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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affair X V I I
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, May 12th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honest - you sound good! And, actually everyone sounds pretty good here - that's great!

My H & I rented a movie last night - he picked "serious Moonlight" with Meg Ryan from the Red Box (not many choices). Said he picked it because he figured it would be a romantic comedy & I would like it.
Well, for those of you who may not have seen it - the 1st 30 minutes is the W coming to their vacation house early to meet her husband, finding rose petals all over the place -only to learn that the H was there early to - but so that he could meet ow & jet off with her to Paris the next day. He was in the process of writing her a "dear john" letter when she walked in.
Well, I lasted 30 minutes without triggering - but once Meg Ryan (the bw)started crying, I knew I was going to lose it.
So, I told my H I didn't think this movie was for us.
I have to say - I thought it was very strange that he wouldn't at least feel awkward in this kind of situation. And, he kind of made light of the situation -saying don't you want to see if it gets better - maybe the bw kills him, etc.
Things have been better between us lately, so maybe he doesn't think it's a big deal for me to watch something like this. (I know in the past he has said he knows I will be thinking about the A anytime it comes up in the news, movies, etc for the rest of my life).
I really wasn't upset after we turned it off - and we were able to enjoy the evening watching other stuff. I guess I don't like that anything having to do with the A can be funny or the subject of a joke. (Not that that's exactly what happened,but I hope you know what I mean). I guess I worry that he might not be taking the whole A thing seriously enough. Or, maybe it's a sign that he thinks we're ok enough that he can make light of it? Idk.
I was just curious about others' experiences with this kind of thing.
Any thoughts?

[This message edited by Allgoodnamesgone at 12:24 PM, May 12th (Wednesday)]


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, May 12th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ats: it sounds as though you have had a bit of a breakthrough with each other and with expectations...keeping those lines of communication open now will be key i think....keep talking to one another...it really sounds like you both have gotten some insight from each other and are working together while you work indivually...not an easy task,but one to be commended...

so yay ats and mrs ats..


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, May 12th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We are doing better. She has also been reading Not Just Friends (finally). Last night she said to me, you know there is some really good stuff in here.

She may also have a new opportunity to escape from her job in hell, and we are workign on a step that may get us some real financial relief.


LTA BS 53
FWW 60
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Reconciled

Posts: 3967 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, May 12th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Allgood. I think that things like this just show that no matter how much we/they think that they "get it" most often they do not totally understand what they have caused. The BS definition of taking this seriously enough and the WS definition seem to be a little different. The thing they want the most is for all of this to just go away. Maybe he does think that it is o.k. to make light of the situation because he feels you are getting better about things. Maybe he had a brain fart. My W has never made light of any A related things. When something comes on the tube or radio about someone's A, she gets real quiet. I do not think she made one comment during the Pres. Clinton mess. Not one! She only has said one minor thing about the Tiger A. I really do not think she could ever see anything funny about affairs. Of course I did not think she would have As either. She does not like movies that much so watching a A themed movie would probably never happen.

Speaking of movies. It's Complicated. I have no idea what that movie is about, but.. I once asked my W why she had the A. Her answer was, "Well, It's complicated." Those comercials for that movie kind of pissed me off a little.

Hugs to the tribe.


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 1:05 PM, May 12th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

allgood: its kind of curious that he would pick that kind of movie...and pretty much everytime an a comes up on tv which is all the time, its triggery...i think mr allgood handled it well....so yay mr allgood


i know i would like to see its complicated...watching a movie that contains this shit that has humor for me is quite cathartic...hopfully this one will be just that..


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, May 12th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

miracle. You did not answer my question about the moonshine. I really need to know this information.


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, May 12th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

how can I – it was just a thought, that’s all and I wondered if it was relevant to your situation. His ay of using the affair is extremely common. It is an escape into fantasy, but only for a short while and then it becomes tangled and they don’t seem able to find a way out. Whatever happens, they lose and so they carry on hoping that the OP will eventually tire and move on. If you go back and read my WH’s poem, he was in just the same situation and so chose “abdication” rather than do anything.

