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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affair Part 21
m334455
♀ Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 10:50 AM, November 17th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Strongish. You do NOT sound whiny at all. Your IRL friend knowing is a GODSEND. Take that support.

Strongish, I was pregnant on DDay. At five months out, I was still crying on a regular basis, and my baby was 6 weeks old.

I quite honestly cried 6 HOURS a day, every day, without fail, for pretty much the entire first 5 months. Dday was Dec. 1 -- I think it was sometime in June before I was even aware of my surroundings.

I also lost lots of weight. The first month, I lost 10 pounds. So, three months before my due date I was below my pre-pregnancy weight. I finally managed to put on 12 pounds total, but they took my daughter early for failure to thrive. She weighed just a little over 6 pounds. Her brother who was born 11 months before had weighed 9 pounds.

Anyway, you're doing great.

Advice: Do NOT listen to your FWH on this stuff. And don't bother trying to change his viewpoint either.

he's still foggy/in denial. It might be a long time before he snaps out of it. My WH went down to look at his fish the other day and was down there a long time, and his eyes were pretty darn red when he came back up. Turns out, he'd had IC the day before.

What I've noticed is this: the more I go back to being "the old me" the more remorseful he gets. There's nothing manipulative about this. I just put me first, then the kids, always. I do try to meet his needs too, but I have to be #1, forever. I have a very busy life -- full time job, 4 kids, etc. -- and I can't take care of that if I'm not in my best shape.

And so, here's the thing: They don't see how their demonizing, unpredicatbility, etc. etc. tore you down until you lift yourself back up. So, the closer I get to being "me" -- my BEST me -- again, the more he can see the damage he inflicted and the more remorseful he becomes.


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, November 17th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not sure my reasons for staying are sound. They are based in fear.
Those who leave often do so for reasons based in fear. Donít question so much reasons to go as reasons to stay. The first one being: do you both want to try and make the marriage work? Making the marriage work was difficult when one of the partnership was in another relationship, and Iím sure there were times when WH thought that his affair was actually stabilising his world, it was his escape and release mechanism. Of course, if he did think that, he was rationalising otherwise unacceptable behaviour. But I guess the longer it went on, the more he could say that.

Itís different when Iíve been a SAHW&M. I can see that I was effectively trapped into it when H set up another business which allowed me to have an income (for which I did very little) which I would have had to work about 25hrs a week and pay tax and NI. Believe me, it was very easy to just say Thanks! Iíll just take the money! I know what I am entitled to should we divorce, but I also know that wouldnít amount to much 5yrs down the line. I would never have been able to go to NZ, for instance. But I have my colours nailed to the mast if he should do it again or if I strongly suspected he was in another affair. Heís out. And he knows it. I can live without him. After a time, I could be happy without him. Right now, Iím happier with him. I think my one big regret is not finding SI sooner. I would have thrown his lies back at him and maybe grown a backbone sooner than I did!

I cannot get back the love I had for him before. I told him, you canít chop down a mature oak tree and then try wood-gluing it back together. Thatís what he did. He was chopping away at it and on d-day, it was felled. So, make something constructive with the wood, meanwhile plant a sapling and make sure you tend it right.

We all play the ďwhat ifĒ games. We would all like a sliding doors life and get to choose which life we want after living them both. Do a Butterfly Effect and change history. You have to make decisions for yourself which make sense at the time. Or perhaps donít make sense. He or she who hesitates at the crossroads gets run over! So choose the road and be confident when you walk down it. Your FWS can either walk that road with you Ė or not. As we all know, you canít control your spouse, but you can control your responses to your spouse. You have to know that whatever you do, you can and will be happy because life is too short. Every day is a gift Ė so choose how to live it.

That is my positive post for the day!


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, November 17th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Would he quit attending no spouse reunions and meeting with old girlfriends for you?
Itís the sort of thing I should NOT have to go on about. One mention and he should have simply cancelled. No brainer, imo. Frankly, Iíve stopped caring about it. He's still a selfish fuckwit. I am going to help my friend move. She lives in the same town where he went to school and where a few of the reunion crowd still live (not ex-gfís). He asked the other day where I was staying. At my friendís gaff. Not in a hotel? No. He had thought to leave his car, have a few drinks and get on the last train with the others to old hometown and meet up with me at the hotel. And then get an early train in the morning to pick up his car. I have no idea why he came up with this complicated arrangement Ė itís too ludicrous for words. He wants me to let him go. Well, as I said in the previous post Ė I canít control him (I donít want to control him) but I can control my response to his stupid and insensitive actions. I am not changing my plans. He knows how I feel about the reunion dinner, but he should cancel because itís the right thing to do and not because his wife ďsays soĒ. Heís not a child. I donít have to see him for several days after. I may well go on to see a couple of other friends and stay away for a week. And HE can stay around for DS16.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, November 17th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

strongish.

