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User Topic: Betrayed Men-Part 6 (Men only)
jjct
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Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, November 25th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey Jimi, can we stop scratching our balls pretty soon?

Posts: 6012 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jjct
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Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, November 25th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm gettin kinda sore here...

This keeps up, I'll have to move to my ass. Then there'll be hell to pay!


Posts: 6012 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
HurtingandLost
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Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 11:23 PM, November 25th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

jjct -

The art is to alternate scratching from the left to the right, otherwise you'll end up tearing your nutts up


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
HerkDude
New Member
Member # 30219
Default  Posted: 12:16 AM, November 26th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Been lurking here for a while. Air Force officer, nothing original to my story. Deployed 6 times and then took a staff job. Wife got sick of my continuous presence and said I didn't pay enough attention. First OM was a good friend of mine who I flew with. Second was a bouncer at a bar. Seems to have a lot of remorse since I found out about a year ago. I have since found some emails about potentially more OMs and get the standard "I don't remember". I have now begun deploying again, and I just hope that she is staying faithful, but who knows? It seems it has been a while and she can't seem to understand why I am still doubtful, but being thousands of miles away has me very concerned. Like many of you, I played way above my pay grade as far as looks are concerned. I'm still so confused after all this time and she just wants to forget it happened. It just sucks being away some much (via deployments and other various TDYs) and I can't verify sh*t. Sorry to threadjack.


BH (34)
WW (34)
M (11 yrs)
3 DDs (14, 10, 8)
DD: 14 Feb 2009

Posts: 3 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Tucson
HurtingandLost
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Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 12:34 AM, November 26th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HERKDUDE -

Sorry your here. I was in the military (Army) for 10+ years and ended up getting out over this shit with WW#1 (yes, I remarried and I think she's the same gawd-damned woman).

Piece of advice. I threw away a great career becuase I allowed this shit to eat me alive. I ended up getting out mainly becuase my two oldest kids didnt have a Father around. The day after I got out I added up the time away and it equaled:

Oldest Son = 6 yrs old and 3 1/2 years gone (12 1/2 now)
Oldest Daughter 2 years old and 20 months gone (7 1/2 now)

So for that part, no regrets.

However, one thing remains VERY clear. You are deploying. You HAVE NO CONTROL OVER HER. ONLY YOU. AND YOU HAVE A MISSION TO PERFORM. If you have doubts, trust your gut becuase they are there for a reason. She hasnt taken the steps necessary to prove to you otherwise. Like IC and the hard work that goes with it.

FOCUS ON YOU. ON YOUR NEEDS. ON YOUR AIRMEN. ON YOUR MISSION. GET THROUGH IT, AND ONCE YOUR BACK YOU CAN ADDRESS THE WW. GODSPEED BROTHER.


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
HerkDude
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Member # 30219
Default  Posted: 12:40 AM, November 26th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are correct. I don't let it influence my day to day mission over here (nor the airmen that I lead). Honestly, after so many deployments, the mission is second nature (almost like breathing); which gives me plenty of time to think of my situation. I have made my peace with knowing that she can do whatever to me while I am gone. It just kills me that our marriage has come to this point.


BH (34)
WW (34)
M (11 yrs)
3 DDs (14, 10, 8)
DD: 14 Feb 2009

Posts: 3 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Tucson
HurtingandLost
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Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 12:56 AM, November 26th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you read the stories on here, you will find the corellation...many of us have dedicated ourselves to our families, careers,etc., and have met the ultimate betrayal for our efforts.

My XWW has told me repeatedly that she never felt "so alone" as when she was married to me....I was gone too much.

I asked her once what she defined as alone. I spent months on end in shitholes around the world doing what most people couldnt even imagine. I've been shot at, starved, etc. all while being deprived of the joys of being a father and husband. All this while she had the kids and family support....

I did this with a smile on my face knowing I was fortunate enough to be leading some of the finest soldiers to ever dawn the uniform. Yeah, I had the occasional shit bag from time to time, but 98% of the folks I led and served with were among the best.

I learned one thing well. I let those thoughts of the xww screwing everything that walked back home into my head and it drove me absolutely nutts. I always thought of my marriage as sacred somehow. Love, Integrity, etc would rule the day. I was proud of my marriage, especially with the high mortality rate of marriage in the military, mainly due to infidelity. I was wrong. And that ate at me most of all...

