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User Topic: OC Thread (BS Only)
BMC0415
♀ Member
Member # 14038
Default  Posted: 11:39 PM, January 25th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow Eyes, I am really sorry. If you don't get joint custody, I would really consider going NC unless a 3rd neutral party can supervise or do the exchanges. She really can't keep you away from her baby unless a judge finds you unfit. And that would be if you have a criminal record, child neglect or endangerment. Sad that your attorney seems to already given up. How does you H feel about going NC?

What about her past? Is there something that can be used to show she is unfit? You are his wife, not his girlfriend, unless a judge puts in the order that you can't be around the baby, she can feel that way all she wants. I told the OW "you made me the 3rd parent to your child when you slept with my h and decided to have this child"! It is very similar to a divorce situation, if the parent is married to someone, you can't keep that person away from the child without hard evidence. This is a power play and she is doing everything she can to divide you.

This is something you and your H really need to seriously think about.


Me: 40+ Him: 40+
Married: 20+ years
D-Day: 3/7/07
Children: 24dd,23ds,21dd
10 yr. LTA 3OC w/OW 10,10,14 8/14/12-gave custody of twins to ex 8/16/12-DIVORCED!

Posts: 2910 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Maryland
eyesnowopen
♀ Member
Member # 28406
Default  Posted: 6:13 AM, January 26th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are totally right BMC, she is trying to divide us, thank god H has been true to his word since the day he called her in front of me, way back in april (seems a lifetime ago now) and told her he was recommitting to me and it was over with her.

His attorney isn't totally giving up, just letting us know that it will be harder since she has this other attorney. We both live in small towns and there is a lot of "good old boy" atmosphere type thing going on, everyone knows everyone etc. We talked about it a lot last night and he's going to call the attorney again today to rehash things.

Neither one of us has any kind of record, we are squeaky clean, his exception is the A, mine is this job, which wasn't even a PSO! it pisses me off to think that something may happen because of some rumor that was going around his work. OW might have even started it way back then when they worked together ugh! Ow is honestly not very smart, she shows her ignorance every time we have to meet with her, but her mother is pretty smart and her parents are paying for the attorneys.

Unfortunately now that we have seen OC almost every day for a week, it would be hard to go NC for H and for our COM. I personally could do it, but I don't see it happening :(


She does have an interesting past, she would go to work high, has a history of abusing prescription drugs, had several miscarriages (loose moral behavior since she has never been married) was arrested for hitting a guy etc. the problem is actually proving all of this stuff.

It seems like it is going to get down to he said/she said and whoever can prove the most stuff against the other.

She was blocked on his cell phone from calling and texting but now we have to unblock her so she can have a clear way to get in touch with him. It is so hard to give in and let that happen :( I have to get past the thought that he is right back into the old ways with her and realize that this is all about OC, not them, even though she would love to have it all about them again. He told me last night that in one of the convos he had with her the day she tried to keep OC home after he had his shot, she said, "you are trying to take my baby away, it doesn't have to be like this" of course he didnt say, what did you mean by that? but I am willing to bet that everyone on here that reads that statement, knows exactly what it means :( she's fishing.

We are just going to prepare ourselves for the fight, hoping it doesn't go into the many thousands of dollars they are talking about and hoping it's all for nothing. If we come out of this with just every other weekend, at least H will know he did what he could about it.

My issue now is trying to just step back and let it happen. I have to put faith in him that he will do the right thing about her and the whole situation, while thinking about that Plan B i've had all along since he told me about the A. I don't want to use it, but I do have it if i need it. Of course, Plan B is to leave and let him be in the middle of two custody battles, i highly doubt he would win either one, due to circumstances.

Thank you everyone for your support. I always enjoy reading about how everyone is doing, even the people who don't post much, we all need each other and I know I appreciate each and everyone one of you and the daily battles we all have :(


Me: selfish witch who didn't want three people in our marriage
Him: FT who thought he could have both of us and the OC too

Divorced..drama free...movin on!


Posts: 328 | Registered: Apr 2010
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, January 26th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Eyes))) I'm so sorry. But what I have learned with this whole OW/OC crap is that this is WAR. Some battles will be won, some will be lost. But in the end, I know we will be victorious. Remember how much BETTER (and by a long shot!) you are compared to the OW.

