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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men-Part 6 (Men only)
Jimi40
♂ Member
Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, November 30th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd get her a big fuck you with shit sprinkles on top.

I have an unopened one of these, if anyone is interested.


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, November 30th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

H&L.

Mine tries to rant, but I cut her off and just point to the door. She knows that I truly dont give a fuck if she splits..

Sadly enuf Im a SLOW learner. Really slow actually.

Ive only recently (over the past year or so) come to this conclusion and gained strength enuf to stick to it.

I find it very liberating.

Razor


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3088 | Registered: Sep 2007
Jimi40
♂ Member
Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, November 30th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Guys, seriously, I hate to put this out there, because I don't want the good women feeling small, but, really, there are dozens of women out there for every one of us. Good women, just dying to find a good man.

Don't point at the door, or toss the divorce card. Just let her know her replacement is closer then she thinks.


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
mkgit
♂ New Member
Member # 30208
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, November 30th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

although a men's cologne "Egoiste" might be appropriate. on second thought,
I'd get her a big fuck you with shit sprinkles on top
sounds much more deserving.

Last night I got the "you are verbally abusing me" card laid on me. I took the advice on SI and said "I'm sorry you feel that way". i didn't yell or rightly call her unstable. just walked away and savored my glass of red wine. mentally and emotionally, i can feel i'm moving on from this insanity. just trying to get my ducks in a row and make the best 0utcome for my kids.


Posts: 31 | Registered: Nov 2010
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, November 30th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't point at the door, or toss the divorce card. Just let her know her replacement is closer then she thinks.

I'm pretty sure I don't want another one, as long as I still have hands. I shoulda stayed single.


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5360 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, November 30th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

64Fleet -

Withya Brother. I should have stuck to the original plan after my 1st marriage ended in this crap. Hell, let me take that back...

When I was 16 my Father pulled me aside and told me point blank that if I was smart, I would stay single and raise potatoes. If I got lonely get a fucking dog.

Shoulda listened....

Love my kids though so kinda glad I didnt.


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
Jimi40
♂ Member
Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, November 30th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Noone said you had to marry her. Jesus, she can come over, fuck ya, clean the house, do the dishes, and go home for a week.

[This message edited by Jimi40 at 11:33 AM, November 30th (Tuesday)]


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, November 30th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hear you-I was happiest when I lived alone & had a fantastic German Shepherd dog, man I loved that dog-best companion a man could have, IMO-she never lied to me EVER. Always went to tejh neighbor's yard to poop.


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5360 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, November 30th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No shit Jimi.

*WHAT A REAL WOMAN DOES*

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and

never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.

She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.

She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible. . .

No wait... Sorry... I'm thinking of beer.

That's what beer does...

Never mind.


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
Jimi40
♂ Member
Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, November 30th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She's hard to get started
She's always so cold
In the mornings I find her -
She's looking so old
There's so many miles
I've been down that road once or twice
She's not much to look at
When we ride through town
But I know when the chips fall
She won't let me down
She knows how to run
And she don't run around on her man

She's a high flying lady
She takes me where I want to be
There's no other woman
Standing between her and me
I'll always be faithful
And keep her 'til the end of time
God knows I'll always love
That old Panhead of mine


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 12:40 AM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow...I mention beer and you all disappear....must be off reveling in the Holiday Spirit...or consuming holiday spirits....


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
Jimi40
♂ Member
Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

<burp>

I'm sorry, you were saying something about beer??


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
mkgit
♂ New Member
Member # 30208
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is this normal?

so its been 11 months since DDay. A NC has been in place and, to my knowledge, been respected by WW except to warn OM that i will be contacting OMW. we are in MC and i'm in IC. she's apologized for the hurt she's caused me, although i won't say there is real remorse on her part. i've read soo many d*mn books and been on the sites (SI especially). but yet with all the steps she's taken to rebuild trust and confidence and transparency, etc i mainly despise this woman. the yelling has mostly died down but she sees that i despise and i'm repelled by her. there has been no sex for more than 4months. i just have no desire for her although i definitely have it for other ladies .

my question (confusion) is this a normal part of the process for recovering from an EA (haven't been able to prove otherwise)? will eventually those feelings come back in time? most of the time i'm ready to move on without her but there is a part of me that feels i'm just being vindictive and eventually her patience will give out an she'll initiate the S/D.

not really sure what's going on a lot of confusion here.

thanks.


Posts: 31 | Registered: Nov 2010
lostcause111
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Member # 19109
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

mkgit.

Real R.

She earns your love again through actions and fights threw your wall.

After months of being a great wife your defenses will weaken. and you will see a new her.

if that happens you are lucky.

For most of us here on this thread it is a dream that has faded away....


Posts: 934 | Registered: Apr 2008
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 8:33 AM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm 3 yrs out & just last nite jerked away when WW touched my head to put her fingers in my hair. I don't kiss her(xcept for a peck)but we do fuck about 1x week.

sometimes I can't stand her still. The feelings come back for some, haven't for me yet, & I really doubt they will.

you are normal, IMO mkgit

It would have been much better to stay single, this shit sucks.


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5360 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
mkgit
♂ New Member
Member # 30208
Default  Posted: 8:49 AM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

64fleet

i agree. it sucks. its just draining and i can't imagine that this will go on for a year, two, etc. if not for the kids, staying single is the best.


Posts: 31 | Registered: Nov 2010
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I was 16 my Father pulled me aside and told me point blank that if I was smart, I would stay single and raise potatoes. If I got lonely get a fucking dog.

Your Dad is a smart man, I have already begun to tell my boy to stay single if at all possible.

I love my kids dearly, but if I had never had children I would not have known any different.

I dunno about ya'll, but if i want any from her I just get it-no way in hell she can tell me no after fucking two other guys behind my back...or there is the fucking door


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5360 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

mkgit.... What I found was that I really just ran out of steam emotionally and physically... The daily struggle of jumping over hurdle after hurdle and also the "never really knowing" what the truth was wiped me out...

After I moved out, the ex kept trying to reel me back in and the drama was just too much... Life and relationships should not be a combination of walking on egg shells or crawling through glass...

The feelings I had for the ex never came back... I honestly don't believe I will ever have the depth of feelings for anyone like I did for her...

What I find is that the whole A event changed me to my core... Going through it was like getting keel hauled...

It sounds to me that for right now you're faking it while you're making it... That can only go on so long... Eventually you'll either find your happiness with her or without her...

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5895 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I honestly don't believe I will ever have the depth of feelings for anyone like I did for her...

I know for a fact I will never fall for anyone ever again-that shit is for schmucks, IMO. BTDT, it got me here...


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5360 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
Mr. Kite
♂ Member
Member # 28840
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is this normal? i mainly despise this woman. will eventually those feelings come back in time?

Yes, despising the WW seems to be the norm, at least for awhile. The feelings may or may not come back depending on your situation and how you're wired up. For some it's a dealbreaker, for others not.

For me there's been a transition from fantasy to cold reality. That's a good thing. I've come to the conclusion that the safest and best relationship/marriage is where both partners know without a shadow of a doubt that they can live just fine without the other one. That's where I'm at presently. That eliminates groveling, whining, fear, and putting up with all the b.s.

Your Dad is a smart man, I have already begun to tell my boy to stay single if at all possible.

My son is 19 and getting married on Feb 12th, to a young lady he met on the internet. Apparently he didn't learn a damn thing while living under my roof. I grieve for him and fear for his future.


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