SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Received this as part of an email associated with a daily devotional I get via email (I've edited out the direct religious content to avoid any violation of SI terms and conditions).

“How close can I get to the fire and not get burned?”

"Nobody ever plans to be a failure. It just comes on gradually. Nobody says, “I’m going to be a drug addict” or “I want to break up my marriage” or “I think I’ll destroy my health.” But it starts with one little thing and builds and builds until the point that one day we wake up and say, 'What happened?'"

Sound familiar? Well then reflect on these statements:

Strong people keep their commitments. They guard their commitments. They don't play games with their commitments.

Consider this: Your life is only as strong as your weakest commitment.

So with that in mind, the author poses these questions:

What are you committed to? [snip] That's where your strength comes from.

So how about it? What are we committed to?

I am committed to the truth.

I am committed to my husband.

I am committed to my family.

I am committed to improving my self-worth.

HP

healing

Devotion

Beauty

Creativity

Justice

That's it.

~L.

I'm committed to being the best I can be. I'm committed to being as honest and truthful as I can. Guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm committed to being the person I want to be.

Nice answer uncertainone

hprynne - good answers on all points. Here's the thing I've discovered through a lot of self reflection on your points. I think many people say that they are committed to their spouse or their kids. But their actions sometimes say the opposite.

For example, I had scheduled a business trip for mid-September to shadow one of the people on my team. After getting the kids school schedules, Open House dates were posted and one of them fell on one of the days I planned to be on the road.

The old me would likely have chosen to continue with the business trip. I would have justified to myself that it was for work, and part of my commitment to my family is keeping us in good financial shape. I also would have justified that it was "only an open house", that we've been to dozens of them before, and that only one parent really needed to attend them.

But this action would have spoken volumes about where my commitment was. First, the trip can be rescheduled. This is not a client event or some meeting with the CEO. I can shadow my team members any time. Second, leaving all the "parental participation" to Wells shows the kids that Daddy's work is more important than they are.

So the "new me" (which is really the "true me" I had hidden from for so long) is rescheduling the business trip so I can be at the open house.

Does this mean I make every event? No. There are certainly times when a non-negotiable work event surfaces and in order to maintain my job I need to be there. But in prior years I would have chosen the negotiable work travel over being there for my family.

The only way I can say I an committed to my BW and our kids is when I truly place them ahead of other areas, including work.

I'm not saying this is your situation. But I am sharing that this is an area that many of us show actions that differ from our words.

LC,

You're right -- it does take a change of thinking to put family first.

Glad to see an example of what right looks like :)

HP

Number one, first and foremost: telling the truth. It is so damn easy to lie...to take the easy way out...to cover my ass at the first whiff of trouble or discomfort. I am committed to honesty and trustworthiness.

Number two: my personal healing and recovery.