So the old lawyer sucks and we haven't heard back. Fwh is making his own spreadsheet tonite to submit. OW tried to request the whole weekly CS, when OC was ONE DAY old. Whatever. She tried to put down fwh's bonus as 24% gross pay. His bonuses are taxed at 41%, so she gets 24% of what is left over from THAT. So she will be lucky to get half of what she's asking for, and that's if the court decides OC is entitled to that as part of back support. The court order only states the weekly CS amount to be retroactive, not the bonuses. She put in the letter to the dept of revenue, actually her exact words were "he is to directly let me know what his bonus is and I am entitled to that within 30 days". Money grubbing or what?!? She reminds me of a little girl who is trying to wear her momma's shoes, but the shoes are WAY too big. She tried to use legalese and failed miserably, she didn't use spell or grammar check...augh!

(((everyone))) Supposed to get more snow tonite, hoping there's not school tomorrow. Just want to snuggle up in front of the TV!


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, January 27th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Island, you $$$ situation could be worse I suppose. When our state had another system for calculating CS, I had a coworker recently D. CS was 25% automatic for 1st child & something like an additional 11% for 2nd child. Cannot remember exact $$$ amounts, but at some point if you had too many CS orders, you'd have <50% of pay left. It was based on GROSS pay, not NET pay. So anything he paid for benefits (like INS on his COM) didn't count. He was ordered to cover health, but @time there were no credits for that on CS amounts. She must've known someone in payroll at our Contractor's office (who paid him as a pass-through cost & carried his benefits). Anytime he got a raise (3% automatic annually) then she'd take him back-2-court. Somehow she even knew when he got overtime, as she'd take him back for her % of overtime pay also. I'd swear, he was in & out of court every month or two adjusting the amounts she got. He even tried for joint custody, but back then it was more likely the mom have full custody & father have alternate weekend visitation (not like now, when they encourage equal visitation if both parents are okay with that to benefit the child). Now, they also require parenting classes anytime a custody/CS order is put into place. fWH squeezed by on that one, as lawyer convinced judge that they'd had the 'verbal' agreement in-place so long, that he didn't think it necessary. After A#3 (fWH told lawyer about it, as he was sure that's why OW wasn't signing the agreed custody order & we had to pay to get her served), fWH's lawyer added the following to the parenting plan:

The mother and father will behave with each other and each child so as to provide a loving, stable, consistent and nurturing relationship with the child. They will not speak badly of each other or the members of the family of the other parent. They will encourage each child to continue to love the other parent and be comfortable in both families
.

That wording never existed until fWH & OW had their EA/PA#3. Not sure if it were to make me or BH#2 behave or both OW&fWH (or even the families).

[This message edited by repeatBS326 at 12:02 PM, January 27th (Thursday)]


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
eyesnowopen
♀ Member
Member # 28406
Default  Posted: 4:04 PM, January 27th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So here we go in the morning for another court hearing. I am feeling a bit better about it, I just want to see what she thinks she has on me and how she thinks she will be able to keep me out of OC's life, when i live in the same house as my H. I think it's all a plot to separate the two of us, i really do. Like trying to make him choose between me and COM and her and OC. If she was smart enough she would realize he made that choice nine months ago and back off. But we all know OW have issues about that lol.

Island, you are right, this is WAR and I'm going to be the winner, even if we don't have OC half the time. I still have a changed H, he's no where near the loser/cheater he was before. Plus I still have my family and my SI family. So I'm going to be a winner, either way. I will post later on to let you all know what happened, please cross a few fingers for us :)


Me: selfish witch who didn't want three people in our marriage
Him: FT who thought he could have both of us and the OC too

Divorced..drama free...movin on!


Posts: 328 | Registered: Apr 2010
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, January 27th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Island, you are right, this is WAR and I'm going to be the winner, even if we don't have OC half the time. I still have a changed H, he's no where near the loser/cheater he was before. Plus I still have my family and my SI family. So I'm going to be a winner, either way. I will post later on to let you all know what happened, please cross a few fingers for us :)

Hun I could've wrote this myself (well, minus the OC being with us)! I told my IC the other day what the hell is wrong with me? Here I am pissed that OW gets to stay home...when she is a loser. She will NEVER be successful, never have the family she wants (karma will take care of that ), even with her CS I alone make over 3X as much as that payment annually. She has no morals, no class, she can't even hold a candle to me. My fwh stepped out for a damn chicken nugget when he had a 5 course gourmet dinner at home.

I hope everything goes well for you eyes! (((eyes))) I'll be hanging around a little bit later, hope you get good news, or at least a little victory.


