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User Topic: OC Thread (BS Only)
stretch13
♀ Member
Member # 26894
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, February 3rd (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

awe tryingtosmile. i always hate to see someone new land in this dump...but you landed on the only soft place in the whole yard.

welcome. i'm sorry. there are so many wonderful people here to help you through this. it's a long road but it's survivable. this place will make your path so much more clear...though clarity is definitely not plentiful in the process.

someone else will jump in, i know, with a great list of first things to do. i just wanted to offer my support and let you know you are not alone, your story is nothing to be ashamed of, and you are in the right place for all the wrong reasons.


http://www.facebook.com/hardheadpress
http://www.amazon.com/Eli-Ely-Ezekiel-Tyrus/dp/0986042900/

http://hardheadpress.com/

life must be rich and full of loving--it's no good otherwise, no good at all, for anyone - j. kerouac


Posts: 3929 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: east coast
stretch13
♀ Member
Member # 26894
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, February 3rd (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i'm bumping this up for the newbie - trying to get her some attention from someone less jaded than me!!!


i read your profile and i'm devastated for you - i had my first dd, 10 months old, when i found out she had a half sister only 8 months younger. it's so hard when you are supposed to be so happy with your new littlebean.

my WH and i are S, he and OW/OC are not in contact, OC probably isn't even in the US...so my advice leans toward the "cut and run" direction, even though my WH would really like me to try R. i'm only close with him or considered a thing because we have a tiny DD and he's trying so hard.

that said, you can't do much before the baby is born except lawyer-up. they'll give you better advice than me, but basically:

1) Lawyer-up

2) Laywer-up

3) when it's born, you MUST do DNA testing.

4) until DNA testing is done, it's my understanding that WH shouldn't give her a penny (but should likely keep some savings aside for eventual back payments)

5) even if you plan on R'ing with your WH right now, you need to file for CS for your current children. in most states, if OW files for CS before you (like if you left later down the road), she would get dibs on his money. Whoever files first gets most, no matter that it's an OC vs COM.

mostly, get support for yourself, get a counselor for you. if you are going to R, you need to set serious rules for your WH...even if he hates her now, 18 years is a long time to remember why they "bonded" in the first place. you need to know he's serious and upfront with you...they hardly ever are, even during their most sincere "apologies." be careful with your heart and your little ones right now.

best of luck, someone will give you better advice here than me.


http://www.facebook.com/hardheadpress
http://www.amazon.com/Eli-Ely-Ezekiel-Tyrus/dp/0986042900/

http://hardheadpress.com/

life must be rich and full of loving--it's no good otherwise, no good at all, for anyone - j. kerouac


Posts: 3929 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: east coast
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, February 3rd (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ditto, what stretch said. BMC always posts link to the handbook for OC issues.


If you R, must set good boundaries, do everything legal so you & fWH don't feel obligated to kiss OW's butt for visitation & so OW knows this is a business deal, OW's not part of your family (only OC can be that, if desired). No sense in being too friendly w/OW...she's standing behind you, ready to stab u in the back. Either for LOVE of fWH, or for the CS $$$ she feels entitled to.

Sorry you are here...pray that the DNA isn't positive, if she isn't in hiding.

Kick fWH's a$$, if you want to. Just kiddin'.

Certainly seek IC, if it's affordable...really makes a world of different.

post here so we can give u 2x4s, or lead you to some alternate possibilities you might not have thought of.

and of course, we're here w/hugs too. Some other parts of SI are black&white (if OW has OC, leave-leave-leave)....it's not always so easy to choose when love, COM, finances, & health might come into play in your decicions.


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
BMC0415
♀ Member
Member # 14038
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, February 3rd (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome trying. The ladies are correct and gave some great advice. One thing I really want to point out to you is you are not alone. We are all going thru this, in different stages, please lean on us for support, it is a rocky road ahead.

Thank repeat! If you look back on Pg. 3 of this thread, you will find the OC handbook that I like to post for new members and all of us really as some good points and actions to take. First thing, DNA test. Lawyer up and then have contact go thru lawyer until after birth and DNA test.

You will make it thru this. ((Hugs))


Me: 40+ Him: 40+
Married: 20+ years
D-Day: 3/7/07
Children: 24dd,23ds,21dd
10 yr. LTA 3OC w/OW 10,10,14 8/14/12-gave custody of twins to ex 8/16/12-DIVORCED!

