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Before You Say Reconcile...

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MrsSprky99 posted 7/27/2011 21:35 PM

Thanks so very much for posting this for all of us who are recently experiencing this for the very first time. Puts everything in perspective well!

Brentwood posted 7/27/2011 21:44 PM

Thanks for was just what I needed to see again to remember that my STBXH is never gonna understand what R really is.

crazynot posted 7/28/2011 03:27 AM

Just remember, that failing to get to 'R' is no reflection on you. If the affair has been serious (as in my case), trying to 'R' may be a big mistake and separation/divorce a positive step. Never thought I'd say that 2 years ago!

SabinatheOwl posted 7/30/2011 10:14 AM


annb posted 8/3/2011 13:17 PM


lordhasaplan? posted 8/5/2011 07:50 AM

whyme80 posted 8/5/2011 15:18 PM

Oh, if only had I read this a few more times and with more attention after d-day...I wouldn't have wasted the last 6 weeks, and I would have spared myself so much pain.

suspicious247 posted 8/6/2011 14:01 PM

Wow excellent post! I will save this one.

Question - at first he was doing everything in column 1. But after about 6-8 months he completely went to column 2. His explanation for this is that we have already talked about everything and I have repeated myself numerous times and he is not stupid and does not need to be told the same thing multiple times. And there is nothing more to discuss.

Is there a time frame where you cant expect column 1 anymore?

suspicious247 posted 8/6/2011 14:04 PM

Well except for the transparency part. That was never fully provided even though he agreed to do it. And I felt bad bugging him about it. Thought I'd misuse it myself since feel the need to snoop pretty often. Would rather have passwords withhout him knowing, otherwise whats the point.

Also, do PI's supply passwords? I see tons of site online but they seem like scams. Looking for somoene reputable...

annb posted 8/7/2011 14:11 PM


dove posted 8/8/2011 23:40 PM

The problem that I have is knowing if he is being truthful. We have tried MC and I found out that he lied to both me and the MC.
How can I trust him again? I guess I have to give a vlear list and a deadline for myself

Crazy Daze posted 8/9/2011 01:27 AM

Yes! 2 years of rugsweeping has come to an end and we are finally in reconciliation!

greenmoose posted 8/9/2011 08:01 AM

we are in R,WF does it all except the last one. This is still a stumbling block for us. I do not believe he is still in the affair, but he will not provide details. I have to pull EVERYTHIMG out of him. He will admit to it if I have evidence, but otherwise he remains silent. He says he can't stand hurting me. I think that is part of it, but more I think he protecting himself.

The TT has got to stop. We go along fine for a couple of weeks, then something pops up out of the blue and we are derailed. I will be showing him this chart today. Thank you so much for posting

annb posted 8/11/2011 14:26 PM


NewTurn posted 8/11/2011 23:10 PM


lordhasaplan? posted 8/14/2011 09:00 AM


SabinatheOwl posted 8/17/2011 10:49 AM


annb posted 8/23/2011 13:16 PM


lordhasaplan? posted 8/24/2011 08:18 AM

For (((exhaustedmum)))

annb posted 8/26/2011 10:07 AM

bump for ununderstood

annb posted 9/3/2011 22:31 PM


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