I walked away with one piece of my mind intact. And I hold onto it today though the current shitstorm. I can still look at the guy in the mirror and like what I see. I have never cheated on myself, my spouse, or my family. And as long as I can do that; as long as WE can do that as men then we are FAR ahead of our peers in the game of life...

Dont let her get to ya. Hang in there...


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
SourCherryDrops
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Member # 25883
Default  Posted: 3:38 AM, November 26th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi HerkDude,

Its shitty enough having to deal with this crap when your there when you can see the progress (or not) of your WW. I cannot imagine how much harder it must be if your not around, if you are not able to verify any of what she is saying, if you cant look her in the eye and try and tell if its just another line. Its no wonder your struggling to deal with it, hell your not able to deal with it....

But dude i think you know not dealing with it dont make it go away, you can sweep it under the rug but its still there.... and this aint a feww dust balls its a mountain of steamin shit.... Its going to stink until you deal with it.

If you deal with it together, then theres hope that the M will survive, but if your WW leaves you to deal with it by yourself, then i doubt that a fulfilling M with WW is possible.

I guess there really isnt a lot that you can do while your deployed, Maybe she will agree to go do some IC while your gone, maybe you can get a little for yourself, i understand the military has good support in this area.

Your right you cannot control her, but you can control how you react .... allways remeber that when you feel you have no control over the situation..... you do have control, control over the most important person, control over yourself, you can decide how you react.


Me BS 37, Her STBX 34, 1*ONS, 1*EA 1*PA/EA, 2*PA
Heading for D after 9 mths of R

Posts: 1468 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Europe
Jimi40
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Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 6:04 AM, November 26th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey, Herk. Welcome to our little club, sorry you had to sign up for this one.

We all do/did what we had to, to support our families, including these ungrateful wives we've been betrayed by. Maybe she doesn't appreciate what you do for her, but I'll tell you what brother, I appreciate what you do for us. All of you who serve/served. Thanks.

Now, back to the balls scratching!


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
Mr. Kite
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Member # 28840
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, November 26th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome HerkDude.

Sorry to threadjack.

There's no such thing here. For example; what kind of society have we become when a man isn't allowed to flip off his stbxw in public?

Middle Finger Lands Man In Jail

SACRAMENTO— A local man is facing charges of violating a restraining order after flipping the bird to his wife, according to authorities.

Paul Bechtel gave the rude gesture to his soon-to-be-ex-wife Rebecca during a recent appearance in a Sacramento County family court, but although the sentiment didn’t surprise her, she said the end result did.

“He went up, talked to the bailiff, turned around and flipped me off,” Rebecca said. “And was arrested.”

Deputies placed him in cuffs for violating a restraining order against him that called for no communication with Rebecca. Giving someone the finger, authorities said, is a form of communication.

The gesture also qualifies as harassment, Sheriff’s Department spokesman Tim Curran said.

“One would consider flipping the bird as harassing somebody, and that’s what the judge believed and he was charged accordingly,” Curran said.

Rebecca said it’s not the first time her husband has raised his middle finger at her since they filed for divorce, but it was the first time he did it in court.

“[He’s] very angry. Angry at the world,” she said.
http://sacramento.cbslocal.com/2010/11/23/middle-finger-lands-man-in-jail/


Posts: 900 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Mid-Atlantic
Jimi40
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Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, November 26th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LOL. Flip the bird, my ass, "how's that little red dot on your forehead, bitch?"


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, November 26th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ditto! Thank you guys for your service to our country!

Herk, there is a forum for the military here in ICR:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=189083

You & H&L make me proud and humble at the same time. I am amazed at your strength of character to get through this bomb of betrayal while serving AWAY. Your integrity and courage is almost beyond belief, and stands in STARK contrast to the behavior of your wives.

LOOK what they're throwing away!

I was posting here for quite awhile before one of the mods posted the "formula" for R, and it just struck home, and provided me with a template for R. A roadmap. It sure helped with that scattered and uncertain place I was in!

1. Remorse
2. Transparency
3. Honesty
4. NC

All those things need to be seen - ACTIONS! - especially as our female-units can so readily confuse us *dopey menz* with saccharin words.
Without those 4 basic things, what we get is "false R".

The painful stories of false R are all over the place here on SI. Let me tell you, they are B.R.U.T.A.L.

