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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: How much does my BS hurt? ...
knightsbff
♀ Member
Member # 36853
Default  Posted: 1:32 PM, January 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


FWW 40's
D-day August 27, 2012
3 kids and 2 dogs

Posts: 1411 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA
NoTriangles
♀ Member
Member # 35985
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, January 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Me: Finding my Sunlight
Him: Traitor in my Foxhole
Let go or get dragged.

Posts: 1251 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: a state of consciousness
thecaves
♂ Member
Member # 38062
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, January 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for posting and bumping this. I hadn't read it previously. My BW is in a very sad place today and this does help me to understand why. This describes a hurt that is beyond comprehension of anyone who is not actually feeling it.

My BW is strong, stronger than she knows. I can only hope and pray that her strength, combined with mine will help her to cope with the pain. I see how difficult this is when I "AM" the biggest trigger.


Me: WH
Her: BW
Kids: Yes
Married: 20+
D-Day: 12/2012

What defines us is how well we rise after falling.


Posts: 173 | Registered: Jan 2013
NoTriangles
♀ Member
Member # 35985
Default  Posted: 7:22 PM, January 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Way to go, caves.

You are on a good road. Stay the course.


Me: Finding my Sunlight
Him: Traitor in my Foxhole
Let go or get dragged.

Posts: 1251 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: a state of consciousness
SandAway
♀ Member
Member # 37775
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, February 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Another Bump


fWW
BH Tred
M 16yrs
DDay Nov. 2011

Guns don't kill people; Affairs kill people


Posts: 433 | Registered: Dec 2012
BaxtersBFF
♂ Member
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 8:24 AM, April 7th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6097 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
noprincess
♀ Member
Member # 38660
Default  Posted: 4:55 AM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump!

Thanks to everyone who contributed on this tread.


"Never, never, never give up." - Winston Churchill

Posts: 138 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
callmecrazy
♀ Member
Member # 38765
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good words. Its so true. And I agree with some of the others, what takes place after the infidelity is uncovered can hurt so much more than the infidelity.

Posts: 279 | Registered: Mar 2013
heartbroken0903
♀ Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, May 19th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


Me: WS, 30s
XH: BS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Reconciled after divorce

"Someday you'll look back on all these days
And all this pain is gonna be invisible." - Hunter Hayes, "Invisible"


Posts: 2100 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
callmecrazy
♀ Member
Member # 38765
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, May 20th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No matter how perfectly handled it is, how remorseful you are, every BS must grieve the death of what they thought they had. So the best way I can explain it is the death of your spouse. If there are more lies and TT...its amplified into multiple deaths. Thats been the best way I've heard it described that I think everyone can sort of understand.

Posts: 279 | Registered: Mar 2013
SandAway
♀ Member
Member # 37775
Default  Posted: 7:35 AM, July 4th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


fWW
BH Tred
M 16yrs
DDay Nov. 2011

Guns don't kill people; Affairs kill people


Posts: 433 | Registered: Dec 2012
feelscrazy
♀ New Member
Member # 39705
Default  Posted: 8:22 AM, July 4th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why am I not able to send a PM to strong and womanly?

Posts: 4 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: all seems unreal
harrypotter
♂ Member
Member # 39526
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, July 5th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This letter really explains what I see on my wife's face everyday. This is the one thing out of all of this that I think I understand, I no longer get mad when she lashes out at me, threatens me etc. Instead of being mad, it makes me sad, sad that I did this to her and cause the pain that makes her this way now. I wish I would have known how much pain my affair would bring, I thought I did but ultimately I wasn't even close! If you love your spouse, forgive all the madness, anger etc that you have caused. Try not to respond with anger even though your heart is being tore apart with their words you did this and I have noticed that my forgiving of everything negative that my spouse does ( my doing btw) helps me to forgive myself!

I know not everyone is a Christian, and the following I am sure most of you know is from the Bible but it helps me and this description of love may help you help yourself and your spouse. In the way they need you too right now.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.


WS-Me
BS-Her (Lostinthismess)


Posts: 71 | Registered: Jun 2013
FightingBack
♀ Member
Member # 34770
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, July 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is this a reality I see?
This picture, this vision, this hope?

Is this an understanding, a knowledge, an acceptance
of truth?
Or is it just another illusion?

I knew my life before, then I saw that it was a dream.
Do I dream still?

Will I awaken again to a new reality?

How do I trust what I think I know?
When I see the fragility of love and the folly of faith?

But I was on a different path and I couldn't see any other.

When I awoke I saw that I had been travelling alone.
I looked and you were gone.

You took a different path a long time ago.

But I kept moving on and I didn't stop to see if you were still with me.
You spoke to me but you weren't beside me.

The noises around me deafened me and I didn't hear your silence.

You walked your path with someone else.
I walked mine with only your shadow.

And I walked with my eyes closed, in my dream.

You gave me a blindfold so that I could not see my life
and While I stumbled, she smiled.

And you didn't take my hand to make sure I would not fall.

I fell and awoke from my dream, uncertain.
My past is altered, my memory blurred.

What path am I on now?

I see you now and I hear you again
Now you offer your hand.

But I don't know if we live in the same dream.


Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

Posts: 754 | Registered: Feb 2012
stilllovinghim
♀ Member
Member # 29971
Default  Posted: 12:53 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumped for Whatnow999

[This message edited by stilllovinghim at 12:54 PM, July 16th (Tuesday)]


“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

Posts: 1942 | Registered: Oct 2010
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6170 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 11:41 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6170 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
catatonic
Member
Member # 40758
Default  Posted: 12:43 AM, November 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for finding this post and bumping it.
So much pain after the discovery.

Posts: 113 | Registered: Sep 2013
Neznayou
♀ Member
Member # 40654
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, November 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found this because someone else bumped it (thanks). Is there a way for us to bookmark posts that we want to be able to come back to, but don't really feel it necessary to comment on?


Me: WW
Caught at AP's house: 10 Aug 2012
Admitted PA: 12 Aug 2012
TT ended: Jan 2014

"Power, Lincoln, real power comes not from hate, but from truth."


Posts: 242 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: America to Europe
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, November 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You can bookmark it, however if for some reason it fell off the forum, it could be gone forever. We've already lost one epic thread that way.

I copy and paste the actual posts and keep them in my email files. That way I have them forever.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6170 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
Topic Posts: 163
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