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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men-Part 6 (Men only)
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 1:42 PM, December 7th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Posts: 6013 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Mr. Kite
♂ Member
Member # 28840
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, December 7th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wis woman jailed for biting off husband's tongue

SHEBOYGAN, Wis. - A Wisconsin woman is accused of biting off her husband's tongue as he was giving her a good night kiss.

Sheboygan police say the man in his late 70s called authorities about 11 p.m. Monday, but was having trouble speaking. An ambulance was dispatched to the house.

Sgt. Terry Meyer says the husband and wife were singing Christmas carols when paramedics arrived. Meyer says the woman, in her late 50s, threw a coffee cup at them.

The man was taken to a Sheboygan hospital and then transferred to Froedtert Memorial Lutheran Hospital in the Milwaukee area where he was to have his tongue reattached. Police say the man didn't want his wife arrested. But, she was taken into custody on possible charges of mayhem and domestic violence.
http://www.startribune.com/local/111437174.html

Husband's plan for the day:
a) kiss the wife good night
b) call 9/11 with a torn off tongue
c) sing Christmas carols with the wife for the arriving paramedics
d) get her some coffee so she'll have something to throw at visitors
e) go to the hospital and have my tongue reattached
f) bail out wife and apologize for all the trouble I caused
g) stock up on Viagra


Posts: 900 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Mid-Atlantic
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:47 PM, December 7th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wewwy withmas yall!

Posts: 6013 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
SourCherryDrops
♂ Member
Member # 25883
Default  Posted: 3:59 AM, December 8th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So what does she do? Exactly the opposite of what I warned her about. Why? Because she still emotionally responds to life like a rebellious teenager. "No one tells me what to do!

My WW told me that i was trying to 'Raise' her.

I think what happens is that after the passion dwindles, and we settle into our routines, our roles in the M. Its common for the W to see us as the provider, the caretaker, the person who will allways be there....

So who else fills a very similar role in our WW's lives.... their dad right!

They start to relate to us less and less as lover and more and more in an almost parental role. At some point this brings the rebelious teenager response to the fore, and presto they are out doing exactly the opposite of what we asked simply because we asked it.... every thing we say is meant to stiffle and supress them,

I do admit that sometimes i may have lectured her like a father would, but it was because i loved her... actually the same reason most fatherly lectures occur. But its too late the message that is sent is not the one thats recieved.

"Please stop smoking, cancer runs in your family, and i watched my mum die of it, i dont want to go through the same with you" becomes "Stop being stupid and do what i say!"


Me BS 37, Her STBX 34, 1*ONS, 1*EA 1*PA/EA, 2*PA
Heading for D after 9 mths of R

Posts: 1468 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Europe
deeppurple
♂ Member
Member # 28757
Default  Posted: 4:44 AM, December 8th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SCD - couldnt agree more. WW married her father & I married the mother that I saw in her - yep straight out of IC session no 1.

[This message edited by deeppurple at 4:45 AM, December 8th (Wednesday)]


Me - BS 49
Her - WS 43
Married 16 yrs (together 17 yrs)
DD13 DS10 DS8 DS6
DDay 1 6.4.2010 dday 2 7.25.2010
Heading for divorce.
"Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up"

Posts: 522 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Where the sun is shining & the surf is pumping
Lotsa
♂ Member
Member # 28078
Default  Posted: 4:47 AM, December 8th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They start to relate to us less and less as lover and more and more in an almost parental role.

And here I was thinking I was the only one who had a xWS who related to me like this. Very enlightening.

I got the old line "you sound just like my father" when she returned from fucking OM after not being contactable for hours at a time, all the while the dinner I cooked for her was bone cold and I was stressed thinking she'd been killed in a car accident or met some other unimagineable misfortune. My annoyance at her inability to make a frigging phone call made *me* just like her father.


Posts: 880 | Registered: Mar 2010
Merlin
♂ Member
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 7:12 AM, December 8th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They start to relate to us less and less as lover and more and more in an almost parental role. At some point this brings the rebelious teenager response to the fore, and presto they are out doing exactly the opposite of what we asked simply because we asked it.... every thing we say is meant to stiffle and supress them.

SCD,
Exactly! And yet, somehow I missed that I was cast in this role. She even told her Mother that 'I married by Dad' so somehow, I was the problem and thus the reason for her affair. I think that psychologists call this "doing exactly the opposite of what we asked simply because we asked it" counterdependency - making the perceived offender unhappy rather than making themselves happy.

Thanks for this insight. I need every one I can get.



"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/56 Me: BS/62, 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11


Posts: 1103 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
3yrwait
♂ Member
Member # 29907
Default  Posted: 7:24 AM, December 8th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So what does she do? Exactly the opposite of what I warned her about. Why? Because she still emotionally responds to life like a rebellious teenager. "No one tells me what to do!

The only way I've seen to deal with this with WW is to go along with it. Let them or help them fall on their face. Someone referred to it as "mental judo"


Me: BH (early 40s)
Her: WW (early 40s)
Married 15 years
1 daughter, under 10
DDay July 2007

Posts: 450 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: 3yrwait
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 7:53 AM, December 8th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MEN ONLY!

[This message edited by Deeply Scared at 1:06 PM, December 8th (Wednesday)]


me BS female 55/him WS 58
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 6763 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Merlin
♂ Member
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, December 8th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And supposedly this happens to ALL men, even those that are faithful and happy in their marriages.

