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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Npd Thread Part 8
Frank2010
♂ Member
Member # 29438
Default  Posted: 8:54 AM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My next question is if we do not exist to them and they could care less about us or our feelings then why do they say they want to stay?

That is the whole thing about NPD....you are an object that serves a purpose....just like the vaccum cleaner. You are providing him with a service he needs. Whether it be cook, clean, money, ego, or safety net.....You are fulfilling some sort of a purpose for him. As soon as he figures out how to replace you and you are no longer co operative......he will walk away and never look back.


Me 56 BS
Her 59 WS NPD(She is Empty)
D-day#1 05-01-10
Dday#2 06-04-10 previous ONS 9-24-09 AFF hookups

Status: S & D'ing


Posts: 1195 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: North Texas
Frank2010
♂ Member
Member # 29438
Default  Posted: 9:05 AM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now, my next question - how much more disaster and destruction occurs in their lives when the OP is nothing but a border-line, serial cheating drama queen??

For a normal person this would be a disaster. Once you understand NPD, you will see that this can just fuel the NPD. All that focus on them......whewww!!!! How great is that???? When it becomes a problem for the NPD is when the drama queen starts steeling the spotlight.....or starts demanding more from the NPD.....Not a good scenerio for NPD person.

Since they are not as financially and physically entwined with the AP......poof.....they are gone. Time to replace that particular piece of furniture. Just be ready for them to come knocking back at your door.....you were the "good ole stand-by" for so many years so you are the quickest fix and the path of least resistance. You were the easy target before and you will be again. They will be oh so sincere, and oh so loving, and oh so much like the perfect person they were. You will get to see glimpses of who you fell in love with.....(sigh). And as soon as they have re hooked you....blink.....back to NPD asshole.

Ooorrr....you will be the temporary fill in until they can scare up another replacement......since you are getting too wise to them as you get to understand NPD and are much more alert.


Me 56 BS
Her 59 WS NPD(She is Empty)
D-day#1 05-01-10
Dday#2 06-04-10 previous ONS 9-24-09 AFF hookups

Status: S & D'ing


Posts: 1195 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: North Texas
Frank2010
♂ Member
Member # 29438
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The strange thing about NPDs is that they treat others as objects, when in reality they are the object. They are unable to feel and love, just like my end tables.

I am still very intigued by this statement.....can't get it out of my head.

I can so relate to this.....especially the end table.

When you have had end tables for many years you become comfortable with them. you know right where the fingernail clippers are in the drawer, you know exactly where you can set your glass without even looking. KWIM??? It is an inanimate object but you have developed a personal relationship with it. Over the years it becomes stained and nicked and wobbly but you refuse to accept that you need to replace it.

Eventually something happens and you have to let it go....but you just can't. You can see that it is a real mess but you dream about one day fixing it but it is in such bad shape that you can't fix it. The screws are stripped out the dings are too deep the stains too dark.....

Well the day has to come to let go of it. It is beyond repair. As emotionally attached you are to it, it just does not bring you any joy in owning it anymore. You accept that it is just an inanimate object and hss no feelings and provides you with no love even though you loved it.

So you let it go.....get rid of it....set it on the curb and let someone else take care of the ugly ass POS non functional end table.

Then you go shopping for a new end table. You find one that fits perfectly and it is shiny and new and has more features and gives you so much more pleasure since you do not have to look at it and think about how much work it would take to fix it up. It doesn't take long to get comfortable with attached to tne new end table.

One day as you sit and take it all in you wonder to yourself "why did I keep that damned old end table around so long....all this time I could have had this new one"

For those of you that have moved on from your NPD relationships, do you get the resemblence? Right down to the inanimate object persona of the NPD spouse?

For those of you still trying to accept and detach....think about it.

NPDs are nothing more than objects, incapable of feeling. They are beyond repair. All they do is frustrate you.

Just like the end table,If you want the bright shiny new one you have to get rid of the old one to make room for the new one.