Yes you are normal. No you are not being whiny. You have been hit with one of the most tramatic things a person can experience. Your H does not understand that or maybe does not want to understand this fact.

So he feels hurt because HE had a affair and you talked to a attorney? Would you have been talking to a lawyer if he had not done this? Point that out to him the next time he is being whiny about his poor hurt feelings.

m3.

I still am up to my ass in gators. I wish I had some of Laura's duck to feed to those gators.

You post about being left out of a important decision by your life partner is something that really was a problem for me. We always discussed things. We were slow about making major decisions because we gave each other plenty of time to have positive & negative input. Always did this. Except for the fact that she apparently wanted a open marriage. She forgot to discuss that little plan with me! (That is what I sometimes call the A. The first time I called it open marriage, she did not know what I was talking about. I had to explain what open marriage meant! )

Hugs to the tribe.


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
m334455
♀ Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, November 17th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dip -- I getcha, except I call my WH's A a shadow marriage. I honestly think a huge part of it for him was that OW helped me do a lot of things WH should have been helping with instead.


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, November 17th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

m3.

Damn. He really was using the A to the limit. I had a co-worker who figured out that his W had a boyfriend because things around the house that she had been wanting him to fix were fixed. He just did not remember fixing them and he knew these things were beyond his Ws ability to take care of. So he started to record phone conversations.

BTW. I was not saying I wanted a open marriage. I was just saying that we were in a open marriage, but I did not know that fact. Of course if I had asked if I could have a girlfriend or two she would have had a shit fit.

Hugs to the tribe.


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 4:06 PM, November 17th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hey all.. just wanted to say hello. Since I'm on a SI diet, I just cannot catch up. I hope everyone is doing well....

Strongish.. Heck I still cry too.. 26 months post dday....


Posts: 2636 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
strongish
♀ Member
Member # 29259
Default  Posted: 4:58 PM, November 17th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone for the reassurance. I see the IC/MC tomorrow and I plan to ask her to tell FWH that his expectations of my "moving forward" are unrealistic. I hate how my opinion alone isn't good enough to convince him, but it is what it is.

Got the letter of engagement today fron the attorney along with an intake form that she would like filled out. It is 4 full pages that is basically a listing of all our assets, debt, retirement accts., etc. It makes my head hurt just to look at it! I may need my friend, Mr. Chardonney to help me out with it! I want to get it done and off to the atty. before FWH comes home Friday night. I want it to be a done deal so that he can't talk me out of it. I'd love to tell you that I'm strong enough to not listen to his BS, but it's just not true. I'm confident I will back down once he starts talking about what a waste of $$ this is, how he always take care of me, etc. I'd like to think that I'm being too doom & gloom and he will surprise me by not making any negative comments and being supportive, but I stopped believing in fairies and the Easter Bunny some time ago. So...the question is do I do the Thanksgiving grocery list or the intake form? Neither task sounds particularly attractive.

Did anyone see the post several days ago in "General" titled "A Word About Adultery" written by Bob Lonsberry? It was very good. I copied and sent to FWH, with no comment so far.


Posts: 490 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Texas
nofun
♀ Member
Member # 24546
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, November 17th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

strongish - I read that post over in general. I'm going to give it to FWH also.

Did your H ever respond to it? I doubt mine would. In fact, he will probably get pissed because I brought the A up, YET AGAIN.


BS (me) 56
WH 61
M 36 yrs
OW - 55 - Howdy Doody Look Alike
3 Awesome Adult C
DD 6/7/09
LTA 12 years.
Confused: D or R???

Posts: 987 | Registered: Jun 2009
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, November 17th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UKgirl: I understand what you are saying that your WH is an adult and should be doing these things on his own. Unfortunately, it seems some people need to be reminded what the boundaries are. You often hear a wife say that she has to watch her spending on a credit card because her husband would be mad? Or a guy saying that to the guys that he better get home or the wife will "kill him"? Telling a WS what your boundaries are is the same thing. If this reunion is a boundary for you, you have to say so.

M3: I agree completely that my options and choices were taken away from me with WH's choices. As Dip says, WH couldn't even pick out paint color or even go clothes shopping without wanting my opinion!!

