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User Topic: OC Support Thread (BS Only)-New Thread
want2bok
♀ Member
Member # 19913
Default  Posted: 5:15 PM, April 1st (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

altered - that will be a bit strange for all of you. I don't know what your BIL is thinking!

OW does try to talk to H about non OC stuff - mostly about her weird family and her job. She tells me about her love life. I only listen because I keep hoping one of these guys will want to M her and adopt OC.

I really don't worry about it too much. We don't deal with her that often. But I decided a couple of years ago that I can't control my H. If he can't follow the boundaries that we agreed to long ago without me constantly reminding him, then he can go. I love him, but I don't need him if he doesn't respect me and our M. I can't spend the rest of my life checking up on him and constantly being worried about him cheating again. There have been occasions that were triggers or red flags that I have verified, but it isn't something I do on a regular basis. I'm with you - he cheats again, and he can start walking because I don't have room for that in my life.


BS - me 32
WS - him 32
3 beautiful girls - 11, 9, 7 and angel baby 7/9/10
D-Day 1/07 - 1+ yr PA
OW 35
OC born 12/06
R since 2/07 and going well

Posts: 135 | Registered: Jun 2008
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 7:51 AM, April 2nd (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Altered,

That's how fWH/OW's 3rd EA/PA started. OW was starting to be chatty w/fWH & he enjoyed the attention. They started talking & talking more & more....mostly her complaining about BH, work, OC, toddler...him complaining about work or saying things about OC & COM. She was also talking to him about being on ADs because she couldn't deal w/living w/BH#2 without being medicated & that she had no sex drive after OC & OC's sister were born (that she & BH were like roommates instead of lovers - hinting at her womanly needs I suppose). It kinda rekindled the flame fWH had for OW, that had been only dying embers. OW never quit carrying a torch for fWH & (if I can believe him) he said that OW had started telling him not long after EA started, how she still loved him & had never loved anyone but him that way (not even BH#1 & BH#2-father of her 2nd child).

I think, if at all possible, OW should stay away from your home & fWH should stay away from BIL/OW's home. NC between fWH/OW except when necessary. You should be the dropoff/pickup person for OC....I see now, that it just HAD/HAS to be that way for our M to survive.

I had really let my guard down & everything after fWH's accident (and a few years after OC was born)....the somewhat recent EA/PA#3 has my radar up & probably will be concerning OW for rest of my life. I don't feel she will EVER give up & just awaits her chance to find him weak again.

[This message edited by repeatBS326 at 7:55 AM, April 2nd (Friday)]


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
altered
♀ Member
Member # 25116
Default  Posted: 9:05 AM, April 2nd (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know I can't focus on FWH and his boundaries. I am really thinking the rose-colored glasses are off concerning OW. She is IMHO not a good parent, no abusive or even really neglectful, just half-assed I guess, putting her selfish needs above her C. She has said and done some manipulative things after FWH would not leave me and COM once OC was born. I think he has lost a lot of respect for her and realized that she is not the person he thought she was pre and post A. He has also opened his eyes to how committed I am, how hard this is for me, and how much I love him. I also think he is feeling worthy of my love.

The only boundaries I can set are mine. I will not stay with someone who will not be true to me after all we have been through. If after me accepting OC, being an adult concerning BIL and OW and just being the best mother, wife and me I can be, FWH decides to get his kicks elsewhere, he'll have to deal with it on his own. I will walk away. COM will always have her daddy, but FWH will not have me. And I think that I could be okay on my own.

As long as he is committed to R and M, I will be. But I also know I am strong enough to be my own woman.


Married since 5/99
BS-36
WH-39
1 COM
D-Day 6/27/09
In R OC born 12/15
D-Day #2 8/19/13

I want to be the kind of woman I want my daughter to be-Jewel

Posts: 205 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: Heartland
SadMommie
♀ Member
Member # 17718
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, April 2nd (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi everyone,

I haven't been on in quite some time. I see many of the original posters that helped me through my dark days and many new people who I wish did not have to go through this. Thank you for all your wonderful wisdom and advice.

Well, my 3 year mark from the day that I discovered the affair passed yesterday. Three years ago I thought that I would never see this day. Each day seem a little worst than the one before but it eventually got better. Most of my anger has passed. Don't get me wrong, I still have terrible moments but they pass very quickly. My H has no contact with the OW and very little contact with the OC. The little contact is due to the OW not "trusting" my H. Really??? Her and her family are pushing my H away. I have no desire to be involved with the OC. This is just drama but we choose to ignore it. We pay attention to what is important to us.