Posts: 2910 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Maryland
tryingtosmile
♀ Member
Member # 30979
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, February 3rd (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all. We are trying R. I love him and even though he fucked up HUGE I know he loves me. We have been through some savage custody battles over my 15yr old step son so we are all too aware of doing everything through the legal system. (we have had custody since he was 6. she has nothing). I just don't know if I'm strong enough to do it again. He has told her that he wants nothing to do with her and baby. She keeps her distance for a while then will try to engage him in converstion about the baby. He tells her that she made this choice for him and that he is not interested in discussing it with her.
She was fired a few weeks ago. (yesss!) We haven't heard anything from her since then... but its coming. She wants to be with him and was hoping that telling me would get me out of the picture. She is young and thought a baby would make him love her.
I guess right now I don't feel like I want to have this OC in our lives. It's a girl so I feel that makes it harder since we have boys and I wasn't able to give him that. I'm just so sad. Sorry if i'm rambling


B/S Me 37
W/S Him 37
OW Former Coworker OC born 5/11
4 DS 18,17,11,6 months

Posts: 270 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: TX
want2bok
♀ Member
Member # 19913
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, February 3rd (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs trying. These ladies are wonderful! We just hit 4 years since D-day. We are mostly NC with OW/OC. The CS hurts - I'm not gonna lie, but we as a couple are doing very well. The only other thing that I haven't seen touched on by anyone that I want to mention is that you and your H need to present yourself as a united front to OW when she comes calling. He can't see OC behind your back or talk to the OW without being honest with you about it. When my H was trying to have C with OC, he would always tell OW, "let me talk to my wife about it and I'll get back to you" on just about everything. It made her realize that if he was going to be a part of OC's life, that meant I would be as well.

We will be here for you!


BS - me 32
WS - him 32
3 beautiful girls - 11, 9, 7 and angel baby 7/9/10
D-Day 1/07 - 1+ yr PA
OW 35
OC born 12/06
R since 2/07 and going well

Posts: 135 | Registered: Jun 2008
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, February 3rd (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I might not get online tomorrow to read SI, so hope everyone has good weekend (enjoy the SuperBowl).

Wish us luck Monday. OC has 1st PCP appt at our pediatrician (been 2 years since she saw a real PCP). Afraid she might have diabetes or pre-diabetes & possibly need referal to ENT specialist (she's failed 2 hearing tests @school on one ear - when OC was smoked around a lot as child, she kept infection which might've permanently damaged hearing). Want to get her in for allergist appt also, if PCP agrees with us.

Unfortunately, one of us will have to call OW after the appt. I prefer we use my office phone/conference call feature for a 3-way call, so I can relay the medical info incase fWH forgets and she won't be getting off-subject, flirting w/fWH. I hope OW doesn't want to go with us to appointment (maybe I won't tell her when it is)! Yuck! OC's new PCP is her former Sunday school teacher at our old church (really trust her, so know she'll be a great PCP). How awkward would that be? I was her volunteer assistant SS teacher, before I decided to go to another church & I left on very good terms w/her from what I can tell.

I'll try & post Monday or Tuesday about how the appt & OW contact goes. We're obligated by court order to tell OW about the appt, so no getting out of it.

Wish we could post sound clips. When fWH & OW were going through all the hoopla about OW not signing the papers like she promised, we kept a recorder on one phone. OW was boo-hooing about "how hard all this is for her," I'm assuming the crawling back to BH#2 (begging him to take her back) and the NC w/fWH after the breakup after A#3 (one day prior to D-day#3). How she was glad that OC had fWH & that she was a fatherless child & blahblahblah (KISA fishing much?). I'm a fatherless child & you don't see me falling in-love & bedding another woman's husband, with intention of breaking up their marriage and agreeing w/fWH to conceive a love-child!!! Such nonsense...wish you could hear all the mind games coming out of her mouth. Think this was the first time OW realized that this D-day was different & I meant business about NC w/OW.

Well, anyway. It serves no purpose to be 'just friends' with OW....be polite around OC during pickups/dropoffs or @social events if you MUST speak to OW, but neither of you should go above & beyond any niceness more than you would of someone attempting a hostile takeover of your company! And, smile pretty for the judge & look smokin' hot everytime OW sees you.