Me 56 BS
Her 59 WS NPD(She is Empty)
D-day#1 05-01-10
Dday#2 06-04-10 previous ONS 9-24-09 AFF hookups

Status: S & D'ing


Posts: 1195 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: North Texas
fallenangel02
♀ Member
Member # 15044
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

its insane...

when he is in fighting rage with me...he will be super attached for DS5...he will play for hours and hours to no end.

when we are not fighting...he will not play with him, saying i am tired, i am busy...

so now...WH and DS5 have teamed up against me...he feeds the little one bad things about me...your mom is this and that..she does not care for anyone...and all garbage...and my son says all these things back to me...mom why dont u care about us?

if i answer DS5...my WH will again say somethng..that DS5 will repeat..so its like a conversation is happening thru DS5...so i just ignore...cuz i dont want to play around with DS5's mind...if he wants to mess him up fine..i just dont have the heart to..no matter how evil NPD WH is to me..i never feed negative images of him to my son. ever !
but he does so in split second.

its painful to hear my DS5.

and I am pregnant on a contraception that was to be 99.9% safe ! IUD.
arghhh...worst timing ever...and everyone says...it was meant to be...God wanted it this way.

i was hoping to start working once DS5 starts school and that just bothered wh so much ....he was like have another baby or work and contribute to the house. i was like neither...i will work and keep the money to myself. financial needs are your responsibility, i am still looking after house and DS5.
so the news of pregnancy just made him fly in the sky. that i will be stuck with HIM , in home for another 3-4 years.
he knows very well i will leave him one day. i have told him clearly.

Support is essential to escape. My family does not support me. he is rich, very intelligent and respects my parents more than his own !!!!
he does not beat me...
its all verbal...i have ended up being at my parents 4-5 times when fights were out of control. but my family has always sent me back...they always stayed neutral..never taking fully my side, but playing both sides (if u knwo what i mean..very cleverly)

i have shown my family his craziness...emails, phone calls on speaker phone, recorded conversations...everything !!!

at the end of the day...my familys response...its only words . he provides for you. he doesnt hit you. he takes care of his son...just IGNORE. its not that big of a deal. let it go...he is saying let him say.

they dont get it. i wish they did and supported me.

i dont think i can leave him without my familys support.
i stay quiet and suffer and try to find a support system locally.

funny thing is as i said he never hit me. but that did happen one day when i was at my inlaws. he hit me with a phone on my arm that left a small bruise. i told my family they were very upset...but eventually they said he will not do it again..he was mad thus he did it...and has said sorry so u go back to him.

at times i think HE can leave ME if i cheat on him. he will be so upset...i hope he just divorces me right away..i will be so happy !!!!!!


BS: 26 - me
WH: 31
Dday 1: dec. 27, 2006
dday 2:june 14th 2007

Posts: 268 | Registered: Jun 2007
Frank2010
♂ Member
Member # 29438
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Fallen)))

Your family does not support you???? GRRRRRRRR!!!!

I guess they do not understand verbal and mental abuse.

And He is using DS5 as his support when he is fighting with you. It is easy to get a 5 year old to believe you are the good guy. Is he that desperate to be the good guy that he will mentally abuse the child??? That is sick, sick, sick!!!

Keep looking for state or local help to get you out of there.

I am so sorry the IUD was not effective. This just tightens his grip on you.....I do not know what to say. Just do not allow yourself and especially the children to be condemned to a lifetime of this. If you have to stay just limit the contact with him as much as you can. Go back to the link I posted on page 39. there is a tab that you can click on that helps you learn how to live with NPD person. It may help you learn how to deal with him and survive until you can get out.


Me 56 BS
Her 59 WS NPD(She is Empty)
D-day#1 05-01-10
Dday#2 06-04-10 previous ONS 9-24-09 AFF hookups

Status: S & D'ing


Posts: 1195 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: North Texas
neverbelieve
♀ Member
Member # 32711
Default  Posted: 10:33 AM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((fallenangel02)))

If he's rich is there any way you can take some of that money to get away? After all you're married so it's your money too.

There is no excuse on earth to poison a child against a parent, none at all. Your H is a very sick person to do this.