There is hope for all of to be a survivor to this trauma. It is a process that takes time, lots of time. Things will get better just hang on, take care of your self and make the best decisions for you.

I wish everyone a quick recovery. Life really can get better.

I would not be where I am today without you guys. Thank you Thank you Thank you.


Me - 36
H - 35
Kids - D-6years, S-3year
OC - 2 year old
OW - POS crazy 25 year old
D-Day - April 10, 2007

"I am where I am because of the bridges that I crossed." - Oprah Winfrey

"Excuse me, what level of Hell is this?" - Bu


Posts: 91 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: Virginia
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, April 2nd (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today, I am having a bad day. I just want to totally extract myself from the center of this mess. I am just so tired of the drama.

WBF won't go NC. I honestly don't even care. I actually wish he would choose to be with her. Then the pressure to make a decision is off of me and he can spend the rest of his life wondering if he made the right decision.

I actually tried to tell him I was done with this on Monday, and he talked me out of it. He scared me with how emotional he got and I thought he was getting so distraught that he might try to commit suicide... and honestly, I couldn't deal with having that on my conscience. He asked me to be patient until OW decides is she is going to keep the baby or not. I really think she is going to keep it, so I don't know why he is acting like she hasn't made a decision yet.

He and I aren't even really talking anymore because he flips out over everything. I have been so kind and respectful during this whole situation, when all I really want to do is yell at him and take all my anger and frustration out at him...

Just wondering... when you found out about the OC, did you know right from the beginning that you would be willing to work things out, or did you waver? I feel like I have no idea what to do.

[This message edited by Whalers11 at 7:21 PM, April 2nd (Friday)]


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2071 | Registered: Feb 2010
MollyJo
♀ Member
Member # 18820
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, April 2nd (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wondering... when you found out about the OC, did you know right from the beginning that you would be willing to work things out, or did you waver? I feel like I have no idea what to do.

In the first days, I didn't know what to do because it was just all so surreal. Then I decided that I was going to stay and try to work things out, and everything was really, really good for awhile. Then a couple of months later, I found out that he was still lying to me about the details of the affair, and I started a 9 month downhill slide that ended with me breaking up with the bastard.

Give yourself a break, your life has turned upside down.

And WTF does "wait until she decides if she's keeping the baby" mean? Like, if she gets an abortion he never cheated?


Me: BS Him: SOB OC born 9/08. We've split up but I still see him every day and the OW occasionally. Lost my whole life because he couldn't keep it in his pants.

Posts: 219 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: midwest
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, April 3rd (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And WTF does "wait until she decides if she's keeping the baby" mean? Like, if she gets an abortion he never cheated?

Well, to be fair... I told him I would be more likely to want to R if there was no baby and she could be out of our lives for good.


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2071 | Registered: Feb 2010
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 7:26 AM, April 5th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whalers,

Sorry he is fence sitting.

fWH was suicidal on Dday#3, but surprisingly he wasn't that way on Dday#2 when I foudn out about OC. I guess, he never thought I leave because when OC was expected, we had a toddler & newborn.

And, I wavered a lot. I saw a lawyer several months after fWH told me about OC's impending birth. Because I didn't know the truth (it was a planned pregnancy on both parts), I kinda felt sorry for him...thinking he got sucked into ONS with xOW (that she was trying to break up our M by trying to get pregnant), when all along it was EA/PA#2 (or continuation of a down-low EA/PA#1).

I found out in July & sought legal advice in Nov. for possible D. His coworker's spouse worked @lawyer's office & she went home & told her H, who in-turn told fWH that I had meeting w/attorney (just my luck). @time, fWH was really going out of his way to keep me happy. Due to severe depression, I had to seek IC the month of birth. When DNA was positive, I still didn't know. When we've had hard times...I waver. I still don't know if I did the right thing & sometimes debate on sneaking & talking to lawyer. I paid $2500 retainer on D-day#3, so I feel comfort in knowing that I have secured the best lawyers in our county. I just hope that fWH never gives me reason to question or doubt his true remorse about A#3. I will never get him to regret A#1/A#2/OC (he loves OC too much & thinks she is a good thing - all children are good, but I cannot agree that OC's birth was a good thing for our M & family & COM).

[This message edited by repeatBS326 at 7:37 AM, April 5th (Monday)]


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Funny  Posted: 7:34 AM, April 5th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thought I was OW-free Thur-Tues....haven't I said b4 that GOD has a sense of humor?