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, January 27th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, and I KNOW that OW would try her damnest to have me out of OC's life, it's 1 of the reasons why fwh wanted NC. He fears she would call DSS for no reason but to either split us up or create havoc in our home. But there's nothing wrong with me; I'm an educator, I'm CORI checked every year for my summer job, and I am a mandated reporter!


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
want2bok
♀ Member
Member # 19913
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, January 27th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs to all of you! Seems like it has been a tough time for so many lately. I don't post much, but I do read to keep up with everyone.

((Eyes)) it seems that most OW have a goal to split it up. The few days after D-day she kept calling my H and leaving messages about how he didn't have to stay with me and that there was no way that I could keep him from COM (he was worried that I'd be a witch about visitation if we D'd). Blah Blah!

H and I were talking the other night how neither of us honestly thought we'd make it through this together, but 4 years later I am happy to say that we have a great marriage (most of the time ) It has now been 4 years since D-day - crazy!

The only bad thing lately is that CS was increased - more than doubled. I think it is way too high, but she is paying tons for daycare (which I think is fabricated, but I can't prove it). She told H that she is a new relationship and that she may be moving to a different house in same city (I'm guessing with her BF). I honestly wish her well and hope she finds someone to be a wonderful dad to both of her kids. In the last month or so she removed me from her IM list (Yea - I don't have to see her name everytime my email is up) and block H and I on FB. I only figured that out because I did a friend finder and she would usually come up because I had her email address in my contact list. But this time she didn't so I poked around a bit and figured she blocked us. That or deleted her account but I doubt it. No biggie to me - not like I looked for her anyway. :) Just found it funny!

In the past I had been cordial with her, but since we lost our D at 26 weeks I just can't be nice to her or deal with her at all. As far as I know, she still doesn't know what we've been through. We've discussed telling her so that maybe she would be understanding, but I'm not going to worry about it at this point. Don't see any reason to as I don't have much contact with her anymore.

I am thinking of all of you ladies all of the time and hope that we can all find peace eventually.


BS - me 32
WS - him 32
3 beautiful girls - 11, 9, 7 and angel baby 7/9/10
D-Day 1/07 - 1+ yr PA
OW 35
OC born 12/06
R since 2/07 and going well

Posts: 135 | Registered: Jun 2008
disrespected666
♀ Member
Member # 30411
Default  Posted: 11:47 PM, January 27th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The OW in our lives is determined that all decisions about this child be between her and my husband. She fails to remember that she fucked a married man and that, by definition, involved a third party. I personally would have rather kept it a twosome but she felt it necessary to insert herself into a marriage of two, not me. She is the reason there are three people involved her. She is the invader, not me. So she gets what she asked for...a very pissed off wife. Is this really such a surprise? I was ready to throw him out but he is the one who wanted to stay.

Posts: 78 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: hell
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, January 28th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The OW in our sitch threatened to out everything to me, gleefully hoping I would leave. Not only was she pissed he told me 1st, she was extra pissed that had our daughter (judged by her constant grunts and sighs in court). Makes you wonder what the hell they expected...and to say we can't have anything to do with OC...next time find a man that actually wants you vs. Just a screw....


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
eyesnowopen
♀ Member
Member # 28406
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, January 28th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, want2bok, thank you for posting today! I'm glad you are four years out and okay with things. I'm just sorry they doubled the CS, that sucks :(

disrespected, i found out today that yes, all decisions will be made between them. I am out of it, completely. I can be there at drop offs and pick ups and can be here when OC is here, but all decisions and communications go through OW and H. I knew it would come to this but I don't have to like it :(

So today we had some small victories but some not so good ones too. Here's where the past comes back to haunt us. OW had pictures of all the text messages she thought would get H in trouble. They were blown up to 4x6 and the stack was about two inches high. Of course our attorney didn't care about those, there were only three questionable ones (about OC) one was about me saying in the beginning of R that all contact had to go through me. Well, of course, he had to unblock her from his cell phone so she could text him and call him today. That pissed me off. But as he and I kept talking about, he's not the same person he was when he was in the affair with her. He's a different person and he doesn't have to listen to all her woes and bitching about stuff. He can just cut her off, if it is not about OC. I was told this morning by our attorney that the other attorney would get me on the stand and make me out to be the spawn of satan if we had to have a hearing about the case. Thank goodness we didn't have to have one but i would have been fine if we did. I can take a lawyer breathing down my neck cause i have never done anything that could come back on me like they were thinking she would try to do.

