Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Bersey (43222)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affair Part 19
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 5:48 AM, August 22nd (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok - Peace to all. I'll (Talk) to you when I return.


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 6:51 AM, August 22nd (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Allgood.. have a good trip!

I wish everyone some peace and happiness today! Make it so....

[This message edited by trynhard at 6:52 AM, August 22nd (Sunday)]


Posts: 2636 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, August 22nd (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

remember to breathe allgood, take aminute, learn the value of the pause..your mind with thank you...and breathe.....

i hope this trip brings you some of your power back, and may you find and hold the peace in your heart and mind...


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, August 22nd (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ats: believe it or not, this makes sense to me...so much of what she said didn't jive, didn't make sense...oddly enough...this does...i see so much confusion with both of you...and she hasn't a clue about how to talk to you...and she seems to spew lots of stuff and means only half of it...and i think she really believes you know the difference...she hasn't a clue how to say what she means and means what she says...and i think you take every word she says immediately without letting her digest what she has said and then verifying what she really means....

did you get all that or did i congfuse the living crap out of you... ..cause i think i confused myself by saying it, but i know what i am trying to say...so i am not confused on the what just the how i delivered it...

honest i hope you were able to regroup and find some semblance of peace within...even a just a little...

we had a nice day yesterday, had a few triggers, was able to focus away from them..one trigger though took me for a loop, and it took quite a bit to regroup from it...we were playing a really fun game called "whats yours like",,basically we all look at a word and the person guessing does not know the word at all, the person guessing needs to ask everyone playing.."whats yours like",,,to each person, guessing after each person answers the question...well on one of these where i was the guesser, when i asked pfm whats yours like, he answered "mine is tall"...well that was how he described #1...and that took me back...i had to close my eyes and having had a few drinks, i could hold back but knew i couldn't let loose...so i just closed my eyes for a minute and counted and calmly looked at him and said that was a really wrong thing to say...and moved on the next person really fast so as not to be detected as me having an issue...but i couldn't forget...it took a while for me to regroup from that one, and later on when we left it came back, not that it really ever left, it is such a sucky feeling..but i focused and kept control...and maintained control passing through the areas that trigger me...so i think i did good...i is a gettin there...

(((tribe)))

oh, fun....my dd refused therapy, so i am not so sure how that will play out in the end...right now she is just like your dd...at 17, she will be 18 in a couple of weeks, i felt i couldn't force it, she also really has to be open to it...there is not enough time to get through to her otherwise...pfm is mad at this...he thinks i should have forced it...and if the therapist didn't put it into her lap i probably would have at least til her 18th birthday...but the therapist told dd that she would never tell her parents that they had to bring her , which empowered her to make the decision...and made her firm in her stance...


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, August 22nd (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

...she hasn't a clue how to say what she means and means what she says...

...and i think you take every word she says immediately without letting her digest what she has said and then verifying what she really means....

You are right on both counts. Ad in to that I am never sure when she is arguing or screaming at me, or if it is the ghosts from her past she is attacking.


Her big issue last Wednesday in IC was him pushing her to tell me how she really feels, even if it will upset me. To be honest with me. She said she did not want to hurt me; he looked at her and said you had an A, he is already hurt. She said she is afraid I will not forgive her; he told her I may never do that, that she needs to forgive herself. More and more of the same according to FWW. I meet with him for IC on this Wednesday, so I can get a reality check.

For now I am on dual slow paths to D or R, like a limbo but still moving forward, just on two fronts. I have decided I will reassess the week after dday antiversary.

Our event last night was fun. Friends who work in the gay community were involved with a marketing/fund raising effort at a local gay bar. There was a drag show, raffle, and silent auctions. It has been a long time since we have seen these friends and that alone was nice. The drag show was a hoot. FWW and I won the raffle! It is a free weekend in a gay-oriented resort an hour or so north of us. That should be a hoot.

I feel so sorry for her, her whole life, who she thought she was, what she thought was right, has crashed down around her.