Pile up all the trash for the dump (we live in rural area & no curbside pickup) after work Friday. Drive over to county dump. Pickup/dropoff park is right next to dump (divided by chainlink fence). And guess who's @park???? Yea, you guessed it. It's either an Easter picnic or belated b-day celebration for OW (under the covered picnic area):

OW
BH#2
OC & toddler sis
OW's mother & stepdad
OW's sister, BIL, niece, nephew, stepniece
(maybe even OW's MIL, don't know her vehicle)

Just love OW's entire extended family seeing me hurl 30-gal bags of trash into the trash crusher. Doesn't everyone looks oh-so-lovely taking off trash???

P.S. we went out w/COM for our weekly dinner-out Thurs night (new family tradition). Wreck or something took out most of power @ the good restaurants (right as we were about to get out @3rd restaurant we found that didn't have too many cars/no parking)...I kept wishing that OW had gone to Outback Steakhouse for her b-day celebration...'cause they probably would've lost power 1/2-way through dinner Even Wal-mart was w/out power...they never close except Christmas Eve/Christmas (24-hr supercenter).


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
Want2help
♀ Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, April 5th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wondering... when you found out about the OC, did you know right from the beginning that you would be willing to work things out, or did you waver? I feel like I have no idea what to do.

No, I wavered minute to minute. It is perfectly natural.

We are 3 years out, and doubt still creeps in time to time. Sorry, but it is just the way it is.


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
Surprise OC born 3/08 (NC)
6 years into successful R.
"That which can be destroyed by truth should be." -P. C. Hodgell

Posts: 1957 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, April 6th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Taxes: claiming OC needed extra form signed by OW.

Because new tax laws for 2009 concerning being able to claim exemptions by noncustodial parents...we have to attach a Form 8332 to our taxes (even e-file). If stupid OW had signed in 2008, like she was supposed to...we could've attached a copy of the parenting plan pages concerning who claims OC instead.

http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f8332.pdf

Basically, if CS/custody agreement is signed after Dec 31, 2008, the new law requires that EVEN if you have joint custody, IRS considers the parent w/more nights to be the Custodial parent w/rights to claim child (OC) every year...these laws apply also to non-married/never-married parents (per what my H&R Block online questionairre says). There's some deviation allowed for parents who work nights though, in another publication.

It even says:

If the child was with each parent for an equal # of nights, the custodial parent is the parent with the higher adjusted gross income.

What this boiled down to was that OW has to sign the Release/Revocation of Release of Claim of Exemption for Child by Custodial Parent (since OW is considered the custodial parent by ~20 nights more w/OC or whatever the #s were, cannot remember). We had to call OW last night & get her to agree to sign during dropoff today when I get OC. In looking back, the CS/custody papers CLEARLY say that OW is required to furnish this form 8332 to fWH by Feb15th on alternating years. (But, in all honesty, we were supposed to furnish her with W-2s, social security income statements, & copy of our taxes {lawyer said we could black-out my income & SSN etc. on the copies})

Also, even though for juvenile/family court records, fWH & OW have joint custody, the wording is not great:

The child or children are scheduled to reside the majority of the time with the mother. This parent is designated as the primary residential parent also known as the custodian, SOLELY for purposes of any other applicable state and federal laws. If the parents are listed in Section II as joint decision-makers, then, for purposes of obtaining health or other insurance, they shall be considered to be joint custodians. THIS DESIGNATION DOES NOT AFFECT EITHER PARENTíS RIGHTS OR RESPONSIBILITIES UNDER THIS PARENTING PLAN.

FEDERAL INCOME TAX EXEMPTIONS

It's kinda a contradiction though, since OW technically owed fWH child support & the footnote on the FITA says:

NOTE: The child support schedule assumptions in the guidelines (1240-2-4-.03 (6)(b) ) assume that the parent receiving the child support will get the tax exemptions for the child. nobody actually receives CS for OC, since fWH got it written out

[This message edited by repeatBS326 at 9:21 AM, April 6th (Tuesday)]


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 9:13 AM, April 6th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here's a little funny though. Since COM & OC are getting SS disability benefits through fWH's disability....next year, their incomes will probably make it so that they provide >1/2 the amount needed to support each child. I'm thinking that SS bonus+monthly check will make it so NONE of us can claim exemptions/credits for the 3 kids. DS13/DS10/OC9 might even have to file tax returns (well, we do on their behalf) for 2010, but I've got to research that more....if so, we need to be taking out taxes from their benefits monthly like we're doing for fWH (or they will be doing, once I turn in the form to SS).


