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User Topic: OC Thread (BS Only)
Want2help
♀ Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, June 25th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Repeat-
XW isn't in cahhots with Ow "to some extent"- XW is so far up OW's ass it's disgusting. She tried to be the same way with me while we were S and FWH and OW were still in the A. Wanted to be my BFF, talked about how she hated OW, etc. I have read their emails back and forth to one another, where XW told OW she was "ecstatic" OW was pregnant, because it was going to "ruin Want2helps little world".

Yeah, my stepD would live here, but she will never do it. We went through the "I want to move in with you" drama repeatedly with her as a kid (her mom SUCKS) and she decided against it every time, and every time her mother's family attacked her, freaked out on her, were absolutely awful to her for long amounts of time afterward.


The sad part, we just got home from being at a friend's cabin for the weekend, and got mail that stepD is pursuing FWH for CS (she is enrolling in the community college for a one year certificate). We read the paperwork, and it is all filled out by XW, and signed by stepD.

I am sure her other is "making her". I feel bad for stepD, she is now 18 but in so many ways she is still a little girl. I think she is very stunted emotionally.

ETA; Repeat- I really don't know what OW will do in regards to my stepDs. She loves the drama of it all, but I would suspect that her new baby-daddy does not. Plus, they have their own drama, as OW's new baby-daddy had a pregnant fiance when he began sleeping with OW, so I am hoping that drama will keep her busy, and she will phase out stepDs completely.

I also recently found out (through Facebook) that my own FIL has been sending checks to XW for OC! He is well off, and XW always writes him "Oh, (oldest stepDs son) doesn't have shoes, doesn't have $$$ for birthday presents, etc", so he sends her money for the kids, so she must be begging for OC on OW's behalf.

[This message edited by Want2help at 9:12 PM, June 25th (Saturday)]


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
Surprise OC born 3/08 (NC)
6 years into successful R.
"That which can be destroyed by truth should be." -P. C. Hodgell

Posts: 1957 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
Feb162011
♀ Member
Member # 31936
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, June 27th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I haven't been on this thread in a while but today was court day. The termination and adoption have gone through. WH wants to see, and wants me to see, it as a positive thing. Although it will probably make our lives go smoother if we are able to R, I can't imagine that he isn't having any emotions about it. I am so worried that he is going to come back on this decision one day and try to blame me or his feelings that I wouldn't be able to handle it. We have not told family or friends yet and I am not sure how as I feel such shame in turning or backs. I have read so many of your stories and I know in my intellectual part that it is going to make life smoother/simpler but the other part if my brain, the emotional part is having such a hard time.
Anyone else give OC up for adoption? Can you tell me how things went afterwards? Do you still mourn the loss? How did WS handle emotions after?
Although I was never allowed to be around or meet OC, WH was only allowed about 5 minutes at DNA testing, it still feels like a great loss to me for some reason....


BS- Me 37
FWH- Him 40
Married 11 years
4 kids together(some his, some mine)
DDay 02/16/2011
Trying to bring our family back together.

Posts: 94 | Registered: Apr 2011
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 7:21 AM, June 28th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Feb162011,

I know fWH would've been forever worried about OC's life, if he'd allowed OW's boyfriend (now BH#2) to adopt OC. I do feel like a lot of turmoil would've been avoided.

I can tell you, fWH had a short-lived relationship w/friend w/benefits & possible child was result. It plagued him all these years (>20 years) until he finally tracked the woman down & she denied the child was his (saying it was her xH)....but, it was something that kept eating at him all his adult life. I do think someday, that your fWH will maybe not regret his decision, but maybe regret not making some time to bond w/OC before allowing it to be adopted.

And, don't feel badly if you have pain over this. But, it is not your fault or decision to make. All you can do is decide if you want R or D, and deal with that decision. You truly had no control over how this happened & how it played out. If he blames you later in life, then that is something you will have to deal with then (maybe through MC or him in IC).


