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User Topic: Long Term Affair Part 19
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 6:04 PM, August 27th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Tribe, it is raining cats and dogs here tonight, I stepped in a poodle (sorry for that).

DS14 has inherited the group of friends DS18 hung with in HS, so we have 7 kids in the house tonight. DS is making buffalo chicken pizza (the group's favorite) and they will watch a movie. FWW was not feeling well when she got home and is laying down, she did say she wants to talk later this evening

I am touched by the amount and level of support I receive from all of you in LTA. I want to say I am not worthy, but I know that iwam will lecture me and honest will have to type up a big hug series , so I will just say thank you, and send an other donation into SI.

Laura, I have wanted to R since a few weeks after dday. I have loved my wife from the beginning. I am wearing out. I know that she is trying, but if someone climbs 200' up out of a 300' hole, they are still in the hole. I think part of the problem is that she never really loved me or anyone. Soon after our M the resentment began. For her, there are no, or few, happy memories to yearn for, just the hope for a better future. I have never had the open transparency and remorse from FWW that I need to feel it is finished. I feel as though she gives me enough to keep me engaged. I think this is because it is embarassing and painful for her to admit who she was and what she did. We do not have a relationship where she can feel safe being honest.

I am going to go check on the kids and grab a piece of whatever is cooking. old_dipstick, you might like this pizza with buffalo chicken, ranch sauce, blue cheese, mozzerella cheese, and bacon. I can eat about 1/3 slice or my gallbladder will explode.

[This message edited by atsenaotie at 6:06 PM, August 27th (Friday)]


LTA BS 53
FWW 60
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Reconciled

Posts: 3964 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 6:26 PM, August 27th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ats:

. I want to say I am not worthy, but I know that iwam will lecture me

yup....pray tell why are you even talking this way...i really think you like the sound of my typing voice.. ...it can be really really sexy when the eye are blinking...

seriously stop with the self doubt of your worth...you should know better by now...you are worth just as much as everyone else here, myself included...we are an awesome bunch if i do say so myself and i do say so!!!

laura do not apologize for thinking out loud, that is usually where my best thoughts come from, i have learned to let it flow, that kind of why my posts can go on and on and on and on...i get the ramblins... ...

and the pain is not really what you need to hold back, i personally think the ws's need to see the pain, its the anger that is counterproductive....which is a conondrum because we have every right to be angry and beyond..but anger only serves as a release and not as a healing agent...and the release to the ws is more damaging then the release is to the bs...

do not get me wrong here, there are definitely times when the anger is not only necessary but warranted and needs to be expressed to the ws...no free rides...uh uh...it really depends on your objective of conversation and your level of healing and where you are in your journey....it all comes very much into play...

lost soul i am glad tryn had some words to give you such an uplift as well as a plan of action that would work for you...keep us posted...


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 10:40 PM, August 27th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I now know I have to keep a notebook with me to take notes so I can address everyone!!

Thank you all for your support with my false alarm. WS is staying for one month, God help me. I really don't want to deal with him.

Lately, I have been more unfocused than usual, so bear with me.

NJgal: I hope that you can enjoy the rest of your vacation as much as possible.

This advice is for NJgal, Nofun and anyone else who is going on vacation with WS for a while: Take a break!!!

Yes, take a break from the worry, the triggers, etc as much as possible. PRETEND that everything is ok and just enjoy yourself and WS as much as possible.

I don't think there is anything wrong with forgetting the problems for a week and just enjoy the moment. If there are triggers, take a deep breath and say to yourself that you will deal with them when you go home. They don't matter RIGHT NOW. Your emotions do need a rest. You need a rest from all the turmoil.

Having a good time with each other and "pretending" all is right with the world will also be a "marriage builder" in a sense. It can show you and WS how good it CAN be and this is what you are working for.

Ats: I have been thinking about your sitch with BIL.

I hope you can follow my line of thought on this. Your WW and SIL and in-laws are getting together for a celebration for a 60th wedding anniversary.

