SurvivingInfidelity.com® > Just Found Out
Boundaries and Consequences 101 for all new BS
I spent most of my married life brushing things under the rug and pretending it wasn't happening to avoid the "what if he leaves" issue. And in the end, he left anyway.
setting boundaries will not determine if he leaves you or not, that will be his choice 100%. If he wants it to work, he will work to get to the point where he can accept your boundaries. If he doesn't, he will use the boundaries as an EXCUSE to leave, if he was going to leave anyway. It takes all the heat off him. It is mental blackmail and emotional abuse for a WS to inflict that on the BS.
Just a word of caution...don't set ANY consequences you are not fully prepared to see all the way through. Because if you set them, and he breaks the boundary and you do not follow through with the consequence, that only gives him more power.
Agreed, your boundarues are your. They are for you. We need to be able to tell other people when they are acting in ways that are not acceptable to us. This has nothing to do with others, we define how we are to be treated. Glad you apprecited it.
How about these Boundaries and Consequences:
It stops contacting the filthy puss bag or else it gets the hose again.
I realized recently this is one of my major issues I need to work on after riding this rollercoaster for 14 months. I now realize that as long as I allow him to lie and be so disrespectful to me he will continue.
So scary though.
[This message edited by laughagain? at 11:30 AM, November 11th (Friday)]
thanks... didn't see this 1st time around.
Great on for us newbies
bump for Twang
bump for geneva
Bump for L&B
What a great read for the end of the day! Wow powerful. Bless you!