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
Chandler
♀ Member
Member # 23038
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, April 6th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whalers- I also waver from time to time and we are over 1 year out from D-Day. In the beginning it was all the time. It's OK though. Like Molly said your life has turned upside down, you are allowed to feel like this.

repeatBS

I am mad for you OW is such a slacker.

OK update on my situation...

As predicted OW did not just let things go with the NC call between her and WH.

We finally finished moving this past weekend and were getting things settled when he gets a text from her. He ignores it and she texts back like 3 more times. She really can't take a hint. Anyway he texts back and asks what she wants.

She replies asking him if he really thought about his decision to go NC because if he gave OC a chance he would love her. Mind you this is the same woman who wanted to have WH terminate rights and doesn't want me around OC.

He did not respond to her so after a little while she texts back and said OK I guess you did think about it, I will always love you.

He did not respond. and he blocked her from his phone

On another note I posted this in general but I wanted to put it here too..

So we are in the process of moving and we have bills out the ying-yang and we are BARELY surviving. My WH stasrts bitching about how we don't have any money he is tired of this I need to stop spending so much.
OK he is probably right that I need to stop spending, but here is what I CAN"T say to him.....

Get off your ass and find a full-time job!!!!!!!! ( he has stopped looking) and If you had kept your dick in your pants and not created OC with your white trash whore then CS wouldn't have to come out of your check and maybe we would have some money!!!!!!!

Sorry but I had to say it to someone.

oh and I feel like I deserve to spend a little on myself every once in a while.


ME:BS Him:WS
D-Day: Too many I lost count
OC born Jan 09
"If happy ever did exist, I would still be holding you like this, all those fairy tales are full of shit, one more fucking love song I'll be sick" -Maroon 5

Posts: 1335 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Somewhere I never wanted to be
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, April 6th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Chandler,

It is sad that you guys had to move because OC's CS & fWH's limited income.

OW is really brave, to text fWH that she "Loves Him." Of course, you knew that all along...it's kinda an unspoken gimmie (when OW doesn't just give up). Why can't she get it in her head that you guys are NC & she's just going to have to accept it? Nobody can MAKE fWH (or BW for that matter) have anything to do w/OC. I mean, if something happened to OW (like she was committed, went into military, was unfit, or passed away), then you guys would probably be given first option to be OC guardians/parents, but OW cannot force OC on your family.

And yes, you deserve to splurge on yourself every so often. I would get mad @fWH for complaining about my spending, when he was paying $400 CS monthly, $40/wk in tobacco, >$60 gas to work weekly, & eating $5+ daily from snack machines @work. Yes, he should keep looking for better job (but he's probably down about OC & his work situation & giving up on the job hunt).

When we were somewhat more tight on income (especially the year fWH got hurt) & I even considered bankruptcy due to medical expenses, it just made me really angry that fWH had the agreed CS (verbal previously, not through courts until 2009) and here I was running coins through CoinStar @Kroger's, trying to find enough $$$ for lunches & food.

And, when fWH was able-bodied, it made me angry that we had to give-up the dream of building a home together because the extra $$$ we had been saving each paycheck, would now be going to OW (for OC). And, it really pissed me off that fWH continued to contribute >3% to his 401(k) {he insisted since his company matched the first 3%}, yet I couldn't afford to contribute for years & then only 1%...so our bills could get paid. My 401(k) is piddly in comparison to fWH's...I basically have no retirement money because OC.

I am so blessed that fWH's disability allows for COM to get $$$ monthly. Now, I don't feel so angry that we cannot provide things for DSs & that OC had CS $$$. It was also a blessing, that OW made so much $$$ before CS papers, 'cause it just made it so fWH didn't owe her any CS @all. We should've done the CS legally all along....so fWH/OW didn't have to be "friends" for fWH to get visitation (like him having visitation w/OC was a favor, not a right).

[This message edited by repeatBS326 at 9:49 AM, April 6th (Tuesday)]


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
want2bok
♀ Member
Member # 19913
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, April 6th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here's a little funny though. Since COM & OC are getting SS disability benefits through fWH's disability....next year, their incomes will probably make it so that they provide >1/2 the amount needed to support each child. I'm thinking that SS bonus+monthly check will make it so NONE of us can claim exemptions/credits for the 3 kids. DS13/DS10/OC9 might even have to file tax returns (well, we do on their behalf) for 2010, but I've got to research that more....if so, we need to be taking out taxes from their benefits monthly like we're doing for fWH (or they will be doing, once I turn in the form to SS).