What will happen if you should want to "out" BIL at this time? One big chaotic mess, where they will blame you and think you are so bad for ruining thier celebration!!!!!!

Yes, I believe these selfish people will think this is so.

Work with WW and talk to her about what is going to happen with this trip. Either she doesn't go, or you go with her, is my opinion.

If so much time has elapsed with BIL, that can wait a little while longer, and you won't be pressured about how you will handle it. Give yourself more time to think about what you will do AFTER the anniversary.

Oh and BTW, Ats, I'll give you {{{{{ATS}}}}} anytime you need it!

Dip and Miracle: Thank you so much for all your kind advice. I don't want the two of you disagreeing about this!!!

Miracle: The problem is I have been conditioned and trained all my life to accept and act a certain way with BPD Mom.

I have tried many ways to deal with her. I am an only child and Mom doesn't have any living siblings and was divorced from my sober alcoholic father when I was 13.

I'm sorry, Miracle, but Dip is right. Mom will "act normal" for a while, which might let my defenses down. She is a master at logic, very intelligent and should have been a lawyer or a detective. She will make me feel I am wrong with logic, manipulation, emotion etc.

Don't call her? Don't answer the phone? Back in the day when there were no answering machines, she'd call 5-6 x a day and would have the operator break in saying there was an emergency call if I was on the line. If the phone was off the hook, she'd get the operator to ring through anyway. If that failed, she'd show up at my door, call my neighbors (she still does this), work, etc. Tell other family members and friends how bad I am for not calling her, etc.

I could go on and on.

Unfortunately, I think because of BPD mom and my inability to deal with her, was a MAJOR factor in the failure of my first marriage, and a significant driving force why I married current WH because we were moving 45 minutes away from her.

Enough of mom. She can't help it, I know, but like with our WS's , even though we may understand something intellectually, it's hard to internalize it emotionally and let our feelings start to rule the day.

I came across a journal I wrote when I was dating WH and right before we were married.

WH cheated on me while we were dating. The reason was he wasn't sure if we should marry. I wasn't sure either, not because I didn't love WH, but I had 2 kids and I didn't know if I wanted to start over because WH wanted kids. WH was unsure because he didn't know if he wanted "instant family".

He told me he cheated and I was going to break it off with him. Then he did a 180, was so sorry blah blah blah, begged me to marry him, etc.

Rereading my journal...I could have written it today about I betrayed I felt, how hurt I was etc. But, I kept writing how much I loved him. How deep I felt our relationship was. How close I thought we were, etc.

In my journal I was saying that it was over because of his cheating.

What happened? I loved him so much, that I chose to believe all his promises instead of choosing to listen to myself. I can't go back and as DS 34 says over and over to me that if I didn't marry WH, I wouldn't have DS 12 & 15.

This time around is different, because we were married for 18 years, and have kids together. I truly feel that if there is an opportunity, and the WS is remorseful and is trying, it is worth both parties to give it their all to salvage the marriage.

If it doesn't work, then both people can walk away with the knowledge that both tried, and the ability to respect one another and still be kind if they D.

I don't have that choice. WH is acting the same way I described him in my journal almost 20 years ago. Ironically, I sounded wiser then. I think I was. I was stronger then.

WH has all but thrown me under the bus. I think he wants me to end it, but for ulterior motives on his part.

Thank you all for your support. Unfortunately, I'll be needing it. WH comes home Mon, and I don't want him here.


{{{Tribe}}}}


Posts: 1900 | Registered: Jan 2010
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 10:58 PM, August 27th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hey honest, i was starting to worry about you...i am glad you posted...

love your word to those going away....

the issue of your mom, i will back away from the topic for now anyways... ..i still believe you can take your power period....she seems to have always had it from you...

but one thing at a time honest one thing at a time...and i would say with your ws your one this is on the huge size...

hey dip did you hear it, honest said "you were right"...now dont go gettin a swelled head over this now...twice in the same week and all that ..



i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 11:23 PM, August 27th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

...and I would say with your ws your one this is on the huge size....

OK, maybe I'm thick, but please translate this Miracle!


