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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men-Part 6 (Men only)
longsadstory1952
♂ Member
Member # 29048
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, December 9th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey Zombie. One of the things (maybe the only thing) frustrating about SI is that the stories are often so similar that you kind of forget what the past posts were for each BH. If I remember it right, your WW gave you hell at first about who she was going to go with, then lied about NC, then you caught her breaking NC and were ready to leave. If I remember right it wasn't just a NC break but an attempt at a hook up.

Anyway, if I am right, you have every right to be furious. This kind of conduct will set you back to day 1. Her responses to OM are crazy making. She just doesn't get that there is no such thing as halfway. It's all or nothing.


Posts: 357 | Registered: Jul 2010
zombieman
♂ Member
Member # 28996
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, December 9th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

longsadstory - yeah you've pretty much got it right. I've now talked to POS's W again, she contacted me this time. We are teaming up to get the truth out of this crazy situation. I have asked WW if NC was ever followed, what else has been happening etc.. and that the truth is going to come out very soon, so she can either come out and admit what has been happening, even if its as simple as discussions about mundane things and we work through it or I find out via the POS W eventually and the crap hits the fan. Her response is total freak out pity party, im lost, im broken, but no admitting what has been happening, hanging up when I call. I've got that sinking feeling again and she has packed a bag and walked out. Just unbelievable. : (

Posts: 88 | Registered: Jul 2010
GeauxTigers
♂ Member
Member # 28301
Default  Posted: 11:08 PM, December 9th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, if nothing else, pages 30-32 prove women can't follow directions...


Sigh... how did I end up here?

Posts: 1379 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Nashville
SourCherryDrops
♂ Member
Member # 25883
Default  Posted: 4:18 AM, December 10th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

zombieman,

what is your gut telling you about the IM's?

Do you believe this was a one off, or do you think that its pretty much a regular part of their day?

Now go back and look at what your consequences were for her breaking NC...you wrote them down right so you wouldnt forget them....

Time to ennact the appropriate consequence for what your gut is telling you this situation is.


Me BS 37, Her STBX 34, 1*ONS, 1*EA 1*PA/EA, 2*PA
Heading for D after 9 mths of R

Posts: 1468 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Europe
Jimi40
♂ Member
Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 6:23 AM, December 10th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're not some abused mis-understood men on THIS site...you've been treated fairly and with respect.
So much so that the two women that did post on here were removed. So...you're welcome

So really, stop with the smart-ass comments.

We love you mods, and you know we do. We appreciate everything you do for us. But!!!!!! Sometimes we have to make fun of funny things. No one is making fun of you mods, we're poking fun at the intruders. Sorry, we'll behave now.


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
metamorphisis
♀ Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, December 10th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jimi, thank you

Geauxtigers.. the generalizing guidelines still apply in here.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 42819 | Registered: Sep 2006
Jimi40
♂ Member
Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, December 10th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hiya, Meta!!

<waves>


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
Jimi40
♂ Member
Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, December 10th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hiya, Meta!!

<waves>

Are you our guardian angel today?


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, December 10th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

zombie.

A kinda long story. Sorry.

Dday#2 was a odd one for me.

back ground.
OM live in a city 1000+ miles away. This is where we used to live. The A started there. Things were going to crap in me view and I had no idea why. So when a business opportunity came up in a far away city. we moved. The A continued but was long distance. I still didnt know what was going on.

WW would fly back to be with her *girl friends* (yeh right) or deal with *family problems* (sure). While there she would usually stir some shit. Get angry at me. Then drop out of communication for a few days. She was with OM during that time.

Just prior to Dday#1 WW talk me into moving back to our home city (where OM lives). About 3 months after this I had accumulated a mountain of circumstantial evidence and confront her. Which led eventually to Dday#1.

We continue to live in that city for several years. During this time OM contact me thru email at me business. Some how or the other he discover that we are back in the area. He say he find our address thru the public records at the library. And he say if I come after him he will contact WW again(threat was to start up with her again). He also threaten legal action should I want to harm him or his family.