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 7:41 AM, June 28th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel a little conflicted about something concerning OW/OC. OC told me yesterday, that their homeowners insurance increased $1000/year & they cannot figure out how to pay for it (don't know if it's through the mortgage company or not). OC said they will lose their home, if they cannot come up w/$$$ and have to move back into an apartment (the are not low-rent apartments though - more like $500-600/month w/pool, playground, laundry, etc.) I feel a little sad, that they are in this situation, but also angry at OW for making OC lose her home. OW is faking disability (from what we can guess), but is bringing in about $2900/month (her check, OC's check from fWH's disability, and OC's half-sister). It makes me angry, that OW is fully capable of bringing home $50,000-70,000/year, but instead chooses to be on disability & lose their home. They allowed their 2 cars to be repossessed, then bought a cash-only older family car...but, when OW/OC/OC's sis started getting disability checks, OW went & bought a BRAND NEW car. I keep thinking, in her selfishness, she has lost them the house. OW could've kept sharing vehicle w/BH#2 (and allowed OC&sis to ride schoolbus)...and at least been able to free up more $$$. She gets manicures & blows $$$ on clothing, and spent all that $$$ on furniture & remodeling their almost-new home. She could have saved up for emergencies (like BH#2 potential layoff)....and not let this happen. I feel angry & sad at the same time about this. It is one thing to have layoffs & 'real' illnesses that send finances into a spiral, but it is quite another to waste $$$ on worthless bull when it could save your home. I understand BH#2 wanting OW to be SAHM, but at what price? Where fWH is worth as-much on disability (b/c he could not work even a 40-hr week w/his medical issues), OW could likely work @least 40-hrs/week and makes much more $$$ as a worker than disabled SAHM. Since OW has filed bankruptcy b4 (still has no credit card debt), it is highly unlikely there is anything they can do to save the home. BH#2 was working 3 jobs @one time, to avoid losing everything...but, they live in a M where you share no $$$, mine is mine & yours is yours, and bedamned if you lose the home b/c those were your payments, not mine. I just don't get it...

+++++++++

Anyway, if I am offered a job, I will have to change employers-shedule-commute time etc. on Aug1; otherwise, I will be laid off @end of July. We have been stashing $$$ into savings for a while (we didn't expect me to change careers/jobs until Dec2012, but contract was pulled unexpectedly & given to a competitor)....we don't have much, but if it begins to run out, I will likely take any job (maybe multiple jobs). If jobloss due to layoff, I can draw unemployment for a while...and SocSec did tell us to call them if my income changed, as I can receive a check temporarily b/c I am COM's mother. All these changes...but, I pray that everything works out well.

I am wondering, if OC would choose to live w/us, if she has to move to apartments & share a room w/lilSis. Our home is not large, but she does have her own room & 2 acres of yard to play in. OC is mostly upset b/c they have to give up their little doggie, if they move.


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
Want2help
♀ Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, June 28th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Feb162011-

We recently found out that OW is planning on having her husband-to-be (they are getting married this weekend) adopt OC (who is 3). This is a dream come true for my FWH and I. He still claims to have no inclination towards visitation or any kind of C.
In the beginning I wanted a relationship with OC (just not OW), but OW has used Oc's conception as a weapon in every facet of our life (to affect our work, family, friends, our relationship, you name it). I think FWH really resents OW for it, and OC to some extent also.

I think it the best case scenario for most OCs to be adopted. I think living between two families that they are not a 100% blood relative of (half siblings and stepparents in both households) on top of knowing about their conception must be very hard for them.

Plus, it is in MY child's best interest. OW is a nut, and I do not want my daughter being exposed to her in any form.

You can pm me any time, if you feel like you need someone to talk to. It gets better, I promise.

ETA; OW is not a nut like "OMG, she is so crazy, we need to take OC!" but as in "OMG, she will stop at nothing to hurt me and my daughter, and try to break up my M".

Also, OW is getting married this weekend. Despite the fact that she lives 2 hours in one direction, she is getting married 20 minutes from us (in the opposite direction).

