Is the one he texted the "persistent" OW?
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this crap.
forgiven and in R :)
"To err is human.
Is that okay with you? Do you not deserve better than someone who could do that? What could possibly make you trust him again, after that?
I'm not trying to 2x4 you, I'm really not. I really want you to ask yourself those questions. Because really, everythin else depends on that -- can you possibly trust him ever again? What would he need to do to get there? And in the meantime, what do you need to do to protect yourself, until such time as he could possibly maybe EARN back some of that trust, IF he can?
I'm so sorry this is happening, lala.
I of course still want to be with him *smacks forehead* why, lala, why??
Don't beat yourself up for this. You love him, you have this idea of who he is, and it's shocking when the reality doesn't match up to your ideal. It takes some time to get over that shock, you know?
I've been ready everyone's updates but I've been too stressed to reply. Today is my last day at my contract job and I don't have another one to follow up with. So essentially I'm going to hide under my bed so the bill collectors can't find me. Just no one, NO ONE is hiring anyone right now! I'm at the point where I'm not too worried about what I'd do, I just need someone to give me a paycheck Any of you guys need your grass cut?
Better news, last night wbf and I had a really good night. We haven't been able to spend much time together lately. The last few times we've had together have been busy and rocky. Last night was really nice and wbf was great. We had fun, cuddled and laughed.
I know its hard. Thinking of you.
I guess I should stop hoping and face the painful truth.
Thank you so much for your words of advice, support and comfort. I think I prefer posting here because y'all seem more supportive of me and my decisions whereas in R or Gen I usually get "you should dump his ass"-type responses without any regards as to how I feel. Yes I'm upset and lost and angry but at the same time telling someone what to do isn't necessarily beneficial, especially when I'm obviously not ready to do it. So thank you for your words of encouragement and for being supportive, no matter what. PLT- I made sure to mention what you pointed out, that this time it was intentional and he knew he did it consciously and he agreed and still doesn't know why he did it. But I truly appreciate all of y'all
I just wanted to see how everyone's doing.
Had a great counseling session last night -- we really got to the heart of the issues, mostly WH's issues of course -- and got some useful metaphors for talking about stuff. Kept going after we got home, was surprised WH was up for that, and I think he really made the connection for the first time that a) his behavior now, where he ignores something upsetting me because he's afraid, is exactly the same as his ignoring of the post-ONS issues and freaks me out accordingly and b) how much he abandoned me emotionally after the ONS. That he let me hang for almost a year without even knowing for sure what had happened was a real eye-opener to him. He just hadn't really thought about it that way for whatever reason. At first it sent him off into his shame-spiral of uselessness but he managed to recover and he was able to give me what I needed! And this morning was able to say it again and have a good cuddle with me before he left for work. There may be hope yet!
Hope all you guys are doing well. lala, wtbl, any update?
SO here's the major drum roll. Tonight after we finished dinner I asked him if there was anything he wanted to talk about and we talked about work and the economy because he's really worried about that but then when I was getting ready to go into my dorm I apologized for being so controling in the past and I don't like alot of things I used to do or how I used to be and I was working on changing them to be a better person and I wanted him to feel comfortable with talking to me about anything- even the tough subjects. I said I didn't know if he had talked to this girl (he shook his head no) or if she had tried to contact him (he nodded yes---> HES BEING HONEST YAY!) but that I thought maybe she was trying to manipulate him just from what I knew and he said "You know I'm thinking you're right about that.." And so I said I wanted him to always be able to talk to me and he kissed me and in fact earlier when he first came he could tell I was a little tense and unsure about things between us so he pulled me in and held me. It amazed me he could read me so well! And he invited me to watch him compete in butt volleyball against war vets this saturday and I'm super excited as I've known him to compete every year but never have been invited before. So things are moving up right now :)
A girl I knew in daycare (when I was around 8ish?) was suicidal on Sunday though and that was a bit hard for me because I had to study for a final that I had monday and on one hand I wanted to be there for her like I'd want someone to be there for me but at the same time I had a final to study for and I'm not responsible for her. So it was definitely a lovely conflict I had while trying to also study.. But I ended up doing rather badly on my final monday I had my calculus final today and thursday I have my last final. Then starts summer! I have my favorite-best-job-in-the-whole-wide-world in the summer to look forward to (kids' dance teacher at a summer camp) and I'll get paid and finally have money in the bank! Woohoo
Not much has been happening around here. Started classes, have a new job prospect, wbf's birthday comes up in June. That's about it, nice a dull
How is everyone doing? Thank you so much for supporting me on here and for giving me great advice! Things are going well still, actually better than when I last posted. Wbf texted me goodnight last night, good morning this morning, right after he got off work and he's been very lovey dovey sending me "I love you"s every now and then I even have my sexual appetite back after 3ish weeks of not even thinking about it or caring TMI probably
I hope everyone is having a good week. What are y'alls plans for the summer? Anyone taking any vacations or are anyone's kids doing anything exciting?
tsol, good luck with the job prospect!
PLT, so glad to hear that you guys had a good talk.
Boring here, which is great. I've been busy at work and Mr. G has been stepping up with cooking a couple of times this week, which is just immensely wonderful. He even picked up the baby from daycare and went to the grocery store with her tonight because I had to work late. Awesomeness.
Saw assbrain neighbor yesterday, thought murderous thoughts, got over it by realizing that MY H was at that moment at an amusement park with my daughter being Father of the Year, doing everything right!
I still really hate assbrain though.