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
tryingtosmile
♀ Member
Member # 30979
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, February 3rd (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will need all of you I'm sure. Thank you for the advice. United front will put her in place quick I'm sure. She wasn't very happy with me when she called to tell me she was pregnant. I posted in the just found out under Am I stupid. You can see what I told her. She hasn't called me back since

@ Repeat I always look smokin hot when she sees me lol. My WH told me that one time I came in to their work and she had never seen me. Everyone was telling him how pretty I was and she got so upset she stomped off. lol I love it.

[This message edited by tryingtosmile at 4:09 PM, February 3rd (Thursday)]


B/S Me 37
W/S Him 37
OW Former Coworker OC born 5/11
4 DS 18,17,11,6 months

Posts: 270 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: TX
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, February 3rd (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hello (((trying)))! Sorry you are here, but out of everywhere to be, this is the best spot. The ladies here are amazing, and have seriously helped to ground me when I have needed it! Please feel free to send a message if you need to.

Repeat I hope everything goes well. I had a student who recently graduated who had diabetes, and it was quite difficult for her to be around everyone else who didn't eat healthy. Oh and she had asthma, most likely caused by her mom smoking 2 packs a day.

My fwh talked with his social worker from CS, and OW will be hauling fwh to court for the arrears since his spreadsheet doesn't match hers. Also, found out the CS dept doesn't handle the bonus money, and rec. We pay her direct! Wtf?! No way! Fwh is concerned that she will take the money and then claim she didn't get it, its why he wanted everything to go thru the state cs office. So when he goes to court he will get it straightened out. Right now OW's % is in a savings acct, and we will keep whatever interest collects :) he doesn't want to send a check so she has his account #, but he doesn't want to send a money order that cannot be traced. Annoying.

I told fwh I'm tired of him playing defense, and that we need to take offense. We are going to chat this weekend. Good thing about the arrears is that it HAS to go to court before any action is taken, so that's good. So she can't claim something insane without it going to court first and a judge puts in an order for it. But we will just pay it all off lump sum. Turns out there is no record of OW taking out cash welfare benefits, which means she will get the lump sum $, all of it. But we will still call the food stamp office anyway and let them know. Also, this means she def had another way of getting $, and we need to get to the bottom of it. Because it appears she has some type of unreported income, and fwh really thinks she may be dealing drugs or working under the table.

Again, you are safe here (((trying))) and whether you go C or NC, you will not be judged here.


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
feeling bi polar
♀ Member
Member # 31086
Default  Posted: 1:28 AM, February 4th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I need some advice. WS wants to R but states that he can't have NC with A because of visitation with OC. I don't trust either of then as far as I could throw them. I want them to have a neutral pick up and drop off point but OW refuses. This seems to be a huge point of contention for me. I also do not want OW anywhere near my home. She showed up therelast week to pick up OC while I was away. I am upset about that but glas that WS did not allow her into my home. Any suggestions about how to deal with OW and visitation with OC.


In three words I can sum up everything Iíve learned about life ó It goes on. óRobert Frost

Posts: 196 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: VA
tryingtosmile
♀ Member
Member # 30979
Default  Posted: 6:17 AM, February 4th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Feeling, when my WH and I first started dating my step son's mother had a lot of control and used to play a lot of games with visitation and where he could see him,when, and with who. They didn't have a parenting plan set up through the courts. When we did go to set up visitation Everything changed. You should go get a parenting plan set up. State in it where the pick up will be. It can be @ a McDonald's parking lot halfway between your homes. Be very specific and then follow it. If she doesn't then take her back to court. She will lose a lot of power when you do this you can also put it the plan that you will be picking up. Lol. She won't be able to mess with you as much. Good luck.xoxo


B/S Me 37
W/S Him 37
OW Former Coworker OC born 5/11
4 DS 18,17,11,6 months

Posts: 270 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: TX
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 7:33 AM, February 4th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Island,

One suggestion about paying the bonus $. When I didn't want OW to have our bank account #s, I used postal money orders (which do have a tracking # on them through the postal service - not sure how they track if it's lost or something). Since we continued to pay OW directly (verbal instead of legal agreement), I set up a new vendor on our bank's bill-pay service. About 1 week b4 1st of month, I had it set up to automatically send OW a check (even if it's not electronic payments, our bank does paper checks & guarantees delivery by certain date). Once, OW's check didn't get there on-time & the bank tracked it for me. Instead of using her home mail, she was using the post office & I suppose she hadn't paid her box fee as they returned her mail as 'no occupant'....like there could be no occupant at a PO box unless they hadn't paid?