PPGA,

Maybe it is all men all the time. But categorical statements like this should be taken with a box of salt. I certainly look longingly at attractive women.

But, so what if it is true? Window shopping (look, don't touch) is not a bad thing.

The huge difference between looking and touching is where the trouble starts, whether with credit cards or deciding that an affair is okay. That's a decision. And it has little to do with looking.



"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/56 Me: BS/62, 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11


Posts: 1103 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, December 8th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ppga:

Is this true?

As a generality, I would say no. Does it happen, does it happen more with some men than others, yes.

In my own case, an attractive woman has caught my eye from time to time. So has a hot car or an exceptionally well-designed boat. Just because I take a second look does not mean I have any interest in having sex or a relationship with them. In fact most of the women, cars, and boats that catch my eye are more maintenance and expense than I am willing to expend. I am happy with the woman (mostly), car, and boat that I have.

I find these generalities about men and sexual fantasies demeaning, and enabling for weak men. They are no truer than allegations a woman cannot pass a shoe sale without trying a pair on.


LTA BS 53
FWW 60
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Reconciled

Posts: 3967 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, December 8th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lotsa: And here I was thinking I was the only one who had a xWS who related to me like this. Very enlightening.

If there is any single lesson to be learnt in this forum. It is that NONE of us has a unique story. I have lost count of the number of times we have all asked each other if we are all M to the same woman.

painpaingoaway:

No. You are not allowed to post in this forum. But I wont tell

Speaking in VERY broad strokes. What you speak of is the dance all men and women do. Women want attention. And many dress and act such that they get that attention.

We are also programmed by evolution to be attracted to women with good genes. When you get right down to it. Beauty is all about good health and reproductive qualities. Nice hair. Clear skin. Good teeth. Slim. And youth. Because women with these qualities are likely to produce healthy children. So this is a evolution thing. So blame Darwin..

All that said tho. Every one is different. We each will act differently in different situ. While our stories are similar. We remain individuals.

Before Dday when I see a pretty woman on the street or even on the tele. I may have glanced in her direction. But it was not a lingering look at all. I was not drawn to them at all. In me mind I was M. And that was the end of that story.

Now. After Dday. If I see a pretty woman. I look. Does this make me WW insecure? Does it make her unhappy? I dunno. But I also dont care one bit what she thinks. I dont care at all.

Razor


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3084 | Registered: Sep 2007
SimoneDB
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Member # 27209
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, December 8th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MEN ONLY!

[This message edited by Deeply Scared at 1:08 PM, December 8th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 88 | Registered: Jan 2010
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 9:13 AM, December 8th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

did someone leave the door open?


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5359 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
hurts
♂ Member
Member # 9444
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, December 8th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, it must be a difference with me, I walked by and had a dream of a relationship just yesterday. The lines I found so attractive and the gentle hum in her voice while running just got me really wanting....

That new tablesaw.

I don't look at women longingly, but put me a tool department or a lumberyard and I'm gone.


Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?"
Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
--- Charles M. Schulz
SO if I check my pulse, and it is not there, do I get the day off?

Posts: 8381 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: At Home
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 9:31 AM, December 8th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seriously, am I not welcome? If not that's okay...I didn't mean to start a war, I just wanted to get honest male opinions and I just thought I would get more responses on a 'man' thread.

I do want to respond and ask more questions, but I don't want to be here if I'm not welcome.

And I dont want to break the rules and get kicked out of SI.

Mainly, I just want honesty, whether I like the responses or not.

Question: can I post here?

Razor,

No. You are not allowed to post in this forum. But I wont tell

Are you being facetious? Or is this for real?

64fleet,

did someone leave the door open?

I hear you loud and clear...


me BS female 55/him WS 58
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 6763 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 9:36 AM, December 8th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

painpaingoaway

This is our safe place. So you are not allowed here. Sorry.

You can ask what you like in the General forum and get answers there. If you want Men opinions just say so in the thread title. We will answer.

But this is OUR place. Sorry. But you walked into the *Mens Locker Room*.

Razor


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3084 | Registered: Sep 2007
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, December 8th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MEN ONLY!!!!!!

[This message edited by Deeply Scared at 1:07 PM, December 8th (Wednesday)]


me BS female 55/him WS 58
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 6763 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Merlin
♂ Member
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, December 8th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope that you will reconsider your own point of view and perhaps modify your "window shopping" behavior.

SimoneDB (btw: your namesake's and her husband's philosphy wreak),

Before you're thrown out of the mens' locker room, (I had no idea it was a rule) tell me with a straight face that you have never looked at another man with any hint of wonder. Sorry, not credible. Neither women nor men are automatons.

ETA: I did say look, not leer.

[This message edited by Merlin at 9:58 AM, December 8th (Wednesday)]


"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/56 Me: BS/62, 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11


Posts: 1103 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
Merlin
♂ Member
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, December 8th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, it must be a difference with me, I walked by and had a dream of a relationship just yesterday. The lines I found so attractive and the gentle hum in her voice while running just got me really wanting....
That new tablesaw.

I don't look at women longingly, but put me a tool department or a lumberyard and I'm gone.

Hurts,

This is awesome because its so true. I guess that women are wired way different from men. But, maybe not. Do you see the way they look at shoes? :-)

[This message edited by Merlin at 9:55 AM, December 8th (Wednesday)]


"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/56 Me: BS/62, 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11


Posts: 1103 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
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