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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: How much does my BS hurt? ...
GeauxTigers
♂ Member
Member # 28301
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, November 25th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I decided to bump this one too

Bump away, HUFI, this thread contains 25% of my WW's total posts on this board!

Sigh, I wish she would stop by more often...


Sigh... how did I end up here?

Posts: 1379 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Nashville
Lost68
♂ Member
Member # 27515
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, January 2nd (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump

Posts: 1476 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Sevilla
stilllovingher
♂ Member
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, February 2nd (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump for SLHIM to read.


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2407 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
HUFI-PUFI
♂ Member
Member # 25460
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, March 10th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It was time to bump this back to the front where it might be read again and the wisdom in it shared once more. BUMP!


Don’t listen to your head, it’s easily confused. Don’t listen to your heart, its fickle. Listen to your soul, God doesn't steer you wrong.

Posts: 3285 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Azilda, Northern Ontario
stilllovinghim
♀ Member
Member # 29971
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, April 22nd (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Front of the bus! SLHer, thanks for the reminder.


“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

Posts: 1942 | Registered: Oct 2010
Trying2Survive2
♀ Member
Member # 25758
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, April 22nd (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There isn't a word in any language that defines this kind of pain. All of the existing words fall so, so short of what is truly happening inside

Ugg..so true..interesting that i posted on this thread way back in Aug..and still feel the same.


Faithful Wife ME 52
FWH 47
DDAY #1 1/11/09 EA Online ONLY (NC)
DDAY #2 6/2010 Admitted PA with the same PIG(12/08)
"Anything may be betrayed, anyone may be forgiven, but not those who lack the courage of their own greatness"

Posts: 1376 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: USA
stilllovinghim
♀ Member
Member # 29971
Default  Posted: 10:11 PM, April 23rd (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumped for Keepondoingit


“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

Posts: 1942 | Registered: Oct 2010
stilllovinghim
♀ Member
Member # 29971
Default  Posted: 10:11 PM, April 23rd (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumped for Keepondoingit


“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

Posts: 1942 | Registered: Oct 2010
stilllovinghim
♀ Member
Member # 29971
Default  Posted: 5:08 AM, May 2nd (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumped for Confused2Be.


“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

Posts: 1942 | Registered: Oct 2010
nvr flt sch pain
♀ Member
Member # 31540
Default  Posted: 5:54 AM, May 2nd (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just to real
There's just so much that time cannot erase
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
You still have, all of me
I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just to real
There's just too much thjat time cannot erase.....

My immortal - Evanescence

This sums up how I feel.

Incidentally, my ring tone for my WH at the moment is Shot through the heart (Bon Jovi) because honestly I do feel a physical pain on my worst days and I do feel my view of love is forever tainted so he truly has given it a bad name.

Those letters posted could have been written by me and any other BS. There are just no words that can express the level of hurt any kind of A causes (on both sides in a lot of cases). 10 months out I still feel as raw as I did on DD. I sometimes wish the ground would just open up and swallow me as some days it is just too much for me to cope with and I see no light at the end of the tunnel. I am not suicidal, I have pets to look after and I care so much about the people I love, my family etc and view suicide as a selfish and easy way out but I just want the pain to go away and I can't see any way that it will.
Hopefully these posts will help WS see the damage they do and prevent any re-occurences, help them to support their BS and be patient when they are rocked by A tremours and to do whatever is needed to make their relationships work and to try and make amends for what they have done. Thank you for posting...


BW-2gether 13 years, wed 09/09.
Dd1 OW1 6/7/2012 - 9 mnths pa/ea. Dd2 OW1 13/8/2010. Dd3 OW1 10/10, ons and ongoing ea.
Dd4 05/11 OW2 - EA/poss PA, plus other poss ONSs,other dodgy txts.
Dd5 03/12 date sites, sex chats & porn!
01/2013 - porno se

Posts: 663 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: united kingdom
stilllovinghim
♀ Member
Member # 29971
Default  Posted: 2:32 AM, May 8th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumped for Tragicmess


“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

Posts: 1942 | Registered: Oct 2010
browniegirl
♀ Member
Member # 31985
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, May 20th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

- I deecided to bump this one too as a selfish plug for a topic that we as WS's should never forget about. Even while they suffer in sorrow and pain over our infidelity, they love us enough to give us a chance for redemption.