What do you want to happen now? In your preferred scenario?

Allgood,

I thought it was very strange that he wouldn't at least feel awkward in this kind of situation. And, he kind of made light of the situation -saying don't you want to see if it gets better - maybe the bw kills him, etc.
Well, FWH often said the same thing. We were watching Sliding Doors soon after d-day – an ex-gf scene, ugh – when I asked him when he last had sex with MOW and he fessed up to a casual “few months ago” (which it wasn’t, but never mind). He asked why the film set me off(?????!) and said he thought it would be nice to watch because it was a good film!! Very much an AAAARRRRGGGHHHH, you fucking idiot moment. So my take is, your H just didn’t think of how YOU might feel. Sheesh.

Ats, a brilliant post. Very, very positive and def something to work on. Stay with it and it seems your FWW is finding some very hard truths about herself, relationships and life. Way to go!

Gotta go. FWH is due back any minute and I have chicken breast on a bed of wilted spinach with shitake mushrooms (couldn’t get morels) and a sauce of shallot, white wine and cream. Yum!

this didn't want to go...... Hope the website's ok after the little bit of trouble this morning. If I don't see you - HUGS!
(((((((((TRIBE)))))))))

[This message edited by UKgirl at 2:42 PM, May 12th (Wednesday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
nofun
♀ Member
Member # 24546
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, May 12th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think everyone seems a bit better. I sure hope so.

allgood - this is something my H would do...because he doesn't quite get it. My H thinks when I am happy that things are good, things are back to where they were. He still doesn't get the concept that things are DIFFERENT now.

Honest, you sound better.

Well, I'm coming to Long Island next week to see my grand baby. I'm taking a week off for some time for me! FWH asked if he needed to be afraid if some guy paid attention to me? He says he worries about that. I probably said the wrong thing, but I said "absolutely". I know I shouldn't have said that...but I couldn't help it. I think deep down I still want to hurt him.


BS (me) 56
WH 61
M 36 yrs
OW - 55 - Howdy Doody Look Alike
3 Awesome Adult C
DD 6/7/09
LTA 12 years.
Confused: D or R???

Posts: 987 | Registered: Jun 2009
booger bear
♀ Member
Member # 26584
Content  Posted: 5:21 PM, May 12th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hey all ... checking in ... I are watching weather tonight ... all stormy and weird looking out again ....

anyway I bombed my math test on moday ... but he gave it to us to bring home and make our corrections and hand it back in morrow ...

thank god .... math is soooooo not my subject at all ... soooo I gonna be busy tonight ...

send me mojo for morrow ...

***tribe***


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18711 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, May 12th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

have almost zero time, dd17 needs to go back to the school tonite for a ceremony for national honors society..she is part of the seniors weloming in the juniors...

had to get this in because this is really really important stuff..

super quick note: fun...long island is where some of us live and would love it if you have time to g2g..pm me and we could def arrange something...i will be in and i am sure honest will be...and maybe allgood if her schedule permits..

o.k. times up need to run..bbl


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
how can I go on
♀ New Member
Member # 27432
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, May 12th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

honesttoafault
H is not religious he is an Atheist and OW is Swedish and a Christian, OC has been baptised and is not circumcised something he insisted on for our boy.

Our marriage was not registered in Turkey because boys have to do military service when they are 18 and H and I did not want that. However shortly after dday I made him register our marriage. Nobody has asked about children so far they were just surprised that we had been married for so long and fined H.

Turkish Law sucks according to H and is unfair to women but things are changing as they want to join the European Union.

I asked H again this evening on internet (he is in Turkey, I am joining him on Saturday) for my name to be added on to our properties and he said we will download forms from the Land Registry and complete them in Turkey and lodge them on our return to UK. While I am in Turkey I’ll ask him to add my name on to our Turkish properties. I will keep you posted.