You don't need to worry about it. I have prepared taxes for 5 seasons now. You (and OW) can still claim COM and OC every year even with SS benefits. It doesn't count as though someone else is providing support - you guys are still providing that support. The kids are not providing their own support which is what it would take for them to claim themselves on their returns. And your COM won't need to file returns unless they are earning other income. SS income for a single person isn't taxable until 1/2 SS plus other income is greated than $25K. It is basically tax free money for your family. :)


BS - me 32
WS - him 32
3 beautiful girls - 11, 9, 7 and angel baby 7/9/10
D-Day 1/07 - 1+ yr PA
OW 35
OC born 12/06
R since 2/07 and going well

Posts: 135 | Registered: Jun 2008
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, April 6th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks want2bok.

I mistakenly thought that since COM's $$$ will be so much from SS for 2010, that we (fWH & I) really aren't supporting them @all. I have fear of IRS though. I will probably get our stuff done next Feb/Mar so I won't feel so panicky.

Adding OC to our return this year was a little scary too, since she's so old (thought it might raise a red flag).


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Cool  Posted: 10:50 AM, April 6th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hope everyone's Easter was wonderful & any tiny COM had a visit from the Easter Bunny :)


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, April 7th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW signed the form w/no problem. I'm surprised she didn't try to talk 2 me....OC just ran it over 2 car & OW signed & put her SSN.

OC complained that OW & BH#2 were fighting b4 dropoff (and before/during their dinner @mexican restaurant). Apparently, BH#2 (who was on unemployment most of last year), just switched from a temp job to a new job that started Monday. OW told BH#2 that she needs $2000 to buy herself a car, that even though OC is in-school, BH#2 is @work, & toddler is @preschool, she doesn't like sharing car w/BH#2 (he occasionally needs to keep the car w/him). For people who had 2 vehicles repossessed last year & were in dire straights...seems like OW is quick to spend $$$. I'm wondering where all the $$$ is coming from (OC's SS checks, perhaps?).

I'm sure BH#2 doesn't much trust OW to be roaming the county alone (w/out kids)...all day, while he's @work (especially her being DISABLED & all). I still cannot figure out why she had to waste $$$ putting toddler-sis into preschool, when OC already told me that OW was teaching her sister ABC, numbers, etc. SAHD/fWH rarely leaves home, except to get kids from bus...guess OW found lots of stuff to do daily/weekly since she's become SAHM/OW. I'm kinda glad now, that fWH wants DS13 to be homeschooled 1 more year...I feel more secure when I know where fWH is @all times. Wonder if OW has her sights on another OM or OW? fWH suspects OW might be bi-sexual & has long suspected BH#2 is gay (but concealing it from his mother by marrying & conceiving toddler sis w/OW).


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, April 7th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know this is just nit-picky, but shouldn't OW consult us before spilling-the-beans about the Easter Bunny & Santa Claus?

Assuming DS10 & OC9 still believed in the EasterBunny, I sneakily sat out baskets Sunday night b4 going 2 bed. DS13 & DS10 got theirs Sunday morning, OC got hers last night.

Anyway, when we went to Wal-mart last night, OC said something odd like "I didn't get my basket until half the day was over on Sunday." Bunny running late? I just dismissed it.

Well, last night, DS10 was talking about something OC9 had in her basket @our house. She promptly told DS10 "There's no such thing as the Easter Bunny."

Isn't it common courtesy before telling kids there's no Bunny or Claus, to consult the other household. We weren't quite ready to break the news to DS10 about bunny, but he kinda suspects no Tooth Fairy & has been questioning about Santa.


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, April 7th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It really pissed me off about Bunny, for some reason. So, I texted OW about Santa. They've told OC there's no Santa too! How sad....we really thought she believed Santa got her stuff for last Christmas.

Isn't that something fWH should have been consulted about???

She said OC has known for over a year about both. So sad. OC was either still 8, or maybe even still 7 when they told her. Santa comes to our house, why didn't she warn us that OC knew???

DS13 knew, but we only confirmed this past holiday & let him put in a vote for his Santa gifts. DS13 was sworn to secrecy in relation to telling DS10 & OC9 though.

[This message edited by repeatBS326 at 3:29 PM, April 7th (Wednesday)]


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
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