She has the location, time, everything posted on a public wedding site, which just BOILS MY BLOOD because of all she went through to try to "crash" our wedding (we were engaged at the time of A, got married 2 years into R). I had to change dates, etc, etc. She even tracked down the teen daughter of one of my friends (on "myspace") and asked her to listen to her parent's conversations to find out where our wedding was. She told 2 different people she had plans to interrupt the ceremony with OC (a big, dramatic "I had his baby!!!" type of thing) and the other that she "knew if she could just get FWH to speak with her for 5 minutes before the wedding she could get him to not marry Want2help!!" (evidently she thinks her fellatio skills are THAT good).

Anyhow, how fucking dare she. Come allll the way up here, a 15 minute drive from where we will be, to have her wedding.

Now, this is where YOU ladies come in. I really, really, REALLY want to send her an anonymous email that simply says "XXXX Lollipop Ln, at 3 pm, right? See you there!" Even if she doesn't know it's from me (her husband-to-be has a BS too, so she has more than her share of enemies) I really want to plant that bug in her head.

What do you all think?

[This message edited by Want2help at 7:46 PM, June 28th (Tuesday)]


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
Surprise OC born 3/08 (NC)
6 years into successful R.
"That which can be destroyed by truth should be." -P. C. Hodgell

Posts: 1957 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
Feb162011
♀ Member
Member # 31936
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, June 29th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for your responses....I agree life will probably be much smoother for all involved, especially OC. I can't imagine going through the teenage years knowing you were conceived in an adulterous affair. I have been given the advice of making a scrapbook in case one day OC wants to know her bio Dad's family and I think that is a great idea. I am also setting up a college fund to be turned over to her adopted dad at 18. I think doing some of these things will make it seem not so selfish at least for my conscience. We are still paying child support even gave adopted dad a large sum to help w some of the upcoming financial strains he may have. So it is definitely not a $$$ thing with WH.
As a mom of 2 and step mom of 2, it is still just hard to fathom.
I feel for everyone that is having to deal with OW on a regular basis. Hugs to you all!!!!


BS- Me 37
FWH- Him 40
Married 11 years
4 kids together(some his, some mine)
DDay 02/16/2011
Trying to bring our family back together.

Posts: 94 | Registered: Apr 2011
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, June 29th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sick to my stomach. The cOW WON HER ARGUMENT IN COURT. They actually found my husband in contempt and ordered him to pay her an additional $400! I am LIVID. I had to make the check out today because although we got the paperwork today, he's ordered to pay it by July 1st. I sent it along with the insurance stuff. I just cannot believe it. Shit his attorney is LIVID. She thinks the judge didn't understand all the numbers; of course they didnt' get to present the entire case since the judge abruptly stopped the trial once he realized he had just denied the motion previously. So WTF. There is CLEAR bias going on here. I almost called her. I came THIS close. Seriously. I did put "GET.A.JOB" on the check (well, on a post-it on the check). Fuck her. I don't fucking care, she should be thankful that's all I said.

Repeat--I know I should've just braced for the worse. You tried to warn me. I just thought this time would be different.

I'm trying to keep my cool and my sanity right now.


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
#1survivor
♀ New Member
Member # 27296
Default  Posted: 5:33 AM, June 30th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry to hear that IslandWahine....I know how frustrating it is for the OW to win constantly. Hell ours was winning for over 2 years and had everyone convinced she was a sweet innocent person. She used to post on another boarded about OC and OMG she played the victim and everyone even BS fell for that crap. These OW can not own there shit. They are lazy and want our lives but the problem they don't understand is our lives where not up for sale!!!


Taking it one day at a time.

Posts: 41 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Virgina
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 7:34 AM, June 30th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We still don't know how this happened. Even after he told the judge about all the harassment, etc.

We think a few things may have come into play...

1. The judge felt my fwh could just pay it, I mean it's ONLY $395
2. The judge is totally biased.
3. The state is totally biased.
4. The judge is disgusted with my fwh.
5. The judge thinks this is hilarious.
6. The judge has no idea what's going on.

