20 years
together 29 years
3 children 16,14,7
OW-lucky to be alive!!!!
D-Day 5/8/2014

Posts: 274 | Registered: May 2014 | From: I'm pretty sure I'm in hell!
♀ Member
Member # 41580
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My step-son left his beautiful wife for the OW. The OW was also married with children and she left her husband. Between them they tore apart 2 marriages and devastated not only their innocent spouses but four children. My daughter in law is a wonderful, beautiful woman (tall, blonde, great figure). She is warm, giving, loving and a joy to be around. I finally met the OW (now the new wife) recently and all I could think is "You left your wife for THIS?" She is not even very pretty but she does have a good job so maybe money played a factor. They really do affair down. Needless to say, the OW will never be my daughter in law. That position is already filled.

Posts: 82 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: United States
♀ Member
Member # 43059
Default  Posted: 12:02 AM, June 11th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I needed this tonight- glad it popped up. The OW in my case was a hot mess. I never really have understood what SHE got from the relationship. That truly astounds me. WH didn't take her on dates or buy her gifts. She couldn't introduce him to friends or even discuss him on Facebook. He is much older than her and is a bit of a mess too so not even sure why she chose him??? She doesn't even have custody of her child. I don't get it. But yes, shesy be younger, but not better- he did affair down. So weird.

BW Me (40ish)
WH Him (40ish)
Kids ages 10-20
Married 20 years
OW 27- passed away 2/4/15 from cervical cancer
DDay 4/3/14- 6 month EA - Yes, I know he could be lying and will continue to be checked just in case.
They were "in love" & sexting

Posts: 541 | Registered: Apr 2014
♀ New Member
Member # 43373
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, June 11th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow! Thanks for this. So true.

My situation has a "twist" - he never told her he was married. He lied to her and told her he was divorced with 2 kids. I keep thinking - how could she NOT suspect - he only saw her once or twice a month, never let her meet the kids, never took her out of her little town ~ 25 miles south of home. Was she THAT stupid? Yes, yes she was. She was a hot mess...divorced, 2 kids who weren't living with her, then they were, then one wasn't...only a high school education, etc. I likened it to a "train wreck" for my husband - he said he tried to leave, but the drama kept sucking him back in...he couldn't look away. Plus, she was a slut who would do anything with him...

I asked him after I found out "what does she have that I don't..what could she give you, that I haven't?". His answer was nothing. He said I was prettier, smarter, sexier, etc. He doesn't understand why he "picked" her either.

Thanks for making me feel better about myself. I have a lot of self esteem issues because of this, but I'm trying to work them out, and this helps!

Married for 19 years
Me: 44, BW
Him: 53, WH
2 teenagers
D-Day: 5/7/14
Taking it one day at a time...

Posts: 22 | Registered: May 2014
♀ Member
Member # 30992
Default  Posted: 5:41 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Posts: 178 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: East Coast
Member # 43637
Default  Posted: 6:35 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I needed this today. I have been feeling like such a failure. The woulda/shoulda/couldas are killing me....I lost my H to a doper. He is still with her.

The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are stronger at the broken places. -Ernest Hemingway

Posts: 328 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Missouri
♀ Member
Member # 39159
Default  Posted: 6:49 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll never understand the drug-addiction like high they get from get from the danger, the secrecy, the self-destruction (and, contributing to someone else's self-destruction), 'risking it all'.. is the adrenaline rush really that powerful and all-encompassing..? Why..??? You only have a limited number of choices to make in one lifetime, why not make the best ones you can..? Why destroy your own life and and your loved ones' lives too? Whatever happened to 'preservation is the first law of nature'...?? Why throw away a perfectly good life- losing everything you've worked for- to jump into a black hole with with another self-destruction person..?? What is the appeal of that...? Because it just feels 'so wrong, it's irresistible'..??
Sorry but that does not compute with the rational, evolved mind. Life is too damn short for that shit.

Posts: 442 | Registered: May 2013
♀ Member
Member # 44003
Default  Posted: 7:12 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I totally agree with this post!!! However, my self esteem took a further dive when he was willing to walk away from me on DDay, only to try to come home 2 months later. And then again, when I didn't take him back fast enough, he moved on, still telling me that he is waiting for me and wants to be with me. Still denying there is someone else. I'm sure she is just as broken as my Asshat of an H and his last whoreface. But I won't be here, waiting for him to come back. Because, as painful as it is, I am finding strength and love of myself that he can not provide for me. Because, like all of you, I am not broken or pathetic and looking for someone else to fix me. I can do my own work!

Me: BW 40 Him:WH 38 (M)12 years; (T)18 years -2 DD: 17; 4; 1 DS: 9
Separated, headed for Divorce-he's not strong enough for me
'Everytime you get up and get back in the race, one more small piece of you starts to fall into place.' -

Posts: 530 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Hampton, VA
♀ Member
Member # 44154
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Thanks for this. I am 1 month out. When I saw a photo of her, I couldn't understand WHY her? She is no where near as pretty or accomplished as I am. She does have a special needs son, which drew some empathy from my WH, but her BF and her have cheated on each other multiple times. My WH just had a weak moment in his life (hopefully had learned his lesson now) but he never even dreamed of taking things further with her and was actually getting close to cutting it off before he got caught (so he says anyway). This makes me feel really good to read so THANK YOU!

Me: BW, 29
Him: fWH, 28
DDAY 7/4/14 TT till 7/18/14

"Reconciliation means working together to correct the legacy of past injustice." - Nelson Mandela

Posts: 413 | Registered: Jul 2014
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 5:31 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump :)

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 5555 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Europe
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