Posts: 1900 | Registered: Jan 2010
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 12:07 AM, August 28th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all
H just went to work. I manaaged to retrieve GPS while he was in shower and just checked it - all seems ok to me. Battery ran out last 2 days but previous week and half Ok so I guess I'll just assume.

We had a good morning but something really funny happened I'd like to share with you.

It is Father's day here next Sunday 5th Sept. Couple of weeks ago he came home from work with a magazine about travelling around Australia. He really liked it and I said I'd get him a subscription. When I went online to order there was an ad saying subscribe now and get a free gift for Father's Day. A nice pocket knife.

I thought great so sent off subscription.

Well knife and first issue arrived couple of days ago. He said he really liked knife and showed it to me. This morning he brought knife out while we were having breakfast and said "You aren't trying to send me a message are you?" I was puzzled and said what do you mean? He said "Look at the back of the box"!.

I swear this was not written anywhere on the subscription order form.

He said "With what I've been doing - I thought maybe there was a message here somewhere."
I had a look at the back of the box and it had the TYPE of knife written on it. It is called a "Castration Clip". I nearly cried with laughter. We both had a really good laugh and I think that helped make for a good morning.

Life sure is strange sometimes!

Anyway, I'm feeling Ok at present - hope all of you are too.


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 5:08 AM, August 28th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all
Was talking to my D24 tonight and I told her about a small problem H and I had tonight. He rang late this afternoon to say hello and said that 0W3 was working but she was on day shift and would finish soon.

Anyway he said he'd ring me during his dinner break (5pm) and then didn't. My intuition said "alarm" and I became suspicious - he used to have dinner with her and that's how they got started.

About an hour after I still hadn't heard from him. So I drove to his work and saw her car still there more than 2 hours after the day shift ended.

I got very upset but decided to not say or do anything. Anyway he eventually rang and said he'd been run off his feet, didn't have dinner until late and then been called to an emergency. I was a bit quiet on the phone and when he asked what was wrong told him I thought he had lied about her being there. I didn't sya I knew she was there just that I had a "feeling". He said he realised after he spoke to me that she must be on evening shift as he saw her later but that he hadn't lied - just made a mistake.

Anyway - we finished on a reasonable note - I think I believe him cause he told me about being so busy and eating late before I said anything about her being on evening shift.

Then D24 said something I hadn't known about. Apparently just after confrontation she was talking to him and told him that if he wanted to leave me he should go now and only stay if he really intended to be faithful because if he ever cheated on me again she would cut him off completely and so would her brother.

This amazed me. But then I got worried again about the possibility he is only staying because of the kids and other stuff - not me. I don't know if I want him if that's the case.

God I wish he'd be honest with me. I'm just not sure I know him anymore after all the years of lying and screwing around.


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
nofun
♀ Member
Member # 24546
Default  Posted: 6:38 AM, August 28th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

tryn, miracle, honest, m3, ats, laura, dip...you have helped more than IC or MC...and I'm serious.

I'm so glad I've found you all!!! Tryn - you are correct, if I ask for something during sex, I can almost gaurantee that I will get it...so Retrou it is..

Last night H told me he loved me and he repeated it over and over and said he means it and he wanted me to know and feel it in my heart. I think I've heard "I Love You" 6 times in the 34 years I've been married. H just doesn't express his feelings, EVER...so this is huge for him. (I remember asking OW if he told her he loved her and she said NO) I think if she said yes, I would have walked away from the M at that moment in time. So we talked a bit and I asked him if he thinks about the A, he said yes, everyday, and he wishes he had never done what he did. He said he will never hurt me again, EVER. He wants to start over and put it in the past, he wants me to believe that he loves me.

I told him that sex was the most difficult thing for me right now because I can't get the mind movies out of my head. I just can't feel comfortable being that close and I miss that feeling of being connected, and close. I told him I was sick of crying and feeling sad for our M. He said, "we'll get through this." That was the extent of the conversation. At least it was something.