I wish I had put on the post it "here's your money, too bad you're still alone stupid cOW". Augh.

We just realized that she's going to make out like a bandit this summer. So she has gotten $1400 total of my fwh's bonus money, her CS, he gets another bonus in July (so she will probably score another $1000 to $1400 ), plus there is a levy on my fwh's stock account, which he gets his stocks in August (the levy goes to September I think)--that's supposed to go to the arrears which I think there's $5500 left on that (the stocks in August will probably cover about half that). WTF?!? So she's going to have a kick ass summer. But when I get off today I'm calling the welfare fraud office and reporting the bonus $ she got, plus let them know she is getting more in July and most likely getting arrears $$$ too in August. It's the least I can do to help her report her income...At least I can rest knowing that next summer will SUCK for her because she won't have anymore $ to go after.

What I also realized is that my fwh's name is still on my checks (but he is off my account) because I had half a box of checks still, and I did check with the bank they said the only thing that matters is that he is no longer on the account. $10 says she is going to call the CS office and try to put a levy on my account as well thinking he is on it! Well TOO FREAKING BAD it won't work because fwh's SSN is no longer associated with my account, and they will only levy accounts with his SSN attached Trust me he is 100% completely off my account. I did make sure to put "judgment, this is NOT a gift" on the check.

I'm at work so I have to run. Thank you for the consolations, they are much needed right now. I hate not winning, and I hate knowing that the stupid cOW is probably gloating (yet again). That's ok, the karma bus will come. And I still get the last laugh...she may get our money, but she won't have our family!


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 7:35 AM, June 30th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wanted to quickly add that I hope others read this and realize the sheer amounts of $$$ this can cost, especially if you have a case up here in New England!


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, June 30th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Island,

I am shocked! I thought w/the judge stopping the case like he did, that he was going to tear OW a new one for all the bull. All I can think is that judge feels like fWH is rich & he should be allowing OC to have every benefit allowed for being fWH's child. And maybe OW gave him some sob story (when u weren't in court) about fWH tricking her into PA or something...that he was using her & poor baby. I do know the single mother is generally given the benefit of the doubt, 'cause most CS cases are just a man trying to be a deadbeat.

Also, maybe the judge thinks you guys are made of $$$, b/c the change in lawyers. He likely doesn't understand how much $$$ this is taking from your household to fight OW. If I had to guess, I bet OW is the joke of the courthouse (if it's a small county).

How did she wrangle some of his stock stuff? Made him cash out or something?

Just curious, is OC entitled to portions of fWH's 401K or IRA (parts were matching funds by former employer)....I just assumed retirement was untouchable unless fWH passed away [and then only went to beneficiary(ies)].

Conceiving OC has a ripple effect, doesn't it?

Was he going to request visitation change? I really think judges look down on fathers or mothers who go NC w/children (even in OC situations).

Did fWH look rich during trial/hearing? Maybe next time (if he went in all snazzy), make him dress down. Did OW go in all dressed like a poor lady in rags? Was it your fWH's OC who 'might' have undisclosed medical issues? Judges might be privy to more info. about OC that sways their judgements also. Is all the evidence given public record (will be available @courthouse), or is it sealed since it pertains to a minor?

Yes, do please provide a public service & inform the state of OW's bonus $$$. It's your civic duty.


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, June 30th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also, maybe the judge thinks you guys are made of $$$, b/c the change in lawyers.

You know, I totally agreee with this. The judge has seen our financials--I say ours because A. he saw our joint tax return and B. at least this state takes the COM into consideration first, and then calculates minus what the COM would get as CS. Which pissed cOW off to no end because she didn't want my daughter counted since she was born after the OC). On paper we make 6 figures. Of course after taxes, medical insurance, etc. it's WAY less. So yes, I'm thinking the judge may just see that my fwh can "spare" the $395. And honestly it doesn't put us in the poor house, more of an inconvenience plus I feel it sets a precedent for this bitch to think she can always get her way (because frankly she has so far). And he may see that we can afford a lawyer (although my fwh had to borrow the money from family) while cOW has free legal aid.