I eventually sold me business - I couldnt do it any more cause I couldnt concentrate. I tried to retire there. But couldnt stand driving by all the cheap motels they stay at. Going any where near where OM lived. And because he knew where we lived I was allways on the look out for him in our neighborhood. Also WW refused to tell me of all the A stuff. Her excuse were that it were a LTA and there were to much to tell. As in: *where did you go together?* answer: *every where* So we moved.

fast forward to 4 year ago.
Some thing just didnt feel right. So I start spying again. I discover that she had found a old photograph of her and OM together. And I find a email to her (enabler) GF that say WW was happyer with OM than she could ever be with me. That hurt. You bet.

Soon after that she say she want to go back to old city to visit *girl friends* and our oldest Son. I tell her I dont want her to go there with out me. But then later I tell her that its not me job to control her. Tell her what she can and cant do. So she knows me preference. But she can do as she like.

She went. And I went into detective mode full tilt. I find some indication that she may be making contact with OM again. (WW is a very good computer person. while me self is a computer idiot. she can hide things very well.)

So. WW decides to stop communication with me while out in the city were OM lives. JUST LIKE SHE DID DURING HER LTA. She say (later) that she do this cause she knew I was mad.

WW denies that she saw or spoke to OM. But what would she say if she did see him? She would lie. And say the exact thing she was telling me. No way to prove either way.

Now I call this Dday#2. I confronted. She denied. But I dont believe her. And since when she confessed on Dday#1 all hell came raining down. She has no motive to actually tell the truth.

OTOH. There I was retired. Fixed income. Bad economy. No business any more. So I had to stay and try and make it work.

OK.

So what do all this have to do with you? Good question. In writing all that I kinda forgot me self.

First.
I think we all have to realize that the attraction between our WW and they OM will allways be there. They will allways be drawn to them. Allways susceptible to they sweet words. May be some WW are different. I dunno. Those with multiple OM are a different animal. I am speaking of those WW who have a LTA with one OM. Where there was some *love* talk involved.

Its like a addiction. And if a person has a addiction they must admit to a weakness toward the object of they addiction. And if they acknowledge this weakness. Then they must guard extra heavy against it. If they dont then seems likely that they may fall back into it.

Second.
You dont have to have a up take of the A to have that be a deal breaker. Failure to address her shit may well be a boundary for you. Weakening of NC can also be a boundary for you. Once NC is broken (for *innocent* reasons of course) its easier to break it again. A work related convo - when repeated can become increasingly personal. As in

1) work info exchanged
2) hows work going for you
3) convo about people at work (office gossip)
4) how is you life going
5) how is you M going (aka is you H still a controlling asshole)
6) reminisce of old times (happy memories of the LTA)
7) we should meet for coffee some time
8) bumping uglies

So we have to be very cautious about those first steps toward the edge of that slippery slope. And may be just that first step can or should be a deal breaker. Thats your decision. Im just saying you should think about it.

Not sure if there were more I wanted to say about all my rambling. May be you can see some parallel in the lead up to me DDay#2 and you situ. All I can say for now is to watch out.

Razor


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3086 | Registered: Sep 2007
Mr. Kite
♂ Member
Member # 28840
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, December 10th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Balls of steel or brain of mush due to temporary insanity?

Asst. principal accused of threatening to kill cop

A Chicago elementary school assistant principal has been arrested and charged with threatening to kill a police officer whom he believed was having an affair with his wife, police said.

Carlos Delgado, 41, has been charged with one count of aggravated assault of a police officer and two counts of harassment by telephone, said Chicago Police Officer Dan O'Brien, a spokesman. All the charges are misdemeanors.

He is alleged to have spoken to the police officer's wife in July, telling her that his wife was having an affair with her husband, said a source, citing Delgado's arrest report.

That month he is also alleged to have sent a harassing text message to the officer, according to the source.

