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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 5
SourCherryDrops
♂ Member
Member # 25883
Default  Posted: 2:24 AM, August 25th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ive never tried boxing, but i suspect that its probably about as good a tool for burning off anger and frustration as you can get.

@H&L: start easy and work up from there, If you can only manage a few mins brisk walking its still a win, its a win for you over your inner couch potatoe (and we all got one of those) ... just keep building slowly.

Last weekend i ran a 20k trail race (just short of a half marathon) in 1:35, that puts my pace above my best halfmarathon time from when i was last running (some 6-8 years ago) only 6 months ago i was struggling to finish a 2 mile jog without looking like i was about to expire, I just made sure that i didnt let the inner couch potatoe talk me out of doing a scheduled run.

oh and on a positive note, a couple of ladies from the art studio round the corner from where i live thought i was 10 years younger than i really am.... who said stealing your wives anti-aging creme wouldnt pay off


Me BS 37, Her STBX 34, 1*ONS, 1*EA 1*PA/EA, 2*PA
Heading for D after 9 mths of R

Posts: 1468 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Europe
FatherofFour
♂ Member
Member # 24263
Default  Posted: 6:13 AM, August 25th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm trying to figure out why, in the 20 years I gave to my XWW, I didn't cheat. After all, I'm a man. All men are nothing but walking cocks who can't control their impulses, right? Who would throw away their families in a heart beat if it meant getting their knob vigorously polished by some big tittied 20-something. Right? Right?!?!

I'm so FUCKING tired of hearing that.


Posts: 2767 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: MN
june2010
♂ Member
Member # 29235
Default  Posted: 6:29 AM, August 25th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yes, we are. at least enough of us are to create the stereotype.
stereotypes typically are rooted in some kernel of truth. fun part is, there is often a good sized group of people (probably the majority in many cases) who dont fit the stereotype.

Posts: 292 | Registered: Aug 2010
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, August 25th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Between both my marriages total "married time" is over 10 years. I've had plenty of opportunities with some beautiful women but its not my style. Goes against every moral, value, and standard that I hold myself to, even if ex #1 and current didnt do the same.

BUT....after ex#1 and before current wife, believe you me I took advantage of many of those beautiful women and their offers


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
Jimi40
♂ Member
Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 10:06 AM, August 25th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So many new guys. It makes me sad to think that some decent, hardworking, loving
husbands, have been thrown into this pit. Probably a bunch of nice guys, screwed over by women who think they can have everything they want. To you my friends, a toast........ 64? Toast these new guys, will ya?


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, August 25th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yes jimi, a toast to the new fellas-I'm @work so I'll raise my iced tea to ya'll right now...

[This message edited by 64fleet at 10:22 AM, August 25th (Wednesday)]


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5359 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
Jimi40
♂ Member
Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, August 25th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You see, my friends, at this very moment, the polar opposites of betrayed men. Yet, a short 3 years ago, I was at 64's end of the spectrum. Then there is Winc, the "never say never" story.

I raise my glass, unfortunately non alcoholic also, to you guys. Stay strong, and be true to yourselves.


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 11:23 AM, August 25th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A toast.

May the OM develop permanent explosive diarrhea.
May his cock be covered in puss oozing sores.
May his balls shrivel to raisins.
May the OM become morbidly obese.
May his body be covered in a contagious and ugly body rash.
May his W or GF leave him for another man.
May he spend the rest of his life lonely and alone.

May our WW return to reason.
May our WW find remorse.
May our WW develop empathy.
May they truly regret their A.
May our WW finally and truly throw the OM under the bus.
May our WW finally tell us the complete truth.
May our WW finally become the women we thought we married.

May we find freedom to either stay or go.
May we know that we are men of immense value and courage.
May we discover that we are truly valued by our WW.
May we learn that we are finally first in her heart.

Raise you glasses Lads.
To LIFE
To TRUTH
To FREEDOM


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3086 | Registered: Sep 2007
somanyyears
♂ Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, August 25th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


..AMEN..to all of that Razor..

..and may i add..

..May the OM die a long, slow, painful death..

..a nasty body rash is just not going to do it for me!!

..nothing short of him in his grave will suffice..

..'hate' is, indeed, a powerful emotion!!

no mercy, no compassion, no empathy ..only hatred..that's just the way it is now..

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 66
Her 63
Married 41 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4018 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, August 25th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

y'know, at first I was pissed at the spineless bastard that was seeing my WW, but then realized SHE chased HIM-he was getting pussy on a platter-hard ta fault him.

since thne I have redirected my anger towards her, where it belongs-OMM never promised me shit.


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5359 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
Jimi40
♂ Member
Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, August 25th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And that's the reality of it, 64. He didn't do this to you, she did! Now, if he was a friend, well thats a whole different thread.


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, August 25th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

nope, def not a friend, he is over an office full of women in the state employee ins dept-one of her enabling friends works under him. He's a rich guy who lives in a $500k+ house by the river-I'm sure his BS had money, cause he sure don't get it from this state.

technically, I guess my WW was under him as well


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5359 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
Jimi40
♂ Member
Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, August 25th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Literally!


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, August 25th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here's to all the newbies! Sorry you're here gentlemen.

The OM in my case is a firedick (I save the firefighter term for the good guys) who mowed our yard! The only women he goes after are married women... He simply goes in and steals married women... He dumps them shortly after the divorce or in my case after I moved out...

