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Newest Member: JayJay7 (47393)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Before You Say Reconcile...
Fighting2Survive
♀ Member
Member # 28410
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, August 15th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces


Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 6:36 PM, August 27th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 70 (22 in my head), Married 45+, together since 1965, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
I'm not an exemplar. I share my own experience because it's all I know.

Posts: 11262 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
scangel3
♀ Member
Member # 36164
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, August 27th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I really wish I had seen this and the 180 when I first found out about my wh affair, i wouldn't be where I am today. I may actually be happy and not trying to figure out what to do from here


BS-me 31, WH-31, M'd-10 years
DD 10, DS 7, DS 6.5
Dday 03/01/10 (our DD's bday)
A ended 08/31/10-09/02-10 (with multiple ddays in between).TT on 08/2012, 09/04/12, 11/16/2012, 01/2013, 6/25/2013 Says he wants R, but not proving it

Posts: 715 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Portland
nowiknow23
♀ Moderator
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, September 12th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumping for a member.


You can call me NIK

“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön


Posts: 29093 | Registered: Aug 2011
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, September 14th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


BS- Me (43)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

Posts: 1990 | Registered: Nov 2010
fourever
♀ Member
Member # 30631
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, September 17th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Monday bump


In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.

Always, tell the other BS! Always!

"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!


Posts: 916 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Northeast
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, September 29th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump

Posts: 11816 | Registered: Mar 2008
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, October 7th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5337 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, October 13th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

weekend bump.

Posts: 11816 | Registered: Mar 2008
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, October 22nd (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump for Newbies


BS- Me (43)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

Posts: 1990 | Registered: Nov 2010
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, November 16th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HAIL AND WELL MET


"He didn't say "That's weird." He wouldn't have said "That's weird" if a flock of sheep had cycled past playing violins. It wasn't the sort of thing a responsible engineer said." - Good Omens

Posts: 7825 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, November 16th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is the first I have seen this post, and I must say great job Fighting2Survive. I can now see why FWW is STBXW. She scored 25% (1 out of 4) on the Reconcilation table, and only 10% (1 out of 10) on the Remorse list. No wonder I have detached and given up.


LTA FBS 54
dday 10.5.09
Separated and Divorcing

Posts: 4169 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
follyandsuch
♀ New Member
Member # 37512
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, November 16th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am grateful I have found this.

I'm so sick of my ex-fi just wanting to tell me to put it in the past. "I said I'm sorry, what else can I do," and "it's up to you." I realize he'd rather rugsweep than reconcile after reading this.

I'm so glad I found this site.


Posts: 38 | Registered: Nov 2012
allhopegone
♂ Member
Member # 37465
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, November 17th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for putting up all the links to great info in one place

Posts: 91 | Registered: Nov 2012
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, December 8th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumping to first page for weekend posters.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 5662 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, December 10th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumpin'


BS- Me (43)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

Posts: 1990 | Registered: Nov 2010
Jrazz
♀ Moderator
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, December 13th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


"No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path." - Buddha

Posts: 21816 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:01 PM, December 18th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump!

Posts: 7012 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 11:23 PM, December 21st (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5337 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, December 24th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


BS- Me (43)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

Posts: 1990 | Registered: Nov 2010
Topic Posts: 421
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