He likely doesn't understand how much $$$ this is taking from your household to fight OW. If I had to guess, I bet OW is the joke of the courthouse (if it's a small county).

The cOW IS the joke of the courthouse. So is my fwh. I'm thinking the judge doesn't care because cOW has done the oh-whoa-as-me-I'm-poor song and dance.

How did she wrangle some of his stock stuff? Made him cash out or something?

Chances are she complained to the CS office, and they put the levy on the account. When he gets stocks, no matter if they are for a loss or gain, they cash them out and give her the $ that's worth at current market value (up to the arrears, she doesn't get all of it). She was pissed because she wanted that to be a part of the CS, but the judge told her no, OC was not entitled to fwh's stocks. The only reason she would get anything is because of the arrears.

Just curious, is OC entitled to portions of fWH's 401K or IRA (parts were matching funds by former employer)....I just assumed retirement was untouchable unless fWH passed away [and then only went to beneficiary(ies)].

According to the last lawyer, OC gets whatever fwh leaves in his will. Which as of right now is miniscule compared to the COM (and it will sit in trust until the OC is 18 AND no longer lives with the cOW). We do need to update the information, though. But no, his retirement is off limits. Thank goodness.

Conceiving OC has a ripple effect, doesn't it?

Excuse my french, but I told him this better have been the best fuck of his life. He said it was absolutely horrible...way to make it worth, it huh?

Was he going to request visitation change? I really think judges look down on fathers or mothers who go NC w/children (even in OC situations).

Originally he was going to go after joint legal, but since the cOW is contesting it, we are trying to decide if he wants to spend the $$$ for court (again). We are both kinda courted out, so as of right now it's still NC. In this state he actually pays the same if he was NC or if he had the OC 1/3 of the time, so we would have to have the OC almost 50/50 to make any kind of difference in the CS. I DID tell him to enforce visitation, if anything to make the cOW uncomfortable (we would NEVER be mean to the child, he is innocent). We are going to talk about it when he is off this weekend.

Did fWH look rich during trial/hearing? Maybe next time (if he went in all snazzy), make him dress down.

He went in a suit, which I told him not to, to just go in slacks and a nice dress shirt. So yes, he looked snazzy (and a little sexy might I add, I hope it made the cOW mad since she can't have that again LOL).

Did OW go in all dressed like a poor lady in rags?

According to my fwh, she always looks like shit. She made an attempt and wore a jean dress, but according to him still looked like a hot mess. In the past she has gone in jeans and a t-shirt.

Was it your fWH's OC who 'might' have undisclosed medical issues? Judges might be privy to more info. about OC that sways their judgements also. Is all the evidence given public record (will be available @courthouse), or is it sealed since it pertains to a minor?

I'm not sure to be honest. Yes, we suspect something is wrong with the OC because cOW made a big deal of it previously, plus he was born about 6-8 weeks premature. And she was a heavy smoker, a pot smoker, and gosh knows what else smoker....

Yes, do please provide a public service & inform the state of OW's bonus $$$. It's your civic duty.

LOL I'm looking up the phone number RIGHT NOW!

On a lighter note, my fwh found a post from cOW on a law website asking about the bonus stuff! So I got her username, put in google search. Looks like she is pimping out the OC (I still can't look at his picture, I didn't click on any links that had it on there) on various websites for photo contests. She was also asking law questions about her condo--looks like she had a major leak back in May and was asking about SUING for damages! this bitch is trying to get money wherever she can, huh?!? At least her shit got wet, that made me feel good

I also found her username on a dating site--but it looks like she quickly set something up but didn't follow thru with it. Under "What are you looking for" she put "A MAN". This was when she was supposably 35...she's 38 now. So there you go, she was on the prowl then for her meal ticket. Freaking pathetic.