I sincerely hope you find a way to get away.


When the infrastructure of a building is gone the collapse is inevitable.

Posts: 934 | Registered: Jul 2011
neverbelieve
♀ Member
Member # 32711
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am still very intigued by this statement.....can't get it out of my head

Glad you like it! It's so fitting - they are just objects. I am now thinking of mine as a toy. It's fun to mess with these 'people' once you realize what you're dealing with.

Here's a really fun one that will bother them for months:

In a very calm, basic conversation, laughingly say you hate it when he/she lies to you. Of course you'll get "I don't lie to you" almost instantaneously. Grin back and say "Oh sweetie, you have a tell"

An NPD thinking someone can tell when they're lying because they're giving it away makes them crazy. They'll obsess on it. They'll try to figure out what it is so they can correct the problem. They'll ask you several times what it is. I can't tell you how much fun this is. Also, there is almost no risk of rage or other retribution because, after all, they're not supposed to be lying, so what's the big deal if they have a tell?

So much fun!!!

Remember if you do this, don't talk about it. When they ask what the tell is, just smile and say "if I told you you wouldn't do it anymore" and end the conversation by bringing up something else, like this isn't really a big deal.

And Frank, I love your analogy about getting rid of the old end table you were hanging onto for so long because you thought it still had value. It's perfect!


When the infrastructure of a building is gone the collapse is inevitable.

Posts: 934 | Registered: Jul 2011
toughgirl8
♀ Member
Member # 29812
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Frank and Faith. You have a lot of wisdom to share (although sometimes you probably wish you didn't). It is truly appreciated.

I think I'm accepting my H for what he is and I'm knowing I can no longer live with it. It's just a matter of logistics. His behavior has improved lately but it's too little too late.

I hate how I saw it 12 yrs ago before we got married (he's sick, I'm there, I get sick, he's at the bar), still married him, survived a suicidal depression ('you're a lunatic, you need drugs, it has nothing to do with me') only to move onto a struggle to have children and try to raise his Daughter from a previous relationship (who was raised by my in-laws before me, and who was denied in professional circles due potential changes in peoples perception of him).

How alone I felt through all of it... but proud of myself cause I perservered.

Why did I feel so alone from day 1? He blames my family who rarely visit. I think it's the day to day behavior, the jokes he'd crack at my expense or the ones that were just inappropriate and he never understood why I was always saying 'that's not funny'. I was never a priority for him. Expected to wait around for him, do as he said, and say how high when he said jump.

His vanity..oh the vanity. His addiction is mostly the gym. LOVES to tell me about the people who compliment his looks, and notes how I don't appreciate it.

The emotional abuse has been so subtle until the last 6 months. That's the killer for me. So easy to talk me out of thinking it's mistreatment and he can justify it easily. It wasn't blatant physical abuse. All I knew was how shitty and alone I felt.


Me-37
WH-41
M-12 yrs
D Day-3/2010
4 kiddoes
Some may say I have a short temper, I say I have a swift and assertive reaction to bull sh't. ;)

Posts: 327 | Registered: Oct 2010
neverbelieve
♀ Member
Member # 32711
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

His vanity..oh the vanity. His addiction is mostly the gym. LOVES to tell me about the people who compliment his looks, and notes how I don't appreciate it.

It's sad isn't it? Mine had a really bad case of the flu - had to go to the hospital to be rehydrated - but wouldn't NOT work out. Won't miss a workout, ever.

The emotional abuse has been so subtle until the last 6 months. That's the killer for me. So easy to talk me out of thinking it's mistreatment and he can justify it easily. It wasn't blatant physical abuse. All I knew was how shitty and alone I felt.

Hindsight isn't always a great thing. I know it's really hard to look back and see how they went from perfect to a little distant to small digs that cut at our esteem to full blow abuse. It takes years so it's unnoticed, except for that alone feeling you talk about. Each little dig hurts because we see that perfect person from the beginning as the one that said it. We think we can fix what's wrong and get back to that perfect time. We can't see that what's wrong isn't us, it's them. Once we realize it's them, the timeline of events becomes really clear and we wonder how we could have been so blind.