After dday when we found out about the OC we were all nice to him he is an innocent party in this mess. He came to H office to see H he was surprised I worked there. We took him to a restaurant and he phoned his mum to tell her he would be late and his face dropped, she said “so you are playing fucking happy families with them”. OC has since visited us at our home many times, I sorted out photographs of H family to give to him. I bought him presents and so forth. I could not get over how he looked exactly like our own children, he is the spitting image of H and our own son when they were 18 years old all 3 of them looked like the same person in photographs. I loved this kid he looked exactly like my own children. I don’t know if I would feel like that if he were blond and blue eyed like OW. OC had to keep it a secret from his mum when he visited us after that.

OC turned against my son and I after August 2009. OC also wrote an email to my son saying that H had told his mum years ago that H could not leave me as I said I would kill our children and myself if he left us. Which is utter rubbish, they don’t realise that H lied to them too.

I found the OC thread but it was all about young babies and it did not seem relevant to my situation but I will look at it again and I will try the healing library.

Thank you for your interest and suggestions it is so good to talk to other people who know what I am going through. Hugs

ukgirl
Where do I look for your husband’s poem? I would like to read it.

My perfect scenario would be for H to get everything in order legally for me to feel secure that he doesn’t cheat me and our children out of everything we have worked for.

I absolutely adore living in Turkey, I want to paint, write and help out with homeless street dogs and cats.

I still enjoy my H’s company despite everything we still get on well. I am learning a lot here on SI and I have been absolutely euphoric since posting on here perhaps I will come down with a bump soon.


Posts: 22 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: London and Bodrum,Turkey
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, May 12th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

atsen: It sounds as if you and your wife are on the road to R. I am so happy for you. It will be a long and hard process, but since you both are trying and are committed to the marriage, this sounds so positive. I am so happy for you.

Allgood: I'm glad that your WH didn't make a big deal about not watching the movie. I don' know if all WS's CAN get it. It probably involves so much introspection that they are not capable of.

Nofun: Let us know by pm when you are coming, and perhaps we can have a g2g.

HowcanIgoOn: I'm glad that you have been able to have a relationship with OC. This is something I was willing to do if there was little or no contact, but alas, that is not to be for me. He says he wants both of us and will not give her up.

UKgirl: Yes, abdication. That's what WH is doing. When I told him 2 months ago choose....me or her, he answered, "Neither". <sigh>

Nothing much is going on right now. I'm going to try to talk to him tomorrow about finances, so pray for me. The battle may just begin for real.

{{{{Tribe}}}}}


Posts: 1903 | Registered: Jan 2010
booger bear
♀ Member
Member # 26584
Content  Posted: 7:51 PM, May 12th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hey all you NY's and NJ's go check out F & G .... someone is gonna be in your area and wants to set up a mini g2g ....

***tribe***


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18711 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 11:25 PM, May 12th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

dip: so you need an answer:...well the answer is NO...i read the bottle it has rum....and i find nothing wrong with choc chips in a drink...did you ever drink choc milk, or a black russian or even a white russian...along the same concept....a delicious concept...it doesn't really feel like you are drinking, that is til you try to do something

coherently...

honest: i must have missed your last posts...i actually missed a few posts today either from cross posting, yes i took long on a few...or just from the way it came up today...i wonder if that had anything to do with the down time this am

anyways, you did sound good but very very hesitant...and i can certainly understand that hesitancy..

and yes of course i will be praying for you, i have been...i am also praying for a little karma, both ways of course...you know there is good karma too...

ats: wow she is reading the book too...sounds very hopeful


ukgirl: that dish sound really really good...


fun:

FWH asked if he needed to be afraid if some guy paid attention to me? He says he worries about that. I probably said the wrong thing, but I said "absolutely". I know I shouldn't have said that...but I couldn't help it. I think deep down I still want to hurt him.

i understand all of this all too well....


booger: i hope you took your time with those corrections...if there is anything you don't understand send a shout out to moo...had to do that twice for my dd17...he is another of my si angels you know...

and sending you some good old si mojo too...


go on:

My perfect scenario would be for H to get everything in order legally for me to feel secure that he doesn’t cheat me and our children out of everything we have worked for.

would you be doing this for your security while you stay in the marriage or for getting out of the marriage...

and i would be very careful, if i remember correctly turkish law among some other backwards countries for women hold women in contempt and it doesn't take much to change things, just the husbands word on any of it...so you might want to get a lawyer who specializes in this kind of stuff to make sure what ever he draws up is airtight...especially since there is an oc involved...a male oc neverless...