Ugh. Anything - anything at all you can do to avoid that? Do it.
Spare yourself.
Take care of yourself.

One last thing (I gotta go back to scratchin )
I hope and pray for your safety and peace of mind and heart. Avail yourself of whatever support structures you have.
What is the current thinking on heading to a polygraph as soon as you get home? Is that a viable option?

Strength to you!
Strength to us all!
Kick ASS!


Posts: 6012 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
survivorman
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Member # 29515
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, November 26th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmm. One of the nastiest things WW said to me during her EA was that she and I had never "made love," that it was always "just sex." This was, of course, an invidious comparison to OM, who she'd dated in college; she'd convinced herself that being with him was the last time she'd "made love."

Of course, I thought it was fog-induced bullshit at the time, and largely dismissed it as part of her attempt to convince herself that we'd never been close or shared a "meaningful connection." But while we were in (false) R, I asked her about what she'd said, and... I can't even remember her reply, it was so banal and unmemorable. I think she mostly just sloughed it off as something ridiculous she'd said while in the fog. Which wasn't, of course, entirely satisfactory.

Some background, since we're getting confessional: WW and I both had multiple partners before getting married, her more than me (by a factor of two or three, actually). So neither of us was under the illusion that sex had to be connected to love or deeper feelings, although of course those definitely enhanced it and made it more meaningful. At least to me; I have to wonder about her.

When we started dating, WW was the aggressive one. In fact, our first date lasted all of 20 minutes before she dragged me back to her place and had her way with me. Which was, you know, great and all, although it was a little disorienting. We'd known each other for a couple of years prior, and had both been dating other people for almost the entirety of that time. It was WW breaking up with her then-boyfriend that finally motivated me to ditch the troubled relationship I was then in, which technically made us each other's rebound. You could also say, I suppose, that WW and I were having an EA while technically committed to our then-SOs, which is sort of weird to contemplate. I'm not sure infidelity concepts map neatly onto premarital relationships, but I throw that out there for whatever it's worth.

Things were further complicated by the fact that I was unfaithful with my prior exGF early in my relationship with WW. It was a moment of horrible weakness and bad boundaries on my part, and it was definitely cheating even though exGF was the aggressor and even though I kept my pants on while she wasn't wearing any to begin with. WW, of course, lost no opportunity to throw this back in my face when her EA started, although I had confessed and been utterly remorseful early on. WW and I worked hard at the time to establish better boundaries, including a no-contact-with-exes rule, and it really worked -- at least until her EA a year ago.

All that's just windup to what happened to my sex life with WW once our (false) R began last year. The sex was frequent, kinky and often rough (at WW's request) and even more impersonal than it had ever been. Without going into graphic detail, I'll just say that the fact that I've always been good with ropes and knots came in real handy, as did a bunch of equipment WW and I purchased together during that period. WW told me it was a huge relief to be able to explore her fetishes with me, and of course I was only happy to comply.

This, too, had echoes of her EA and our respective pasts. WW apparently had one really kinky relationship with an exBF about 15 years ago, but hadn't really had an opportunity to indulge herself since. She told me she gave up on me in that respect a long time ago -- frankly, I barely remember her trying, but that might be my fault.

It was also clear during her EA that she was prepping herself for the OM in this respect as well. (For various reasons, I'm 99% certain her EA never turned into a PA, which I can explain if anyone cares.) Shortly after she announced she wanted to leave me for OM last year, she told me that I wasn't "weird" enough for her, and strongly implied that OM was. (OM was an exBF, but not the kinky one.) This was a clear reference both to kinky sex and to her increasingly difficult-to-fathom "spiritual" beliefs -- especially her conviction that the ghost of an unborn child from her time with OM was haunting her.

The frequency of the sex was great, obviously -- we'd had a long dry spell of almost 9 months prior to that -- but the impersonality of it was a double-edged sword. (The kink itself was no problem for me; I didn't have the need for it that WW apparently did, but new experiences, positions, techniques, toys, etc. were all good.) On the one hand, it felt like using WW, and that was fine, because I wanted to use her. To repeat a line from a poster on another board, I fucked her like a porn star -- and she welcomed it.