TG, you did what we all did - fell for Mr. Perfect. The problem is that Mr. Perfect is really Dr. Jeckyl, and Mr. Hyde can't wait to come out.


When the infrastructure of a building is gone the collapse is inevitable.

Posts: 934 | Registered: Jul 2011
Frank2010
♂ Member
Member # 29438
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here's a really fun one that will bother them for months:

Never, you little devil, I love this one. If I ever get the chance I will definitely use this one. I am Detached, Separated, Getting Divorced, and starting a New Beginning (got a new end table)......but if I ever get the chance.....

[This message edited by Frank2010 at 11:12 AM, August 11th (Thursday)]


Me 56 BS
Her 59 WS NPD(She is Empty)
D-day#1 05-01-10
Dday#2 06-04-10 previous ONS 9-24-09 AFF hookups

Status: S & D'ing


Posts: 1195 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: North Texas
neverbelieve
♀ Member
Member # 32711
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Never, you little devil, I love this one. If I ever get the chance I will definitely use this one. I am Detached, Separated, Getting Divorced, and starting a New Beginning......but if I ever get the chance.....

I highly recommend it! It's a very big esteem boost to mess with them in the same way they've messed with us for years. To see that we have the same power they have is truly an empowering moment.

Here's another, although saying they have a tell is the best:

Whatever your NPD is into, make a small comment about them that will send them into overdrive. For example, my NPD is VERY into how he looks physically. Won't miss a workout, needs to have the best body in the room, etc. So, I'll say, almost as if in passing, "Hmmm, your shoulders look smaller today. It's probably just the shirt." and go on about my business. Now the NPD thinks I'm being totally genuine. I mean, that's what weak people like me do, right? So he amps up the shoulder workouts. In a few weeks, I'll ask with a raised eyebrow "Did you dry those pants on high? They look tight for some reason. I told you not to set the dryer on high." So now he thinks he's getting fat. See how this works?


When the infrastructure of a building is gone the collapse is inevitable.

Posts: 934 | Registered: Jul 2011
Frank2010
♂ Member
Member # 29438
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Never you are a total shit!!!! I have never had the chance to really toy with her but I wish I was still married so I could.....well maybe not.....but damn......might as well have some fun with it. Lord knows you can't offset the misery......but you can have fun trying.


Me 56 BS
Her 59 WS NPD(She is Empty)
D-day#1 05-01-10
Dday#2 06-04-10 previous ONS 9-24-09 AFF hookups

Status: S & D'ing


Posts: 1195 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: North Texas
neverbelieve
♀ Member
Member # 32711
Default  Posted: 11:45 AM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, you can't offset the misery, but as long as you're still stuck in it you can have fun. I've also found that doing these things really helps to not get upset or frustrated with them. Once you see what really makes them tick, they become a joke. If you're not upset you never have to fight with them.

Here's another:

Tell him/her that she looks soooooo good in a color, any color. Go almost over the top, like you can't stop yourself from touching them because they just look so good. Within a week they'll buy 10 new things in that color.

Or, find a star with similar coloring/features as the NPD. Then tell them in a 'you know what just hit me' kind of way how great they'd look with that hairstyle. They'll go get that exact cut in days.

Just make sure whatever you do, it's all about THEM. Not how you feel when they do something, or what someone else wants. It has to be all them.

Don't say that 'only stupid people watch this show' about a show they like because they'll just go off on why it's the best show in the world and how you're an idiot for thinking it's only for stupid people and blah blah blah. You can't attack them head on.

My NPD likes to make up statistics to prove his point. He'll say he read that "70% of the people that watch network television don't have a HS diploma" or some other nonsense. That's how he'll dig at me, by saying other people are saying whatever it is he wants to say. A google search will prove he never read anything like that, but he'll insist he did. So I started making up my own. The point here is that you can't attack head on. You have to make it seem like others know what you're saying and that it's fact.

