Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Dha0128 (46042)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Before You Say Reconcile...
MrsSprky99
♀ Member
Member # 32895
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, July 27th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks so very much for posting this for all of us who are recently experiencing this for the very first time. Puts everything in perspective well!


BW (me) - 47
WH (him) - 53
Married - 14 years
3 Children - 25, 24 from first relationship & 10 y/o with WH
D-Day: June 11, 2011

Posts: 78 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Northern IL
Brentwood
♀ Member
Member # 27465
Default  Posted: 9:44 PM, July 27th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for bumping...it was just what I needed to see again to remember that my STBXH is never gonna understand what R really is.


Me BW (59) What?!?!
Him BH (59)

Posts: 192 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: S. California
crazynot
♀ Member
Member # 24572
Default  Posted: 3:27 AM, July 28th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just remember, that failing to get to 'R' is no reflection on you. If the affair has been serious (as in my case), trying to 'R' may be a big mistake and separation/divorce a positive step. Never thought I'd say that 2 years ago!


Me - 50
Him - 51
DDay 21 March 2009
Divorcing and delighted!

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.


Posts: 940 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
SabinatheOwl
♀ Member
Member # 30023
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, July 30th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


Details & story in profile

"Live a life not an apology." Edward R.Murrow

"I can be changed by what happens to me but I refuse to be reduced by it."

Maya Angelou


Posts: 1350 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Metro DC
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, August 3rd (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump

Posts: 7666 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 7:50 AM, August 5th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1936 | Registered: Nov 2010
whyme80
♀ Member
Member # 32418
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, August 5th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, if only had I read this a few more times and with more attention after d-day...I wouldn't have wasted the last 6 weeks, and I would have spared myself so much pain.

Posts: 292 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Ireland
suspicious247
♀ Member
Member # 33014
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, August 6th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow excellent post! I will save this one.

Question - at first he was doing everything in column 1. But after about 6-8 months he completely went to column 2. His explanation for this is that we have already talked about everything and I have repeated myself numerous times and he is not stupid and does not need to be told the same thing multiple times. And there is nothing more to discuss.

Is there a time frame where you cant expect column 1 anymore?


Posts: 390 | Registered: Aug 2011
suspicious247
♀ Member
Member # 33014
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, August 6th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well except for the transparency part. That was never fully provided even though he agreed to do it. And I felt bad bugging him about it. Thought I'd misuse it myself since feel the need to snoop pretty often. Would rather have passwords withhout him knowing, otherwise whats the point.

Also, do PI's supply passwords? I see tons of site online but they seem like scams. Looking for somoene reputable...


Posts: 390 | Registered: Aug 2011
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, August 7th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump

Posts: 7666 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
dove
♀ Member
Member # 15382
Default  Posted: 11:40 PM, August 8th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The problem that I have is knowing if he is being truthful. We have tried MC and I found out that he lied to both me and the MC.
How can I trust him again? I guess I have to give a vlear list and a deadline for myself
Dove

Posts: 244 | Registered: Jul 2007
Crazy Daze
♀ Member
Member # 31843
Default  Posted: 1:27 AM, August 9th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes! 2 years of rugsweeping has come to an end and we are finally in reconciliation!

Posts: 114 | Registered: Apr 2011
greenmoose
♀ Member
Member # 32727
Default  Posted: 8:01 AM, August 9th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

we are in R,WF does it all except the last one. This is still a stumbling block for us. I do not believe he is still in the affair, but he will not provide details. I have to pull EVERYTHIMG out of him. He will admit to it if I have evidence, but otherwise he remains silent. He says he can't stand hurting me. I think that is part of it, but more I think he protecting himself.

The TT has got to stop. We go along fine for a couple of weeks, then something pops up out of the blue and we are derailed. I will be showing him this chart today. Thank you so much for posting


me BS 43
him WH 36
M 15 yrs
4 children, two still in the house
multiple affairs thoughout marriage (five that I know of)
currently R

Posts: 316 | Registered: Jul 2011
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump

Posts: 7666 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
NewTurn
♀ Member
Member # 26399
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, August 11th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


BW-45
DDay too many to count! Many false R till final DDay Dec 5 2008
Divorced Feb 2009

Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results!


Posts: 51 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Tx
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, August 14th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1936 | Registered: Nov 2010
SabinatheOwl
♀ Member
Member # 30023
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, August 17th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Details & story in profile

"Live a life not an apology." Edward R.Murrow

"I can be changed by what happens to me but I refuse to be reduced by it."

Maya Angelou


Posts: 1350 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Metro DC
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, August 23rd (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump

Posts: 7666 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, August 24th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For (((exhaustedmum)))


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1936 | Registered: Nov 2010
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, August 26th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump for ununderstood

Posts: 7666 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
Topic Posts: 407
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21

Return to Forum: Just Found Out Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.