Honest - I like your advice about pretending "everthing is ok". I'm going to do that. Maybe then, the conversations will be "light" as miracle suggested.

Laura - I give you credit because I don't think I could handle H being anywhere near OW...thank goodness she lives 70 miles from us. It's bad enough I have to drive by the street where her apartment building is when I go visit my mother. I also use the GPS on occasion, I still check the cell phone bills, his computer, go through his wallet, his bureau draws, his bag he takes to work, his truck...I don't do it as often now and I look forward to the day I don't do it at all. If that day will ever come. But right now, it's what I need to do to feel safe.

Well, we are off today to go see the "Blue Angels" they are flying near my home this weekend.

Did I tell everyone lately that LTA's suck? Peace out!!


BS (me) 56
WH 61
M 36 yrs
OW - 55 - Howdy Doody Look Alike
3 Awesome Adult C
DD 6/7/09
LTA 12 years.
Confused: D or R???

Posts: 987 | Registered: Jun 2009
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 7:05 AM, August 28th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey nofun
I found the answer to the sex thing!!! What I do is totally focus my mind on the feel of whatever he's doing and it works! I don't think about him or her (wouldn't give the wh...re the satisfaction!!!)

I told him this is what I'm doing. I had to as he couldn't understand why I was so much more into sex after I found out (we started again about a month after I found out - I instigated it telling him I was sick of having a sh.t sex life while he and his wh..res were having fun.)

Anyway this is the only way I can enjoy it. And its been brilliant. I think he's a bit offended by my attitude but I guess I'm so angry that sex while he was with OW3 was rare and very ordinary and I think well its his problem. Hopefully over time as I retake my territory it will become more intimate. I can feel this happeing a little bit already.

Sounds cold I know but unless I go "into myself" when we do it I know the mind movies will trash it!!


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 7:13 AM, August 28th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nofun

Last night H told me he loved me and he repeated it over and over and said he means it and he wanted me to know and feel it in my heart. I think I've heard "I Love You" 6 times in the 34 years I've been married. H just doesn't express his feelings, EVER...so this is huge for him.

I'm so happy for you. This must really help you feel better. My H says he loves me quite often now - I also hadn't heard it for years except unfortunately when I heard him say it repeatedly to OW3 on phone (VAR). Can't begin to tell you how much that hurt. As well he called her "sweetie", "darling", "beautiful", "honey" - none of these are now left for me!!! The one he used most often with her was "girl" - He's NEVER called me that but he's called me "girl" a few times with me since Dday and I HATE IT!!!!!

I've asked him not to but he keeps doing it - I guess habit is ingrained. Today he used "girl" and "beautiful" when saying goodbye before going to work. I told him again but am starting to lose patience. He apologises every time but it still triggers.


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 7:14 AM, August 28th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

honesttoafault.. Please, I want you to read this book when you decide to start dating again... The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do" Now go buy it and start gett'n ready... and smile!

Iwant.. what I love about you... you are so not afraid to disagree!

Laura28... so you know, I checked on my W for a long time... she once said she was not going to live with me always living under a microscope.. I said Ok and still checked. She's still kinda living under it. I still get thoughts about checking but I don't. I choose not to... I just figure this.. If she wants to cheat.. I want her to do it... Then I can go ahead and do my own thing too. So, I made a decision to trust. You'll get there in time. It took me at least a year. When he catches on to you.. just say, having those made me feel safe, it gave me comfort, all those feelings it gives you.. and that's it.

This to the LTA team

tryn, miracle, honest, m3, ats, laura, dip...you have helped more than IC or MC...and I'm serious.
I know this as fact. IC and MC is a paid job. They hear this drama day and day out. It is only for an hour. Some have never faced toughness in thier lives.. We here at the LTA threat I know for fact. We all genuinely and deeply care about everyone that comes here.

Nofun... sex is very meaningful to me... It sound like it is for you H too... The more you "feel" him.. tell him during... show him.. look at him, the greater he feels.. the better he feels about himself. It is your way of giving him affirmation. When purposely withheld, that is not love. Just IMO... thanks for the comments... Too.

he wishes he had never done what he did
I honestly believe deep in everyone who cheats has this feeling...