(((((tribe)))))



i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
lovinlife
♀ Member
Member # 17863
Default  Posted: 6:37 AM, May 13th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Kind of a weird day...

my great neice lost her baby--- he was only 5 months old. A little too old for SIDS, so they are having it checked out!
They have a daughter as well and she is very confused! Please keep them in your prayers!

On the reverse side... just found out that my daughter will graduate Sunday with HONORS!!! Such a proud Mom I am! She also had a response from one of our local school districts. Please pray that she gets the job and then she will be a "true" K teacher!!! She is an Early Childhood graduate.

Glad to see that things are going well, or at least better for most!

Lovin


Together more than half our lives.

I am woman, hear me ROAR!!
What you accept, you teach!

Me 53, WS 54
Reconciled for life!
DD 24, DS 27


Posts: 1159 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: Missouri
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 6:37 AM, May 13th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FWH asked if he needed to be afraid if some guy paid attention to me? He says he worries about that. I probably said the wrong thing, but I said "absolutely". I know I shouldn't have said that...but I couldn't help it. I think deep down I still want to hurt him.
I think I must have spent my married life either blind or at least with blinkers on. I never noticed the attentions of other men, never recognised flirting, never took a compliment as a come on. I actually wasn’t interested. Not at all. Some men might have been smart or good looking or funny, but I never thought that they could possibly be interested in me as a female, a sexually attractive female, I assumed they were being polite to me because I was DH’s wife. Since d-day, well I have seen men – all men – in a different way. But H seems to think I wouldn’t cheat. He says it’s not in me. The thing is, having never been tempted before, never crossed my mind, I don’t think I could now say never. My conscious thought processes rather than my innate senses or subconscious now decides. Ramble over.

they were just surprised that we had been married for so long and fined H.
Huh? Where were you married and if in the UK, how can they “fine” you? Is your H a Turkish citizen or British? I had assumed he was a Brit but of Turkish parentage.

I’m not surprised at OW’s reaction to her son visiting you and your family. Classic jealousy and fear that he will no longer see her as his whole family and jealousy that he will see you as the wife and his mother as the mistress. Things are said and done for self protection, whether they are lies or not is irrelevant. In the end, OC would be bound to side with his mother and your boys with you – that is simply the way of nature. There are books on step families and perhaps you could find those kind of books useful to adapt for your situation. Just a thought, you are dealing with the same types of infighting and jealousies.

Finally, be sure to have your own lawyer look at everything you are doing. Check the detail – that’s where the complexities lie – in the detail. And if you can find one who does Turkish and UK law, so much the better.

Where do I look for your husband’s poem? I would like to read it.
Waaaay back on page 42. But better be quick, we’ll be on a new thread soon!!!

Let us know by pm when you are coming, and perhaps we can have a g2g.
hey all you NY's and NJ's go check out F & G .... someone is gonna be in your area and wants to set up a mini g2g ....
I wanna come……………. >>>sulk<<<

Booger – mojo, mojo, major mojo!! Maths, ugh. Not my strong point either.

[This message edited by UKgirl at 6:40 AM, May 13th (Thursday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 8:34 AM, May 13th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lovin:

my great neice lost her baby--- he was only 5 months old. A little too old for SIDS, so they are having it checked out!
They have a daughter as well and she is very confused! Please keep them in your prayers!

oh lovin this is so so sad.. ...i am so sorry for this loss for all of you....and his poor sister...sending prayers for all....

and congrats mom on dd honors ...way cool...

sending those prayers and mojo as well for a job


ukgirl:

The thing is, having never been tempted before, never crossed my mind,

me too...and this has changed for me too...but i am also not in r as you are...so if a temptation comes along for you, i hope you do what would feel right for the day after...


