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User Topic: Support Through Prayer- Part 2
♀ Member
Member # 40617
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^^ Thank you so much for your prayers. Rest assured it is NEVER too late for any prayer, I'm afraid I need all the prayers I can get. Boy what a mess, and not of my making.
Your support is appreciated, good luck to you on your journey too.

Posts: 95 | Registered: Sep 2013
♀ Member
Member # 40898
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please pray for myself and DS. For I feel I am going backwards in this. I was in a better place but the last few days have been slipping back into depression. I miss my him so much, at least the man he was. I miss my family. I pray I can be brought out of this again and move forward. I pray that DS finds his way also and starts opening up a little more. I pray that stbxh opens his a heart a little and shows a little remorse, that he stops being so hateful.

me(BS)-34 him(WS)-32 DS-15
Married 15 years
Blindsided with divorce 07-12-13
DD-08-1-13 OW-40ish,married 20 yrs, with 4 kids she abandoned
Divorcing and trying to move one tiny step forward at a time.
Divorced: Jan 27,2015 (Ds 16th BDay)He rem

Posts: 118 | Registered: Oct 2013
Darkness Falls
♀ Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, November 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Almighty God, please support each and every hurting soul on SI. Help the BS find peace and healing. Help the WS to live a life of integrity. Help those who find themselves single parents, and give them strength in their journey. Help those who are separated or divorced to find peace. Help those who are reconciling to find renewed hope and joy in their marriage or relationship. Help us all further strive for a life "on Earth as it is in heaven."


WS, 5-month EA/PA '09-'10

Divorced and remarried to XBH

Posts: 2881 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: Central Florida
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, January 29th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please pray for WW, daughter and Me and our families who are suffering. Everyone is basically held hostage because of this... My WW and Daughter seem to be doing fine, but my daughter has been acting out more and more. Pray for me that I can heal and be strong and God's will...

I want to reconcile some days and some minutes I just want to move on...

I am the wandering samurai, and I found my freedom...

Posts: 1044 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
♀ Member
Member # 38173
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, January 29th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Father God, I pray for the spirit of confusion to be lifted from all familes that are affected by infidelity. For we know you operate on absolutes and are the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. We pray that more of you shows up and less of ourselves. That we be able to act and react in a way that is pleasing to thy sight. Lord, we ask for a measure of patience. For you say that those that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. So I pray that we can WAIT on you (serve you) while we wait on you (remain patient).

All these things we ask in your son Jesus's name.. AMEN

"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....

Posts: 668 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:07 AM, February 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending with love and thankfulness to MH &DS for creating this site. Thanks to the tools of 'Platinum' and 'Simplicity', this once was lost but now found:

Posts: 7228 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumping for help on General

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

Posts: 204698 | Registered: May 2002
♂ New Member
Member # 43576
Default  Posted: 8:04 AM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My first post. D-day was exactly 7 weeks ago (almost to the minute) and if it weren't for the overwhelming pain, I think I'd feel dead.

I'm seriously struggling with my belief/faith in God. Please pray that God will make himself known to me now, that I may begin to heal, for my WW, and especially for my DS--I'm not much good to him right now.

Thank you! I am praying for all here as well.

Me: BH,50, but a youthful 50 :)
Her: WW, 44
Dday: April 30,2014
Dday #2: June 18, 2014

Posts: 3 | Registered: May 2014 | From: California
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I too have struggled with my relationship with God because of this. Not God's fault... at all.

I am the wandering samurai, and I found my freedom...

Posts: 1044 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
♂ New Member
Member # 43576
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, LS. It's comforting to know I'm not alone. I'll pray for you and your family.

Me: BH,50, but a youthful 50 :)
Her: WW, 44
Dday: April 30,2014
Dday #2: June 18, 2014

Posts: 3 | Registered: May 2014 | From: California
♂ Member
Member # 42650
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I too have struggled with my relationship with God because of this. Not God's fault... at all.