I never really knew the emotion of hate before this but I live it now...

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5893 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
Betrayed-n-Hurt
♂ New Member
Member # 29181
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, August 25th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Howdy Gentlemen!

My 1st post, so go easy on me!!

I read through most of the responses in this thread, and can honestly say how good it makes me feel to know that my thoughts & actions are "normal". Well, as normal as they can be considering...

Yes, I too tore my ring off when I confirmed the affair on D-Day 2. She stopped wearing hers a few months after I think to just piss me off, even though I know how much she likes to wear it "cuz it's pretty"! ;-)

I'm currently living "separated" together, and have pulled what I think has been a nearly perfect 180 on her. It's kinda cruel, but then again after what she did to me and the kids, it doesn't even come close.

Long story short, we're "happily reconciling" (well NOT ME), and are about to go on our annual family vacation, which I want to be drama-free for me & the kids. What she doesn't know is that when we get back...she gets served.

Sorry for the long post, but just want y'all to know that I look forward to being a part of this forum, and meeting/hearing from y'all.

Enjoy your evening...drinks on me!


ME: 39
HER: 42
MARRIED: 13 years now...not too much longer though!
KIDS: 12 & 9 (two girls)
DDAY #1: 4/12/10
DDAY #2: 7/17/10

*New to SI, so once I figure out all the acronyms, I'll change my signature! ;-)


Posts: 1 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Northern VA
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, August 25th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

welcome to the group W bench, B&H.

I would love ta see the look on her face when she's served...


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5359 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
Mighty
♂ Member
Member # 26909
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, August 25th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Betrayed-n-Hurt... Welcome. Read your profile, and I know it hurts. You aren’t alone in this as you can tell. Sorry you got to the point where you can’t continue the marriage, but really understand where you are coming from. I think it’s extremely hard to forgive our spouses for this sort of betrayal. Who is this person? Is a common thought around here....

I too planned a “final family trip” so that our kids could have one great last memory of us as a family instead of just remembering those final months as painful. I did go on this vacation without any expectations from my WW at all and had planned on serving her after we got back (even got us separate rooms). The entire purpose was to focus on the kids so they’d have good memories. It worked; I was able to almost entirely drop the affairs out of mind during the trip and let my guard down enough to enjoy it. I even enjoyed my wife’s company as a friend (considering I no longer considered us really married). Anyway, go on this trip and enjoy it all. Just let go and let the dice roll and do not let her suck you back down the rabbit hole....

It was also this trip my WW I think lifted the fog... She was different when we returned so I put off the D to see where this was going; I can file anytime. I’m still in the R, still working on me, and still enjoying life and the kids.....
I wish you luck.


BS (me) 44 WS (her)43
Married 17yrs, Together 20 yrs
Three children (9-13)
D-Day #1 - 4/11/09 (me).. DD's stopped, she quit talking. Body count: 6 OM, 1 OW. (2 EA's, 1 LTPA, 1 PA, 3 "kisses").

Posts: 629 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Denver
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, August 25th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What she doesn't know is that when we get back...she gets served.

Can we get this on video then may be post it to you tube?


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3086 | Registered: Sep 2007
jasper
♂ Member
Member # 28168
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, August 25th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He didn't do this to you, she did! Now, if he was a friend, well thats a whole different thread.

Yeah. That was my thread 4 months ago. Funny thing is, I don't want either of them dead. I want them both to live in a perpetual state of misery and regret. Probably not healthy of me.

Welcome, Betrayed-n-hurt. Sorry you find yourself here, but know that you'll have tons of support and good advice.


Posts: 696 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: New York
zombieman
♂ Member
Member # 28996
Default  Posted: 9:25 PM, August 25th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Guys, I'm back after a couple of interesting days, as I mentioned in my last post I went out in the weekend and had a few drinks, stayed out till 5 in the morning, it was a bittersweet time really, I thought I had closed the door on this part of my life - partying, drinking etc.. And doing it again showed me just how much having a family and settling down does actually mean to me.

Well WW seems almost reborn after this night out, has told me what a selfish inconsiderate bitch she has been, is now in 'best wife I can be mode' it's all really strange. Is making me breakfast in bed, cooking dinners, arranging 'romantic' nights, has her wedding ring back on. Trying to connect with my family again, talking to me a lot about things in her life. Unfortuntatly still won't leave job where POSOM still works - hes leaving 'soon' apparently.
The A is still a taboo subject really, but there are tears and sorrys and you are my person for life etc..

Problem is I've heard a lot of this before and it was all BS as she contacted him again trying to arrange a meetup, so im dubious. I guess a question for anybody here who has had more than 1 D Day and successfully R'd, how do you let go of the doubts, when do you accept their behaviour is sincere and not just more lying and crap? To move on in our life and hopefully get back to being a happy family I need to know Im still not being played for a fool. Her actions are starting to show me this is what she wants and is trying to acheive but I have suffered some pretty full on trauma through this and my bullshit meter is on high alert.

Then there's also the issue of me being absolutely sickened by what she has done to her family and the selfishness she displayed - but I guess time will heal that one. I just need to beleive this is the end of her A and her feelings towards him - the fog is lifted and she is now back on the zombieman train. Meh, sick of the drama in my life, sick of questioning if my W is still a lying psycho. It's all very tiring.

[This message edited by zombieman at 9:30 PM, August 25th (Wednesday)]


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