Anyway, since OC is so young, we settled for three days a week the first week for four hours a day and four days a week the second week, four hours a day. Plus he is paying back child support and current as well. It's not a bad deal because our attorney is setting her up for three, four, four, three with overnights soon, hopefully this next time we go back in sixty days. That way she can't say he hasn't gotten to know us plus a lot of babies start on a little solid food like cereal at four months and he will be five months by then. So not so dependent on her by then. We dont know the calculation for CS yet, they did say they would calculate hers a little above minimum wage since she doesn't work.

I'm torn now, I dont want to see this woman that many times a week, six one week and eight the next week. but at least i know she dont want to see me either plus she isn't getting total access to my H if I am going with him to pick up OC.

as usual, this is a hard hard thing to go through. I wish we all just didn't have to deal with all of this mess :(


Me: selfish witch who didn't want three people in our marriage
Him: FT who thought he could have both of us and the OC too

Divorced..drama free...movin on!


Posts: 328 | Registered: Apr 2010
disrespected666
♀ Member
Member # 30411
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, January 28th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All communication might have to be between them but I would still make requirements of my husband such as speaking to her with me in the room, delaying decisions until he speaks with me, not going into her house, restricting all communication to only the OC, etc. My husband allowed this person into our lives, he has the juggling act to make me feel a priority and the most important.

Posts: 78 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: hell
disrespected666
♀ Member
Member # 30411
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, January 28th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so glad we've moved so far away because I won't have to see her nauseating face very often.

[This message edited by disrespected666 at 5:41 PM, September 16th (Friday)]


Posts: 78 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: hell
eyesnowopen
♀ Member
Member # 28406
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, January 28th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I totally see where you are coming from, disrespected. I think it comes down to your H, is he willing to do all of that? if so, that is great. It can work if they are willing to do what is right and never, ever put OW or OC before you or your COM. I'm just irritated today because it was pointed out to me that she didn't have a child with me, she had one with him, so I have to stay out of it. And I know she is still in love with him, i see it every time she looks at him, so that pisses me off even more. And now, I get to see that six to eight times a week for two months.

Luckily, we have established the boundaries lines and talked about this endlessly. Trying to make sure she doesn't get a foothold into our lives again. We will accept OC, but not her. My problem is that now that she has been unblocked on his cell, she can call him anytime she wants or text him whenever she wants. I just have to trust that my H won't do something stupid when she tries something, which I know she will.

Fortunately, right now and hopefully forever, when he looks at her he sees a chunk of his hard earned money floating right out the door which she will probably use to do her nails etc. So, i'm confident it will all work out in the end, I just have to keep from getting depressed in the mean time because it sure seems to be happening :(


Me: selfish witch who didn't want three people in our marriage
Him: FT who thought he could have both of us and the OC too

Divorced..drama free...movin on!


Posts: 328 | Registered: Apr 2010
cantbelieve
♀ Member
Member # 22028
Default  Posted: 3:59 PM, January 28th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm just irritated today because it was pointed out to me that she didn't have a child with me, she had one with him, so I have to stay out of it.

Sorry, that just rubs the the wrong way. She had a child with a married man, your husband. She involved YOU. So, no, you don't have to stay out of it!!!


Me: BS (57)
Him: WS (58)
LTA 4 years with co-worker
DS(26)
DD(23)
DD(19)
Married 28 years
D-day1 5/08
D-day2 11/08
Status: 6 yrs and wondering if I'll ever be truly happy again

Posts: 1044 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: DFW
eyesnowopen
♀ Member
Member # 28406
Default  Posted: 5:21 PM, January 28th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Believe me, cantbelieve, I agree totally. However, OW can get a lot of stuff in court, especially if they are nursing a two month old and hold that against visitation. We are just biding our time, taking what is given to us as visitation until the OC is a little older, then she won't have nursing OC as an excuse to limit time with him.

This whole situation has been very eye opening. If H wasn't a totally different man from the one who had the A, I certainly wouldn't continue on with this marriage and put myself through this with him. But on the bright side, I will be there at every pick up and drop off, holding his hand and showing her that she may have won this battle, but the war has just begun :)


Me: selfish witch who didn't want three people in our marriage
Him: FT who thought he could have both of us and the OC too

Divorced..drama free...movin on!


Posts: 328 | Registered: Apr 2010
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 5:31 PM, January 28th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((eyes))). I couldn't stomach having to see OW that often, so my heart goes out to you. It's funny how they think it's all about them and our H's, thinking they can knock us out of the picture. When they made the decision to get with a married man, it's a "package deal", just like for us to stay with our H's it's a "package deal".

