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The Book Club Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: A book addressing triggers
Very, very tired
♀ Member
Member # 26244
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, October 6th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My latest read is Joan Didion's "The Year of Magical Thinking."

In the book, Didion addresses the trauma she faced after the coma of her daughter and the sudden death of her husband.

While the book has nothing to do with infidelity, I was touched by how Didion faced (or avoided) triggers and how she tried to be in control and "normal" when in hindsight she was anything but.

Those who have dealt with an S or D may find Didion's "Magical Thinking" about her H coming back (she couldn't give away all of his shoes) powerful. (I never moved my H's slippers or bathrobe during our S.)

An A isn't death, but I think there are some issues in this book that many A "survivors" can relate to.

[This message edited by Very, very tired at 1:21 PM, October 6th (Wednesday)]


BW (in the 40 yr old range)
2 kids
Happily married 20 years--or so I thought.
Divorced and moving on



Posts: 1919 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Right where I am supposed to be
HIDINGFROMCRAZY
♀ Member
Member # 27592
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, October 6th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thanks for this recommendation. I have had this book on my radar for awhile, but never actually got to it. I think I'll make the effort now.

I also think an affair has a lot in common with death. I feel like a part of me died, and will not be coming back.


Me: BS 58
Him: FWH - 60
Dday #1 - around Feb, 2007
Dday #2 - around Christmas, 2009
3 children - 30,26,23

I cannot prevent the Birds of Sorrow from passing over my head, but I can keep them from building a nest in my hair.


Posts: 470 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: GA
Very, very tired
♀ Member
Member # 26244
Default  Posted: 9:47 PM, October 6th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with the affair and death relationship. I went through a tragic family death (many, many years before the A's) and I find myself relating back to a lot of those feelings.

Trauma is trauma. Grief is grief.

Hearing others' stories helps. That's why I posted about the book. I think it would help a lot of people.


BW (in the 40 yr old range)
2 kids
Happily married 20 years--or so I thought.
Divorced and moving on



Posts: 1919 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Right where I am supposed to be
Topic Posts: 3

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