Yes, exactly.


Browniegirl

BW- Me 41
WH- 42 (Striker9)
Years together- 18
Years married- 14
D-Day 2-11-11 plus TT thru 5-11
1 11 YO DS
Trying to Reconcile


Posts: 280 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Hurting
stilllovinghim
♀ Member
Member # 29971
Default  Posted: 2:49 AM, May 26th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumpin cause it needs to be read again and again!!!


“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

Posts: 1942 | Registered: Oct 2010
Trying2Survive2
♀ Member
Member # 25758
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, May 27th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ohhh my..."Sniff sniff.."

Spot on.....
Shared with my

love

Wanting help..

ty you for this post..
xoxox


Faithful Wife ME 52
FWH 47
DDAY #1 1/11/09 EA Online ONLY (NC)
DDAY #2 6/2010 Admitted PA with the same PIG(12/08)
"Anything may be betrayed, anyone may be forgiven, but not those who lack the courage of their own greatness"

Posts: 1376 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: USA
Shauna
♀ Member
Member # 31779
Default  Posted: 10:48 PM, May 27th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The BS hurts to the depth of their soul. I feel absolutely trapped. If I leave, the hurt will go with me and then other innocent people (esp my kids) will be hurt as well. If I stay, I will "save" everyone else the hurt and the hurt stays with me alone. I have no choice except to stay.


BS: 59 female
WS: 60
married 38 years (or so I thought. I don't consider myself married any longer).

2 adult children who don't know

first d-day: 2/05/11
2nd d-day: 3/11/11

3 affairs that he has admitted to, 2 short term, 1 w


Posts: 227 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Northern California
Burl
♂ Member
Member # 31747
Default  Posted: 1:40 AM, May 29th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry I inflicted this pain on my bs. Never again!


me FWH, 43,
wife BS 43
5 beautiful kids, 6-14 y.o.

DDAY Dec 2010
MC since Dec 2010

both going to IC
LTA
Doing everything I can to help my beautiful wife heal from the anguish and pain I have caused.ounting on a miracle


Posts: 65 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Midwest
hear-me-roar
♀ Member
Member # 17962
Default  Posted: 2:34 AM, May 30th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad I floated over here to this wayward side. Although, I am the BS. After almost five years since D-day (add a 2nd D-day a year & half after with the same OW), I have come to realize that my head will never be cleared of the hurt of betrayal & lies. It is nice to read this post of new devotion through your understanding of what is a permanent condition within your continued marriage.

In some form, my obsessive thoughts of my husband's affair filter into every daily connection I have with him. I rarely speak it at the time but it is wearing on me that I don't seem to have control of it for myself even after so long. Sometimes that saying applies to the FWS, "damned if you do and damned if you don't". I can be in the best tender moment place with him and here come the thoughts: is this affection really still hers? does she really have your heart? are you in another lie of bullcrap and contacting her? And so-on. Those thoughts consume me whenever an endearing moment lasts more than that. Is it for real or are you just the best con-man ever? We didn't have a perfect marriage before his affair. Actually, it is much better now. But to now live in doubt of a man that I am crazy about just rips me up inside. I read about "post traumatic stress" syndrome and I think it's exactly what a BS lives with.


Posts: 77 | Registered: Jan 2008
stilllovinghim
♀ Member
Member # 29971
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, August 1st (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BUMP!!!


“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

Posts: 1942 | Registered: Oct 2010
lilgal
♀ Member
Member # 32348
Default  Posted: 1:48 AM, August 2nd (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Hufi for posting this and Im glad I wandered across it because sometimes I just cant find the words.

It is good to cry...


So what do we do when the memory/pain comes back of all the lies, deceitfulness, and disregard for the faithful spouse?
I PRAY... To no longer hold the act against my partner.

Posts: 166 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Washington State
MrsSprky99
♀ Member
Member # 32895
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, August 2nd (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is a fantastic thread...thanks to all who contributed to it!!!


BW (me) - 47
WH (him) - 53
Married - 14 years
3 Children - 25, 24 from first relationship & 10 y/o with WH
D-Day: June 11, 2011

Posts: 78 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Northern IL
Topic Posts: 164
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