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Newest Member: iknowiwillbeok (43219)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Boundaries and Consequences 101 for all new BS
thisissogross
♀ Member
Member # 30294
Default  Posted: 11:31 PM, January 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


"A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love." -Friedrich Nietzsche

i edit frequently because i have to


Posts: 226 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: southern us
Rella
♀ Member
Member # 21136
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, January 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BUMP!


Happily Divorced- final in Oct. 2009, Engaged to my True Love in Dec. 2012

When his family jokingly tells you of how "spoiled" HE was as a child, RUN- It doesn't change when they get older!


Posts: 2206 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: New England
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 11:46 PM, January 20th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


BH 50, WW 41
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 19(Hers),DS 8 Ours, DGS 2 1/2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2077 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, January 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumpin' for newbies


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10)

Posts: 1798 | Registered: Nov 2010
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 3:43 PM, February 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

newbees!


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10)

Posts: 1798 | Registered: Nov 2010
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, March 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Weekend Bumps for Newbies


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10)

Posts: 1798 | Registered: Nov 2010
Jpapageorge
♂ Member
Member # 31800
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, March 9th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

Posts: 1656 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: California
Rella
♀ Member
Member # 21136
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, March 10th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


Happily Divorced- final in Oct. 2009, Engaged to my True Love in Dec. 2012

When his family jokingly tells you of how "spoiled" HE was as a child, RUN- It doesn't change when they get older!


Posts: 2206 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: New England
thisissogross
♀ Member
Member # 30294
Default  Posted: 2:57 AM, March 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


"A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love." -Friedrich Nietzsche

i edit frequently because i have to


Posts: 226 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: southern us
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, March 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% - and that's pretty good."

Posts: 4661 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
jackie89
♀ Member
Member # 38271
Default  Posted: 11:53 PM, March 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A great post. LOVE it, can still be applied!

Another reminder on how I wished I had found this site, when I was in denial/shock at the very beginning! My 1yr of hell TT, that I wasted!

I never looked up the word "infidelity" was always looking up "betrayed"

Thank You


BW,me - 46
STBXH - 47

Separated

When a person shows you who they are, believe them - Maya Angelou


Posts: 421 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 8:27 AM, March 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Family and friends on boths sides of our M knew about the A and did not tell me.

So, I don't consider them friends of our M.

One, to this day, continues to let WH spend overnights at her house and he told me during false R, "I chose her cause she lets me do what I want". She is also someone who thinks so differently than me that I can't consider being "friends" right now, never mind later.

WH does not understand this, but its not a surprise.

A few boundaries that I put out that I don't see on the list atop this thread:

-NC with me from OW's house where he has lived for a year;

-NC to OW if he has to come to "our" house;

-no trading resources between OW's family and "our" house; yes, he realy thought this was ok.

-limited texting/electronics when WH visits with DD, shouldn't time be one-on-one with her?


Ashland 13

The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge


Posts: 1965 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, April 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10)

Posts: 1798 | Registered: Nov 2010
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For ((Calikid))


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10)

Posts: 1798 | Registered: Nov 2010
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 7:07 PM, May 27th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better. Reconciled from the A's but still working hard for a better tomorrow.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2426 | Registered: Aug 2012
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 10:35 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10)

Posts: 1798 | Registered: Nov 2010
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:33 AM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bemp

Posts: 6027 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Jennifer99
♀ Member
Member # 39551
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think the key here is "detach".

I do, then I get all happy when its working, we get close, he gets stupid again.

I'm thinking my next boundary just may be that there is a limit to the number of times I'll through this cycle with him.

When I say he gets stupid again I don't mean he cheats again its all the other stuff - mean with words, impatient, treating me like the enemy - what we were even BEFORE the EA.


Posts: 524 | Registered: Jun 2013
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4124 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Jpapageorge
♂ Member
Member # 31800
Default  Posted: 3:18 AM, July 4th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

Posts: 1656 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: California
Topic Posts: 260
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