LTA BS 53
FWW 60
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Reconciled

Posts: 3967 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, August 22nd (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

having a really bad moment....went to sort laundry and what do i find, pfm's clothes are damp from rain, but his underwear aren't just damp, over the crotch they are wet..like he washed the area....

i don't need it in my face... ...i told him to now do his own laundry...i don't want to see it...i dont need to see it...so much for the man who will never be unfaithful again, so much for all his words...i knew he was still a liar, i knew he was not transparent, now i know he is still active...

i dont need it in my face..


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, August 22nd (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

iwam, I am so sorry for you. It is so wrong not just that he is doing this, but is so cavilier about not trying to hide it.

((iwam))


LTA BS 53
FWW 60
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Reconciled

Posts: 3967 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, August 22nd (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Miracle: are you sure it means what you think? Could he have been ......uh .....satisfyinghimself?

I'm so sorry Miracle. Please vent here.

In any event, pfm should be doing his own laundry!!!

Allgood: I hope you have a good trip.

Ats: I think moving forward and being prepared in any case is a good idea.
Keep in mind that your WW just says any feeling or thought that flits into her mind, she seems to be learning how to let out her feelings, but hasn't learned to think about what she wants to say and filter it, which is NOT the same as telling you what you want to hear.

Tryn: thank you for your support. I am trying to do things for myself without feeling guilty!

Keep moving ahead, as much as I can.

{{{tribe}}}


Posts: 1903 | Registered: Jan 2010
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 10:43 PM, August 22nd (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thanks ats...he claims the wetness is piss....and if its not piss, he was trying to hide it by washing it away, or spot cleaning them....

and they were in the mudroom and i usually do not do or sort laundry in the evening...so by morning they would have been dry..

it is what it is...even if its piss, it means i really do have to move on and get my own life...my marriage is dead and he is entitled to do as he pleases...i have told him that many a time...i just didn't want it in my face....that much would not be called for...

i got me back together...my meltdown was short...thanks to a pm from another si'er mostly....that helped a great deal...and once i got a good enough grip, i took my half a xanax, and the edge is gone....i feel strangely serene now...and am grateful for it...

how was your day ats?


eta: he was out all day, so i don't believe if it was that, it was that...another words if he is trying to hide come, i don't think he would masterbate outside...although this is closet man and anything is possible...

[This message edited by iwantamiracle at 10:54 PM, August 22nd (Sunday)]


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 10:51 PM, August 22nd (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry Miracle.

Whatever it is, you don't need this aggravation. I think you need a different plan.

We are here for you.

{{{{Miracle}}}


Posts: 1903 | Registered: Jan 2010
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, August 22nd (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hi iwam, that is the problem when trust is gone. Nothing is innocent, everything is suspect.

I am uncertain, everything is fine today. FWW and I have been talking since 10. Everything seems fine, how is that possible. I need a map.

We talked a lot about the first 15 years of our M. It is amazing the red flags for both of us. At about 4 years I had an EA that lasted about 6 weeks, it ended when I was not able to move to PA. Fww has known about this since soon after dday. At the time I did not think much of it, I now see it for what it was. We never had a "good" M.

So sorry you had to deal with fouled uw, but glad to read you are settling down. Xanax is a great thing.

FWW has gone to bed, I am trying to corral the demons our talk stirred up.


LTA BS 53
FWW 60
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Reconciled

Posts: 3967 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
njgal480
♀ Member
Member # 24938
Default  Posted: 2:58 AM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ats...
welcome to the emotional roller coaster ride...
I have been on it for over 3 yrs now!
You have really had your extreme ups and downs these past few weeks...but, your ride has begun and your wife better fasten her seatbelt... if she thinks this will be an 'easy' ride..well, she's mistaken... it will be very difficult and heartwrenching...
and yes...none of us had 'good' marriages! If we did then there would not have been any infidelity involved at all!There were issues (just like the majority of marriages have...very few are 'perfect'!)
and..no matter how your wife tries to spin it... a short term EA is NOTHING.... NOTHING compared to a series of LTAs (PA/EA you name it!).
Remember the old Bette Davis movie? All About Eve? The famous line....'fasten your seat belts..it's going to be a bumpy ride...'

honest...
my suggestion for you is to try to take babysteps on the road to recovery...
you have been terribly hurt and traumatized... you may not be ready to face all that you would need to deal with to begin the process of divorce etc...
so start small...
pick one thing that you would like to tackle first...for yourself... one goal...it could be getting back into shape by joining a gym, or getting a job, or going back to school, or starting a new hobby, but...maybe...choosing a goal and working toward meeting that goal will start you on the road to healing and recovery... baby steps.

miracle...
I am so sorry for what you are going through...
In my humble opinion the ONLY way that you can begin to even think about reconciling is if you know for certain that there is NC with the OW! Until that is established there is no way that you can begin any kind of recovery from the infidelity.