On the other hand, I was starting to wonder if the kink was getting in the way of reestablishing our emotional connection. The few times we had "normal" sex, WW seemed unsatisfied, so I didn't make a habit of it. But as exciting and different as the bondage etc. was, it wasn't doing a lot to bring us closer. As WAL put it, we were basically rutting like pigs -- at least, if the pigs in question were into leather, straps, flogging, various latex toys and hemp rope.

I didn't worry a whole lot about that at the time, mostly because I figured it would take us time to get back to the emotional side of sex. But it never happened; instead, WW went back into the fog (whether specifically involving her obsession with OM or not isn't clear) and insisted on moving out and getting a divorce. Oh, and when she moved out, she took all our "equipment" without asking. I had made an idle remark once that I wasn't sure it was a great idea for a single guy to have all that stuff lying around, which WW apparently took as carte blanche to abscond with it.

Not sure what any of this means at this point; I'm NC with WW and just filed for D last Thursday (though I haven't served her yet). But it's a story I haven't really told anyone before -- it was WW's and my secret, and rightfully so, I thought -- and I sort of wanted to put it out there.


Me: BH; Her: Slime Mold; DS7
D-day #1 6/09; D-day #2 8/10; divorced 3/12

After what you did I can't stay on
And I'll probably feel a whole lot better
When you're gone


Posts: 489 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: survivorman
Jimi40
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Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, November 26th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Feel better, Survivor??

My first wife and I were young, and dumb, and full of cum. We used to have contests to see who could get picked up the most times in one night. Needless to say our marriage collapsed under the strain of stupidity.

After a period of adjustment, I met my present wife, and before we even got started, I told her I didn't want that type of relationship again. I guess I should of stressed from "both sides" not just me.


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
lordhasaplan?
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Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, November 26th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Relative newbie!,
Just want to say hello. I have been reading with much amusement the thred. It appears us BMen have a place to vent. I Like! Whats up with WW's who just continue to lie, even though you know everything that doesn't ad up is BS! Frustrating! Like keeping one last tiny secret is going to devistae me even though I know you had a guys d%$@ in your mouth, Geez!

[This message edited by lordhasaplan? at 12:00 PM, November 26th (Friday)]


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10)

Posts: 1797 | Registered: Nov 2010
Mr. Kite
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Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, November 26th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, and when she moved out, she took all our "equipment" without asking.

Now that's going too far.
I always wondered once we get into the ropes, chains, whips, masks, porn movies, and other "tools" that make sex less mundane; where do we go after that? Wouldn't just straight sex be incredibly boring? Those are most likely rhetorical questions but maybe you or someone else has an answer.

Welcome, lordhasaplan? Why do they continue to lie? a) because it's second nature to them, like breathing in and out b) because of fear of making things worse. If I find out about one more OM, just one, I'm done. WW knows this and is keeping TT to a bare minimum until she no longer gives a damn about the M. It must be tough living with all those secrets.



Posts: 900 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Mid-Atlantic
jjct
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Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, November 26th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Jimi, you crack me up!

Welcome lord?...if we had a contest for the most-asked question on SI,
"Why do they lie?" would win.
The only little bit of insight I have is when you catch them, and they say; "Because I didn't want to hurt you."

On the face of it, can you see how ridiculous that answer is?

Remember that Batman movie, where the people would erupt and gush out with crawly maggots? That's what I *see* with liars. Maggot vomiters.

I think it was wal that said that sex is like pizza, remember that one? (Even if he didn't, it's something he would say, so he's on the hook for it anyway!)
Sex is like hot-sauce too, where 'if you're really into that' you keep going up the scoville scale to get yer yaya's.

You could call it a point of diminishing returns. I don't know, it could be a slippery slope for OM's, right?
Where the hunt for low hanging fruit,
AKA a married woman -
fills the need to fill the boredom.
It's either that, or farm animals at that point I guess.

Don't listen to me though, after being cheated on by two wives, the thought of intimate marital relations isn't exactly on my top list of 'pleasant things to think about'.


Posts: 6012 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
SourCherryDrops
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Member # 25883
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, November 26th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whats up with WW's who just continue to lie, even though you know everything that doesn't ad up is BS! Frustrating! Like keeping one last tiny secret is going to devistae me even though I know you had a guys d%$@ in your mouth, Geez!

Part of it i am sure just habit, They have been lying for so long that its second nature, that the lie sometimes lsips out before the brain was even engaged. But I also firmly believe there is also a strong element of not being able to or willing too see the consequences.

