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Newest Member: Everythingsucks1 (45359)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Before You Say Reconcile...
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, March 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Simple
♀ Member
Member # 18814
Default  Posted: 3:43 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Love is a choice.

True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.

Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.


Posts: 927 | Registered: Mar 2008
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2200 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, March 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8714 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8714 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
justinpaintoday
♂ Member
Member # 42858
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for posting....my WW is a rugsweeper all the way. Have prayed and tried to nice my way to R but no go. I am now working the 180 (day 2) to heal me without her. If she joins the M later perhaps I will be better prepared to decide my fate.


I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

Posts: 700 | Registered: Mar 2014
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 10:44 AM, March 27th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8714 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Simple
♀ Member
Member # 18814
Default  Posted: 5:03 PM, March 27th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Love is a choice.

True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.

Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.


Posts: 927 | Registered: Mar 2008
Simple
♀ Member
Member # 18814
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, March 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Love is a choice.

True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.

Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.


Posts: 927 | Registered: Mar 2008
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BUMP

Posts: 6646 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, April 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8714 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
thisissogross
♀ Member
Member # 30294
Default  Posted: 12:28 AM, April 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


"A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love." -Friedrich Nietzsche

i edit frequently because i have to


Posts: 241 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: southern us
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8714 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Simple
♀ Member
Member # 18814
Default  Posted: 6:26 PM, April 11th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Love is a choice.

True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.

Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.


Posts: 927 | Registered: Mar 2008
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5260 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
krispy47
♀ Member
Member # 42863
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, April 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So far -- only 6 weeks out from DDay, I grant you -- my WH is doing every single thing on this list. He decided within 24 hrs of discovery that the A and all of the sick behaviors that preceded it were a colossal mistake. He's been remorseful, attentive and is eagerly seeking help for his behavior in a number of constructive ways, including IC, MC, independent reading and reading/posting here.

And yet I still feel like it isn't enough.

I feel so torn! These weeks of talking so honestly, making love so tenderly, and enjoying each other's company in ways we have not done for a decade make me wonder if a rebuilt, rearranged marriage might actually make me happier than I have ever been. At the same time, I still double over in agony every time I think about WH and his slut in my home, and about how cold and calculating his lies and betrayals were. How can this tender, loving man and that cruel, hateful POS be the same person. My head spins...

I've given myself until July 1 to make a final decision, but I'm going to feel badly if he has tried to hard and I still just can't bring myself to R. Comments or suggestions?


Me: 47 WH: 48
Married 22 years, 4 kids
DDay: 3/5/14, 7 yr LTA plus rising ONS body count
Status: currently riding the coaster from hell

Posts: 107 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Virginia
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 7:14 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump

Posts: 7593 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
plewpiter
♂ Member
Member # 43034
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

krispy47, all I can say is give it time. I'm one year out, and my WW has done very few things in the Remorse column, but yet there is progress. It may be at a glacial pace for me, unfortunately, and I'm getting very impatient. It's different for every situation, of course.

You have so much going for you in that he is doing the right things, and doing them immediately. After 6 weeks, I'm sure it is normal to still have those disgusting, double over in pain, lie crying on the floor moments. I speak from experience that the memory of the "original sins" fades. What doesn't fade is a WS that refuses to do the things necessary on his/her end to reconcile. Indifference is the absolute worst.


Married 2.5 years (Dec 2011)
D-Day April 2013
EA (maybe more) with her boss, who she had had a PA with before meeting me
Trying to Reconcile

Posts: 79 | Registered: Apr 2014
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump

Posts: 6646 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
lilacs40
♀ Member
Member # 31314
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

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I wish I could just stop I know another moment will break my heart too many tears too many time too many years I've cried over you

Posts: 322 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: IL
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