[This message edited by njgal480 at 11:50 AM, August 23rd (Monday)]


Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA
Reconciled.


Posts: 3139 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: NJ
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 5:43 AM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

iwam, good morning. I hope you slept better than I did. You are trying to do such a hard thing, to detatch while he is still there in front of you. Intentionally or not, he continues to push your buttons.

((iwam))


LTA BS 53
FWW 60
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Reconciled

Posts: 3967 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 6:37 AM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

iwantamiracle... Can I share my thoughts with you? You say that and you know that..
i really do have to move on and get my own life
One of the hardest things about moving forward is somehow removing the fear… Change in our lives is so terrifying and never easy. Surrender and let it in and you have to be prepared and willing to redefine yourself. Today, you have become an expert in knowing what the ideal relationship is, the ideal partner. Get moving to replace some of your negative thoughts (ie.. dirty drawers) they create negative feelings. Replace these with clear, positive reasons to get going. A solution is to take small steps toward being independent! Identify your fears and then make a plan with some smaller steps you can take to gradually lessen your discomfort.

Let me share some things I know… Kids have issues with step-parenting and remarriage… May fear long-term relationships with others, and show adjustment difficulties such as running away, truancy, and delinquency…

You are so smart today concerning relationships.. I believe you can overcome these issues…

Ditto Honest!

[This message edited by trynhard at 6:38 AM, August 23rd (Monday)]


Posts: 2636 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 6:38 AM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

good morning tribe,

njgal, i am not trying to reconcile...i am already resigned that my marriage is over....

he has not been honest, ever...he still lies...whether or not he broke nc, i haven't a clue, whether or not he did have contact with #1, #2, #3, #4, or whatever #....again i have no clue....and at this point it really shouldn't matter...i DID TELL HIM I WAS DONE....i just didn't need it in my face....

i havent smelled the underwear, because the point is still there...i do the laundry, he knows he had a problem, he SHOULD have come to me and told me...but then again i acted out of character again and sorted laundry at nite instead of the morn....something i only do sometimes.....but i don't even know if he knows when i regularly sort, and again it doesn't matter...he should have mentioned it to me....

i have told him that he is free to see whomever, whenever just be discreet...
and yes ats, it is really hard to detach with him still in the house...

honest: the only reason he was not doing his own laundry is that it would be hugely suspicious to my kids if he were to do that...hopefully now when he does do his own he will be discreet as i told him to be with his sex life...

xanax worked wonders for me, i had exchanged some pm's with a couple of friends who basically talked me down, gave me the proverbial slap back to reason along with a reality check.....the reality is the easy part, its the living with it that is the hard part...but i am learning...

so thankyou tribe once again for being there...


o.k. back to you....

ats: i agree with njgal, its going to be a bumpy ride...you both have got lots of learning to do in the communication dept...and ats, i think you need to take some time everytime your wife talks out of her ass, or the blue...you cannot possibly know when she is serious or just talking.....she seems to do alot of just talking mixed in with the serious stuff....so remember to take time out and breathe to find out if she is just blowing air

njgal;;hows the vacation going

honest: no date on him coming home yet????....have you started to journal the things that make you angry


oh one more thing...a favor...please send a bit of mojo for dd, she is taking a road test this a.m....her 2nd....thanks


(((tribe)))


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 7:26 AM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi
Haven't posted on this thread before but need a little help. Trying to deal with my H's 3 affairs over 16 yrs in a 28 yr marriage.
Found out about all 3 at once May this year. Probably more???
1st one 16 yrs ago - lasted a few months then continued to be EA until present. She got married 12 yrs ago!! He was calling her 2/3 times a week and talking for an hour or more until I found out (VAR) 3 months ago.
Then he started EA 8 yrs ago which became PA 5 yrs ago (SHE (No2)told me). Then when she got guilty and broke it off he started PA with another wh..re 15 months plus ago.
At present he is remorseful and attentive but I'm finding it all so hard to deal with. I had NO SUSPICIONS at all!
Why am I in this nightmare?? Is he a serial? Will it happen again? I feel so lost.


