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Formydaughters (original poster member #27458) posted at 11:08 PM on Monday, February 8th, 2010
So many of you were so good to me last week I felt compelled to post this.
It's been 9 days since D-day and I am in an incredibly better place.
The mental movies still haunt some. But I think it helps that the OM is this dweebie P.O.S. that I don't feel threatened by in the br. Satisfying my wife has always been easy and natural. That has not changed.
We have had sex 4 times but I have not made love to her yet. It will come.
The biggest thing is my wife. I genuinely feel in my heart that she will never do this again. She put her toe in the water and it wasn't something she wanted. He could give her the world (hes a doctor) and the world isn't close to what she has at home with me and her daughters.
Don't get me wrong. This is the worse thing ever.
But I believe we will grow and even better I will have the marriage I always wanted.
Ask yourselves if your spouses love you and you love them. If both are true then forgive and move forward getting all the things on the table you ever wanted. Get your pride back and chin up. There are a lot if people in this world with far worse things. I have 2 beautiful healthy daughters. If that changed then id truly be devastated.
I know I will have fallbacks but for now I am better and so can you. Ask those questions and look into your hearts for the answers.
Of course fool me twice and shame on me. But for now I will I am just going to love my wife.
Me 43
ExWW 42
M 10 yrs
Dday#1 1/30/10 PA CoW
Divorced 2/2/11
DDay #2 TT Dif PA w Dif CoW during our M 8/12 (Fk if I cared)
Two DD 8 & 11
A new life 12/12
My story- Life After
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=552763
LadyLuck ( member #27321) posted at 12:18 AM on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010
((((formyfamily))))
Keep your chin up! Sounds like you are cautiously optimistic.
"Only through struggle have I found rest, with a piece of me taken away."
-As I Lay Dying
betrayednewmommy ( member #27444) posted at 12:30 AM on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010
(((formyfamily)))
I am glad to know I'm not the only one that can already see a light at the end of the tunnel - granted that tunnel is still incredibly long. I was just saying last night that as horrible as our situation is, it could have been so much worse.
My WH is remorseful and fully complied with every request I have had without hesitation. His fog has lifted and reality has set in on him too. He is now sharing my burden and that is a huge comfort for me. Right now, I can only be positive and have full faith that we can move forward from here.
sosad_ithurts ( member #27143) posted at 12:42 AM on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010
I sort of feel the same way as why delay something if you both know what you really want. My counselor told me I wasn't being true to my feelings and I was sweeping things under the rug. I know I feel hurt and betrayed and my H has a lot of work to do to make things better, but why should I have to walk around sad all day. I guess I have mixed feelings about this. I'd like to be optimistic and think that things will get better, but I'm so afraid of being hurt again.
All I can say is good for you for having such a positive attitude.
WH 32
BS 32
Married 6 years ...together 14
dday 12/5/09
trickle trickle trickle
dday#5 2/3/09 --- 2 year EA/PA
***********************************
it looks good on paper, but my heart tells me another story
aliveagain ( member #25751) posted at 12:47 AM on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010
Just be carefull, it has only been 9 days, her affair was 5 weeks with another man. Did you discover the affair or did she come clean? I guess the best advice is to continue to monitor.
gma56 ( member #19595) posted at 8:54 AM on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010
That's great she's remorseful but you need to fix what is broken. She has something broken and she needs to do the work to fix herself. Don't sweep this under the rug it will come back to haunt both of you. Also remember she has told you some huge lies....actions tell all. Nail it now. IC/MC/clergy. It's your M so make sure it heals right. 
BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.
BetrayedSAHM ( member #27305) posted at 1:26 PM on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010
formyfamily -
I totally relate to what you are feeling... it feels good to finally start to see a path toward reconciling your marriage and being happy again.
You'll have lots of good days (like this) and still some bad days. And based on what other SIers, say, it will be a very long time before it's mostly good days.
But it's great that she realizes that she made a mistake and wants to R with you.
(BTW, I'm jealous about your perception of the OM. In my case, OW is really attractive and slender. 
Best of luck!
Totally divorced and moved on. Life is fantastic
DS(9) & DD(9)
Dday: 1/1/2010
Formydaughters (original poster member #27458) posted at 12:48 AM on Wednesday, February 10th, 2010
Went to mc today and a lot of good came of it. Bottom line is I know my wife loves me, wants to reconcile and will never do this to me again. If we were not able to reconcile we would split before another act of infidelity.
Keep your heads up people. Find pride and stand tall. The power of positive thinking is more than a saying.
I wish all of you the best
D.
[This message edited by formyfamily123 at 6:50 PM, February 9th (Tuesday)]
Me 43
ExWW 42
M 10 yrs
Dday#1 1/30/10 PA CoW
Divorced 2/2/11
DDay #2 TT Dif PA w Dif CoW during our M 8/12 (Fk if I cared)
Two DD 8 & 11
A new life 12/12
My story- Life After
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=552763
This Topic is Archived