Dip: Perhaps you need that cat that they were showing on the internet that went after the alligators. They had it on the "home" page of aol yesterday. Thought of you

Strongish, you are NOT whining. You are in pain. We truly understand the depth of that pain and venting here is what will help you and keep you sane.
For me, this site, and especially LTA has kept me alive. There were many times over this past year that I really truly was ready to give up. IC called it "suicidal ideation", not planning suicide, but just giving up and not wanting to go on.
FILL OUT THE FORM!!! This is essential. Do it now, and don't let WH talk you out of it and promise the moon in terms that he will always take care of you. I really admire you that you went ahead to the lawyer with this!! Keep up the good work. Yes, it will be painful, but keep at it.

Hi Tryn!!!!


Posts: 1903 | Registered: Jan 2010
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 3:11 AM, November 18th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

what a waste of $$ this is, how he always take care of me, etc.
It most certainly is NOT. This is an insurance policy. You take out insurance on your house so that IF it gets raised to the ground, you can pick up the pieces and start over again. You do this year after year. Is it a waste of money? No. Itís sensible and itís peace of mind. That is all you are doing. Taking out insurance. Donít let him persuade you otherwise.

Telling a WS what your boundaries are is the same thing. If this reunion is a boundary for you, you have to say so.
<sigh> I have. When he was in the affair (and before), I would ask him something once. If I asked twice, it became nagging. ďDonít nagĒ, heíd say. So it was just easier to ask once and then do it myself. If he didnít make it to a parents evening at school, he couldnít blame me. But he always had his get out with his ďbad memoryĒ since the 98 car crash. Convenient, eh? Part of the projection, I know, but even soÖ. I have mentioned it. More than once. I have said I think itís insensitive. I have said I donít like the idea of ex-gfís being there. Of course, those gfís are NOT in the same category as MOW!!! There is no danger (???!?) He has learned his lesson. ( )He will never hurt me again. Blah, blah, wash-over crap. He hasnít let the organiser know his choices on the menu and she has sent him two reminders. Maybe heís thinking on it. I dunno. I donít care. If thereís one thing I hate, itís being called a nag or a controlling wife. If and when he brings the subject up (other than the arrangements for DS16) I will tell him I donít want to talk about it. At all.

Hi Tryn' (and >>>waving<<<)
I still cry. No big meltdowns or anything like that. Songs, mostly. Bad dreams sometimes. The boys being in NZ and thinking they wouldnít be so far away if they had known what a bastard their father had been and how broken I was. I never used to be a crier. My new normal, I guess.
And this was on TV the other night. Adeleís promotional appearance on Jools Holland. I crumbled. It hurt.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_Zs7XS3XUo

ďSomeone like youĒ

Iíve heard that youíve settled down
And that youíd found a girl and youíre married now
I heard that your dreams came true
Guess she gave you things I didnít give to you
Old friend, why are you so shy
It ainít like you to hold back
Or hide from the light

I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited
But I couldnít stay away, I couldnít fight it
Iíd hoped youíd see my face and
That youíd be reminded that for me
It isnít over

Never mind how Iíd find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you two
Donít forget me, I bet Iíll remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead, yeh

You know how the time flies,
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised in a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited
But I couldnít stay away, I couldnít fight it
I hoped youíd see my face and
That youíd be reminded that for me
It isnít over, yeh

Never mind how Iíd find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you two
Donít forget me, I bet Iíll remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead, yeh

Nothing compares, no worries or cares,
Regrets and mistakes and memories made
Who would have known how bitter sweet
This would taste

Never mind how Iíd find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you two
Donít forget me, I bet Iíll remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead, yeh
Never mind how Iíd find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you two
Donít forget me, I bet Iíll remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead
Yeh, yeah

[This message edited by UKgirl at 3:17 AM, November 18th (Thursday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 5:14 AM, November 18th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all
Just peeking in tonight

DP
Hope all is ok with you

AGNG

My H is a selfish a-hole. He will NEVER get it. NEVER.

He is a WS honey - you have just written the deifinition

Dip

You should have left all the curses in you post. I think some here enjoy things like that.

I have learnt to swear like a sailor since I found out. In the past I was lucky to use the "F" word once a year. Now I can't seem to get through the day without using it at LEAST a half a dozen times. I'm getting to like the feel of some of these words. My favourite word for OW3 has the same number of letters as "duck". It's such a nice angry word for a woman you don't like

I wish I had some of Laura's duck to feed to those gators.

You are welcome to them all . Am I missing something here? I'm just not sure about these "gators"! Someone please explain. I'm aussie and we don't have them!

Of course if I had asked if I could have a girlfriend or two she would have had a shit fit.

Funny how things are different from THEIR point of view! My H sometimes used to make "jokes"about me screwing other men we know. he used to say things like "I think he wants to get into your pants" I didn't really like it but always took this as a joke. Now it's not funny and I am REALLY OFFENDED by his "jokes" - don't know why I was amused before!!! He wouldn't want to try these again. I've only lashed out physically twice since dday but this would be enough to set me off again

trynhard

Hi. Hope you are OK and the diet is working. Glad you checked in.