Let us know by pm when you are coming, and perhaps we can have a g2g.
hey all you NY's and NJ's go check out F & G .... someone is gonna be in your area and wants to set up a mini g2g ....
I wanna come……………. >>>sulk<<<

you can come...i will even provide you with a place to stay ...and for the record when you brits have your g2g in june i will be just as jealous...


(((((tribe)))))


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
Lost Heart2
♀ Member
Member # 21793
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, May 13th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh Lovin. I am so sorry about your gniece's baby.
How old is the other daughter? Maybe you can find some story books (age appropiate) which which talk about a siblings death? Sometimes it makes it a little easier to understand when its in a story, KWIM?

Re your DD - if she is anything like her mom, she will fending off job offers! All the best.

***
Tribe,
I have been lurking for the week, having been put on bedrest. I DO NOT do sick well. So am taking some strain...doing nothing.

Anyway, I have a job interview tomorrow and was hoping you could send some good vibes my way. TIA.

***
((((Tribe))))


LTA BS

Dday#1 02.06.06
Dday#2 28.11.06


Mind what you love. Mind how you are loved.


Posts: 471 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: London, UK
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, May 13th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

so so good to hear from you lh2...not good that you are on bedrest...i hope whatever it is it is past...

and of course we will send you mojo

MOJO MOJO MOJO...let us know how it turns out...

(((lh2)))


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, May 13th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Allgood - My H is the first to turn off anything as soon as even the suggestion of A gets mentioned. He is super sensitive and if I am already watching something that remotely refers to an A and he walks in he gets upset and asks "why are you watching this." Of course, some movies set me off and he gets the brunt of it and so he wants us to have nothing to do with any show about A's.

Dip - I did see "It's Complicated" (hoping this isn't going to trigger you but since you did mention it ) and actually I liked it alot. Of course I am a huge Meryl Streep fan but it was a very good movie and I thought the message was positive on some level. Now I don't want this to be a spoiler so don't read on if you plan on seeing it, but one of the things that struck me (and actually choked me up a bit) was a scene where Streep, Baldwin and their 3 children were all out to dinner celebrating their son's college graduation. (Baldmin was married to the OW but she wasn't present). Anyway, they were all sitting around the table and Baldwin was very emotional about being with his family and one of the D's made a toast about how great it was for all of them to be together again and I actually started to cry. It made me realize why I have worked so hard to keep my family together. There are so many amazing celebrations as family and I knew I would have regretted splitting us apart and not having those beautiful moments to share as a family. My children (all adults) all told me they would support any decision I made after d-day but when I asked each one individually what they had hoped for they all admitted to me that they wanted us to stay together. Throughout the years of recovery, and on my weakest days, I have reminded myself of this and it kept me motivated to hang in there and give my M the best chance of survival that I could. To date, I have not regretted my decision. Here's hoping.

Miracle & Lovin, congrats on the wonderful achievements of your DD's. These are proud moments for everyone!

LH2 - it's good to see you again. Sorry to hear you're not feeling well but hopefully the bedrest will be just what you need to be up and running again soon.
So, is this new job opportunity in the same field or one that isn't quite so emotionally draining? I have no doubt at all that you will get good news but will send you some good vibes just the same.

Honest - We'll all be thinking of you today and sending lots of good vibes. I do hope you are able to settle things financially with your H today or at the very least, begin the process and that he is cooperative and reasonable. Please try to let us know how this went. You know we are all with you in spirit.

HCIGO - welcome to our unique corner of SI. You have gotten some very good advice here, especially those dealing with the legal issues. Keep posting and I'm glad that you have found this place and that it is helping you. It has saved so many of us.

Atsen - Wow, your W seems to be coming out of her fog. I think the fact that she took that book on the plane with her is a very good sign and even a better sign that she is finding it to be very helpful. Wishing you both good luck with the financial relief and also hoping your W is able to get free of her "job from hell." R is tough enough so easing the other burdens in our lives makes it easier to focus on the important task of surviving their LTAs.

Hugs to the tribe.

[This message edited by forgivenotforget at 3:52 PM, May 13th (Thursday)]


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
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