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 7:40 AM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i have told him that he is free to see whomever, whenever just be discreet...
and yes ats, it is really hard to detach with him still in the house...

Miracle, is this really ok with you?? I cannot imagine myself being able to deal with this. I have told my H many times over the last 4 1/2 years that if that is what he wants, to f--- other women, then go, I will not stand in your way, but I know I would never be able to live under the same roof with him if that was his choice. He'd have to go. Like you said to ATS, it would be too hard to detach while still living together.
What has your IC suggested re: this arrangement? What about your needs?? This is what concerns me most. You are making a tremendous sacrifice here and I'm worried about the effects of this arrangement on you long-term. ((((((((Miracle))))))))
ATS - I think Miracle's post to you was dead-on. I can't imagine how confused you must be this morning. It sounds like your night out was a lot of fun. Hopefully this is just part of the rollercoaster ride we are all on and just one severe drop that you now find yourself on the uphill side of. I think the wisest thing for you and all of us to do is just move slowly and really take your time to think about what is the best thing for you to do. It is still too early to make final decisions. I think it is a great idea to go ahead with the MC'ing session as long as your wife is still willing. BTW, when is she supposed to leave for her parents' celebration? Lean on us during that time and your upcoming antiversary.
(((ATS)))
Allgood - I hope your trip is going well.
NJG - Aren't you on vacation?? I'm so surprised to see you here. I hope you are enjoying yourself and your time with your H but I understand how hard it is to pull yourself away from this board - it's our own personal safety net and no matter where I am or how long I'm away, I feel the need to come back and stay connected. Guess you're feeling that too!
Honest - Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you especially with your H's upcoming return. I can't imagine how many mixed emotions you are experiencing but I hope you will find the support and love you need here to help you through this difficult time. (((Honest)))


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 7:41 AM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

welcome to our little corner of si laura...

i wish i could answer all your questions, it is maddening isn't it, if only someone could tell us everything we need to know...unfortunately the one person who needs to tell us everything is our ws...and they are liars, so whatever they tell us needs to be taken with a grain of salt....

i am so sorry that you are here, a lta is truly overwhelming to deal with, and more then 1 lta is incomprehensible especially when they are simultaneously....

has nc been established, has he given you passwords to everything he has, has he given you his phone with whatever is left on it for you to see....has he gotten rid of everything op's?..he is remorseful or regretful? is he in ic, are you in ic, and finally are you both in mc?

so much to take in....take it one step at a time...whether that step be a minute at a time or a day at a time...you move at your own pace....establish your new boundaries...breathe in between...and know that none of this has anything to do with you....

and from what you have posted, your husband it appears came clean right away all at once with no trickle truth...that is awesome ( i know that sound really wrong, but it really is a good thing).....

one step at a time....post here as often as you need, ask, if we can answer , we will...and we always have hugs available...

((((laura))))


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ast.. my thoughts… Is it coincidence we walk the same paths?
We never had a "good" M.

You sure about that? I think you need to really think about this...
I think you might have been good marriage partners to each other. And yes, that is mature true love. Did she ever make a nice meal for you and the kids? This was a gift of love to you all... Did you ever take them out on a Saturday afternoon for a fun time on the boat? Yes, this is a gift of love...
You rub her back when she was sore? Yes a gift of love
You there to support when she was down... of course you were…
And of course, It would be my bet that all these years your W physically loved you too.. My W had the ability to passionately make love to me during her dual life. She was truly giving me love.. she had feelings for me. During all the years of my Marriage, we loved each other and it was far more than her loving the OM. I’m sure it was no different for you given her need to keep her relationships a secret.