Anyway. Autopay through bank or postal money order seemed to give me more comfort. I always made copy of the money order b4 we gave it to her, incase she claimed back CS if she ever sued for it & we'd have proof. If using the bank's system of billpay (or even your billpay system through a credit card), they would be able to track if it had been cashed....if she claimed she didn't get it, the bank could start the process of a fraud investigation & reissue her a new check if it indeed was stolen or something from her mailbox. If you send money order, you could have it sent through mail with signature receipt or spend the extra on FedEX letter pack w/signature.


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, February 4th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Feeling Bipolar,

When fWH finally got everything through the courts (OC was already 8 & they'd had verbal agreement about CS/visitation all her life), I'd gotten tired of driving 20 minutes to get OC (like I'd done when I was the sole pickup). During A#3, fWH & OW had done pickups @local park so they could sit & flirt/hug (5min from both homes).

A condition of R#3 w/fWH this time was that he be NC w/OW as much as-possible. fWH & OW somehow didn't want me around BH#2 (he & I'd done majority of PU/DO's before fWH's 3rd A - since fWH got hurt). Anyway, we stipulated the place of pickup (by name & location description), that OW must be at every pickup/dropoff unless pre-arranged 24-hours in advance & needed 24-hr notice of change of location also. Seems to work well for us. Now that OC does alternating weeks, I don't have to see OW @all unless we need to exchange OC on a Monday (holiday or OC illness or no-school). I'll see her more during summer months (every Monday), but that's much better than the daily (M-Th) we'd been doing b4.


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
stretch13
♀ Member
Member # 26894
Default  Posted: 7:52 AM, February 4th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

feelingBP - if your WH wants R, then he doesn't get to say and she doesn't get to say. the neutral spot with you doing pick ups and drop offs is a good start, and also the "united front" we talk about here in this forum is important - where WH NEVER FOR ANY REASON sees OW alone, that he doesn't agree to parent OC alone and keep in the dark about anything. you should handle or at least see every piece of correspondence - phone, email or text. she's the one who got knocked up by a married guy - she gets both of you out of the deal. sorry for her, but that's life. (ok, i'n not sorry for her at all, though i'm sure she is). if WH balks at any of this, he needs to get over it or he's not interested in real R.


http://www.facebook.com/hardheadpress
http://www.amazon.com/Eli-Ely-Ezekiel-Tyrus/dp/0986042900/

http://hardheadpress.com/

life must be rich and full of loving--it's no good otherwise, no good at all, for anyone - j. kerouac


Posts: 3929 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: east coast
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, February 4th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I do need to mention during R#3, if OW had not decided to R w/BH#2...we might've had more difficulty making me the pickup/dropoff person. With OW's bad behavior @ballgames, I'm not sure how she'd have made a stink if BH#2 wasn't ALSO insisting as part of their R, that fWH/OW go NC. OW was actually the one who called to make me the pickup person again, as she&OC were moving back home to BH#2&tiny-tot (OC's sister). BH#2 had actually kicked OW&OC out of their marital home & made OW leave COM there...barely allowing her to see COM @all. All of OW&OC's belongings were moved into a storage unit & OC came to stay w/us for a while (as the home OW was staying in was already overcrowded by 2 adults/1teen/2children). When OW had A#1 w/fWH, she had left BH#1 (basically single but D wasn't final until after D-day#1 for me), when she had A#2 w/fWH, she was single, but the game changed for her when she herself had COM & wasn't even S from BH#2 during A#3 w/fWH. OW had not realized all the turmoil that having As has on M & COM. fWH was always the one having to deal with irrational-behaving BS, arguements, & everything else that goes along w/R. She never really had to R w/anyone b4 after her As.

Honestly, I don't really have complete control over what fWH does concerning OW, but I hope that his seemingly honest & heartfelt begging & pleading for R (and declaring undying love) really meant something. I still don't think I can convince fWH that OW is a bad person, but I do think he realizes how completely idiotic she behaved toward me (disrespected me in public @ballgames).

++++++++++

I just thought of a little white lie, you guys could use if OW is behaving badly & brushing up against fWH during pickups of OC. Make fWH stay in-car and BS get out of car to get OC out of OW's vehicle. You could tell OW that fWH is sick & does not want OC to get ill, but that YOU will be more than happy to take care of OC during it's daily visit....would that work? Or would OW just shut the door & speed off? Or, you could put fWH in a huge parka with toboggan on so her womanly ways/touching aren't even noticed by fWH!