No, this has nothing to do with God, it has to do with sin and this fallen world we live in. God does not bring us pain, but when we get into the pain we can grow and heal and be risen from the dead into new life.

He can help us win and become stronger through the experience, God makes a way, God can take on our suffering and help us as we seek Him and cling to Him as we deal with the fallout.

Think about the refining of gold...think about how these trials can refine us into better vessels to do His work on Earth, teaching us to forgive and to be grateful for what we have despite how we are treated. God loved us while we were still sinners. Jesus showed us how to love and forgive, but that does not mean we have to stay in bad relationships which are emotional abusive and defile our agreements. NO! God hates divorse for the wrong reasons, but he allows us to escape bad marriages when we cannot take it.

10 commandments...that was all. One of them was clear about sexual sin within marraige and about keeping the marriage bed pure. When defiled we are not commanded to stay in the marriage, I'm sorry it is not bibilical to say you must stay in a marriage when the spouse is cheating. NOPE and I dont care what the Pope says. It is clear in the Gospels. God bless all that come here.

The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free Luke 4:18

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds - Psalm 147:3

[This message edited by steppingup at 5:17 PM, August 1st (Friday)]

STEP (BS) - too many DDays, TT and non-disclosure continue - WW is considering chasing her dreams with D or R.
"Cheating is so rampant it has become a sign of how mentally unwell and immature our society is".

Posts: 1922 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: CALI
♀ Member
Member # 43986
Default  Posted: 5:19 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LostSamurai, In reading your statement of "I too have struggled with my relationship with God because of this. Not God's fault... at all." I have to include myself. I have said & felt things toward my WH that were definitely not of the loving your neighbor nature. Included was the words "I hate you" to my WS. This emotional rollercoaster that infidelity puts us on can Truly be a test of our faith in Christ. For this thing called adultery has been the worst pain I have ever experienced. Though I failed him as a representative of his, he has not failed me. He has promised that nothing can snatch us from his hand and he has kept his word. The fact that we recognize we have struggled with our relationship with God, is

Me BS 58yo, Him WS 55yo, sex addict
DD#1 1/28/14 co-worker#1 1991
DD#2 2/8/14 co-worker#2 9/13 - 4/14,moved in with OW 3/9/14,moved out from OW 4/8/14
DD#3 4/10/14 22+ anonymous sex OW
Full disclosure 7/30/14 30+ sex parteners

Posts: 235 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: colorado
♀ Member
Member # 43986
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oops, I accidentally touched submit on my tablet on the previous message. So to finish, the fact that we recognize were we are struggling with our relationship with God is testimony that we still desire a relationship with God. Perhaps our desire of a relationship with God is God's way of keeping us in his hand. I had asked the lord many times early on "how could you allow a child of yours that loves you to experience such horrible pain? What did I do to you or anyone to deserve this pain?" I know now the answer wasn't what I did to deserve the pain it was what God needed me to do to bring back one of his that was getting pulled farther into the darkness. The OW was well on her way of convincing my WH that god didn't exist. My WH did believe in Jesus prior to her. His faith wasn't big but it was there prior to OW. My WH has said it was my faith that brought him back to Christ. I realize now that even a struggling faith can help another's. I do not give the credit to myself, for I was a stumbler & bumbler, but I give it to God and what he has done to save this marriage. I could tell so much more of what God did to intervene in the dissolution of the marriage, but it would take the space of a small book to write down everything he did. Just want you to know that it wasn't me who wanted to reconcile, WH's adultery & divorce, for me, was a way out of an emotionally abusive relationship. But that wasn't what God wanted & I am glad God had a better plan than mine.