ast... your W mis-understood attract and lust for love.. those are "feelings" that lead to unhealthy love when you are married! Of course there were some other “love” things she did for those OM too.. But see, marriage is a commitment. Years ago, you caught yourself before it got physical and you have the strength to overcome those feelings.. you did not allow yourself to get physical. Some people can, some people cannot... I also know some people can change after knowing hurt… You are showing hurt to your W… You may not see it because you are hurt, but it is likely eating away at your W inside herself. So you blew up last week… It showed your hurt.. it might have pushed you to a point of no fear too.. you had enough courage to set-up a new checking… At 2 years out, I have concluded overcoming fear is very critical in any R. You must have the courage to accept change… have strength, be ready, not scared, unafraid and are prepared to walk, file a DIVORCE, and leave… and you are no longer accept a bad marriage.. You are going to have the courage to fight hard for a new life.. you are only going to accept nothing but an Awaking marriage… this is happiness.

If you are going to give R another try... (at a year past dday, you should be ready to work on yourselves… your marriage) with the proper understanding and change, you both can make it...

This time, in your R you are going to make every effort to do the following….

First, you are going to make a decision to forgive. What does that mean?
1) Make the choice to forgive
2) Make the deliberate and irrevocable choice not to tell anyone what they did.
3) Be pleasant to them should you be around them
4) If conversation ensues, say that which would set them free from guilt
5) Let them feel good about themselves
6) Protect them from their greatest fears
7) Keep it up today, tomorrow, this year and next
8) Pray for them

I’m sharing my forgiveness story… When I first made the decision to do that.. I did the following. I decided to no longer bring up any discussion of my W failings.. her A’s. I told my W I decided to forgive her. I told her that from this day forward, I would never bring the A’s up again to here.. and if I do, it is on me… it is my mistake. I will be the one at fault for throwing it at her face. Did I ever throw it at her again? Yes… so I apologized, and tried again.. and again… Today, it has been months since we discussed… It was all so ugly and nothing but ugly.. why try and remember it all? What new do I need? More ugliness? At the beginning, It is not easy. But It really gets easy after a while… I came to SI discuss it… SI has truly helped me…

And now you both need to focus on these are Desire Builders….
- Affirmation
- Positive attitude
- “Present and Future” Focused
- Communication (HOW can you resolve conflict in a positive way, a safe way? Retrouvaille method)
- Cooperative attitude
- Forgiveness
- Affection
- Positive “self Talk”
- Change
- Reliability
- Romance
- Prayer

Share them with your W…

These are Desire destroyers
- Criticism
- Withdrawal
- Negative attitude
- Continuing Negative behaviors
- No communication
- No reliance on God or lack of spirituality
- Holding a grudge’
- Name calling
- Negative “self talk”
- Disrespect
- “Must win” Attitude
- Living the past


See, the advantage I have is knowing how to communicate safely to my W. If my W withdrawals.. I know how to write her a Dialogue question…and she knows now I will follow a procedure.. a method that I will listen carefully, understand what she is going through… and I promised to change and make an effort to make decisions and do things to make her “feel” differently.. if it is me…. And same for me…

Soon, I will share how dialogue works because so many here cannot even asked their spouses to make an effort to change… It’s work and an old technique.

Oh well peace out today!


Posts: 2636 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 7:56 AM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Laura28... Sorry you are in our group. It sounds like exactly the same as my history.

Why am I in this nightmare?? Is he a serial? Will it happen again? I feel so lost.
It takes a long time to get over this… You are in this because your H failed you. Only time will know if he is a serial. Yes, it might happen again… but know that after someone has faced the destruction, evilness of what they did… they can change. Of course you feel lost… I cried everyday for the first 90 days.. I was lost, deviated, it hurts like death… it is death. You can recover and be happy… it takes time and much effort. You will never be the same person, you will be a better person into the future.. Life from now on will be different and you are going to have to do some work… Get ready for it now… What are you doing to take care of yourself?

I think the first step for you is to make sure you have some boundaries and enforce them with all your might and power.

Let me share my #1 I have today...
- I will NOT be married to a W that needs a personal relationship with another M.

forgiveness is a long process...

[This message edited by trynhard at 8:02 AM, August 23rd (Monday)]


Posts: 2636 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.