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Before You Say Reconcile...

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norabird posted 3/12/2014 15:12 PM

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Simple posted 3/13/2014 15:43 PM

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yearsofpain25 posted 3/15/2014 08:02 AM

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tushnurse posted 3/19/2014 15:12 PM

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tushnurse posted 3/24/2014 20:20 PM

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justinpaintoday posted 3/24/2014 20:28 PM

Thanks for posting....my WW is a rugsweeper all the way. Have prayed and tried to nice my way to R but no go. I am now working the 180 (day 2) to heal me without her. If she joins the M later perhaps I will be better prepared to decide my fate.

tushnurse posted 3/27/2014 10:44 AM

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Simple posted 3/27/2014 17:03 PM

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Simple posted 3/28/2014 16:09 PM

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jjct posted 3/30/2014 09:53 AM

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tushnurse posted 4/3/2014 12:32 PM

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thisissogross posted 4/6/2014 00:28 AM

tushnurse posted 4/9/2014 08:32 AM

Simple posted 4/11/2014 18:26 PM

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kernel posted 4/13/2014 14:27 PM

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krispy47 posted 4/14/2014 09:04 AM

So far -- only 6 weeks out from DDay, I grant you -- my WH is doing every single thing on this list. He decided within 24 hrs of discovery that the A and all of the sick behaviors that preceded it were a colossal mistake. He's been remorseful, attentive and is eagerly seeking help for his behavior in a number of constructive ways, including IC, MC, independent reading and reading/posting here.

And yet I still feel like it isn't enough.

I feel so torn! These weeks of talking so honestly, making love so tenderly, and enjoying each other's company in ways we have not done for a decade make me wonder if a rebuilt, rearranged marriage might actually make me happier than I have ever been. At the same time, I still double over in agony every time I think about WH and his slut in my home, and about how cold and calculating his lies and betrayals were. How can this tender, loving man and that cruel, hateful POS be the same person. My head spins...

I've given myself until July 1 to make a final decision, but I'm going to feel badly if he has tried to hard and I still just can't bring myself to R. Comments or suggestions?

annb posted 4/21/2014 07:14 AM

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plewpiter posted 4/22/2014 21:35 PM

krispy47, all I can say is give it time. I'm one year out, and my WW has done very few things in the Remorse column, but yet there is progress. It may be at a glacial pace for me, unfortunately, and I'm getting very impatient. It's different for every situation, of course.

You have so much going for you in that he is doing the right things, and doing them immediately. After 6 weeks, I'm sure it is normal to still have those disgusting, double over in pain, lie crying on the floor moments. I speak from experience that the memory of the "original sins" fades. What doesn't fade is a WS that refuses to do the things necessary on his/her end to reconcile. Indifference is the absolute worst.

jjct posted 4/25/2014 14:42 PM

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lilacs40 posted 4/29/2014 21:10 PM

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AFrayedKnot posted 5/4/2014 18:55 PM

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