Me BS 58yo, Him WS 55yo, sex addict
DD#1 1/28/14 co-worker#1 1991
DD#2 2/8/14 co-worker#2 9/13 - 4/14,moved in with OW 3/9/14,moved out from OW 4/8/14
DD#3 4/10/14 22+ anonymous sex OW
Full disclosure 7/30/14 30+ sex parteners

Posts: 235 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: colorado
♀ Member
Member # 41135
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, August 15th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Prayers for me and my daughters please, I just do not know where I fit in anymore. I think my WH is out on a business trip which is really a vacation with OW. I have tried to be the wife God wants me to be. He left and I thought we were ok not great but ok and from the airport right before he gets on a plane he sends me a hateful angry text about how worthless I am as a wife. I replied with no anger and told him I would rather discuss this in person or at least not via text. No reply. He is coming back on Tuesday night and I just do not know what to do. Please pray for me that God will give me the wisdom to say and do the "right" thing. I feel like I am in a dark cavern and do not know which way to go.
Thank you. I pray for all of you too and that God will give us the strength to get through this.

Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.

Posts: 277 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Midwest
♀ Member
Member # 43116
Default  Posted: 6:32 AM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ruby, I'm so sorry. It is probably easier for him to justify the vacation if you are a horrible person and a bad wife in his mind. You know the truth and so does God. Don't let the enemy use your husband to tear you down. He is in a state of confusion right now. You are a child of God and because of that have a place to turn that will provide protection and comfort.
I will be praying for you and every hurting heart on here, including mine! We didn't deserve all of this hurt. It will not define who we are! He is our rock and fortress. Do not forget that!

Me: BW (40's)
Him: WS (40's), sober since DDay2
Married 10 years, DS under 10 yrs
DDay 1: 12/20/13
TT until DD 2: 7/18/14
DDay 3 6/20/2015 This is the one that made me realize just how broken he really is. He is his own worst enemy.

Posts: 224 | Registered: Apr 2014
♀ Member
Member # 41135
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Lally, I need so many prayers, sometimes the rage I feel consumes me and it is hard to even pray. To know that there are others to pray for me when I can't is comforting. I hope that my prayers for all of us bring someone comfort and peace. May God have mercy on us all, way wards betrayed and affair partners alike.

Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.

Posts: 277 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Midwest
♀ Member
Member # 44277
Default  Posted: 2:05 PM, September 3rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been praying a novena to St Rita for the healing of my marriage. A novena is a prayer that is said for 9 days and is usually done as a request for a special grace in time of suffering. The philosophy is that a saint can "intercede" with God on your request and that one may feel more comfortable praying to a saint as they lived a human existence and can offer understanding to your particular situation.

St Rita endured a difficult marriage.

Link to the novena.

I already feel I am being helped by this! Hope it helps others!

Me: WW
Him: BH
D-Day: Jul 3, 2014
In MC and IC, hoping for R

Posts: 167 | Registered: Jul 2014
♀ Member
Member # 40654
Default  Posted: 6:20 AM, September 4th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

By the time I found BlakeSteele's prayer list in the Reconciliation forum, it had been locked. But, I'd still like to respond to it, if I may.

I grew up going to church but didn't really feel a deep, abiding relationship to God, just a superficial connection to some of the people I met there (I thought it was deep and abiding, but not really). However, those people didn't have problems. Everything was fine. No problems. That community attitude contributed to the difficulties I had opening up to individuals and being able to say "I'm not okay."

I started veering away from church-going when I was in college. I spent many years weaving in and out of dedication. The last time I attend a service was Mother's Day 2012 (check my tagline; a connection?) I haven't really looked back.

However, part of what exacerbates the church/ God thing for me is the fact that when I broke down sobbing at my AP's house (before we had intercourse, but after we'd come too close to it), instead of sending me home to my BH, instead of sending me to a counselor, instead of recognizing that I was really messed up, he prayed for me! (And continued to be a willing participant) Even at the time, that prayer felt like a hypocritical farce on both our parts. Nothing about him or his lifestyle indicated a religious ideology. I was married; he was living with his girlfriend. And he thought God would listen?! I remember telling him that I was pretty sure God didn't even know who I was anymore.

That's the long walk off of a short pier. The funny thing is that, even considering all this, when I read the list of names on BlakeSteele's original post, I was looking for my name or my BH's name. I'm going to be left pondering why that is for a while.

Thanks for letting me butt in.