I told my fwh let's jsut move on from this. Sure this sucks he had to fork over the $, but we have each other, we have our FAMILY, and that.bitch.has.SHIT. Oh wait, also I sent the check for the judgment plus the insurance cards, she wasn't home today (probably spending her new money--I had tracking plus sig confirmation on the letter) so the post office left a notice. This cOW better not even try to call contempt/the law on my husband for non-payment if her dumbass doesn't go pick up that envelope...if she doesn't by tomorrow I am going to tell her to go get her damn money.

Thank you everyone...trust me we are still in shock at how the system is playing my fwh.


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
Want2help
♀ Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 12:17 AM, July 1st (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Island, I am so sorry. Utter bullshit.


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
Surprise OC born 3/08 (NC)
6 years into successful R.
"That which can be destroyed by truth should be." -P. C. Hodgell

Posts: 1957 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
disrespected666
♀ Member
Member # 30411
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, July 1st (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Results of the paternity test are pending finally.

God help me if this turns out to be WH's. I pray constantly it' s not and imagine life without OW in our lives.

[This message edited by disrespected666 at 11:18 AM, September 17th (Saturday)]


Posts: 78 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: hell
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, July 1st (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you ever stop waking up thinking, "I can't believe this happened to me?"


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2071 | Registered: Feb 2010
LisaBrandNew
♀ Member
Member # 30522
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, July 1st (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whalers - I'm am really looking forward to the day I don't feel sick to my stomach, an ache in my heart. Filed an injunction yesterday to prevent the OTeenager from having contact with my sons. Very disturbed girl. She is 7 months pregnant, so there are lots of legal issues ahead - paternity testing before my boys are introduced to a new half-sibling, finishing the divorce, praying the injunction is approved. I guess we find out what we are made of now, don't we?


Finally living the life I was meant to live.

Posts: 806 | Registered: Dec 2010
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, July 1st (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((lisabrandnew))) It's one of my fears--my children finding out about the OC from someone other than myself and fwh. We totally plan for them to find out when they are old enough to understand, in a family therapy session.

The legal-ness of everything is mind-boggling. Plus if you are dealing with a manipulative OW and if you live in a state like mine where they HATE men/NCPs...it takes a mental toll.

Writing out the check yesterday to the cOW hurt. But it's just $. She still has to look at her lonely ass everyday. She got the check, I didn't have to text or anything--the post office redelivered it. Damn and good at the same time. So far she hasn't ran to the bank to cash it yet.

I plan on NOW enjoying my weekend. I was a little afraid to because I ditn't want to have to worry about her not getting the shit over my head. What she does now is...well whatever she does now. I know she received it (she had to sign for it). I also reminded her in the new insurance letter that she is NOT to contact my job/HR/benefits office in regards to the insurance. She can contact me, my husband, or the insurance company. We found out from a supervisor this insurance company will NOT block a biological parent (regardless of custody)--so they won't block my husband unless the cOW submits a court order stating that he is to be blocked. Which nothing exists like that. Since this is a deductible plan I'm not playing around with this tramp.

I hope everyone has a good weekend! Happy 4th to everyone!


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, July 1st (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((disrespected))) I know the anticipation and anxiety of waiting all too well. Just try not to think too much on it. I will hope and pray for you that it's not your H's. The cOW in our sitch feels highly entitled to everything, wants to "belong" and be a part of our family. It. Will. NEVER. Happen. Maybe the OC down the road if my fwh decides to C, but she will NEVER have a "role" other than "vessel".


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
Finesse026
♀ Member
Member # 25868
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, July 1st (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you ever stop waking up thinking, "I can't believe this happened to me?"


Every. Damn. Day.


Together: 8.5 years
Married: 5 years
BW: 32
WH: 34
Angel baby: Nov. 09
OC born June '10

filed for D Oct. 15, served Dec 18
D final June 21, 2011


Posts: 1795 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Wonderland
Want2help
♀ Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, July 1st (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Finesse! How are you doing??


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
Surprise OC born 3/08 (NC)
6 years into successful R.
"That which can be destroyed by truth should be." -P. C. Hodgell

Posts: 1957 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
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