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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men-Part 7
palerider
♂ Member
Member # 22496
Default  Posted: 6:33 PM, February 10th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WAL,
Now I see where I went wrong. Best post ever.

Posts: 579 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Texas
SurvivingEA
♂ Member
Member # 26872
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, February 10th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey Toreup:

Regarding your W calling her A her "defining moment"? Sounds like she doesn't really understand the meaning of that phrase.

Defining Moment: a point at which the essential nature or character of a person, group, etc., is revealed or identified.

So she is basically saying she is essentially a bad person.

Is this regret or ignorance?


Me: BS
Her: FWW

Posts: 766 | Registered: Dec 2009
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 11:49 PM, February 10th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WAL -
fuckin spot on, Brotha! Too bad we all seemed to miss the train to that fairy tale.

Living 5 states away now, and my new schedule hasnt allowed me to read up on everyones insights, stories, and support in general. Things are REALLY limbo land, but most of you know that and are living the same.Hope you all find more forward momentum than I'm experiencing of late.


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
SourCherryDrops
♂ Member
Member # 25883
Default  Posted: 1:52 AM, February 11th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey guys, remember its not a real fairytale unless someone is escaping the clutches of an evil hag!


Me BS 37, Her STBX 34, 1*ONS, 1*EA 1*PA/EA, 2*PA
Heading for D after 9 mths of R

Posts: 1468 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Europe
victory
♂ Member
Member # 31088
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, February 11th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi guys, I'm new to this forum having been just 2 weeks post Dday.

I have a question.

STD testing? She admits to having unprotected sex with the OM. Pissed!!! She says he's been tested and is clean. Whatever!!

I guess I need to go get tested?

What does the test consist of? Some type of swab? Blood drawn? I have no idea what that all entails.


Dday- 1-26-11 (7 month PA)
BH (me)-41
WW- 37
3 little kids (6-8-10)
married 11 yrs, together 17
Divorced summer 2012 (I think)
I HAVE CUSTODY OF MY GIRLS!!!

Posts: 204 | Registered: Feb 2011
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, February 11th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

victory.

Yes you should get STD tested. You WW should too. And you have to go back every 6 months for a time because some of those little bugs take a while to show up.

Razor


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3087 | Registered: Sep 2007
OnceInALifetime
♂ Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, February 11th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I went and got tested, and it turns out my health insurance refused to pay, which pissed me off no end. Hundreds of dollars.

Call your insurance and see if they will cover it. If not, you might be able to find a cheap clinic somewhere.


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
oftenwrong
♂ Member
Member # 27822
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, February 11th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Be sure to ask for a herpes and hepatits test. You will also want an Aids test. Tell your doctor your situation. They will be very understanding. Even if it is out of pocket, it will be the best money ever spent


ME - BSO (35 yrs old)
Her - XWSO (31 yrs old)
LTR 10 years - There can be no 2nd chances


Posts: 995 | Registered: Mar 2010
victory
♂ Member
Member # 31088
Default  Posted: 11:02 AM, February 11th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But what do they do? Just a blood draw? I'd like to know what to exepect when i go in.


Dday- 1-26-11 (7 month PA)
BH (me)-41
WW- 37
3 little kids (6-8-10)
married 11 yrs, together 17
Divorced summer 2012 (I think)
I HAVE CUSTODY OF MY GIRLS!!!

Posts: 204 | Registered: Feb 2011
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 11:06 AM, February 11th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For me it was just drawing of the blood. This was many year ago tho. So tests may have changed.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3087 | Registered: Sep 2007
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, February 11th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I went to the county health clinic-blood draw & this awful metal rod up the pee-hole.
6mos later my PC quack simply drew blood.


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5359 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
oftenwrong
♂ Member
Member # 27822
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, February 11th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, the rod in the peter is not pleasant.


ME - BSO (35 yrs old)
Her - XWSO (31 yrs old)
LTR 10 years - There can be no 2nd chances


Posts: 995 | Registered: Mar 2010
lostcause111
♂ Member
Member # 19109
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, February 11th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you have not fooled around I would drive her ass to the clinic.