Sure when you point them out they understand, nod their heads, and swear never to lie again... but they rarely actually get it... the next time round its still the same old merry-go-round. The lie alleviates the immediate situation, it diverts the expected reaction... the consequences of being caught in the lie havent even been considered.

(this doesnt just apply to WW's WH's are juat as bad...)


I didn't worry a whole lot about that at the time, mostly because I figured it would take us time to get back to the emotional side of sex. But it never happened;

I think this is possibly more indicative of the lack of emotional bond, rather than a direct problem with getting involved in 'edgier' sex.

Sure there's an element of allways wanting to push the envelope, but i also believe that no matter how kinky you go if your in love then the good old standard will still be satisfying.

Ive had some pretty wild ONS's but never anything kinky in a proper relationship ... what have i been doing wrong


Me BS 37, Her STBX 34, 1*ONS, 1*EA 1*PA/EA, 2*PA
Heading for D after 9 mths of R

Posts: 1468 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Europe
survivorman
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Member # 29515
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, November 26th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jimi40:
Feel better, Survivor??

Heh. Yes. Btw, that must have been some contest .

Mr. Kite:

I always wondered once we get into the ropes, chains, whips, masks, porn movies, and other "tools" that make sex less mundane; where do we go after that? Wouldn't just straight sex be incredibly boring? Those are most likely rhetorical questions but maybe you or someone else has an answer.

Can't speak for everyone, of course, but the old tried-and-true still holds a lot of appeal for me. If I take WW at her word, the same might not necessarily be true for her -- which is just too damn bad. We once had a chuckle during false R over how awful it would be to have to find someone new who would do all this stuff. Yup, I'm guessing that might be a problem for her .

I mean, I'm more than happy to have had some wild experiences that I'd otherwise never have seen outside of movies. But this --

Sex is like hot-sauce too, where 'if you're really into that' you keep going up the scoville scale to get yer yaya's.

You could call it a point of diminishing returns.

-- isn't where I am, I don't think. (Although my taste in porn has, um, broadened somewhat.) Of course, I haven't yet put this theory to a road test, so to speak. jjct, feel free to get back to me in six months or more after the D is final.

SCD:

I think this is possibly more indicative of the lack of emotional bond, rather than a direct problem with getting involved in 'edgier' sex.

No question. I was just sort of starting to wonder why that was. Guess I found out.

Sure there's an element of allways wanting to push the envelope, but i also believe that no matter how kinky you go if your in love then the good old standard will still be satisfying.

My feeling exactly. I mean, yeah, I wonder sometimes about whether and how my expectations have been reset, but at heart the kinky stuff struck me as fun but non-essential. A willing and enthusiastic partner has always been the best "hot sauce" so far as I'm concerned.

[This message edited by survivorman at 3:53 PM, November 26th (Friday)]


Me: BH; Her: Slime Mold; DS7
D-day #1 6/09; D-day #2 8/10; divorced 3/12

After what you did I can't stay on
And I'll probably feel a whole lot better
When you're gone


Posts: 489 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: survivorman
wincing_at_light
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Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, November 26th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

...her more than me (by a factor of two or three, actually).

I keep thinking I'm going to do a BH poll on this topic. It seems that lots of the BH's on SI have this story (i.e., wives with significantly more sexual partners before -- well, and during, too, I guress -- the marriage.)

I know that this is true in our case, and it wasn't the sort of thing I ever really spent much time thinking about prior to D-day. I fell right into the "we've got a special kind of love" trap where I thought it would render all of the promiscuous behavior before me a thing of the past.

My first marriage was really (REALLY) crappy sexually. I mean, by the time I was 20, I was getting it once every 3 months if I begged for it. A wise lady here on SI pointed out that I very likely chose my wife as a partner solely because of the rejection dynamic of my first marriage -- I was going to make sure subconsciously that I wasn't going to get rejected sexually ever again.

Interestingly, my brothers (who both dated and/or married a series of promiscuous women) both blame our upbringing. Essentially, they think that being preacher's kids trained us to find troubled women and try to redeem them (or at least believe that they *could* be redeemed), when we should have just gone looking for wives like our mom...which is exactly what my younger brother did with his second wife and the youngest did with his first.

Oddly enough, it's also what I did with my first, but we see how well that worked out for me.


Machiavellian idiot savant

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