Peace to all today!


Posts: 2636 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 7:17 AM, August 28th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nofun

I also use the GPS on occasion, I still check the cell phone bills, his computer, go through his wallet, his bureau draws, his bag he takes to work, his truck...I don't do it as often now and I look forward to the day I don't do it at all. If that day will ever come. But right now, it's what I need to do to feel safe.

FEEL SAFE

That's exactly what these things do for me. Without them I don't think I could stay with him.

I couldn't live with the fear!!!


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 7:23 AM, August 28th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tryn

When he catches on to you.. just say, having those made me feel safe, it gave me comfort, all those feelings it gives you.. and that's it.

Thanks for that. I often wonder what I will say as it's bound to happen sooner or later.


he wishes he had never done what he did

I honestly believe deep in everyone who cheats has this feeling...

Peace to all today!

I so hope you are right. Peace to you too.


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 7:27 AM, August 28th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

miracle. Yes I did notice what Honest said. You are correct, twice in the same week. Now since you disagreed with me does that cancel out one of the two? I agree with honest. Could you please translate your statement. Are you saying size does matter?

Hugs to the tribe.


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 7:30 AM, August 28th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tryn

sex is very meaningful to me...

It is for me too. When H was active in affairs he treated me like sh..t! So often he'd want sex and then leading up to it he was really nasty. I even began to think that maybe he got off on upsetting me!!!.

Anyway, because of this treatment I found myself enjoying it less and less. It became very mechanical, brief and unsatisfying. I felt he didn't love me and so I couldn't connect with him. He blamed me because I "Couldn't get interested". I tried to tell him that it was because of the way he treated me but he just didn't hear me.

Now I know it was because he was getting it elsewhere. I think this is where much of my anger is coming from. I feel so cheated that we couldn't have intimacy because (I think) his guilt led him to be nasty to me. I have told him all of this. Don't know if he really gets it or not.


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 7:36 AM, August 28th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

honest

Having a good time with each other and "pretending" all is right with the world will also be a "marriage builder" in a sense. It can show you and WS how good it CAN be and this is what you are working for.

Tomorrow H and I are spending the day together at a beach about 80kms away. Going to beach, then lunch then movies and/or shopping, then dinner, then home.

I plan to take your advice and "pretend" all day if necessary. I really want to have a nice day. If I trigger I will store it away for later.


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 7:40 AM, August 28th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

fun: i am so happy that he actually opened up some...i know how much that means to you...

and i love how you are taking and using what is good for you in your life..

...i think that is what si is all about...on this forum i thinks its easier because we are a small group who for the most part know each other well enough to gage our advice to one another...its helpful i think to not have to go through all the dynamics all the time for those who don't know, to keep reliving the painful...i also thinks its helpful while we don't always agree on a course of action, there is no condescension or flaming, all is given with love and understanding to each other...i love the lta forum because of all of you, hate the lta's though...so i say thank you too, this place helps me feel safe... (happy tears)

honest:

but one thing at a time honest one thing at a time...and i would say with your ws your one this is on the huge size...

should have said

"but one thing at a time honest, ...so your one thing is huge in size and its your ws..."

does that make any more sense, or am i the only one who can "see" it... and sadly it wouldn't be the first time..


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 7:40 AM, August 28th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

triple hit....too bad i don't get any points

[This message edited by iwantamiracle at 7:41 AM, August 28th (Saturday)]


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 7:40 AM, August 28th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ditto above!!

bbl to finish the rest..especially since i got up and walked away while typing and after triple posting prematurely i now see that there were more posts from you guys and now have more to say...

don't i always?!?!?!?

[This message edited by iwantamiracle at 7:44 AM, August 28th (Saturday)]


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 7:59 AM, August 28th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have to go now. It's 11pm and I want to try to get some sleep before big day out tomorrow.

I'd also like to thank you all. I am so glad I found this little corner of SI with people who really know what my situation is like.

Thank you all


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

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