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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affair Part 23
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 8:37 AM, February 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

...but I couldn't post the pic, cuz I'm tech stupid, but she was tight! and had a big, big gun.

allgood?

ETA: This one better?

[This message edited by atsenaotie at 8:56 AM, February 17th (Thursday)]


LTA BS 53
FWW 60
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Reconciled

Posts: 3968 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, February 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lol yes! Except the pic I found her hair was longer and mid-section was covered.


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, February 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Laura: Sleep eluding us is such a problem and then we don't feel right the next day. But I see some positive things like your WH is changing shifts and at least rubbed your back when he felt you were restless. I just bought the first book: The Girl With the Dragon Tatoo. Haven't started it yet, but it looks good!

Nell: If you feel that the teacher is writing snarky or unprofessional notes to you, contact the principal. There are so many wonderful dedicated teachers out there and then there are the ones like your son has who seem to have no business working with kids.
It's hard to keep up our self esteem when we are feeling attacked from all sides. I know that many times I might take it personally, when all it may be is that someone is having a bad day/time and I'm getting in the cross fire.

starstruck: I'm glad you are feeling better coming here. Jump right in whenever you want! The people here are wonderful, wise, and caring and have great advice. They have literally saved my life.

As for me, I've been doing a lot of reflecting. It was good that I found the journal I started writing over 23 years ago when first xWH left and I met current WH.
I was so much stronger then!!!
I'm seeing a lot of patterns and now have to figure out how I can find that strong person again.

I found something I wrote that might have something to do with the discussion about if the WS loved the OP. When I first met WH, he pursued me relentlessly. I really liked him and loved his company. He started telling me he loved me and wanted to marry me waaaaay too soon.

I wrote in my journal at the time, "I do love him, but not that way- more of how you make me feel. I care about him and don't want to hurt him. I want to be with him, but is this a need? Am I becoming obsessed or is it that he is practically the only positive thing in my life right now?"

I think that most WS's don't really reflect like that. They just do things. For whatever reason, the OP made them feel good and the WS confused the feeling of loving how they felt with loving the real person???KWIM?

It's so funny, that I'm learning from myself, and I was smarter when I was younger!!

I was cross posting with Allgood and Ats.

I love the picture Ats!!!!

Now that's the strong person I want to be!!

I still have to think of my name, though. WH always calls me an angel;..... so I should be "Avenging Angel" or "Dark Angel"?

I still like Phoenix and Rose Thorn...

Love the pics!!

ETA: made a mistake with putting the wrong name with advice

[This message edited by honesttoafault at 5:14 PM, February 17th (Thursday)]


Posts: 1903 | Registered: Jan 2010
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, February 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ats, put the other pic up too, I liked both

Posts: 1903 | Registered: Jan 2010
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 9:03 AM, February 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ats:

I like it - looks just like me too! Lol!


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, February 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Allgood.

Wow! You look great.

miracle.

Did you have a ass kicking name? The obvious one to me is MiracleWhip...

The weapons of choice would be first shotgun, 357, then tongs, spatula & fork. After that it will be all hand to hand combat. If that fails I guess it will be up to tryn and his plunger.

Nell.

He doesn't open the door for you? I always do that. My dad would have kicked my ass if I did not open doors for others.
Sometimes, if the timing is right (wrong?) I end up feeling like a door man.

ats.

The more I learn about these women of the LTA house is that they are so very sweet, kind and gentle, but when they get pissed, it might be time to head for the man cave and lock the door!

Hugs to the tribe.


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, February 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The more I learn about these women of the LTA house is that they are so very sweet, kind and gentle, but when they get pissed, it might be time to head for the man cave and lock the door

I believe this is an across the board female thing.


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, February 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am not sure if it's ok for me to post here, or not..

My fiance and I are dealing with the fall out of his father's 8 yr LTA with a stripper. I have told his mother about SI and have encouraged her to "check it out" but she won't. She says she's too embarassed to talk about it with anyone other than family, and she's not internet savvy.

I have printed out some parts of the Healing Library for her to read, and she says that it helps.

His father doesn't think he's done anything wrong. He still insists that stripperwhore is just his "friend" and he thinks of her as a "daughter". A daughter that he paid to see naked on more than one occasion

He has promised NC too many times to count, but it's like 24 hrs before he breaks it. My FMIL keeps threatening him with D, but she won't even speak with a lawyer about it So he knows that she's not going to kick him out, and she's not going to leave. He justifies it by saying he was "bored", and SHE is a "really good person". Um, no, she's not. She's a drug addicted prosititute who has been arrested multiple times. Every time she gets pissed off at my FFIL she calls my FMIL to let her know just what they've been up to.

