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The Book Club Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Anyone tried Mort Fertel program?
4kidscheatinghub
♀ Member
Member # 31203
Default  Posted: 10:24 AM, March 8th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That u do together at home? Any reviews or opinions? Can u search a topic on these forums? If so where? Thx!


Me-34years old
husband (cheater)-39
4 amazing kids
http://www.ihatehimihatehimnot.wordpress.com
Boy-12
Girl-age 10
Boy/girl twins age 6
AND IT STILL WASN'T ENOUGH!
D-DAY-2/14/11
in counseling constantly but pain is excrutiating. He wants

Posts: 316 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: knoxville, tn
BlueII
♀ Member
Member # 30801
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, March 8th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just posted a topic on this in the Reconciliation room. Very interested to hear from people who have tried this program and if it is worth the money. It's hard when you live in a more rural area and don't have access to MC.

Posts: 141 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: British Columbia, Canada
SerJR
♂ Member
Member # 14993
Default  Posted: 5:23 AM, March 9th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I bought it shortly after D-day. It was advertised as a magic bullet that would save your marriage no matter what. Obviously, it didn't. It felt like half of the material was Mort just talking about how wonderful he and his program is. There was some valuable insight/advice, but I found better material for free on marriagebuilders.com and would recommend that site over it.


Me: BH - Happily remarried.
Hope is never lost. It exists within you - it is real. It is not a force in and of itself - it is something that you create with every thought, action, and choice you make. It is a gift that you create for yourself.

Posts: 17109 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Further North than South
BlueII
♀ Member
Member # 30801
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, March 9th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will check that site out!
Thanks!

Posts: 141 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: British Columbia, Canada
4kidscheatinghub
♀ Member
Member # 31203
Default  Posted: 5:11 PM, March 9th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

great to know! thanks so much for letting me know that! xo


Me-34years old
husband (cheater)-39
4 amazing kids
http://www.ihatehimihatehimnot.wordpress.com
Boy-12
Girl-age 10
Boy/girl twins age 6
AND IT STILL WASN'T ENOUGH!
D-DAY-2/14/11
in counseling constantly but pain is excrutiating. He wants

Posts: 316 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: knoxville, tn
fuerza
♀ New Member
Member # 31306
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, March 18th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We did...after DD1...i hated it. We coudn't go to MC at the time and his idea that the A shouldn't be talked about killed me. I was still struggling with trust issues, when A#2 happened. Wish we had done it differently. This time we are in MC and IC and I'm hopeful but afraid too much damage may have happened for R to occur. I would NOT recommend it.

Posts: 12 | Registered: Feb 2011
TryingToBreathe
♀ Member
Member # 14935
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, March 18th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've got his program collecting dust in my closet. I never got a chance to try it out.
My XSO moved in the OW after I moved out -- AND while *we* were in counseling.


Hmmm, maybe I should list it for sale on Craigslist.


Posts: 2079 | Registered: Jun 2007
BlueII
♀ Member
Member # 30801
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, August 25th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have not heard one good thing about it. I signed up for the "free" part of the program and was so desperate to save my relationship that I did EVERY thing he told me to do. One of the things he mentioned was to buy your partner a gift. Now, I am about 10 days off of D day and buying my WH a gift. The gift I chose was a magazine subscription so every month I have yet another reminder of my WS despicable actions. I just got the renewal notice in the mail this week. I will NOT be renewing. Mort's free advice was worth about what I paid for it.

Posts: 141 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: British Columbia, Canada
Waiting@home
♀ Member
Member # 24792
Default  Posted: 3:53 PM, August 25th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have the program and can say that he has some great tips for marriages, that really just seem like common sense. I agree that in the case of an affair, not talking about it will just about kill the BS. It may not work so great for that. On other fronts, he is just as good as a MC in my opinion and a whole lot less money. The CDs are really good. Back when I was married, MY XH said he liked the CDS, though he only listened to 2-3. After the divorce, I listened to all of them to try and fix myself. I think that if we all behaved as he suggests, that we would not need MCs or argue all the time. For example, date night cannot be a night to talk about kids, problems, etc. There is a special meeting time set aside to discuss finances and such. Problems are compartmentalized and you are told to treat your partner like they are the most special person to you, which they are. Anyway, he has a lot of good things to say. He says that in the case of an affair, you will do the program, and then talk about the transgression in a few weeks. He feels that we talk about the problem at the worst possible time, when we are raw, and that first we should try to reconnect and have fun together, like we once did so we have some positive emotion to help counterbalance all the negative. He created the program after MC didn't work for him. He and his wife felt worse after MC each week, and they had suffered the loss of a child. I know that the ride home from the MC can be a long one!


BS-me
DD1 Dec 13, 2008 EA
DD2 April 15, 2009 EA
M 17 yrs
Divorced the WXH


Posts: 321 | Registered: Jul 2009
Topic Posts: 9

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