Then, on Sunday, Delgado is accused of standing on the officer's front lawn, making a "throat-slashing gesture" and threatening to kill the officer, the source said. He then fled the scene. The alleged threat was the basis for the assault charge.
http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2010/12/assistant-principal-accused-of-threatening-to-kill-cop.html


Posts: 900 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Mid-Atlantic
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, December 10th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel bad for the Asst. Principal (BH). Cop is probably using his position of authority to harass BH and get with his WW. Now with the BH out of the way (jail?) or otherwise neutered (restraining order) the cop will have more access to his wife (WW).

The *harassing text message* was probably some telling the cop to stay the hell away from his WW.

This stuff make me sick.

Is any one going to investigate whether or not the cop was having a affair with this guys wife? Probably not. Cause that dont matter.

Fuck. Now Im getting angry.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3086 | Registered: Sep 2007
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, December 10th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Temporary insanity.... That's pretty mild compared to what a lot of BS's do....

The guy is hiding behind his badge....

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5893 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, December 10th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WB.

Hes USING his badge to get to this poor guys WW.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3086 | Registered: Sep 2007
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, December 10th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The problem in the law enforcement community that I have witnessed is that the newer breed is riddled with individuals lacking the moral character and intestinal fortitude required to represent the community in an honorable fashion.

Out of the dozen or so guys I grew up with, half of us joined the military, and with the exception of one (me, I stayed in the military 10+ years), all that joined the military became cops. One of those guys is like the one represented in the video. He talked tough, but when the shit hit the fan he was / still is all talk and hides behind his badge.

I worked with federal law enforcement officers in the course of my duties of my soon to be previous job. I wasnt impressed.

I'm a criminal justice major and just less than a year from my BA (Finally), and I take classes with full time deputies, officers, detectives, etc...All of the instructors are either Distric Attorneys, Police Captains, Lieutenants, Detectives, Investigators, etc with Masters Degrees....You get the idea.

And I see it. There's a definite 50% + without integrity or moral character that I wouldnt want guarding my mall, let alone representing my community. And it truly does sicken me.

Not a whole lot of middle ground that I see, either. The bad ones are either REALLY bad or the good ones are truly exceptional at what they do.

And then you read an article like this and it strikes the chord of what I've already been observing in my little world...

[This message edited by HurtingandLost at 10:25 AM, December 10th (Friday)]


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
Jimi40
♂ Member
Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, December 10th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, guys', how many of you believe your WW/FWW/XWW told the OM you were a great guy??

No really, c'mon, quit laughing.


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, December 10th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry. Just cant stop

When I hear me WW say this (and I KNOW its a lie) I think shes just trying to rewrite history so she dont look so much like a lying. self centered. manipulative bitch.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3086 | Registered: Sep 2007
Jimi40
♂ Member
Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, December 10th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm the same, Razor. To me, it's just another way to lessen the stigma. I just love how many "FWW's" are saying this crap. It's beautiful; "I told him you were an awesome husband, and father. A great provider. And how much I love you. Then I sucked his dick and fucked him dry!"


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, December 10th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Holy shit thats funny Jimi

My exWW told everyone that I was an abusive cheat and a drunk. Most of the people she tried to tell though knew me better than that and put her in her place.....moving down the road.

My current WW probably said something demeaning but who really gives a shit? I know the guy in the mirror and like what I see...


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
Mr. Kite
♂ Member
Member # 28840
Default  Posted: 11:39 AM, December 10th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know absolutely nothing about one of the OM. Not his name, nor what went on. The second OM, I know his name and talked to him on the phone. The one thing I do know that she told him about me was that at the time I was a martial arts instructor and carried a gun. I know this because he told me he wasn't impressed and threatened to "kick my ass." WW probably told him these things in case he decided to squeal on her. She's devious, he's insanely stupid.

If I'm laying in bed with another man's wife and she tells me how wonderful he is, my first thought would be, then what are you doing here with me? Some people are truly bizarre!


Posts: 900 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Mid-Atlantic
Jimi40
♂ Member
Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, December 10th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honestly, I don't think I could get it up, if the woman I was with was telling me how great some other guy was. It just baffles me that these women think we'll buy that shit.

[This message edited by Jimi40 at 11:47 AM, December 10th (Friday)]


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
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