It's hard to watch them go through this. They've been married for 44 years. Well, 36 yrs that we think he was faithful.

Anyway, if it's better that I don't post here because it's not me going through the LTA, I understand and I apologize.



Posts: 3100 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
ImNellNow
♀ Member
Member # 28753
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, February 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

easy,
If you B-MIL has access to a computer, would it be possible for you to put a link to this page on her desktop so that all she has to do is click it and wait for the window to open? It sounds like she's in a crappy situation and I'm sure needs the support. So sorry that she and the rest of your IL family (and you!) are having to deal with this selfish, foggy douchebaggery.

As to Boyo1, I'm keeping a file of stuff right now and am making sure that I have done all my due diligence to make his classroom a good place for him to be. I would like to add her to the karma bus tour schedule if that's okay.


BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.

Posts: 2370 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Baby steps on my new path
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 11:02 AM, February 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nell: Consider it done.


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, February 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nell, thank you...and I will try doing that later today. Even if I can just get her to "lurk" I think it would help her. She doesn't get that everything's anonymous here. She's in her 70's and just hates technology.

Posts: 3100 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, February 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Itainteasy - I think your FMIL's response is understandable given her age. She probably thinks it's too late to start over, kwim? Poor thing.


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
m334455
♀ Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, February 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

itainteasy -- the answer to your question is of course you can post here! An A doesn't just hurt the BS.

You know, my grandmother just celebrated her 89th birthday. My great grandmother died last year at 101. My grandfather lived to 92. I think being miserable 10 or 20 or 30 more years ... well, 70's or not she's got to be better off without him!


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, February 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

easy: i would think that if she is hesitant to post here or even read you might try printing out excerpts from this thread among others for her to read.....and the book not just friends might also be helpful....

if she is open to it, ic, mc or at the very least the pastor from her church....your fiance may not be able to handle all that she may have to say...but can you???...you might also be a source of comfort to her, i read your profile and since you have been on every end of this spectrum you are in a really good position to be there for her.....

allgood: that pic does really look like you....so tell us is it???


nell: i hate sucky teachers...having had to suffer through a few, june could not come fast enough those years....maybe you could make a voodoo doll in the meantime, til the bus is ready to go....


honest:

I'm learning from myself, and I was smarter when I was younger!!

i don't think smarter....i think you were just not in love yet....we get real stupid when we fall in love...


laura:

i love it...focus on the positive....it is actually how i have always tried to live my life...aint always easy to do, very easy to lose oneself in troubles...

its a shame that it really easier to dwell on pain then it is to focus on positive....


i think i will have to check out those movies...do not have time for the books, still reading the harry potter series....does anyone know the titles??


miracle whip, hmmm, do i get a whip like indiana jones, and could it be rigged so that i cannot possible whip myself by accident...


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, February 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Miracle Whip


Laura28 ?

[This message edited by atsenaotie at 4:09 PM, February 17th (Thursday)]


LTA BS 53
FWW 60
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Reconciled

Posts: 3968 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
njgal480
♀ Member
Member # 24938
Default  Posted: 4:40 PM, February 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

itainteasy-
I actually have a friend that is in her 70's and is dealing with a LTA.
I will send you a private message.


Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA
Reconciled.


Posts: 3139 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: NJ
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 5:29 PM, February 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

itaint easy: I read your profile and you've been through a lot.
I agree with Miracle that your FMIL could benefit from IC (counselling) or seeing her pastor. She definitely needs another outlet than her son. He is NOT her therapist.

Hopefully, you can convince her that this forum is anonymous and she would be safe posting here, or just reading.

"Not Just Friends" would be a good read for your FFIL, MMIL and your boyfriend.

You, yourself, have been through a lot too. You have had a hard time growing up, and perhaps could benefit from some IC sessions.


Posts: 1903 | Registered: Jan 2010
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 5:41 PM, February 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

itainteasy,

Welcome (?) to our little corner of SI.

Just a thought, but has anyone considered calling for a competency hearing? He may be loosing it some. Just going through the process would certainly shine some sunlight on everything.

[This message edited by atsenaotie at 5:42 PM, February 17th (Thursday)]


LTA BS 53
FWW 60
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Reconciled

Posts: 3968 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 6:33 PM, February 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG! ats, that does look like allgood! It really does...

and laura, that pic is close to x rated.. lol

itainteasy... Could that woman want you FIL money? She must be taking advantage of you FIL. What is his age? It's been a long time since I've been to a strip club but never saw a 50-60 year old stripper. Your FIL need help. He is sick.

[This message edited by trynhard at 6:34 PM, February 17th (Thursday)]


Posts: 2636 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 9:28 PM, February 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ats: that picture..

i think she needs a top....


love mine tho..


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
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