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 3:39 PM, February 4th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Repeat for the tip! We are actually hoping there is a way we can use that to our advantage; by asking the courts if the $ from the bonus checks go towards a 529 plan or a trust/CD/something ONLY for the OC, something the OW cannot touch. AT least that way we are guaranteed that the $ will 100% go to the OC and not for OW's nails. So we are going to try that first before we send anything. But if for some reason we have to pay her direct, then we will look into a postal money order.

Also, found out OC was added to my insurance TODAY! This means the card is on it's way, and I can send my letter! WHY am I excited over this?!? LOL! Ok, so should I have fwh send her a text that the insurance card is on it's way, or should we just SURPRISE her when it comes in the mail. I'm afraid that even if we send it certified she will sign for it and then toss it in the trash. Guess she could do that either way, huh? But I KNOW she will be LIVID that we were able to add the OC on anyway! Remember she refused to give us the info we needed and my HR was able to add OC on anyway! She's probably thinking ha ha ha we couldn't add OC but HA HA HA we DID! Ohhh and I can't WAIT to call the state aid office and let them know they can take him off of state health care LOL! Repeat, I have a "cadillac plan" and even if the kid is sickly we are all set. I just want her to see SHE DOES NOT HAVE ALL THE POWER SHE THINKS SHE DOES. That's the ONLY reason I have for "glee" although seeing the kid's name between my son and my daughter (he's younger than my son but older than my daughter) did make me puke in my mouth a little . ONce I get the card in the mail, the battle is on. So, should fwh notify her ahead of time or what?!?

(((feelingbipolar))) We are NC so I dont have too much to offer other than hugs. We did discuss visitation 1X a month to ensure OC is ok, it would be with me present at a mutual spot in public halfway between our homes,def not at her house and most def not at ours. We havent proposed this to her yet. But I told fwh it has to be about WE. Like I will be at the next court date, no doubt.


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
tryingtosmile
♀ Member
Member # 30979
Default  Posted: 4:51 PM, February 5th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So today is particularly hard for me. Went to the mall and never noticed how many pregnant woman or babies there are out there. Everywhere I turn I see pink baby clothes and baby booties. I don't even want to go anywhere anymore. I always wanted a girl(the whore is having a girl). We have 3 boys. I am a girly girl with super long nails, I love makeup, and doing my hair. My favorite color is pink and I always wanted a little girl to share all this with. I want to just crawl in bed and cry.I just don't understand why this is happening to me. I don't understand why I'm being punished.


B/S Me 37
W/S Him 37
OW Former Coworker OC born 5/11
4 DS 18,17,11,6 months

Posts: 270 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: TX
stretch13
♀ Member
Member # 26894
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, February 5th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i understand, trying. i can't stand anyone pregnant or any couples with more than one young child (just a reminder that my DD will likely be my only).

this whole day just sucks. so many kinds of triggery things.


http://www.facebook.com/hardheadpress
http://www.amazon.com/Eli-Ely-Ezekiel-Tyrus/dp/0986042900/

http://hardheadpress.com/

life must be rich and full of loving--it's no good otherwise, no good at all, for anyone - j. kerouac


Posts: 3929 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: east coast
Finesse026
♀ Member
Member # 25868
Default  Posted: 6:30 PM, February 5th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Trying...

I know how you feel.

My Stbx and I were trying to get pregnant with our first when he began the A.

Whore got pregnant on purpose...I miscarried. It isn't fair. I feel like I will never have my own kids now....

I know you love your boys...just hold them and keep them close.


(((trying))))


Together: 8.5 years
Married: 5 years
BW: 32
WH: 34
Angel baby: Nov. 09
OC born June '10

filed for D Oct. 15, served Dec 18
D final June 21, 2011


Posts: 1795 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Wonderland
tryingtosmile
♀ Member
Member # 30979
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, February 5th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you so much. Having someone undestand the pain helps. I'm tired of hearing how I can learn to enjoy this child as my own and blah blah blah. I WANTED MY OWN LITTLE GIRL. a little hispanic baby girl like me with hazel eyes like her daddy. I am so blessed to have my handsome boys and I should be happy. I was until this. Until I found out about her having a girl. Thanks again for listening <3


B/S Me 37
W/S Him 37
OW Former Coworker OC born 5/11
4 DS 18,17,11,6 months

Posts: 270 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: TX
Topic Posts: 1000
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