[This message edited by neverbelieve at 11:46 AM, August 11th (Thursday)]


When the infrastructure of a building is gone the collapse is inevitable.

Posts: 934 | Registered: Jul 2011
Frank2010
♂ Member
Member # 29438
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Never,

How long has it been since you accepted or discovered he was NPD??? You seem to have a pretty good handle on dealing with him.

Was he diagnosed or did you just start figuring it out?

And I guess I have to wonder if you are staying permanently and dealing with it or are you planning an escape??

Are there any kiddos involved?


Me 56 BS
Her 59 WS NPD(She is Empty)
D-day#1 05-01-10
Dday#2 06-04-10 previous ONS 9-24-09 AFF hookups

Status: S & D'ing


Posts: 1195 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: North Texas
SierraGrace
♀ Member
Member # 24259
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a LOT of reading to catch up on this issue, but let's just say I now know I spent 6 years beating my head off of a wall with NPD xSO.

I just posted in Book Club that I'm reading "Narcissistic Lovers" by Cynthia Zayn and Kevin Dibble, M.S. and it's like reading about and reliving my life...uncanny, nauseating, but better to learn and have an understanding what it's all about better late and never. What an education and I'm only 1/3rd of the way through.

Thank you for all of the insight on this thread as far as I've read at this point...at least I can put my FINGER on what all has been happening and why, rather than continue to be completely confused and destroyed by it any longer.


BSO(me): 50-ish! How did THAT happen?
~♥~ Fur-kids: 5 Cats ~♥~
Adopt a pet! Save a life!

Posts: 1577 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Sunrises to Sunsets
neverbelieve
♀ Member
Member # 32711
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I discovered his A on 12/29/10. It wasn't long after that that I figured out what I was dealing with. At first I thought he was a full blown SPD, but he isn't. After reading about various personality disorders I discovered exactly what he was. He isn't diagnosed because despite my asking him to go to counseling, and him agreeing, he won't go. It's obvious what he is though. The more I read and watch him, the more it can't be denied.

Besides, he's been to counseling in the past. He leaves laughing, saying he toyed with them the whole time and that they think there's nothing wrong with him. He was court ordered to go for, you guessed it, anger management.

No, I'm planning my escape route now. I did what everyone with an undiagnosed NPD does - I prayed for a sign that this wasn't the problem. No sign ever showed up. So, I decided that since I'm here, I'm going to have some fun.

He's with me for money, I'm fairly certain of that. He even told the OW that he 'gets paid to have sex with me' which is laughable. Now, I know he told her whatever he had to to get what he wanted, but really, who would even think to make something like that up?

Funny thing is that when I leave, ALL the money goes with me. Part of planning my escape is getting a lot more proof of the EA, including chat logs, pics on the phone and whatnot. I've told him before that I'm going to file for infidelity and that I'm going to introduce all of that as evidence. Then, it's a matter of public record and I can blast it all over the net. As you're aware, this would be VERY embarrassing to him and he can't have that!!! This was in the heat of an argument so I guess he thought that his comment that I'd be the one embarrassed and the fact that it was said during a fight meant it wasn't going to happen, but it is. The only way it isn't is if he signs off that he gets NOTHING now or in the future. But first I need to show him what I have, and I'm still gathering it.

No kids. I have kids from a previous marriage but they're 17 and 18 now.

He doesn't work. I make a nice 6 figure salary. Go figure.


When the infrastructure of a building is gone the collapse is inevitable.

Posts: 934 | Registered: Jul 2011
toughgirl8
♀ Member
Member # 29812
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((fallenangel)))

So sorry, you know who you have to ignore right? The family. They have no real clue of the pain you are in and therefore have no say in what you do about it. It's YOUR life. You and your kids deserve to be rid of the abuse. There is nothing in the world that makes that kid of behavior ok. I know about how subtle it can be and they can convince you it's not them who is wrong, it's you. You're crazy, or it's unimportant. If YOU feel it, it IS important.

