Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Mercedes66 (46046)

Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: The Life Boat
wincings_sparkle
♀ Member
Member # 27129
Default  Posted: 10:31 PM, May 28th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you GT.

GT is close to WT. An explanation is always welcome.


"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light

Posts: 1594 | Registered: Jan 2010
Crossbow
♂ Member
Member # 15224
Default  Posted: 2:08 AM, May 29th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Excellent analogy. Thank you for writing and sharing this. Excellent.


DDay 7/4/07 found out about online/sexting EA with OM
DDay 7/25/07 found out about OW
In R

2 DSs, ages 8 and 6
DD, 1


Posts: 9376 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Utah
lost_in_toronto
♀ Member
Member # 25395
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, June 24th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump. because this is awesome!


Me: BS/39
Him: WS/37
DDay: August 23, 2009
Together 14 years.
Reconciled.

Posts: 1714 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: not toronto anymore
stillinshockx2
♀ Member
Member # 28638
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, June 25th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BW here. I would give anything if my WH would use this analogy to get us to R, and during R. But 13 weeks after DDay #2, I don't think he will. I want to send it to him, but it would just be begging and chasing. And he is too angry, too defensive to see that it would apply to the work he has to do. He would turn it around and accuse me of failing to do it.


Me: BS, 48; Him: WS, 52
DDay 1 - EA (denies PA) 6-13-05
DDay 2 - EA (denies PA) 3-30-10
DDay 3 - 8-04-10 WH living w/30 yo OW2; still denies PA despite PI proof and won't admit he lives with OW2
2 children (D20, S18)
M 25 years; together 8

Posts: 321 | Registered: May 2010
AREYOUKIDDINGME?
♀ Member
Member # 27864
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, June 28th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BS here. Thank you for writing this. I am going to try and get my WH to read it. Keep bumping for others.


BW-Me 39
D-Day #1 02/09/09 D-Day#2,#3 03/28/09, 03/29/09....Trickled for months. 10 OW
Updated 6/11. Now Married 18 years, 4 boys, 2 daughter-in-laws, 2 princess's born, and 1 cowboy on the way. And the new dog that saved my life many times tha

Posts: 365 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: In a Black Hole just South of Hell
Lost68
♂ Member
Member # 27515
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, July 3rd (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump

Posts: 1476 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Sevilla
wincings_sparkle
♀ Member
Member # 27129
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, July 18th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump for new members.


"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light

Posts: 1594 | Registered: Jan 2010
tryingtofindaway
♂ New Member
Member # 29078
Default  Posted: 1:51 AM, July 19th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What's crazy is that the little lifeboat is more loaded with stuff than the big ship that got destroyed. I'm thankful for the analogy because it fits excactly what I am feeling since I came clean and sunk that ship.

Posts: 50 | Registered: Jul 2010
wincings_sparkle
♀ Member
Member # 27129
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, July 19th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What's crazy is that the little lifeboat is more loaded with stuff than the big ship that got destroyed.


Well, you could look at it as the ship was to big, it created a massive distance because there was to much room for a WS to hide in. When you are in the life boat, it pares it down to the basics. All you have is your spouse, you and your own crap that you have to clean up. All you have to think about is your spouses survival and your own survival. You and all of your crap were on the ship... you just had it all hidden in different compartments and never took the time to throw it overboard.

Coming clean didn't sink the ship, the Affair did. Coming clean gives you a chance to survive in the life boat.


"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light

Posts: 1594 | Registered: Jan 2010
tryingtofindaway
♂ New Member
Member # 29078
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, July 19th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you wincings. That makes perfect sense. I may not of noticed how much was on the big ship, but I damn sure knew where everything was hidden and even better where I could hide.

I'm glad it's gone the big ship and all it's hiding places. Even if we make it back to shore so she can walk the opposite way I am thankful all those cubby holes are gone.


Posts: 50 | Registered: Jul 2010
HurtinginHell
♀ New Member
Member # 29028
Default  Posted: 1:16 AM, July 21st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Printed it off. Excellent post, a very accurate analogy.


D/Day
23 June 2010

Posts: 19 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Southern Hemisphere
wincings_sparkle
♀ Member
Member # 27129
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, August 1st (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump for newbies


"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light

Posts: 1594 | Registered: Jan 2010
wincings_sparkle
♀ Member
Member # 27129
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, September 3rd (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light

Posts: 1594 | Registered: Jan 2010
HUFI-PUFI
♂ Member
Member # 25460
Default  Posted: 7:15 AM, October 28th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumpity bump bump for another classic post. Hard earned wisdom should always be shared.


Donít listen to your head, itís easily confused. Donít listen to your heart, its fickle. Listen to your soul, God doesn't steer you wrong.

Posts: 3289 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Azilda, Northern Ontario
Just plain wrong
♂ New Member
Member # 26921
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, October 29th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow wincings it is amazing how something so simple can seem so difficult until it is put in the proper perspective. That was pretty damn cool.

Posts: 48 | Registered: Dec 2009
Just plain wrong
♂ New Member
Member # 26921
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, October 29th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

[This message edited by Just plain wrong at 7:18 PM, November 3rd (Wednesday)]


Posts: 48 | Registered: Dec 2009
tablehasturned
♀ Member
Member # 29930
Default  Posted: 10:51 PM, October 29th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, thanks again HUFI, another great bump. And wincings....OMG!! I am so glad there are eloquent writers, thinkers and posters in the world like you ... such an inspiration. Thank you.

So sad that I am tangled up in all this seaweed. My one hope now is just to get my BH safely to the shore so he can get out of the boat with his dignity and faith that not everyone will treat him so badly as I have. And maybe on that shore, I can finally rinse off in a nice cool rain shower of the new better me.


Me:fBS now WW(44)Him:fWS now BH(44)
M: 17(tog.25) 2dS(5 & 7)
my DDays:4/19/06, 3/30/09 False R. his DDay:10/25/10 Status: filing for D Hogarth to Iron Giant: "You are what you choose to be. You choose. Choose.

Posts: 64 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: Gulf Coast
Lost68
♂ Member
Member # 27515
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, November 12th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump

Posts: 1476 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Sevilla
Lost68
♂ Member
Member # 27515
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, January 2nd (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump

Posts: 1476 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Sevilla
KickedintheGut
♀ Member
Member # 30086
Default  Posted: 1:42 PM, January 4th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumping because I just came across it and am hoping my WH will start reading on SI.


Me - BW (38) Him (calcitro) - SAWH (38)
2 Kids Working on R
DDay#1 - 11/9/10 - 2 year EA/PA
DDay #2 - 12/9/10
Disclosure - 4/8/11
Timeline - 5/9/11

Posts: 492 | Registered: Nov 2010
Topic Posts: 158
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8

Return to Forum: Wayward Side Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.