Strong
Good luck with lining up your ducks!!

Did anyone see the post several days ago in "General" titled "A Word About Adultery"

Just had a look and copied. It's very powerful. Will save and give to H another time. We've had a rough week. Gotta give him a break.

Fun

I have a very uneasy feeling lately.

Is it your gut honey??

my H doesn't cook! I need a man that cooks. I'm tired!!!

ME TOO!!!!

Sorry to those I haven't addressed. I'm not up to much tonight. Hope you are all coping Ok.

Peace to all

Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 6:54 AM, November 18th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Tribe!
Hi Tryn!

Strongish: go thru with it. Ignore whatever he says, don't engage. Short & simple: this is something you said you would do & I relied upon that in having an attorney prepare it. Let him explain that. Don't respond if he starts spewing nonsense and walk away and 180. That should scare the crap out of him.

Fun: I read that article in General. My opinion - this will have zero effect on our husbands. If they don't feel like this by this point, the article isn't going to help. If I gave that to my H and he actually read it - I'm sure his response (after a lot of pushing from me) would only be "Im a piece of shit. I know." I think your H is remorseful - I konw he was showing signs of depression, etc.He is just not the poster child for a remorseful WH. Neither is mine. They are still self-centered rug sweepers at best.I am trying hard to accept that and if I can't, well, then..... decisions need to be made.

Alright, Got to go...
Later y'all.


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, November 18th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Laura.

You don't have gators in aussie land? I guess the crocs ate them.

Let me explain about the gators. Sometime ago I was very busy and not here much. I told the tribe that I was up to my ass in alligators. That is a old saying or phrase about being busy or overworked. Several of the tribe did not know what I meant either. I think some of them thought I was involved with real live alligators! Anyway the gator thing sorta stuck around here. Kind of like your ducks. For some reason the tribe is easily entertained and/or distracted.

I can understand why those jokes are not as funny as they once were. My W did not joke around about things like that. She did accuse me of seeing someone more than one time during her LTA. I guess that is just another "how can they do that?"

Hugs to the tribe.


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, November 18th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For some reason the tribe is easily entertained and/or distracted.

Yes we are.


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 11:54 AM, November 18th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey Strongish - what happened at MC?

My H is verrrry reluctantly going to the new mc tonight. Actually argued about it a bit this morning because I really can't deal with his attitude about it. I'm keeping my expectations low...


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, November 18th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Allgood.

You young girls of the tribe are all so easily entertained.

I'm guessing that your H is reluctant partly because he is feeling like he is going to have to explain the same stuff all over again. A session with a new grand inquisitor! I hope things go better that what you expect. Good luck........

Hugs to the tribe.


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, November 18th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Allgood, a new MC means a new start. So your expectations shouldnít be to have anything discussed in too much detail tonight. See how you get on and if you both feel comfortable with him/her. It often takes a few sessions before you get much feedback. And yes, your H is reluctant because heís got to say his sorry story again. Maybe. Itís not the inquisition, so maybe go for a beer or something after if you can spare the 20-30 mins or so. Or come home and just relax with a glass of wine. Discuss the MC and the session, not so much the reason you are there. Hoping it goes well.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, November 18th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi dip

Now I get it!!!

Peace to the tribe

Laura

[This message edited by Laura28 at 1:52 PM, November 18th (Thursday)]


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
strongish
♀ Member
Member # 29259
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, November 18th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Allgood....the counseling session is just me this afternoon. I need to make sure that she knows that in addition to FWH, I sometimes get the impression from her that I am taking too long to move forward. I may be paranoid but I want to bring it up at least.

No word from FWH on the Bob Lonsberry column. On the other hand he also has not said anything else about my contacting an atty. or the amount of the retainer.

My H sometimes used to make "jokes"about me screwing other men we know. he used to say things like "I think he wants to get into your pants" I didn't really like it but always took this as a joke.
My FWH used to do the same thing and frankly I would shoot the same back at him. I took it as a joke, but he now uses that as an explanation for why he thought that it wouldn't bother me if he had an A. So I reminded him of the time he "joked" about me making my living on a street corner...did that mean that he really thought I should become a hooker? No answer to that one.

I will no longer accept his assertion that he is "surprised" at my reaction to finding out about the A. He says that he was under the impression that I would be okay with it as long as he wasn't flaunting it. Nope...not gonna buy it or listen to that anymore. From now on I will counter that that is bull$hit and I don't want to hear that again.

Of course these periods of strength and self-confidence are fleeting but I'll take what I can get.


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