[This message edited by Neznayou at 6:40 AM, September 4th (Thursday)]

Me: WW (1973)
Him: 1969

Married: April 9, 1994

Son: 1998
Son: 2002

Caught at AP's house: 10 Aug 2012
Admitted PA: 12 Aug 2012
TT ended: Jan 2014


Posts: 595 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Europe
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, September 4th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


This is the first time in the ICR forum...was pointed here through a mis-step of mine as I posted a prayer list in R forum. Didn't intentionally violate the rules of SI but I see that I have.

SI has been a benefit to me over the past 2 years...but the driving reason behind most of my change and continued efforts in restoring our marriage is.....God.

I did life and marriage my way for 30 years....which jived with how much of society does life and marriage.

Neznayou....I have added you both to my prayer list. I sooooo here you when you wrote "I'm not okay." and how you wanted to say that to folks around you....but was simply not done.

Wife and I have spent decades hiding from ourselves...specifically our feelings and the reality that real pain exists in our lives....some serious, traumatic level pain occured in our formative years.

Impossible to be authentic with others when you aren't first authentic with yourself. But to do so is VERY humbling and often PAINFUL!

Have learned that pain does NOT equal unhealthy.

Rejoice in all things.

Still working on that...but am growing towards that.

Having an AP pray is odd...but makes perfect sense in this spiritual battle. Satan loves confusion and uses temptation to keep you confused.

He didn't order Eve to bite the apple....he simply asked "Did God really tell you not to eat that fruit?" He brought doubt (confusion) into her mind and she did not rebuke it...did not fact seek. She gave into her feelings and used them to direct her actions.

I did this by choosing to use porn.....the many lies I believed, often in line with society's view on porn, helped me do what my selfish desire tempted me to do.

My wife choosing adultery.....the many lies she told and believed, tying into the "happiness is a goal" societal lie, helped her do what her selfish desires tempted her to do.

I have lived in fear since age 12. Didn't fully realize it but coping skills are often developed out of fear and ones need to protect themselves. They are useful for short periods of the body going into shock after a physical injury...but are no way to live a healthy life.

God does not give us a spirit of fear. He gives us a spirit of love, power and self-discipline.

Love--agape love...not eros love (romantic, emotional love. Though certainly that should be a part of a healthy marriage)

Power--free will. We have the power to choose.

Self-discipline. God gave us feelings and emotions for a reason...but He also calls us to be obedient to him...and that takes self-discipline. We must not give into selfish desires.

This is some sort of battle.

But I now realize our M was under attack from the moment we got engaged. Satan hates M and family...he wants us to be isolated and alone so that he may pick us off one by one.

God hates D....He created M and family to do exactly what satan hates, for us to have a strong unit from which to make our way through this broken world. Refining and maturing as we do....eventually being redeemed and called home to Heaven. He does not expect us to be perfect before we are saved....Jesus did that work for us.

I pray Gods will be done. I pray I have the courage to be obedient to that prayer, realizing it requires me to mature past my selfish desires. I think this is what is meant, in part, when it is said we are to "die to self in order to live".

I am such a work in progress......


[This message edited by blakesteele at 10:03 AM, September 4th (Thursday)]

ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred.

Posts: 5384 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
♀ Member
Member # 37575
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, September 4th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Thank you so much for your encouraging words! I still have chills that last night when I was so discouraged I opened up SI right to your thread. So, I personally am glad for the "mistake" on where it was posted or I wouldn't have seen it! Divine intervention? I think so!

I shared your thought with my FWH and he was touched. He isn't actually on SI, but I read things to him. I really admire people who overcome addictions/challenges/obstacles. I too believe it is through Him that we truly change and heal.

FWH is sorry today, taking responsibility and recommitting to doing the work. He does have the tools he needs and knows the key is USING them!

I so appreciate the prayers coming our way! God IS with us!
Take care

Me: BW Him: FWH in our 50's
DDay June 1st 2012
cheated with prostitutes overseas

Posts: 524 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Out West
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