[This message edited by lostcause111 at 2:36 PM, February 11th (Friday)]


Posts: 934 | Registered: Apr 2008
victory
♂ Member
Member # 31088
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, February 11th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She is my one and only. If she got tested and came back negative, then I'd be safe right? and not need to get tested myself? Id much prefer than than the metal rod thingy.


Dday- 1-26-11 (7 month PA)
BH (me)-41
WW- 37
3 little kids (6-8-10)
married 11 yrs, together 17
Divorced summer 2012 (I think)
I HAVE CUSTODY OF MY GIRLS!!!

Posts: 204 | Registered: Feb 2011
Lotsa
♂ Member
Member # 28078
Default  Posted: 2:45 AM, February 12th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@victory...

So you went to the doctor's when she got the results? Do you know exactly what she was tested for?

You should get tested yourself brother. You'll only know for sure if you go yourself. When I went, they didn't need to poke no metal rod anywhere near my pee-hole. At the very least go and speak to a doctor. See what's involved and make a decision from there.


Posts: 880 | Registered: Mar 2010
Merlin
♂ Member
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 7:21 AM, February 12th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Victory,

With respect, you are very close to D-day. You have little idea whether what you're hearing from your WW is accurate.

As std's are a matter of health and even life-and-death, I think you need independent proof that you're in the clear.


"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/56 Me: BS/62, 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11


Posts: 1107 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
Ethelred
♂ Member
Member # 23332
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, February 12th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got STD-tested about a month after D-Day. It was weird. I went to my Dr.s office and the nurses were asking all kinds of strange questions about why I needed the test, like misunderstanding exactly what test or saying stuff that basically amounted to delaying (can't recall what they were exactly now) I got kind of pissed. I said I wanted to talk to my Dr. directly and he closed the exam room door and I told him my straight story in like 4 sentences (kind of like my profile but shorter). He turned a little white and said "I'm so sorry". Then left the room and talked to the head nurse or something and everything became very business like and was over in 10 minutes. Next thing I knew I had a bandage on my arm and was writing a check ($300?). Later on hearing that my test was negative was one of the happier days of my life. I wouldn't call my Dr. a personal friend, but how he handled my situation reinforced my feeling of trust in him.


Me: BH
Her: WW
Married: almost 20 years
D-Day: 2009 (cybersex for over 5 years, associated EAs); in the dark about PAs, no full disclosure.

Posts: 271 | Registered: Mar 2009
reallyscrewedup7
♂ Member
Member # 30825
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, February 13th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ah yes, memories of the full panel STD screen. I really hope I will be able, one day, to completely erase those from my mind.

Imagine yourself going to a colleague to get this. I contemplated going WAY out of town for it, but given the hassle, I just sucked it up and went up two floors. In retrospect, I would have ordered the lab work for myself and done my own procedure, but for red flags.

If you have ever worked in a medical clinic or hospital, you know it seemingly runs on two things - ambition and gossip. Nothing gets both of them to intersect quite as well as a sex scandal for one of the doctors, especially a department head. I might as well had the entire story of my wife's infidelity flashing on the LCD display screen at the hospital entrance.

So having a urethra swab was nothing compared to the rest of the shit that was involved.


Infidelity sucks shit

Posts: 879 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Finding my way
victory
♂ Member
Member # 31088
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, February 14th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey guys,

It's been 2 1/2 weeks since Dday for me.

Prior to Dday, I was a very sexually aroused person. You know what I mean.

Since Dday, I have not had a single spontaneous "arousal".

I've totally lost any sex drive for the most part. Is this common?


Dday- 1-26-11 (7 month PA)
BH (me)-41
WW- 37
3 little kids (6-8-10)
married 11 yrs, together 17
Divorced summer 2012 (I think)
I HAVE CUSTODY OF MY GIRLS!!!

Posts: 204 | Registered: Feb 2011
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, February 14th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome to cuckuldry-happened to me, victory-I wouldn't worry about it-life's better w/o it, ya know?

Now I understand old men who no longer want any...it just ain't worth it.


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5359 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
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