I will agree with seeing a change in H. I can rest assured that my fwh has "earned" his "f". My fwh is still having a hard time believing what he has done to us. He never wanted to be "that man".

I wouldn't be surprised if OW in our sitch tries to pull the same shit. She is batshit livid (and it WILL get worse once she gets the insurance info in the mail and the OC is removed from state aid) that OC is on MY health insurance. I know others say that I shouldn't provide it, but I see it as the 1 thing that's a thorn in her side, it doesn't cost me extra (although seeing OC's name is going to turn my stomach, but at least I know he has health insurance), and I have *some* control over. The courts had NO problem with OC getting off state aid and onto my insurance, even telling OW that my insurance was one of the best insurances in the state and she should be thankful. She wasn't/isn't.

Remember eyes, you are still ahead of the game. You have your pride (it may seem like it, trust me you do), you have your morals, you have your FAMILY. Keep your head up hun...remember we always have here for support during the good and the bad times.

So I am going to type up 3 letters this weekend to OW. I'm going to do it because 1. fwh is taking too long to do it and 2. because he's too pissed off to be rational. I'm an "expert" at passive/aggressive/condescending, so I offered to do it and he can sign it. The first one is for him to claim OC on the taxes since she said she had zero income, therefore cannot file a tax return, therefore cannot claim OC. We know she will say no way, but we are going to send the letter anyway. That's pretty cut and dry. The next one is the health insurance info, I'm going to send that one from ME, because after all it's my insurance that I work for.

It's the last one that I'm debating on. Fwh wants to see what she will do if he requests visitation. But he wants me to state that him and I would visit the child at a neutral area, equal distance from her place and our place. I'm wondering if i should say he wants to visit, leave me out, but i show up with him...or should i put that i would be going with him. We are almost 100% certain that she will say no either way (which is kinda what we want, building a case). He would never go see her anywhere without me there. What do you folks think?

Again eyes, (((eyes))) and it sounds like your H is walking the straight and narrow. We made a family email for OW to correspond with us later in regards to OC (we will unfortunately need to with the health insurance, because again i refuse to give her access and I only will if I'm court ordered to do so...and even then I STILL have access...). This way it's an email that I can check.

I would make it so everytime she has to see you and H, appear to be so happy and in love, talk about making fun family plans, heck include OC but not her. We have some control and we have the ability to make them uncomfortable--nothing illegal with that


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 5:41 PM, January 28th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, and while fwh wants NC, he at least wants to make sure OC is being taken care of properly. He doesn't want an emotional relationship at this time, just wants to know that all this money is going to OC's benefit.


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
BMC0415
♀ Member
Member # 14038
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, January 28th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Eyes)) yes the lawyer is right, legally only she and he can make decisions concerning the OC, however, you still have control. It is not unreasonable for him to speak to her when you are present. As far as seeing her that much, I had to before I got custody of OC and I treated it like a business deal, I showed no emotions to her. I was a matter of fact and that was it. Later if I wanted to scream or cry, I did it at home, I did not let her see that she was hurting me an any way. Keep the exchanges short and to the point.

Document the condition of the OC, dirty, not appropiately dressed, etc. She thinks that she has won, but what she fails to understand that by legally connecting your H to the OC, she has lost some of her legal rights, one being that she really can't keep you away from OC.

Hang in there everyone that is newly going thru this. It is a difficult road no matter whether you have C or NC, but all it not hopeless, as long as you and your H act like a united front, you still have some power. Hugs to everyone.

[This message edited by BMC0415 at 8:50 PM, January 28th (Friday)]


Me: 40+ Him: 40+
Married: 20+ years
D-Day: 3/7/07
Children: 24dd,23ds,21dd
10 yr. LTA 3OC w/OW 10,10,14 8/14/12-gave custody of twins to ex 8/16/12-DIVORCED!

Posts: 2910 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Maryland
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 6:58 AM, January 29th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Document the condition of the OC, dirty, not appropiately dressed, etc. She thinks that she has won, but what she fails to understand that by legally connecting your H to the OC, she has lost some of her legal rights, one being that she really can't keep you away from OC.

I agree. Plus, at least from I noticed, is that they cannot stand to lose "power". For this OW its all about a power trip. Ohhh I cannot WAIT to knock her down a peg or 2 when she gets the insurance info.

I hope everyone has a nice weekend. I'm hoping to just relax and kick back today!


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

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