Never- you are a riot! I can see some of those things working with my H! I completely identify with so much of what you are saying! My H got a little hair transplant and it bugs him when I say I can't see the difference! He was basically in hiding for 2 weeks in our house to hide that he got the transplant! He skipped my nephew's 1st birthday for it among other things..

Hell.. the man took MY make-up on a business trip once. Fine cover a blemish every now and then, but to pack MY make-up so I had none? Come on.

While I was in the hospital after having my kids he took the week off that I was in the hospital (??? not when I was home so he could help mind you...), but he's also antsy so he didn't sit still, he'd come for a brief visit then go to the gym, then get coffee and cigarettes, then run errands or do chores for his fam... it was always soemthing 'important', other than me/babies. What else was new?


Me-37
WH-41
M-12 yrs
D Day-3/2010
4 kiddoes
Some may say I have a short temper, I say I have a swift and assertive reaction to bull sh't. ;)

Posts: 327 | Registered: Oct 2010
neverbelieve
♀ Member
Member # 32711
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

toughgirl, what on earth did he want with all of your makeup? Seriously??? That's so messed up but funny. Sorry - I'm sure it wasn't funny when you went for the makeup bag, but come on!

You should really screw with him about the transplant. The next time you're outside with him in the sun, squint at his hair like you're seeing something. Make sure he catches you! When he asks you what you're looking at, say "Oh honey, your hair isn't the same shade! I can see where the 'new' hair is because it's a different shade!" Say it like you're so concerned and really care that his head look natural. Then, watch him run out and buy hair dye.

As long as we're where we are, we need to have fun. Try it. You'll see how much power you really do have in this mess and you'll feel better instantly.


When the infrastructure of a building is gone the collapse is inevitable.

Posts: 934 | Registered: Jul 2011
soverybetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 32948
Default  Posted: 5:56 PM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been reading the last few pages and want to say Thank you to Frank and Faith. You have helped me see more of my STBX's antics and he fits NPD perfectly.

I have been trying to figure out how he would just cut me out of his life so easily. I get it now, I was of no use to him any longer.

I wondered how he could ignore me for 5 months while I was ill and actually bitch at me for being sick, telling me it was all in my head.

I couldn't understand why he couldn't understand my pain due to his cheating.

I have been wondering why he starting doing drugs and drinking all the time.

I wondered why the neighbor were more important than me and why he "had" to hang out with them every weekend.

I knew that he always had lots of friends but didn't understand that he "needed" to have lots of friends who he can't live without.

I coudn't understand the rages he would go into when I said anything, or the silent treatment, or the way he was changing who I was.

I couldn't understand how he could lie to people about me and start cheating 2 years after we got married.

It all makes sense, he watched his father verbally, emotionally and physically abuse his mom and his dad was an alcoholic serial cheater. Looks like he learned from a pro.

This will help me detach from him because I will never matter to him. I was useful to him as long as I was well and good for his image an now I am not good for that so I can be disgarded. Thank you for all the insight you provide here and know that it helps those of struggling to understand our NPD spouses.


Me-53
DDay 10/16/2010 DDay2 5/22/2011
Divorced 8/23/2012
I will get stronger and better but no matter where he goes, there he is....

Posts: 1194 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Being an AWESOME ME!
bent44
♀ Member
Member # 31386
Default  Posted: 6:41 PM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Frank,

Thank you so much for your reply- it just confirms my thoughts. And after 6 years with an NPD, I find myself needing outside confirmation with almost every decision!

We do not live together, and I have the police on alert if I ever have to call. Also, our visitation is only in public places. He has been abusive in the past, so these things are mandatory.

A quick update. He has now managed to get the paperwork necessary to facillitate a visit today....funny how standing firm and ignoring them works so well. I hope I can remember this in the future.

I appreciate everyone's sharing here, and am so grateful for the strength I find in this community. I know we are all struggling along this path, and I wish each and every one of you some peace today.


"If you marry a chicken, don't expect an eagle."


I don't know if my chicken will ever become an eagle. But rest assured, I'm going to be a phoenix. Nevermind that I am still in the ashes stage of the process.


Posts: 626 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: California
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